by Elin Wyn
“It’s not intel between family members,” Daxion smirked. “Jeneva shares her concerns with Amira. Amira shares her concerns with me. I pass on my concerns to you. That’s how it works.”
“Why wouldn’t Jeneva talk to me directly?” I wondered.
“She’s likely trying to spare your feelings,” Tu’ver said. “She knows you’re only doing what you think is best and she knows you do it out of love. I doubt she’d want to reprimand you for acting out of love.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” I asked quietly.
“Ask her,” Sakev laughed. “She’ll be able to tell you what she needs way better than we can.”
“Yeah, don’t listen to us,” Axtin joined in. “We’re all morons according to you.”
“I still stand by that, but I’m glad you morons are also my friends.”
“That was almost quite touching,” Axtin smirked. “Now that we’ve got this out of the way, can we please enjoy the food and drinks?”
“By all means.” I gestured for them to dig into the feast that had arrived during our talk. I allowed myself to join in, as well. If Jeneva needed me, she’d let me know.
And I’d be there for her.
Thirteen
Vrehx
I had to admit that it hurt much more than I had anticipated.
I should have anticipated something like that from Renna, and it honestly didn’t hurt that she had taken it into her own mind to send me away as often as she had. At least when I returned, I saw that she really did use the herbs and things she sent me to find.
Where the pain came from was that Jeneva had gone along with it.
I didn’t know what I could have done wrong. It had always been my impression, based on what I’d researched and discovered from people’s advice, that the pregnant woman wanted the man to be more attentive and partial to their needs when pregnant.
So I didn’t understand what I had done wrong, and to hear from Dax and Axtin, the two Valorni behemoths that were my teammates, that they heard from Amira that Jeneva had gone along with Renna’s little errands for me hurt. According to Amira, she had even orchestrated some of my little runs into the forest.
I had no idea that I had been so much of a problem for her. I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do, and that had apparently been a bad thing.
As I walked up the walkway to the home we shared, I contemplated turning around and going to the barracks for the night. Since Renna lived with us now, and Amira was there all the time, I would just be in the way.
I stopped myself from stepping on the step up to the little porch we had and let my foot hover in the air for a moment. Then I turned around and walked away from the house, but, as I reached the end of the walkway and set foot on the sidewalk, I stopped again.
“Koso,” I cursed to myself. “Rekking koso.” I turned myself around again and walked back up the walkway. I took the four steps up onto the porch two at a time and found myself at the front door to our home in a few quick steps. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the door handle.
I opened the door and walked in, to find the women watching a movie and eating something they called ‘popcorn.’ It was only good when smothered in butter or caramel, but even then it was annoying. The koso kernels always stuck between my teeth and aggravated my gums.
“Hey, baby,” Jeneva greeted me from her spot on the couch, her smile as mesmerizing as it had always been. “How was the night out with the boys?”
“Enlightening,” I answered, a little more venom in my voice than I had intended to have. Amira and Renna each shot me a look, then glanced at one another. “Can I speak to you in private?” I asked.
“Um, okay,” Jeneva said slowly. I walked over and extended my hand to help her to her feet, hoping that I wasn’t being too much of a bothersome help to her by doing so. She accepted my hand and I gently pulled her to her feet. “Everything okay?” she asked.
“No.” I walked away, heading for the office, which we had converted into a temporary bedroom for us so she wouldn’t have to walk up and down the stairs so much. I opened the door and waited for her to walk into the room before following her in and closing the door behind me.
“What’s the matter, baby?” she asked me as she stood in front of the bed.
“Are you happy with me?”
She looked at me as though I’d asked something stupid. “Of course I am. What brought that question up?”
“Am I doing good for you?” I asked, ignoring her own question. “Am I helping?”
“Yeah. Again, why are you asking?” She leaned back, extending her arm to catch the bed as she tried to sit down. Instinctively, I walked over to her and helped her sit. “Thank you,” she said quietly.
“Are you sure that was okay for me to do?” I asked as I straightened and walked back to the wall opposite the door.
“Okay,” she said with a shake of her head as she shifted position on the bed. “What the hell is going on? You’re not acting like yourself.”
I shrugged in anger. “Apparently, acting like myself has you and your grandmother looking for excuses to kick me out of the house and get me away from you.”
She finally understood, and the expression on her face changed from almost-angered confusion to apologetic. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“Why am I sorry or why did I kick you out?” she asked.
“The second one.” I was not happy.
“Vrehx, I love you with all my heart. I honestly do, and I wouldn’t change our lives together,” she started.
“Obviously there is something you would change, isn’t there?”
She nodded with a sigh. “Okay, maybe a little something. I’m not incapable, you know.”
“I know that.”
“Then why won’t you let me do anything around the house?” she shot back at me.
I was confused. “I thought I was being helpful and understanding. I thought I was doing a good thing.”
