by Lucia Black
“Goodnight.” Preston pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”
Chapter 9
When I opened my eyes, pain radiated from my temples and it felt like I had cotton in my mouth. I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but the light was too bright, and something was wrong.
I shot up.
Last night’s events replayed like a horror movie in my mind except I couldn’t calm myself down by telling myself ‘none of this is real.’ It was real, and it was my life.
Scrambling to my feet I nearly tripped over my comforter. I shoved it aside and rushed to the door. When I peeked out, I saw Preston sound asleep on my couch wearing nothing but a pair of sky-blue boxer briefs.
“Shit.” I closed my bedroom door without a sound.
What had I done?? Why had I called him in the first place?
I knew the answer to those questions. I could never have him, and I still tried anyway.
I was a horrible person.
On silent feet, I made my way to the window. Jimmy’s car was parked in his semi-designated spot at the café across the street. I guessed that meant he survived the night and was waiting to take me to work. Business as usual.
“Shit,” I said to myself again. I was a horrible person, and stupid. And I was going to be late for work.
My phone rang faintly somewhere in the room. I threw aside discarded clothes, found my clutch, and pulled out my phone. I hesitated when I saw the number on the screen. I decided the consequence for not answering would’ve been far worse than any tongue lashing I was about to get.
“Buongiorno, Papa.”
“Good morning to you too, Mari. Your mother is on the line,” my father answered in Italian.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Mama said.
Despite the pleasantries, I wasn’t convinced I wasn’t about to get into a world of trouble. They had heard about my night and things were so bad they both needed to chastise at me at the same time.
“I’m running a little late for work. Is something wrong?” There was no point in dragging it out. I went to the bathroom and put my phone on speaker so my hands were free to wash my face and brush my teeth. I didn’t want everyone on campus to know I drank too much last night.
“Just the opposite,” my father said. “Your mother and I are looking at some great shots of you and Cal in the paper. Does that mean your date went well last night?”
I blew out a long breath. Of course Jimmy didn’t tell Papa anything about Preston because all he would’ve been doing was getting himself in trouble. If Jimmy forced my hand, I would’ve told Papa what he did to me, and it wouldn’t have gone well for him. Jimmy was smart enough to know that.
“Yes. Everything went well and a lot of photos were taken. I think he had a good time too,” I said, carefully choosing my words for anyone that could be listening.
“I can tell he had a good time, Mari,” Mama said. “These pictures say it all. The way he is looking at you. Who could blame him for falling for you?”
I seriously doubted that would ever happen. I wasn’t even sure if Cal would want to be in the same room as me anymore. He seemed to have an aversion to being close to me, but I didn’t need to tell her. “Well, that’s just the papers. People see what they want to see. Isn’t that the point of photographers? It doesn’t matter what anyone feels. Just what people see.” I knew it was rude, but it was the truth of it, and I was walking a fine line saying it over the phone and I knew it.
“Oh, honey⸻” Mama started, but Papa interrupted.
“Your happiness and how you feel mean everything to me, Mari. Family is the most important thing. You are my baby girl.”
I knew what he was saying. None of it was a threat. He would never threaten me. But I knew that he was reminding me I was doing this for the family.
“I know, Papa. I love my family too.”
“Are you seeing Calvin again soon?” my mother asked, changing the topic back.
“I’m not sure.” I brushed on a dusting of powder and finally felt like I looked human enough to go to work. “But I really have to go, Mama. I have a lecture and I’m running late this morning.” I heard the couch squeak in the living room. Preston was waking up.
“Okay, but if he doesn’t have his assistant call you soon, I want you to call her and give her your availability.” I flung open my closet doors in search of something simple to throw on. “This goes both ways. You don’t have to wait for him to set up a date.”
“I understand.” My fingers flew over every garment in my closet.
“We love you so much, Mari,” Mama said.
“I love you guys too.”
Just as I tapped to end the call, two strong hands wrapped around my waist from behind and held me close. “Good morning,” Preston whispered, his lips lingering over my ear.
“Good morning.”
“I didn’t know you spoke Italian.” He pushed my hair aside to kiss my cheek. “It was pretty hot.” I laughed awkwardly, not wanting this moment to stop. “Was that your parents?”
“Yeah, just calling to check in.” I stepped out of his hold to turn around and face him. He was still in his boxer briefs and I became fully aware that I had absolutely nothing on under my thin T-shirt.
“It looks like you’re feeling better.” He scratched at the fresh stubble dotting his chin. I liked him unshaven. He tucked his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear and they slid down a bit, showing off that vee shape every girl dreamed about.
“I am. Thanks for taking care of me. I haven’t had that much to drink in a really long time, and I’m really embarrassed I let myself get to that point.” I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I could play the whole thing off as one big drunken mistake.
“It’s nothing. I’m happy I was here so you weren’t alone.”
