“Do you actually think I’m getting in that elevator with you?”
His thick brows shot up.
Cat stared at him in awe. Did he think she was dense? Clueless? Or too reluctant to rock the boat?
Oh, she was going to rock it, all right. And he was going to need a life jacket to keep himself afloat.
Chapter Ten
“Cat, please get in the elevator.” Preston held out his other hand to her. It was like encouraging a feral cat toward some food. One about to bite his hand off with her fangs.
“No way.”
“Cat, please,” he whispered. That gossipy administrative assistant was right around the corner. If she caught wind of their heated words, it would be all over the building by quitting time. He shot a glance down the hall, where two associates chatted as they walked toward the elevator.
“Please get in so we can talk about this.”
“I’m not talking to you in a place where there’s no escape.”
At that moment, Rebecca walked toward them to use the water cooler, which was across from the elevator. She was thirsty, all right. For gossip.
Reluctantly, Cat got in. As soon as the doors snapped shut he punched the stop button. “Okay, let’s talk.”
She stood against the far wall, as far away from him as possible, seeming to choose her words carefully. “How could my brother have picked such a dishonorable man for his best friend?”
That one word froze his blood. Because no matter what bad traits he had, being dishonorable wasn’t one of them. He’d led his life with honor, served with honor. Pushed her away for her own sake. Made a stupid attempt to do so now with Lacey because after yesterday, Cat was getting too close to wearing down his defenses. And if he allowed that, it would be a disaster for both of them.
“Lacey’s not my girlfriend.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She never was.”
“You’re insane.” Her lip was quivering. “W-why did you just do that—kiss her? I’m done playing games, Preston. I want the truth. All of it.”
Oh God. He’d made a royal mess of things. He’d seen Lacey and had the sudden, stupid idea that he could use her to push Cat away. Prevent her from working her way even further into his system.
Guilt ripped through him. How could he tell her the truth? That the leg injury was nothing, nothing compared to what had happened to him on the inside. And he wasn’t going to let her anywhere near that.
He was ashamed at what he’d done. He kept hurting her because of his inability to stay away from her. He kept falling under her spell. In his house the other night, when he kissed her. In Charlotte, when they’d talked and laughed and had such a great day together. He had to let her know that anything between them could never be. Then get the hell away from her before he betrayed himself again.
Cat’s eyes were watery. “After you were hurt, I thought you were going to die,” she said. “You’d been in shock, transfused. I prayed, I begged God you’d make it back to the States.” She paused. “I was too stupid to see the signs that you were about to dump me. I can handle that you don’t want me. But why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”
Misery swamped him. He didn’t want to be like that bastard she’d almost married. Make her feel unwanted and unloved when she was the sweetest, sexiest woman he’d ever known. Yet he couldn’t tell her the truth. He couldn’t. But he had to say something.
“After my injury, I couldn’t tell you that I wanted to go back to being friends. And I didn’t want your pity. You know as well as I do you never would have abandoned me in the condition I was in. It would have made it impossible for me to tell you my—change of heart.”
“You’re saying you wanted to call it quits before you injured your knee, but then the injury made it impossible for you to tell me that?”
“Come on, Cat. We all know how loyal you are. I tried to be the kind of guy who could settle down with just one woman but I—couldn’t. People can’t change their basic makeup. I’m sorry.”
Awkwardly, he did the only thing he could think of, he tried to put his arm on her shoulder, but she swiped it away. In the process, her purse tumbled off her arm, lipsticks and pens and loose change scattering everywhere. She ignored the mess, pushing a button on the control panel that made the elevator start to descend.
“We had a great day in Charlotte,” Preston said. “I hope we’ll always be friends. I—I did that dumb thing with Lacey to show you that we can never be more than that, Cat. I’m sorry.”
“Whatever, Preston. When I knew you before, I trusted you, but now I don’t know who you are. Because you’re not really a friend if you ghost out on someone without explanation, and you sure as hell are not a friend if you lie.”