“And you are,” she said. “But I can’t sit on my ass all day doing nothing. I can still do things. I can still bring groceries in the house. I can still cook, clean, pick stuff up, and carry a few things.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” she asked. “You barely let me do any of those things!” In my mind, her words were coming out angry and accusatory, but in my ears, they were merely sad and upset. And filled with love. “Vrehx, I love you with all my heart, my body, and everything that makes me, me. I truly do. But, while it’s cute, your over attention can get to be a bit annoying and makes it hard for me to feel like a capable person.”
I opened my mouth, then shut it. I had thought I was supposed to care for her, but now I realized that my care had become the care of someone caring for another that they felt was useless and totally unable to do anything.
“So,” I started. I sat down on the bed next to her. She reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it affectionately. “All of the stuff I’ve been doing has been, wrong?”
“No,” she said with a shake of the head. “Most of it is amazing, cute, endearing, and perfect. It’s just that,” she reached over and gave me a peck on the cheek, “every once in a while, you go too far and make me feel useless. You get a little too intense and smothering. Do you realize that you call me five times an hour to check on me while you’re at work?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Bet?”
“I worry about you and…” I ended the sentence with my hand on her protruding belly.
“I know you do. Thank you,” she said, putting her hand on mine. “Oh, feel that?”
I nodded joyfully as I felt our little boy kick at my hand not once, but twice in quick succession. “He’s a strong little one.”
“No shit,” she chuckled. “Look, I know I’ve said this twice already, but here’s a third time. I love you with all my heart. You just need to let me do something, okay?”
I nodded. “How about we make sure to tell one another if
we’re getting out of line, that way we don’t hear it from outside sources?” I asked.
“Deal. Now, give me a kiss,” she said playfully as she grabbed me and pulled me close.
I obliged her and kissed her like I had been missing her all day, which I had.
Fourteen
Jeneva
I opened my eyes to see the bedroom covered in shadows.
Turning toward the window, I yawned as I saw that it was still dark outside. Vrehx was fast asleep beside me, and I thought of cuddling up to him and drifting off to sleep again. My bladder was killing me, though.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I padded toward the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The tiles felt cool against the soles of my feet, and I wiggled my toes as I enjoyed the fresh feeling. The days had been growing warmer for weeks now, and the nights were following suit. Still half-asleep, I took one step toward the toilet when I heard a popping sound come from inside me. I froze in my tracks, not knowing what to make of it.
“Oh, crap,” I muttered, a gush of warm liquid making its way down my legs. I looked down at my feet, my skin glistening from my own fluids, and blinked as I tried to process what was happening. There was a moment of relief, that pressure I usually felt inside me vanishing, but then pain radiated from my belly. I doubled over, gritting my teeth while I sucked in a deep breath.
It’s happening, I thought, it’s happening!
Turning around, I grabbed the door handle and yanked it back. “Vrehx,” I cried out, and he stirred in his sleep. “Wake up!” I insisted, and he finally sat up in the bed, raking one hand over his face.
“What’s going on?” he asked me, his voice dragging slightly. “Do you need some more cake?”
“No, I don’t need cake.” Damn the man. He was always so cocky about not needing sleep. About waking up instantly.
He wasn’t the one who had to wake his grumpy butt up.
Breathing out as slowly as I could, I did my best to remain calm and not snap at him. “It’s time, Vrehx.”
“Time for what?” Scratching his chin lazily, he checked the time on the holographic clock on his nightstand, and then threw me a confused look. “It’s still early. I don’t have to get up till six.”
“Get up from that bed right now,” I growled, my patience suddenly evaporating. “The baby’s coming!”
“What are you talking—?” There was a slight pause, and then his eyes became as wide as plates. “Oh, skrell!” He kicked the sheets back and jumped out of bed in the blink of an eye. He got dressed in less than ten seconds, and then grabbed the large bag with all the stuff I would need for the stay at the hospital from the closet. He was already heading out of the bedroom when I called after him.
“I have to get dressed,” I told him, shaking my head slightly. “Or do you want me to leave the house in my underwear?”
“Oh, skrell, right,” he muttered under his breath, and then spun around and went for the closet again. Grabbing a robe, he helped me get inside it and then circled my waist with one arm. He threw me a concerned glance as he helped me step out of the bedroom, and I somehow found it in me to smile at him.
“Is it happening?” a bleary-eyed Renna asked, poking her head out of the guest bedroom.
“Yeah,” I groaned. I was still making my way toward the front door when Renna left her bedroom, already fully dressed and with her hair tied in a bun. That was impressive to see.
“Go get the hovercraft,” she ordered Vrehx. “I’ll help her.”
Nodding, Vrehx rushed down the stairs and disappeared out of sight. By the time I got to the ground, the headlights of our hovercraft were already cutting through the night’s darkness. Renna helped me up, and I plopped myself down on the passenger’s seat with a groan.
“Hold tight,” Vrehx whispered, and, no more than a half-second later, he had the engine growling so loudly it seemed like the damn thing would explode. I looked out the window as we flew past the buildings, tall spires in a dark night, and sighed with relief as I saw the hospital complex in the distance. Renna held my hand gently, a happy smile on her face, but I no longer had it in me to smile back at anyone.