Preston stood unmoving and expectant. Either he wanted to pick up where we left off last night, or he was wanting more from me than the tepid reception I was giving him. Either way, I needed him out of my apartment before I lost my resolve.
“I’m running late for work and I should’ve left twenty minutes ago. I have to get dressed and get out of here so I can make my first class. Could we talk later?” I glanced at the door then gave Preston my back as I slid hangers down the rack.
“Yeah. I’ll, uh—I’ll call you later. I can see myself out.”
Preston gathered his clothes and got dressed, leaving without a word while I threw on a shapeless cotton dress that was comfortable while still being semi-dressy enough for class.
I stared at my distorted reflection in the steel elevator doors. Being a bitch to Preston didn’t feel good. He didn’t deserve it. It was all my fault. Everything. But once the truth came out, he would realize why I did what I did and maybe not hate me. I had to take some comfort in that.
I walked toward Jimmy and saw his black eye. It was still slightly puffy, and his swollen nose had a bandage across the bridge. As I approached, he opened the car door for me without a word. If he saw Preston leaving my building, he didn’t mention it. Once I got inside, I found a hazelnut coffee waiting for me in the cupholder. I took a sip.
“Thanks.” I held the coffee up to him.
“It’s the least I can do after last night.”
“A coffee isn’t an apology.”
“I am sorry, okay? I’m sorry I overstepped.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t tell my father. Next time you won’t get the same courtesy.” I put the coffee down, no longer wanting to accept his shitty attempt at getting back on my good side.
We rode in total and awkward silence until my phone rang. It was another person I didn’t want to talk to.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Miss Moretti, it’s Karen, Mr. James’ assistant. Would now be a good time to set up another meeting? Mr. James is looking forward to seeing you again.”
We’d just arrived at campus, and even if we weren’t there, I couldn’t be bothered with making ano
ther date right then. “No. Now isn’t a good time.” I hung up without giving Karen a chance to offer a time to reschedule the call. I secretly hoped she told him I hung up on her.
I blamed Cal for everything. It was easier than keeping the blame on myself. If he could’ve just been human with me . . . if he didn’t so harshly push me away . . . if he was just honest about what this was going to be for him, or just talked to me . . . so many ‘ifs’ . . .
“Is everything okay?” Jimmy asked.
“No.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
Jimmy stopped the car so I could get out. “No. Like I said on the phone, now isn’t a good time.”
Chapter 10
One of the perks of avoiding all my problems was other aspects of my life fell more solidly into place. If I focused heavily on something else, it was much easier. In less than two weeks I had created outlines for summer sessions, made interactive study guides for finals, and extended my office hours. It felt good to be succeeding at something.
“Okay, next question. Contestants ready?” Because I taught political science, I decided to do the democratic thing and let the class vote on how they wanted to review in class for upcoming finals. Game show style won by a landslide. I’d added it to the list as a gag, but the joke ended up being on me.
“Ready,” the representatives from each team answered. They stood with their hands poised over the buzzers I’d brought in.
“Which act established the three-tier court system?”
A student slammed her hand down on the buzzer first. “Judiciary Act 1789.”
“Correct.” Her team erupted into applause like they just won the lottery. “Okay, next contestants.”
Two different students approached the table at the front of the classroom and took up the same serious stances as their teammates. I was flipping through my notes, looking for a tougher question when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a tall figure enter the classroom. I glanced up from my notes to reprimand whoever it was trying to sneak in so late . . . but it was Preston.
My notes fell to the floor.
I dropped to my knees to pick them up. Other students pitched in to help, but the note cards were all out of order. I scrambled back up to my feet, pushed my hair out of my eyes, and flipped through the cards to find a question to ask.
“What⸻ uh⸻” I glanced back up at Preston, just to make sure it was really him. That was a mistake. He wore a blank expression I couldn’t read. It paired well with a navy blazer, a white button-down, and a pair of jeans. “You know what guys, my cards are out of order now. Let’s call it a day. You have access to the study guides, and you know how to contact me for questions.”
No matter how much they enjoyed playing the game, they liked not being in class more. As the students packed up and left, I gathered my things and watched Preston approach out of the corner of my eye. I was being a chicken not acknowledging him when it was obvious I’d seen him, but maybe if I stalled a few more seconds I’d think of something good to say.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey. How’d you know where to find me?”
“You were coming out of this building the day you ran into me.” He sat on top of the desk across from me, blocking my path to the exit. Not that I was considering bolting. “It’s also a predominantly female department, apparently. You’d be surprised how far my charm got me.”
I gave him an incredulous glare. “Really?”
“No.” He smiled. “The internet exists. I just looked on the university website.”
“Oh. Right.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Then I guess my next question is why?”
“Because I have a question for you. A very pressing political question.”
