The Cowboy's Christmas Blessings

by Jill Kemerer

His simple statement blossomed in her heart like a prairie full of wildflowers in the spring.

  He wanted to be with her?

  She wanted to be with him, too.

  Not that this was romantic or anything. It wasn’t. Couldn’t be.

  “I’m glad,” she said. “If I feel like a chore, please don’t think you have to keep doing this.” A few years ago, she’d begged Aaron to come to the Christmas open house at the bakery. Delia had put three of Nicole’s gingerbread buildings into the front window showcase. Aaron had told her he’d be working late, and she’d gotten upset. It had taken her three days to work up the courage to tell him how much it would mean to her if he came. He arrived minutes before the store closed and barely looked at the gingerbread city scene she and Delia had worked so hard on.

  She’d been a chore that night.

  She never wanted to feel like one again.

  “You could never be a chore.” Judd shifted Amelia to his other arm and stared at Nicole with those deep blue eyes. Sincerity radiated from him. “I haven’t gotten married because I keep to myself. I don’t know what women want, and by the time they realize that, they’re fed up with me and leave.”

  “Maybe you haven’t found the right one.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m getting up there in years.” He shrugged. “You’re young. You have lots of time left.”

  “You’re not exactly a grandpa.” She attempted to laugh, but it fell flat. “I mean, you’re not even forty yet, are you?”

  “No.” He frowned. “But I’m set in my ways. Marriage isn’t for me.”

  Fair enough. He was warning her not to get too close. She’d told herself the same thing time and again, but...

  Her heart didn’t seem to be listening.

  She’d already had the heartbreak of a lifetime. Maybe Judd was doing her a favor.

  Either way, Nicole didn’t have much choice.

  * * *

  The following afternoon Judd paid a visit to the McCoy Ranch. Cash was repairing a section of wooden rail on a corral as Judd stomped through the snow.

  “You want some help with that?” Judd called.

  Cash grinned and waved him over. The air was cold and smelled like cattle, but it had stopped snowing this morning and there wasn’t any more snow in the forecast until next week.

  “Stupid steers ganged together and took out this fence. Have to round ’em up in a minute.”

  “You know where they are?” Judd grabbed the other end of a plank of wood and helped him carry it to the broken section. He held it in place while Cash screwed it to the post.

  “I have a pretty good idea.” Cash straightened and pointed to a herd of cattle in the distance. “The cows are all working on a line of feed. My guess is the steers busted out to join them.”

  Judd noted the deep grooves in the snow from where the tractor had driven. “How are you getting out there?”

  “I don’t want to risk my horses. I’ll take a UTV.”

  “Do you want some company? I can help.” Judd surveyed the corral. “You going to put some feed in their trough? They won’t give you any trouble if they have some food when they come back.”

  “Smart thinking.”

  A little while later, they’d located the five steers. Those boys knew they were in trouble and branched off from the cows automatically. Judd couldn’t help chuckling as they trotted back to their pen. They had the air of teenagers caught skipping school but high-fiving each other, knowing it had been worth it.

  Once Cash closed the gate behind the steers, he grinned. “Thanks. I appreciate the help. That was pretty easy.”

  “Looks like I was here at the right time.”

  “What’s on your mind, Judd?” Cash led the way back to a pole barn. Judd fell in beside him.

  “Your dad doesn’t ranch anymore, does he?”

  Cash opened the door and shook his head. Inside was marginally warmer than outdoors.

  “Just you and Chris running it, huh?” Judd asked.

  “Yeah, you could say that.” Cash grimaced. “Do you see Chris around, though?”

  “No.” Was it a trick question? He hadn’t seen any sign of Cash’s older brother.

  “Neither do I.” He grabbed a broom and swept up loose hay. “I’m fed up with him.”

  “Where is he?”

  Cash shrugged. “The bar. The bank. Laramie. Timbuktu. Who knows anymore?”

  “He’s not helping here?”

