by Pride, Mia
“At first, it felt that way, for us both, I believe. But now, I truly do wish for this match. I ken we seem to argue often, but I believe we are both strong-willed, proud people who need to work on speaking before shouting. Ye are smart, witty, honest, and truly beautiful, Mary. I meant it when I said that to ye earlier. I will always treat ye and our child well.”
Our child. Those words did something strange to her insides. She felt knotted up and liquid at the same time. Her child would never know his true father and that reality stole her breath with its searing pain. But he could have a father, a good man who would treat him with respect and love him as his own. That was more than Mary could ever hope for in this world.
“Thank ye.” The words sounded strangled as her throat constricted, tears welling up in her eyes.
Looking down, William wiped the tears that began to fall down her cheeks. “Dinnae cry, lass. All will be well.” His eyes scanned her face as he held her close to keep her warm. “May I be bold in my honesty?”
Her heart pounded and she struggled to breathe, unsure what he wanted to be honest about, but knowing it had to be said. “I value honesty above all else, Will. Always be honest.”
His hand, somehow remaining warm despite the cold surrounded them, touched the back of her neck and a shock ran up her nape. “I want to kiss ye, Mary. This time, without the mistletoe.”
His words flowed over her like a sweet caress. He truly wanted to kiss her and found her to be beautiful. And though she had to admit to herself that she found him particularly handsome and had secretly enjoyed their previous kisses, she was not certain she was ready to accept these things as truths just yet. Alex was gone. Life moved on. Why did it feel like she was betraying him to feel lust or attraction? Marrying William for convenience was survival and naught more. Kissing him under a mistletoe because it was good fortune and tradition was acceptable enough of a reason. But wanting to kiss him simply for pleasure somehow made her feel like she was betraying a man who no longer lived.
“I…” She closed her mouth and looked down, embarrassed that she was rejecting him after he had been so kind.
“Ye arenae ready.” His voice was calm and even, no accusation or hurt in his tone.
“I am sorry, William. Please understand that it isnae ye. Since we are being honest, I will say that I do wish to kiss ye, and I do find ye to be… pleasing to the eyes. I just need time. Can ye give that to me?”
His hands slowly slid down her neck and arms, taking her fingers in his. “Of course, lass. Besides, with this split lip, I dinnae think I could give ye much of a true kiss anyway.” He smiled and she giggled at his crooked grin, one side of his bottom lip swollen much larger than the rest.
“Aye, I had wondered about that. It appears painful,” She reached up to touch it and he winced but did not pull away.
“’Tis nothing I didnae deserve. I vow from this moment forward, I will earn more kisses and less split lips.” He gave a crooked smile again and she chuckled.
“I dinnae ever wish to learn what ye said to earn it, but I do hope ye didnae mean it.”
“I didnae, Mary.” Lifting her hand to his mouth, he gently did his best to kiss it, and she smirked at his inability to pucker his lips fully. “I suppose ’tis best ye didnae want that kiss, after all.”
Taking his hand in hers, she shook her head and kissed his cheek. “I said I wasnae ready. I never said I didnae want it.”
His face grew serious and his eyes locked on to hers, making her melt all over. Even with a swollen lip, he was one of the most handsome men she had ever known. He affected her in a way she could not deny much longer if he continued to look at her with sultry eyes.
“When ye are ready for that kiss, all ye must do is take it, my lady, and I will gladly accept. Until then, shall I escort ye back to the hall? ’Tis growing colder by the moment and I am certain my sister shall be looking for us. The Yule feast will be beginning.
Nodding, she allowed William to link arms with her and walk her back to the festivities, the sounds of joy and laughter drifting to her ears the moment he opened the doors. All eyes landed on them as they stepped through the entrance, and she did not miss the scowl on Marjorie’s face when she saw Mary beside William, arm in arm.
She was not certain when this tournament was to be held, nor when her wedding was, for that matter. But until William announced his intentions to marry her, she knew they had to be careful. If Marjorie discovered their betrothal, she would have a tantrum and cause trouble for her clan, and that was something Mary could not allow.