I raised an eyebrow, then leaned back against the whiteboard for support. “Yeah? What could I possibly know that you don’t?”
“Why you haven’t been returning my calls?” He slid off the desk and took a step closer. His blue eyes managed to sparkle even in the awful florescent light of the classroom.
Seeing him again made it hard to remember why I was avoiding him in the first place.
“That’s not a political science question.”
“Sure it is.” He shrugged. “There’s got to be some politics and a little science behind your reasoning.”
I laughed nervously. “Do you, uh . . . do you read the papers or the news? Social media?”
“God, no. I’m briefed constantly. But I leave the new articles up to my aides and staff to tell me what’s important to know and how it pertains to my role so I can best serve my constituents. Social media is just toxic for someone like me, and I don’t bother with the gossip. But you still haven’t answered my question.”
“Preston—” I sighed. I had nothing. Nothing good, anyway. If I told him the truth, he’d be mad at me for letting things go this far and I didn’t want him to be mad. Why couldn’t I just say the words: I was on a date with Cal. I am dating Cal. I needed to say it. Instead, I said something lame. “I’m swamped right now. Between teaching, presenting my thesis, and my family, I just have no time for anything else.”
“I texted too. Those only take seconds to respond to.” Preston couldn’t be deterred. He held my gaze, daring me to look away.
“That’s how busy I am.”
He scratched at his jaw as if he didn’t know what to say next. “I thought we had something, Moretti.”
I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it again. In some sort of divine intervention, students for the next class started wandering in.
“We have to go. Another class is starting soon.”
Preston followed me out of the classroom and into the hall.
“Well?”
“Well, what?” I maneuvered through the sparse crowd, but Preston had no problem keeping up with me, his long legs easily matching my pace.
“Was I wrong about there being something between us?”
We walked in silence to the building’s exit. I had to choose my words carefully if I still wanted to be able to have a working relationship with Preston.
“You aren’t wrong.” I stopped walking and he did too, choosing to stay inside a little longer. If I went too far, Jimmy would see and then I’d have more issues to deal with.
“Okay.” He nodded. “Then I’m going to be honest with you here, I want to see you again. I want to keep getting to know you. But I’m not going to keep pushing if you really don’t feel the same way.”
“Preston—” My phone rang in my bag. “I do feel the same.” I searched through my bag until I felt it. When I looked at the screen it showed Cal’s number, not his assistant’s. “But that night was a mistake and it can’t happen again.” I had to answer. I couldn’t run away forever. “Just give me a second.”
I moved away from Preston and answered. “This is Tessa,” I said. If our relationship was just business, I may as well answer his calls like it was just business.
“Tessa, Karen said she’s been calling you without any luck, so I thought I’d call myself.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve just been really busy.”
“Understandable. What time can you be ready tonight? Will seven o’clock be okay? Or would eight be better for you?”
“Tonight?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache forming. “Where are we going tonight?”
“Your story about the beach and the bikini gave me an idea. So, what time?”
“Uh—” I pulled the phone away from my ear to check my calendar app. Considering the main focus of my life was supposed to be dating Cal, I didn’t have anything to do. “Seven works.”
“Be ready. I’ll pick you up then.” The line was quiet for a second. “Wear something you can easily change out of.”
Cal ended the call before I had a chance to ask a follow-up question. I didn’t know who he thought he was, barking orders at me, telling me what to wear and when to be ready by.
It brought a flashback of Cal at the restaur
ant when he was on the phone. I caught a glimpse of a different man then. A man I found intriguing and sexy. If he was the kind of guy who knew what he wanted and let me in on it, this whole thing would be a lot easier.
I’d tried with Cal, and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in us pursuing any kind of relationship beyond the façade that was set up for the public eye. It didn’t feel like we could even be friends throughout this. It was just five-minute photo ops and then be on our way to awkward, forced conversations—or ignoring each other.
“That clears some things up.” At some point, Preston had moved closer. I wasn’t sure what all he heard or if he could make out Cal’s voice.
“I seriously doubt it.” Thinking on it again only left me more confused and lonelier. I just wanted to cry.
“You’re seeing someone else. But I need you to tell me this thing between us is over.”
The building had fully cleared once it reached the top of the hour and classes had started. Preston moved in closer and I didn’t back away. With the light coming in from the doors, it made his hair lighter and the way it framed his face made him look vulnerable. Or maybe it was because he was being so honest about his feelings with me.
“I don’t want it to be—”
True to his word, Preston saw an opportunity and took what he wanted. He nudged me back into the wall and kissed me, preventing me from saying anything more. He started slowly, just barely pressing his lips to mine. When I didn’t make him stop, he deepened the kiss, bringing his face down closer to mine.
For just one second I pretended things were different and I let myself become wrapped in his embrace.
And then I realized if anyone happened to see us, I would’ve ruined everything for my family.
I shoved Preston away.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”