  “He used to.” Cash pushed the hay into the corner, turned back to face him and leaned on the handle of the broom. “We haven’t exactly been getting along.”

  “Is this new?” He hadn’t realized Cash was bearing the brunt of the ranch work.

  “Three years now.” Cash took off his gloves. “Why? Did you need to see him?”

  “No, but you’ve got me curious. How is this affecting the place?”

  “It’s fine.” Cash didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m holding it down fine.”

  “But it’s not only your responsibility.”

  “I know. I’m going to have to talk to my dad soon.” The bravado in Cash’s expression dissolved. Regret replaced it. “I want to take this ranch to the next level, but my hands are tied because of Chris. Something’s got to give.”

  Judd didn’t like the sound of that. “Would you walk away?”

  “Don’t want to. But I’m not going to work my fingers to the bone so Chris can fritter away our livelihood on booze and gambling, either.”

  “I don’t blame you.” He wished he had something to say that would help, but he didn’t know what would.

  Cash set the broom to the side. “I know you didn’t come here to talk about me and my problems. What can I help you with?”

  “If you can work it out with your brother, will you still want to ranch?” Judd asked.

  “This land, these cattle, it’s all I know. Ranching is in my blood.”

  It was the first time Judd could remember Cash being so transparent. He was usually the life of the party, flirting with the girls and making everyone laugh. Frankly, Judd liked this Cash much better than the one he presented to the public.

  “I hear you on that.” Judd nodded. It was all he knew, too. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Nah.” Cash grinned, and the transparency disappeared behind his fun-loving mask. “It’ll be fine. You caught me at a bad moment, that’s all.”

  Judd hesitated, wanting to help, to say something reassuring. But he didn’t know what. “Text me anytime you need an extra set of hands.”

  “Thanks. Same to you.”

  With that, Judd nodded and trudged back to his truck.

  It didn’t seem fair that Cash was stuck with all the work while his brother did whatever he wanted. And if Judd had to guess, they split the profits evenly. He’d probably be upset, too, if he had a brother who wasn’t pulling his weight.

  Maybe naming Cash in his will was an option Judd could consider at this point in his life. Cash might have a reputation with the ladies, but his ranching skills were never in question. As Judd grew older, he would need to think about passing the ranch down to someone younger, but for now, Cash was a solid choice.

  As he stepped up into his truck, a flurry of snowflakes came down. He hoped the meteorologist hadn’t been mistaken about the clear forecast. If more snow fell tonight, there was a good chance Christmas Fest would be canceled tomorrow.

  All week he’d been looking forward to taking Nicole to the festival. He started his truck and backed up to turn around. As he drove down the long driveway, he kept hearing Stu’s and Mason’s advice to get married and have kids.

  The other night when Nicole had asked him about marriage, he’d been up-front with her. Naturally, his words hadn’t come out right, and she’d taken them to mean he considered spending time with her a cho
re. A chore. He shook his head. She and those babies were the highlight of his day. He raced through his ranch duties to freshen up before he came over each night. And he was getting better at caring for the triplets while she squeezed those tiny lines of frosting onto the gingerbread walls.

  No, Nicole Taylor was no chore.

  He just hoped no one in town noticed his level-ten crush on her tomorrow. He could handle being embarrassed for his own sake, but he didn’t want anyone talking about her because of him. Christmas Fest could be great, or it could be a disaster. There was only one way to find out.

  Chapter Eight

  “Wow, I can’t believe how much bigger this is than I remembered.” Nicole strolled next to Judd in downtown Rendezvous the next day. Centennial Street had been blocked off with food trucks and various vendors lining it. Evergreen boughs and red ribbons were hung everywhere. Down the street, the large park had been converted into a winter wonderland with reindeer, Santa’s workshop and hot chocolate stands next to a skating rink.

  She was so ready for Christmas Fest.

  No babies. No worries. Just an afternoon to be like any other twentysomething woman for once.