She punched the open door button rapid-fire until the door finally released. Without a backward glance or stopping to pick up any of her things, she ran out of the elevator.
“Cat, wait.” She didn’t heed his calls. He thought about limping after her, but what comfort could he offer her after he’d just dropped that bombshell? Groups of people in the lobby stared at him. One woman watched Cat run for the door and cast him a judgmental glance as he stood in the elevator. He felt shell-shocked. His limbs wouldn’t move. He had the feeling that he’d cut off the only thing in his life that truly mattered, and he’d done it willingly, fool that he was.
Somehow, he managed to push the second-floor button and mercifully, the door snapped shut. He managed to pick up most of Cat’s stuff by pushing his bad leg over to the side and bending his good knee, but it was a real struggle to right himself. He walked out of the elevator dragging her purse and his pride, and made it past Rebecca’s desk, which was mercifully empty, into the office where they’d been letting him work. He collapsed behind the desk, releasing a painful breath. His whole chest hurt. Hell, his entire body ached. He’d fucked this up for good. Which was what he wanted, right? He didn’t want her in his life. He would only ruin her sweetness, her optimism. It couldn’t be. He dragged his fingers through his hair and held his head in his hands.
“I’m glad you’re finally showing what you feel for that woman.”
He jerked his head up to find Lacey sitting on a couch across the room.
“What the hell are you still doing here?”
“Go ahead, fire me, but I’m not leaving until you hear from me just what an a-hole you are.”
He winced at her words, because they were true. “Go to hell.”
She stood and walked up to the desk. The woman may have had soft curves in all the right places but on the inside, she was all spikes and nails. “You’re a fool, Preston. Cat still loves you. I can see that you care about her, too.”
“Who died and made you a psychiatrist?”
“You don’t need to be a psychiatrist to know that, only a human being. But for you, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch.”
He didn’t know how to do love, because he’d never had it. But that didn’t mean he didn’t still crave it like a junkie, with every fiber of his being. It was better for him not to have it. He would only destroy it, and he’d never forgive himself if he took her down with him.
“Preston! You’re being an idiot.”
He blew out a big breath. “You’re right about that, Lace. You are right about that. On top of everything else, Cat and I are supposed to be pretend-dating this week and I really screwed that up, too.”
He looked up at her, his best employee. He’d hired her years ago when she’d tried to pick him up in a bar when she was only seventeen and had been desperate to get off the streets. Last December, she’d gotten her BS in finance, and he was preparing to promote her to a company position more tailored to her new skill set. If he didn’t kill her first.
“I have time to listen,” she said gently. “If you don’t fire me, that is.”
“I’d love to fire you, but you know too damn much about me.”
A knock sounded on the open door. Preston looked up to see Brady Cosgrove standing there with a half g
rin on his face.
How much had he heard?
“Hey, I wanted to tell you the Kingston family has invited me to dinner tonight, and Mr. K. told me to tell you that you’re invited, too.”
Great. Just what he wanted to do.
“He told me you’re dating Cat, but…did I just hear right? You’re not really dating her?”
Fuck. And he’d thought his day couldn’t circle the bowl any lower. “We’ve been friends for a long time. She—needed a date for the wedding, after she suffered a broken engagement last summer. So I’m just filling in for her. To—save her the embarrassment.” God, he needed a drink. How did he just make that shit up? Oh, he didn’t. Because that much was mostly true.
“Great. Because I think she’s amazing. You wouldn’t mind then if I got to know her a little better?”
Lacey shot Preston a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding look.
“That would be up to Catherine,” he said. “You’ll have to excuse me, Brady. I’ve got urgent business.” He turned to Lacey. “I need you to drive me somewhere.”
Lacey crossed her arms and raised one perfectly arched brow. “Does this mean I’m not fired?”
