A soft, pain-filled voice answered him. “Why have you woken me? You wish to torment me again?”
The AllFather tsked disapprovingly. “Why would I wish to torture you? You know the flavor of your pain no longer givesss me pleasure.”
“Then why? There must be a reason. Or will you finally kill me? I am close to death already—I can feel it.” The soft voice broke. “Please…let me die.”
“Not yet.” The AllFather smiled, his lipless mouth stretching into a skeletal grin. “Sssomeone is coming to sssee you. You would not wish to misss his visit, I think.”
“Who? Not—”
“Sssilence,” the AllFather hissed, closing his eyes. “Be sssilent and let me concentrate. You will sssee him in good time, my dear. In good time.”
Thirty-Four
Xairn closed his eyes and let himself drift. Lauren was resting comfortably in his arms and Little One was curled up asleep on one side of his pillow. For the first time in his whole life, he felt completely and totally at peace and it was a wonderful feeling. Wonderful and yet…strange as well. There was something inside him now—some force or power—something he hadn’t felt before they made love. It puzzled Xairn and troubled him a little but whatever it was, it didn’t seem to be hurting him. It was simply there—a soft buzzing in the back of his mind, telling him he was changed.
It’s probably nothing, he told himself. Just the release of tension that was building up for so long. And what a release it had been…
They had made love several times, working themselves to a sweet exhaustion before Lauren had finally untied him and they had collapsed on the bed. Xairn reflected that it was extremely satisfying to finally consummate their love, to give in to the urges that had been tormenting both Lauren and himself for months now. He wondered that he hadn’t thought of taking the submissive role before but it simply hadn’t occurred to him. Male Scourge were always dominant. In fact, he wondered if one of his kind had ever allowed themselves to be subjugated by a female before. Probably not—such an action would have been seen as a sign of weakness in any male. But Xairn didn’t care as long as it allowed him to be with Lauren.
It was ironic in a way—he was one of the last real Scourge and yet he was the first to bow to the dominance of a female. And I will do it again without hesitation, he thought, stroking Lauren’s cheek tenderly. Any male would be proud to call her mistress. Would be lucky to give himself to her during lovemaking.
Of course, though their lovemaking had been amazing, it wasn’t bonding sex. Part of him—the savage, possessive Scourge part of his soul—still demanded that he take her completely, that he make her his beyond the shadow of a doubt. But Xairn found it easier to ignore that part now that the worst of his sexual thirst had been quenched.
Besides, bonding sex with a Scourge meant pain—not just for Lauren, but for any female who lay with a Scourge male. There were no full-blooded Scourge females left and no other species was equipped to handle that size and thickness of a Scourge male’s primary and secondary shaft. The results of bonding sex with an Earth female would no doubt be severe agony and probably injury—even if he was gentle, which he was certain he couldn’t be. He knew his Scourge instincts well enough by now to know that as soon as the urge to bond took over, he would be incapable of tenderness during the act.
He loved Lauren and didn’t want to hurt her. So even though part of him would always feel incomplete, he refused to give in to his instinct to make her completely and totally his. It was better to remain as they were now rather than risk everything to fully possess her.
Putting the idea of bonding to the side, Xairn felt a glow of contentment as he contemplated his future. Despite Slk’s dire predictions that his Scourge DNA would reassert itself, the human strain he had gotten from Lauren seemed to be holding up remarkably well, and Xairn was grateful for it. It was that small restraint which had allowed him to take the submissive rather than the traditional dominant role during their lovemaking. Without it, he knew he would have burst his bonds and taken Lauren to the bed for bonding sex without hesitation. His Scourge instincts were simply too strong to control without help. Help from the tiny bit of humanity he carried within him. His eyes still got hot and changed to their old color when he was under a great deal of stress, but other than that he looked like a human male and that was how he was content to stay.