When Vrehx landed the hovercraft in front of the hospital’s emergency entrance, I was in so much pain that tears were streaming down my face. Renna had told me that some women could give birth without feeling too much pain, but it seemed like that wouldn’t be my case. Thankfully, the medical staff were already waiting by the entrance, and they swarmed into the hovercraft and moved me from the passenger seat into a wheelchair.
I let them wheel me through an endless maze of hospital corridors, that antiseptic smell suddenly making me feel nauseous. Vrehx trailed after me and, even though I couldn’t see him, I could hear his heavy footsteps. Renna, though, had been told by the hospital staff to take a seat in the waiting room. Only the dad would be allowed in.
“Deep breaths,” one of the nurses said, and I tried to turn my shallow breaths into deep ones. Not an easy task to perform while someone tries to kick its way out of your womb, but I made an effort all the same.
“Be brave,” Vrehx told me as the nurses pushed me into the delivery room. They helped me move from the wheelchair into the birthing bed, and I immediately placed my legs in the stirrups, the cold metal reminding me of my bathroom tile floor.
“I’m being brave,” I told Vrehx, but then I realized his words weren’t meant for me. No, he was talking to himself. He had a sickly pale complexion, and his lips were pursed so tightly they were turning white. Deep creases slashed across his forehead, his worry and anxiety visible on his skin, and I found myself smiling. “It’s going to be fine,” I told him, reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Yes…” he muttered. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Move back, please,” the doctor told Vrehx as she waltzed into the room. She gave me a reassuring smile, and then had me spread my legs. With Vrehx standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders, I closed my eyes and readied myself for the inevitable. The doctor’s voice became nothing but a barely noticeable whisper in the back of my mind, but I still did my best to follow her commands.
I pushed when she told me to push, and I breathed in on command. The pain was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Every time a contraction came, my lower back seized up, my muscles twisting into knots so tight I thought they would tear. It felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly, and that someone was yanking on my insides, squeezing them hard enough to turn them into mush.
There was nothing I could do but surrender and accept the pain.
Somehow, that helped.
“Are you okay?” the doctor asked, but, before I could reply, I heard Vrehx’s voice coming from behind me.
“I’m fine,” he said, but his voice betrayed how he was truly feeling.
“I’m the one giving birth here,” I growled, holding his hand so tightly I could hear his bones popping. Arching my back, I clenched my jaw and tried to endure the pain as best as I could. I was covered in sweat, locks of hair plastered to my forehead, and the gown the hospital staff had me wearing was sticking to my skin.
Suddenly, the pain stopped.
“And here he is,” I heard the doctor say, but her voice seemed like it was coming at me from the end of a tunnel. I opened my eyes, dazed and confused, to see her holding a tiny little boy in her hands. My jaw grew slack as I looked at his tiny hands and feet, and I felt a sudden urge to yank him out of the doctor’s arms. His skin was a blend of my rosy tone and Vrehx’s deep red, but that didn’t matter at all. What mattered was that he looked healthy.
“Alright,” the doctor continued, suddenly turning my baby around and holding him by his ankles. Only then did I realize that she looked unsure. I resisted the urge to reach out and grab my child, and she smacked his butt with the palm of her hand. I smiled as I finally heard him cry out, his voice fierce, but he quieted down in a matter of seconds.
He opened his little eyes when the doctor gently placed him
in my arms, and I found myself mesmerized by his delicate presence. He blinked, his eyes on mine, and then looked over my shoulder at Vrehx. His eyes were a pale blue, and they seemed to be taking in everything that was happening around him.
“He’s...beautiful,” I heard Vrehx say, and the most perfect smile took over my lips.
I was in love.
Fifteen
Vrehx
“My son has been born.”
I repeated that single sentence over and over again as the medical team quickly cleaned my boy, checked him, weighed him, and finally brought him back to us. I kissed Jeneva on the head over and over again, telling her she did great, telling her she was beautiful.
“What about the baby?” she asked, her emotions coming through and making her voice shaky.
“He’s amazing. He’s beautiful, just like his mother,” I said.
I watched as he was brought back to his mother and it hit me, he was quiet. Skotan babies were loud, obnoxiously so. They hated the massive change of going from the warmth and comfort of being inside their mother to the cold, loud, and bright world we lived in.
That sudden change into this cold world, it would be enough to make anyone lose their minds and scream and cry. Well, anyone that was young and untrained.
Then I thought about something. Skotan pregnancies were so much shorter than human pregnancies. Jeneva made it just short of the nine months that the women told me human pregnancies went for. Why humans needed the extra time in a womb baffled me.
But not nearly as much as my own son baffled me at the moment. He was far too quiet. It was almost as if something were wrong with him, but Evie and the other doctors, nurses, interns, and medics all assured me that he was fine and in excellent health.
“Then why is he so quiet?” I asked.
Evie shrugged. “Some babies are like that. It’s not really that big of a deal.”
I wasn’t as confident as Evie was. There was something different about this boy. He looked at me as though he were judging me. I followed his eyes as he looked everywhere.