  “I haven’t been here in years.” Judd took her elbow as a couple of teenagers almost ran into them. He pointed to a side street. “Rec center’s down this way.”

  “You really don’t mind checking out the bake sale?” She peeked at him, needing to see his reaction for herself. Aaron hadn’t enjoyed these types of events, and Nicole had never dated anyone else—not that this was a date—so she wasn’t sure if she was boring Judd or not.

  “Why would I mind?” His smile made his eyes dance. “It’s what Christmas Fest is all about.”

  For this not being a date, she’d spent far too much time putting on her makeup and curling her hair during the babies’ morning nap. Then she’d dug through her winter items to find the cute knit hat she’d purchased a few years ago. The one with a fluffy pom-pom on top. It had matching gloves, too.

  She still hadn’t lost the baby weight, so she’d squeezed into her stretchiest jeans and found a long sweater to cover any lumps. It was funny, though, that she didn’t feel self-conscious at all with Judd. She felt...excited. It was nice to get out of the house and have some fun without having to worry about the babies or the other things tangling her heart.

  “Nicole!” Waving furiously, Linda Mulroney headed in their direction. Linda was one of Mom’s good friends. The bubbly woman held her toddler grandson’s hand as she approached them. “Well, look at you out and about. How’s your mom? She hasn’t called me in a few days.”

  “I haven’t talked to her, either, but she seemed great the last time she called.” Which had been a few weeks ago, if Nicole’s memory served her correctly. She really should reach out to her mother soon.

  Linda gave Judd a sly glance then focused on Nicole again. “Have you two gone skating yet?”

  Nicole glanced up at Judd. “I’m not sure we’re going to.”

  “Well, when you have a babysitter, you shouldn’t waste a precious minute. That’s my motto, anyway.” Linda winked at her. “Want me to snap a picture of you two and send it to your mom?”

  “No!” Nicole didn’t mean to shout. Even Judd looked taken aback. “We’re actually on our way to the bake sale. See you later.”

  “Have fun, you two.” Linda wiggled her fingers in a wave.

  How mortifying. No doubt, Linda was texting Mom at this very moment with news that Nicole was on a date with Judd. A sick feeling landed in her tummy. What would people think? Most likely they’d assume she was like her mother. Except worse. Because Nicole should still be grieving and not having fun with Judd Wilson.

  She marched forward. Judd easily kept pace with her.

  Should she still be grieving? Hadn’t she cried enough? When would it be acceptable for her to move forward?

  “We don’t have to do this, you know.” Judd’s low voice startled her.

  “I want to.” And she did. She desperately wanted to enjoy this day. If Linda got the wrong impression, oh, well. Nicole couldn’t be a grieving widow forever. “Being here feels...” She raised her eyebrows. “Normal. And my life hasn’t felt normal in a long time.”

  The muscle in his cheek flickered, but he nodded. “Whatever you’d like to do, just say the word, and if it gets too much, I’ll take you home.”

  “I want to see if anyone’s bought my cupcakes.” She’d made three dozen in different flavors yesterday. Just thinking about them improved her mood.

  “You made cupcakes?” Their boots crunched on the salt sprinkled over the sidewalks. “When did you find time to do that?”

  “Yesterday morning. Jane Boyd comes on Fridays, and she practically pushes me out of the living room so she can take charge of the babies.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “Okay with it?” She laughed. The crisp air and faint sound of jingle bells added a spring to her step. “Are you kidding? I love it. It gives me time for myself without feeling guilty.”

  The rec center’s double doors were up ahead. A steady stream of people entered and exited. When it was their turn, Judd held the door open. Two boys raced under his arm outside. “If you were making stuff for the bake sale, it wasn’t really time for yourself.”

  “Baking is time for myself.”

  “You’re something, you know that?”

  She’d always thought of herself as ordinary. For him to pay her that compliment meant more than he could know.