Lauren shifted, her long black hair whispering over his bare chest, and sighed softly. Xairn thought he saw a soft smile curve her lips and he smiled himself in answer. Now that they had finally found a way to be together without hurting her, he knew he would never leave. He and Lauren and Little One could stay together forever here on Earth, working in Lauren’s shop during the day and basking in the glow of their love at night. Together they were a family—something he had never really had and always longed for.
Still thinking of the warm, perfect future than lay before them, Xairn dropped a final kiss on Lauren’s silky black hair and allowed himself to relax into sleep.
“Ssson…my ssson…”
The familiar voice was calling him, calling from a long way away and yet it was too close. Much closer than Xairn ever wanted to be to the owner of that hissing, evil voice again.
“Xairn…” The voice called his name insistently. “Come to me, my ssson. I have sssomething I think you’ll want to sssee.”
“Leave me alone!” he tried to shout but the words came out in a whisper. Suddenly he was standing in the great, dark throne room of the Fathership. Sitting on the throne, etched in poison green lines, was his father.
The sight was a familiar one to him—something he had seen almost every day from birth. But there was something new this time. The AllFather’s booted feet rested on a large rectangular object that had been covered with a cloth. A box? No, a cage, Xairn was certain. He could hear something rustling around inside it and the cloth covering billowed, outlining the thick bars. For a moment he thought he saw the outline of a hand clasping one of the cruel iron rods, just beneath the cloth, but then it disappeared and he couldn’t be sure if he’d really seen it or not.
“What do you want with me?” he asked his father. “I renounced you and my entire race. How did you even find me?”
“You mean with your altered DNA?” The AllFather sneered derisively at his changed skin and eyes. “Yesss, excellent work, that. You look exactly like a human now…and you act like one too.”
Xairn frowned. “If you called me here to mock me, I don’t care. I like the way I look now and Lauren likes it too. Not to mention the fact that my human DNA allows me to control the Scourge urges to injure and rape that I inherited from you.”
The crimson eyes burned. “I cannot believe you sssubverted your natural urgesss for the sssake of that female. A female too weak to withstand you in your true form isss no fit mate for my ssson.”
“Be careful, Father. She is my female and I will hear no word spoken against her,” Xairn growled.
“Your female, eh?” The AllFather laughed. “How dare you call her so when you haven’t placed a single mark of possession on her? Where is her brand? Where are her piercings and collar? Instead, you carry her brand on your chest as though she were the dominant and you the sssubmissive.”
Xairn lifted his chin. “I am submissive to her and I am proud of it. I would rather call her Mistress and bend myself to her will for the rest of my life than dominate and hurt her even once.”
His father made a noise of disgust at the back of his throat. “Truly you have become a weakling, my ssson. You ssswear eternal love for this female—you let her brand you with her name, you even take her DNA inside you. Yet you don’t even have the ssstrength to bond her to you. At any time ssshe could leave you and you could not ssstop her for you have no bond.”
“You know as well as I do what bonding sex entails for our kind,” Xairn growled. “I won’t put Lauren through that. And what’s more, I am through discussing it with you. Goodbye.” He turned to go, although he had no idea
how to get out of the strange dream, but the AllFather called him back.
“Wait, my ssson. I didn’t call you here sssimply to ssspeak of your little female. I have sssomething here I think you’ll want to sssee.”
“Whatever you have, I don’t want to see it,” Xairn said, but he couldn’t help turning his head.
“Perhapsss I misspoke. I ssshould have sssaid I have sssomeone you might wish to sssee.” The AllFather leaned forward and patted the cloth-covered cage, his eyes glowing with evil glee. “Sssomeone you have been wishing to sssee for a very long time. Your entire life, in fact.”
Xairn’s heart was suddenly in his throat. He turned back toward the cage, his hands curled into fists at his sides. “What have you done? Who do you have in there?”
“Who do you think?” With a sudden move, the AllFather rose and yanked the black cloth from the cruel metal cage, revealing the occupant shivering within.