…
Cat ran out to her car, sucking in big gulps of fresh air. She dropped her forehead onto the glass of the driver’s window, hoping its coolness would seep into her brain and calm her down. But it was already burning hot from the cheery spring sunshine that surrounded her like a suffocating blanket. She realized too late what a stupid idea it had been to leave the contents of her upset purse, since she’d just basically thrown away her car keys.
She heard a strong male voice behind her.
“Forget your keys?”
Cat swiped at her wet cheeks. She whirled around, expecting Preston but finding Brady instead. He wore a kind look on his face.
Something made her tell him the truth. “To be honest, I was upset and my purse spilled, and I ran out without bothering to pick anything up.”
He grinned. He had nice eyes, kind of warm and twinkly. “Look, you don’t have to explain anything to me. Can I give you a ride somewhere?”
She wanted nothing more than to escape before someone like her dad came barreling out and saw her in this state. “I’d appreciate that a lot.”
He walked her over to a black Mercedes SUV and helped her in.
Cat tried to focus on the rich leather smell of the interior, its spotlessness, and the abundant cool air blowing in as he cranked up the AC. But Preston’s words kept running through her head. I wanted to go back to being friends. And I didn’t want your pity.
It proved what he’d tried to tell her all along, that he didn’t have a clue about being in a real relationship or about accepting help when he was vulnerable.
She realized Brady was talking to her. “Oh, sorry. Turn here.” Morning Glory Lane wasn’t far from downtown Buckleberry Bend with its rows of art galleries and antique shops, the pancake house and the coffee shop, and the grassy park with its statue of the first mayor, General Krandall Pervis Pritchett. Today nothing seemed quaint. Everything felt stifling. She longed to be alone on the grassy island a short kayak ride from her parents’ backyard, where it always seemed she could row out to and be alone and escape life for a while.
Sadly, she was no longer a lonesome teenager with braces and thick glasses, paddling out with a book to spend the day with to forget her troubles.
Love required believing you are worthy of being loved. No matter how much she cared for Preston, if he wasn’t able to love himself, forgive himself, share what he was going through with her, his pride would always stand in their way.
Brady glanced at her from the driver’s seat. “I’m really looking forward to dinner at your house tonight.”
She smiled at him before opening the door to get out. He’d been kind to her, and it wasn’t his fault things were so messed up. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you later.”
He held her back with his words. “Look, Cat, I know you’re not really dating Preston.”
She turned slowly to face him. “How do you know that?”
“I overheard Preston talking to his PA. I want to say that whatever it is you’re going through, if you need to bend someone’s ear, you can always bend mine.”
Cat thought about that, and realized she probably did have a shortage of people who were patient enough to listen. There was no way she would dump her problems on Maddie now just before the wedding. Her practical older sister, Liz, was recovering from her own divorce and would have no tolerance for such nonsense. And Finn was sick of her mooning over Preston a long time more than what was sensible.
“Thanks, Brady. And thanks for the ride.” It had been a long time since someone was simply—kind to her. Brady had seen she was distressed and didn’t ask questions, yet he seemed caring.
So unlike Preston. Too bad Brady was not the one she wanted.
Chapter Eleven
Cat showered and dressed in a sleeveless blouse, ankle pants, and cute sandals. She put on a pair of silver dangly earrings and straightened her hair. She had no idea how she was going to tolerate pretending to show Preston affection in front of her family, but she was not going to let him—or anyone—know how upset she was. She could cry into her pillow later, but for now, she was going to act like the happiest woman in the world if that’s what it took to keep the peace in the final days before Maddie’s wedding.
All she had to do was survive this dinner and tomorrow’s planned afternoon at the lake before Saturday’s wedding. Then they would all disband, and she’d only have to see him at occasional family events, probably involving Maddie and Nick’s or Derrick and his wife Jenna’s kids. Even thinking of seeing him in the future, with other women, or one day with someone he loved, a wife and children, sent sword slashes into her heart.