  The brightly lit room buzzed with conversation. Kids in snowsuits darted around their parents, and tables had been placed around the perimeter. A children’s crafts area took up a portion of the room. Nicole caught a glimpse of two little girls coloring at one of the tables. One day her little ones would color at Christmas Fest and run around with their friends. She tried to picture them a little older and couldn’t. They were still so tiny.

  “Bake sale’s this way.” Judd jerked his thumb to the back of the room.

  Nicole stayed by his side, pausing now and then to check out homemade candles and other displays. Cinnamon and coffee permeated the air, and her stomach grumbled. As soon as they scoped out the bake sale, she needed a bite to eat.

  “My kind of display.” Judd rubbed his hands together in front of two long tables covered in red tablecloths. Brittany, Mason and Brittany’s grandmother sat behind them.

  “Hey, you two. I hope you brought your wallets.” Brittany flourished her hand over the spread with the skill of a game-show host. Nicole noted a variety of pies, cookies and brownies. What she didn’t see were her cupcakes. Hadn’t anyone put them out?

  “I made cupcakes,” Nicole said. “But I don’t see them.”

  Brittany’s long blond hair curled over her shoulders, and her stunning blue eyes sparkled. “Not only were they the first items displayed, but Lois told me they were the first to sell out. I’ve had several people stop back to get your information. I hope you don’t mind me telling them you baked them.”

  People liked her cupcakes! A thrill zinged down her spine. She wanted to do a happy dance on the spot. “Mind? Why would I mind? They really liked them?”

  Mason patted his stomach. “I know I did. What kind had the tan frosting and cinnamon on top?”

  “Pumpkin with cream cheese. I also made dark chocolate with cookies-and-cream frosting, and a salted caramel white cupcake.”

  “The only complaint we’ve gotten...” Mason said. Nicole’s gut clenched. People had complained? “There weren’t enough of them.”

  Her breath came out in a whoosh. “Really? Oh, you just made my day.” She clapped her hands together and turned to Judd. “They liked the cupcakes.”

  “Why wouldn’t they? Everything you make is delicious.”

  Somehow having his approval was even better than the cupcakes selling out. She turned a
way, but his image was burned into her mind. His tall, powerful frame. The twinkle in his eyes. The patience that permeated him. The tiny gap between his teeth. The slight graying at his temples.

  All it would take was the barest whisper for her to fall hard for Judd Wilson.

  But the other night he’d spelled it out for her—he was set in his ways. He had no plans to get married.

  Married? She shook herself out of the alternate reality she’d momentarily found herself in.

  No one was talking marriage. No one was talking love or relationships or anything.

  Only someone like her mom would get stars in her eyes so soon after being widowed. And Judd wasn’t interested in her. He’d been kind to her, yes, but she couldn’t mistake kindness for romantic feelings.

  “Should we continue on?” She waved goodbye to Brittany and Mason. “I’d like to check out the food trucks. I’m hungry.”

  “This way.” Judd placed his hand at the small of her back and ushered her toward the side door. His touch seared all the way through her coat and sweater.

  If the slightest touch was affecting her this way, maybe she should seriously work on getting her feelings back to friend mode.

  It wasn’t as if she was in love with him or anything. When the gingerbread house was finished, they wouldn’t be hanging out as much, and this crush would fade away. She wouldn’t waste another minute thinking about it. It was time to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

  * * *

  Judd held a paper cup filled with apple slices as Nicole reached out to feed the reindeer. All day he’d been getting wrapped tighter and tighter into the Christmas Fest spirit. Nicole had been a big part of it. Her expression had been priceless when Brittany told her the cupcakes had sold out. She’d looked shocked, then in utter awe. He’d fought the urge to take her into his arms and hug her right off her feet.

  That would have been a disaster.

  It was bad enough they’d been getting double takes and whispers all afternoon. Nicole didn’t seem to notice, but he did. And the resulting emotions were churning his stomach. That and the barbecue they’d eaten a few hours ago.