Stepping away from him, Mary straightened her features and approached the head table, prepared to feast for the Yule and pretend she was not imagining her next kiss with Sir William.
Chapter Six
Fresh snow crunched beneath Mary’s feet as she walked down to the lists arm in arm with Elizabeth and Matilda. Though it was only a thin sheet and was already beginning to melt as the sun rose on the horizon, the frigid air nipped at her nose and ears. Pulling her arisaid closer to her body, Mary heard the crowd ahead and grew anxious when they rounded the corner. Hundreds of people from all the clans had turned up to watch the games.
“How did ye put this all together in so few days, Lizzie?” Mary inquired. Irvine banners proudly whipped in the wind all around the fences that had been set up and benches surrounded the field.
Smiling proudly, Lizzie shrugged and chuckled. “When I have the proper motivation, I can move mountains. And finding a husband for that lass so she leaves my brother alone is a motivation strong enough to make me raise the dead if needed.”
“I am verra glad ye dinnae raise the dead,” Matilda said wryly. “Tis only the fifth day of the Yule and already this tournament looks fit for the king. How many days shall it last?”
“We have one event planned per day for three days. Today we will see the participants promenade around the lists before the joust begins. An invitation was sent to every Irvine and Keith knight in attendance who was unwed, and Will’s messenger rode like the wind to invite others from Dunnottar. I was uncertain how many would sign up, but we had many men do so. I do believe having Will and Reg participating encouraged several others.”
The sound of William’s name made Mary’s heart flutter most unexpectedly. Aside from brief greetings and sharing a trencher at the feasts the last few nights, Mary and Will had kept their distance from one another. The desire to see him was stronger than expected, as was her discomfort about him in this tournament. The crowd was larger than expected and his honor, as well as the reputation of his people, was on the line. And he was going to lose intentionally for her sake. The thought made her feel queasy and the sudden need to seek him out before the tournament had her scanning the area for any sign of him among the participants, who all roamed within the list’s enclosure.
“Have ye seen Will, Lizzie?” she asked, trying to sound casual. But when her friend’s head snapped to the side and she raised her brow suspiciously, Mary flushed uncontrollably.
“I havenae. Why do ye ask, my fair maiden?”
Rolling her eyes, Mary rubbed her large bump through her blue damask gown with a slightly lower neckline than she usually wore. It tied just below her breasts so she could breathe freely, yet she felt like she would spill forth if she were not careful. “I am anything but a maiden, as everyone kens. I simply wished to speak with him before the event, ’tis all. The men are already armored and I dinnae ken where he is.”
As they approached the stands, Elizabeth reached up on her tiptoes and squinted into the mid-morning sunlight, seeking out any sign of her brother before smiling and pointing. “Just there! He is wearing his best armor with our motto and the roebuck etched into it.”
“What is the Keith motto, Lizzie? I never did ask.” Mary realized if she was to be the Lady of Dunnottar, she would need to know these details. Mary looked at William in the distance and wondered how she could gain his attention before the event started and she was forced to sit.
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“Veritas Vincit: Truth Conquers,” Elizabeth said. “I am pleased that ye are learning all about what it means to be a Keith, Mary. As for the Irvine motto, Flourishing both in sunshine and in shade, I am afraid I only flourish in the sun, which is why I must seek my husband to steal his warmth.” Elizabeth laughed and vigorously rubbed her hands together, blowing hot air onto them. “I see Robert at the verra top of the stands. I shall accompany him. When ye are done whispering sweet words of love to my brother, ye shall sit beside me.” Elizabeth winked and Mary rolled her eyes once more. Her friend was insufferable and overly excited about the match.
Matilda followed Elizabeth up to the top of the stands and Mary turned toward the lists, hoping William would see her and approach so she did not need to make a fool of herself. When he waved at her from the other side, she knew she was turning redder than a berry in the spring, but she gave him a discreet wave back, relieved when he left his horse with his squire for the day, the lad who usually was his messenger, and began to walk toward her.