Cat met her mother in the kitchen as she was preparing marinade for chicken shish kebabs. Liz sat at the island, chopping vegetables. She looked really pretty, wearing a black sleeveless dress with gold hoops that looked elegant against her straight shoulder-length black hair. Grandmeel sat, too, slicing fruit for fruit salad.
“Where’s Samuel tonight?” Cat asked her. Grandmeel was dating her long-lost love, Nick’s grandpa, who worked doing shoe design at the company with Maddie, and it had done wonders in taking a bit of the edge off her personality. She wished for that reason he could be here with them tonight. Left to her own devices, God only knew what Grandmeel would say.
“He had to meet with a client, so he stayed behind so Maddie could come,” Amelia said. “He may show up later.”
“Oh, hello, Cat.” Her mom whizzed by and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she pulled a bowl of marinated chicken out of the fridge. “Could you help me skewer these kebabs? I want to have them all ready to go on the grill.”
Cat washed her hands. As she sat down next to Liz at a stool around the large island, she gave her a little nudge in the ribs. “With all the wedding commotion, I’ve barely talked to you lately.” Not for the first time, she wondered how her sister was handling Maddie’s newfound happiness. She was sure Liz was happy for Maddie, like they all were, but going through all the wedding preparations had to remind her of her own wedding three years ago and her crushing divorce after just a year.
“The news of the day,” Grandmeel said, “is that Maddie doesn’t care to wear my beautiful veil. Catherine, perhaps you’ll wear it one day.”
Uh-oh. She focused on skewering tomatoes and peppers and chicken onto the kebab sticks. “Um, maybe, Grandmeel. But don’t count on that anytime soon. I mean, after last year and all…” She felt a sudden solidarity with her oldest sister. With her failed engagement and Liz’s failed marriage, they had reason to team together to avoid The Veil.
“Don’t remind us, dear,” Grandmeel said. “Lord, it kills me to think of all that fine crystal and china we had to return.” Grandmeel paused in her slicing long enough to emit a heavy sigh. “Perhaps it was for the better. I never liked the mathematician.�
�
“An actuary,” Liz said. “He calculated insurance risks.”
“Lord have mercy, that makes me yawn just thinking about what the hell kind of job that possibly could be.”
“Don’t worry, Grandmeel,” Liz said, tossing an evil big-sister wink at Cat. “Preston Guthrie’s back in town helping Dad find a new CEO. He and Cat have rekindled their romance. He’s a nice guy with a great job, right?”
Cat shot her sister a look, but Liz just quirked a corner of her mouth. Now was not the time to put her in a spot with Grandmeel, as Liz was so fond of doing.
Grandmeel set down her knife and addressed Cat. “About Preston Guthrie. I want to see you happy with a good man who treats you like a queen and who hails from good stock. Is that so much to ask? How can a man from his sordid background possibly know how to treat a woman or be a good husband? Honestly, Catherine, you must see how something like that could never work.”
Oh, this was too much. Her emotions were too ragged and raw. She was going to start bawling again for sure. She grabbed the onions from Liz and started chopping just in case.
Cat’s mom spoke. “Your dad and I were excited to hear that you and Preston have mended your fences. Weddings do that. They bring people together.” It was getting really hard to focus when lies were building upon lies, and guilt was creeping in. “Besides, I like Preston,” her mother continued. “He’s a high-quality man, always has been. He’s a West Point grad, a successful businessman, and a war hero, Amelia. Not to mention a nice guy. I don’t hold his background against him at all.”
“You can’t change people,” Grandmeel said. “They can’t overcome their backgrounds. If you’re raised in an atmosphere of abuse, you abuse, if for no other reason than you don’t know any differently.”
“That’s not true,” Cat said in a soft voice. “Some people would do anything to overcome their backgrounds.” She wondered if that included pushing away people they cared about.
A Man of Honor Page 10