Xairn’s legs gave way and he stumbled, coming down on his hands and knees before the cage. “No,” he whispered as the familiar green eyes looked into his own. “No. Oh, no…”
“Oh yesss!” The AllFather began to laugh—a high, evil cackle that filled Xairn’s head like the tolling of a bell. He tried to get away from the sound, from the sight that met his eyes, but he couldn’t. He was trapped…trapped…
Lauren was jolted out of a deep, contented sleep by a shout of pure horror. “Oh my God, what? What is it?” she gasped, looking around wildly. Beside her, Xairn was thrashing wildly, so much so that Little One had retreated to the corner of the couch and was staring at him reproachfully with her big brown eyes.
“No!” he was gasping—moaning really. “No, no, no. Not her. Not her.”
“Not who?” Lauren demanded, grabbing him by the arm. “Xairn, wake up. You’re having a bad dream. Wake up, baby. Wake up!”
At last he sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes wide open. His entire body was tense and he was panting as though he’d just run a marathon. “Gods…” He shook his head and Lauren was both astonished and worried to see that he was crying—something she’d never seen him do before.
“Xairn? Baby?” Tentatively she touched his arm and he grabbed her hand and held on like a drowning man reaches for a life preserver.
“I saw her.” He shook his head, the tears still pouring down his cheeks. “I thought she was dead but he has her. I saw her.”
“Saw who, baby? Who?” Lauren rubbed his back, trying to calm him down. Despite everything they’d been through together, she’d never seen Xairn this upset before—he was absolutely distraught.
“He has her locked in a cage.” Xairn covered his face with his other hand, his broad shoulders hunched in misery. “In a fucking cage. The Gods alone know what he’s done to her. What he’s doing right now.”
“Honey, please, you have to work with me here.” Lauren stroked his trembling shoulders and then pulled him close, pillowing his head on her breasts. “Tell me who you’re talking about. Who did you see?”
“My mother.” Xairn pulled away from her, his eyes wild and desolate. “All these years he let me think she was dead. He taunted me with visions of her—showed me how he’d taken me from her when I was still a baby. He showed me the tears in her eyes, the way she reached for me, begged to hold me just one more time. I…” He took a deep, hitching breath and shook his head. “I thought, ‘Well, at least she’s gone and he can’t hurt her anymore. At least she’s beyond his reach.’” He looked at Lauren. “But she’s not. She’s still alive and he is still tormenting her. All these years, I never knew…”
“Oh honey, that’s terrible.” Lauren stroked his hair. “What a terrible dream! I’m so sorry.”
Xairn shook his head grimly. “It was no dream. He has her and if I don’t hurry it will be too late to save her.”
“What?” Lauren had a cold, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “You can’t be serious—you’re going to go back up there? To the Fathership?”
Xairn nodded. “I have no choice.”
“It’s a trap,” she told him. “You know it is, Xairn. A trap to draw us out.”
“Which is why you’re not coming with me.” He was already out of bed and dressing. Lauren couldn’t help noticing that he was ignoring all the human clothes her mother had bought him and pulling on his old black leather flight pants instead.
“But—”
“He wants you, Lauren.” Xairn pointed a finger at her. “He thinks I’ll come back to his side and reveal your location if he uses my…her for bait. Maybe he even hopes I’ll bring you back with me. But that is not going to happen. You’re staying here, safe with Little One while I go take care of this matter.”
“Stay here while you walk into danger? I don’t think so!” Lauren frowned indignantly. “I’m coming with you.”
Xairn shook his head. “That is exactly what he wants. Don’t you see? The girls who have been taken—”
“Girls? As in more than one?”
He nodded rapidly. “Yes, I saw on the flatscreen that another was taken recently and she had hair just like yours. I didn’t want to say anything but those girls both had something that made them similar to you. He’s trying to find you and I can’t let him. I have to save my mother and stop him once and for all.”