“My fair lady,” William said when he raised his visor, a cheeky grin on his face that made her bite back a huge smile. “Ye look more radiant than the sun itself.”
“Ye sure are a chivalrous knight,” she replied. “I see yer lip has healed verra well.”
“Och, aye. I dare say I may even be able to pucker my lips once again.” William winked and she swore her cheeks must be redder than a rose. But somehow over the last few days, she had grown more accustomed to the idea of becoming this man’s wife, knowing she was finally ready to share a kiss with him once again. Seeing him in his armor, so large and strong, made her ache for his touch, a feeling that both frightened and excited her.
“Is that so?” she whispered, “Well then, I have something to say to ye, and something to give ye.” His brow rose and she opened the satchel at her side and dug out the favor she had wished to bring him, slowly handing it to him so nobody else would notice.
“Mistletoe?” In the light of day, his eyes were a light green bordering on yellow that made her think of the moss-covered rocks along the shores surrounding the river she used to play in as a child. They made her feel safe and comforted.
“Aye, well. I wished to give ye a favor, for good fortune, ye ken.”
“If I am so honored as to be able to kiss ye beneath it later, then I will be a fortunate man, indeed,” William said, and her heart felt like a drum pounding in her chest.
“I do believe that can be arranged, but only on one condition. I dinnae wish for ye to intentionally lose, William.”
“Oh? But, I dinnae understand. I cannae win this tournament, Mary. Ye ken that.”
“What I ken is that ye are the Laird of Dunnottar, a knight of Scotland, and Marischal to the king. Ye cannae appear weak to any potential enemy, and The Douglas is just that. Ye must honor yer clan and yer reputation. This tournament is for more than Marjorie. It is yer chance to show that Keiths are strong and not to be underestimated.”
William stared at her silently for a moment, and she wondered what he was thinking. Was he angry at her for putting him in this position? What would happen if he won the entire tournament? She was not certain, but she did know one thing. It had been wrong of Robert to force William into this tournament, knowing he was betrothed and expecting him to lose, potentially dishonoring his clan.
“I would kiss ye right now if I could, lass. Ye havenae any idea how much it means to me to hear ye say that. Ye truly will be a great Lady of Dunnottar.”
“Just be safe out there, William. And a kiss will be waiting for ye, win or lose, as long as ye dinnae give in.”
Nodding, William tucked the mistletoe beneath his breastplate and close to his heart, making Mary’s feel near to bursting. Her feelings for this man were frightening, but they were now undeniable.
As William nodded and slammed his visor shut, turning to join the rest of the knights in the lists, Mary watched him walk away as she made the scariest realization of her life, one she never expected to happen again in her lifetime.
She was in love with William Keith.
Surrounded by knights in gleaming armor, William touched his breastplate, cherishing the mistletoe that lay just beneath and the woman who gave it to him. Mary Hamilton was truly a special woman. They’d had little interaction during the last few days aside from shared meals. He had been busy helping set up the tournament, but in the evening, everyone came together for the festivities and he had enjoyed watching her smile and enjoy herself, finally showing who she truly was when she was not intentionally pushing him away. Somehow, he even enjoyed the idea of raising her child, even though he was not truly the father and hoped someday they would have their own.
Her words had shocked him. She understood what it meant to be a knight and a laird who had to protect his people and part of that was protecting his reputation. Once he showed weakness, he was vulnerable. Fortunately, Robert had pulled him aside the day before and shared the same sentiments, vowing he never expected William to intentionally lose. Robert also understood the games men had to play for power. He had had to appease The Douglas as the Laird of Drum, but he knew he could not ask the Laird of Dunnottar and his greatest ally to show weakness.
Not for the first time, William wished he had never entertained The Douglas and his daughter, but there was no time to focus on things he could not control. The trumpets blared, signaling the start of the tournament, and the crowd cheered. He saw Marjorie and her father sitting at the very top next to Robert and Elizabeth, but when he saw Mary, he touched his breastplate one more time and was pleased when she smiled in response. She stole his breath and he felt like a bloody fool. He was in battle armor and ready to fight, yet all he could think about was the promised kiss of his betrothed.
Feeling someone smack him on the back, William turned to see one of the Irvine knights with his visor raised and recognized him as Stephan. They had sparred once or twice in the past, but never truly talked. “I saw ye speaking with Mary. Ye fancy the lass?”
“Excuse me?” William shouted over the sound of the cheering. Had the man mentioned Mary? “What of the lady?”
“Lady?” Stephan scoffed and shook his head, “She is no lady. She was mine before she was Alexander’s, ye ken. The lass has more tricks than any good whore in Edinburgh, and her child is just as likely mine as it is his. Ye can have Miss Marjorie Douglas. Mary is mine. Ye had better stay away from her if ye ken what is good for ye.”
Stepping up close to Stephan, William looked the man in his brown eyes and calmly addressed him, though inside a rage burned deeper than any he had ever felt before. He wanted to snap the man in two for disrespecting Mary. “Listen to me verra carefully, Stephan. Ye should be careful who ye threaten and who ye insult. Ye dinnae ken what I am capable of and if ye werenae an Irvine, I would relieve yer neck of yer pock-riddled face here and now. One more word against Mary and ye are a dead man.”
He had to walk away. Stephan would be taken care of later. For now, William had to keep his head calm. Mayhap the man was threatened by him and simply trying to rattle him. It had not worked. He was as ready for this tournament as he was for any battle and nothing the man said about Mary would make him lose his focus. He did not believe anything Stephan said about Mary, and he found he did not care even if it was true. He knew who she truly was, and her past was not her future.
He loved her. The realization nearly knocked him on his arse. Looking up at her in the stands, the concern on her face told him what he needed to know. She was aware of Stephan’s desire to have her. Now, he truly wished to destroy the man. Had Stephan caused her trouble? She had not mentioned his name, nor had anyone. Mayhap he was making something of nothing, but his gut told him otherwise. The man wanted Mary, but he could not have her, and never had William wanted to run a man through more.
The crowd quieted as Robert stood with Archibald and announced the games, making a display of the grand prize, the young lass sitting beside Elizabeth batting her eyes an
d attempting to wave seductively. She was ridiculous, but William was certain most of these men did not care about her personality, so long as they married into a powerful family. As for William, he could not wait to be done with this tournament and share a few stolen moments with Mary.
The knights all lined up to promenade around the lists, waving and trotting with their finely decorated horses. It was all a show of wealth, power, and prowess, something William knew he had, yet was never eager to prove to others. He proved it to his king, his clan, and on the battlefield. But he had been forced to be here, so he decided to make the most of it and urged his horse forward, waving to the crowd as they hollered and cheered, ready for a good show.
Mary smiled and discreetly blew him a kiss as he passed, and his heart constricted painfully. She was a true sight to behold in her blue dress with a lower neckline than usual. He could see the tops of her creamy breasts and wondered what she would look like disrobed. The desire to lay his head on her bare abdomen and feel the child within her womb shocked him above anything else. He wanted to see all of her, love all of her, to prove to her he was the best man to care for her and the bairn and that she was beautiful and worth loving. Touching his heart, he saw her smile and blush just as he rode past her.
“Enjoy her attentions now, Sir William. She will be mine once I prove myself worthy.” Stephan clanked shoulders with him and rode off to the other side of the lists and William breathed deeply, refusing to allow himself to be distracted.
Why hadn’t Mary told him about this arse? Ignoring Stephan’s gloating, William positioned himself with the other knights awaiting their turn at the joust. Seeking out Reginald, William moved his horse beside Reginald’s and raised his visor. “Are ye going to win or lose?”