“But you’ll be killed!” Lauren protested. “There are hundreds of those horrible vat-grown Frankenstein things up there. Not to mention the fact that your father has all those weird powers—”
“Like the power to get inside a person’s head and read their thoughts? The power to make someone do as he tells them, whether they want to or not?” Xairn said quietly.
“I…yes,” Lauren said in a small voice. “Xairn—”
“I have those abilities now, too,” he reminded her gently. “And they’re growing. I’m not sure but I think being close to you is making them grow. Our lovemaking has caused my power to expand somehow.”
“But baby, your father has had them for years. He knows how to use them. He—”
“I’m going,” he cut her off. Then his voice dropped to a more gentle register. “Lauren, please, try to understand—she’s my mother. I have to save her. You love your own mother very much—you know you’d do the same for her.”
When he put it that way, Lauren knew she had to let him go. But still, she couldn’t help the fear that filled her throat—like a wad of dry cotton that made it impossible to swallow.
“Please.” Xairn held out his hand. “Give me the ring, Lauren. The ship won’t work without it.”
She fingered the slim, silver O-ring which had come to mean so much to her. It said he loved her, that he would stay with her and try to work things out. And we did work things out! We finally found a way to stay together! And now he’s asking for it back—leaving. Oh, it’s not fair. Please, God, so not fair…
“I know it’s not fair.” Xairn drew her suddenly into a desperately tight hug. Holding her close, he pressed his face to her hair and inhaled, as though he wanted to take her scent with him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I love you but I have to go.”
Lauren felt the tears coming but she struggled to hold them back. He was determined to do this and there nothing she could say would stop him. At least she could be as brave as he was about it. “All right,” she said, trying to keep her voice from trembling. “But…but don’t go alone.”
Xairn pulled back and looked at her, frowning. “And who exactly am I supposed to take with me? I told you, Lauren, I won’t let you put yourself in danger by coming.”
“Not me.” She sniffed. “You’re right—I wouldn’t be much use to you in a fight. But what about Deep and Lock or some of the other Kindred? You helped them when we all escaped from your home world. Don’t they owe you one?”
“Owe me one?” He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. We fought on the same side on my home world because we had no choice. But the Scourge and the Kindred are enemies. I can’t ask them to help.”
“Then I will.�
� Lauren struggled out of his embrace and began getting dressed herself. “I’m going down to the HKR building right now to place a call to the Mother ship. I can’t let you go up there without backup. I don’t care what you say—they owe you some help. And they strike me as the kind of people who always pay their debts.”
Xairn frowned and then sighed. “All right. I don’t expect anything will come of it but I’ll wait a little while if it will make you feel better. Tell them I’ll be in orbit around the dark side of the moon. But if they don’t come soon, I’m going in alone.”
“Don’t do that, please! I’m sure I can convince them.” Lauren pulled on her clothes hastily and stuffed her feet into a pair of shoes. “Please, baby.”
“I told you I’d wait a little while.” He held out his hand again. “The ring?”
Fighting back tears, Lauren worked the silver O-ring off her finger and placed it in the center of his broad palm. Then she lost the battle with her emotions. Throwing herself against his chest, she locked her arms around his neck and sobbed.
“I love you, Xairn. Please be careful. Please come back to me—swear you will.”
He held her tight and she felt his big form tremble and knew he was crying too. “I will,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with sorrow. “I swear it, Lauren, I will come back to you. I will.”
Thirty-Five
“So he’s going up there alone unless someone will help him.” Lauren’s voice was choked with sobs and from what she could see on the viewscreen, it looked to Kat like she’d gotten dressed in the dark. Her blouse was inside out and her hair was wild. But that was to be expected when your man went off on a suicide mission, she supposed.
“Oh Lauren,” she said, wishing the other girl was up on the Mother ship so she could put her arms around her and comfort her. “I’m so sorry.”
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 160