‘But Lexi you’re pregnant, it’s not just you now.’
‘I don’t need this shit, especially not from you,’ she snapped and stormed off.
I plonked myself down on a bench and put my head in my hands. I was having a really great morning. I heard a gentle cough and looked up and saw Milo standing over me.
‘Hey, everything ok?’
‘Hi Milo, yes I’m fine thanks, you?’
‘Well you don’t look fine Mia.’
‘Sorry,’ I sighed. ‘Actually no, I’m really not, I was just trying to be polite. Do you ever just have one of those mornings where you think everything’s fine, but for some reason everyone gets mad at you?’
‘Yeah I’ve been there,’ he nodded as he sat next to me.
‘Well today’s my day. Would you like to storm off now and get it over with? I’m sure I can do something to piss you off in the next five minutes.’
He put his arm around me and squeezed me to his shoulder. It felt really comforting. ‘I don’t see how you could piss anyone off Mia, you’re so easy to be around.’
‘Thanks Milo. Tell me about you, how’s your week been?’
‘Ok,’ he said as he let go of me. ‘I’ve discovered the student bar and pool hall and had a great night with some of the lads from my Italian group.’
‘You’re studying Italian too?’ I asked surprised.
‘Well, I’m already reasonably fluent and I figured I ought to make the effort seeing as how it’s part of my heritage. I plan to go backpacking around Italy with Jenny next summer. How about you? What are your plans for the summer?’
‘I don’t even know what my plans are for Christmas yet Milo and that’s so not like me. I like having control in my life, knowing what’s coming up, but lately that seems to be completely shot to hell.’
‘Maybe that’s why you’re feeling out of sorts. Come on, or we’ll be late.’
I linked arms with him and we were laughing and joking as we approached the doors to English and I saw then open and Gabe walked out. He froze staring at Milo and I laughing and I watched a dark cloud come over his face as he looked at our linked arms and I let go of Milo immediately.
‘Gabe I …’
‘Your bag’s on your table,’ he snapped, then turned and quickly strode away.
‘Gabe? GABE?’ I called, but he kept walking and didn’t look back. What the hell was going on?
‘Wow, you’re right you’ve really pissed him off. Is he always this moody or just when he sees me with you?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘He’s probably the sweetest and most caring guy I’ve ever met Milo. Something’s up though, I just don’t know what.’
We walked in and I saw my bag on my usual table, Lexi was already there and had taken the seat away from Andrew again.
‘See you later,’ smiled Milo as he went to find his place and left me to sit at mine.
‘Sorry for being a bitch,’ said Lexi without even looking at me.
‘No I’m sorry Lex, I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re right, it has nothing to do with me.’
‘Yes it does, you’re my best friend. I’m going to need you to get through this.’
‘You’ll always have me Lexi.’ I reached under the table and squeezed her hand.
‘So Gabe’s seriously pissed off. He had a word with Jenkins then dumped your bag on the table. He asked me where you were before he left.’
‘He just saw me in the corridor with Milo, god if looks could kill Lex. He just walked away from me and didn’t even look back. I just don’t know what I’ve done.’
‘You ok?’
‘I don’t know, I feel … I don’t know … unsettled I guess, hurt even.’
‘So when he comes back in try and get him to meet you outside and talk.’
I nodded, she was right, he needed to explain his behaviour. I decided to text him.
Why are you so mad at me? I don’t understand what I’ve done. Let me know before you come back into English and I’ll come out to see you
I kept checking my phone for a response, but by 3 p.m. I knew he wasn’t coming back. It didn’t stop me from looking over at his empty seat and imagining I saw him there, smiling at me like normal. I was up and out of my seat like a gazelle at five and raced out into the corridor and rang his number, but it went straight to answer machine.
‘Gabe what the hell’s going on? You’re so pissed at me and I don’t even know what I did. Please call me, I need you to talk to me.’ I sighed as I hung up, when did I turn into the needy girlfriend? I was supposed to be protecting my heart, not letting myself be affected by another guy and I was already letting him get to me and chasing after him. Lexi came out as I put my phone back in my jeans pocket and raised her eyebrows questioningly and I bit my lip and shook my head. She put her arm around me.
‘Come on I’m buying you a latte and then we’re heading over to that pool and I’m going to kick his arse right into it.’
‘You’d do that for me?’
‘If he’s fucking around with you and upsetting you, of course. I already warned him I would.’
‘Lexi we can’t go, we have our thing at six.’
‘What thing?’
‘Counselling.’
‘O shit I’d forgotten about that, hey there’s Doug up ahead. Doug, Doug, DOUUUUG,’ she yelled.
He stopped and turned and smiled when he saw the two of us and waited for us to catch him up.
‘Hey girls.’
‘What the hell’s going on with Gabe?’ Lexi demanded as she stood in front of him and folded her arms. He looked shocked, she was so tall she was intimating when she wanted to be.
‘I don’t know. I was just about to ask you two the same question. He called me earlier to say he’s blowing off practice again and wouldn’t tell me why. What’s going on? You two have a fight Mia?’
‘No,’ I said shaking my head. ‘Why’s everyone blaming me? What did he say?’
‘He said he had something that he needed to look into. He sounded really pissed off.’ Doug picked up the camera around his neck and quickly took a picture of Lexi and then myself.
‘What the hell?’ said Lexi angrily as I squinted from the flash.
‘Sorry, bad habit. I like catching people when emotions are running high, makes for a better picture.’
‘Well don’t do it again, if I see some bloody exhibition somewhere with a picture of me with a face like thunder, you’re so going to get it,’ she scowled.
‘I’d always ask permission if I wanted to publish any pictures. Do you like leather?’ he asked Lexi.
‘What?’ she asked looking stunned.
‘I bet you’re into leather gear, you’d look really hot in it. I’d like to take you out, how about it?’
‘He’s bloody mental,’ she said to me shaking her head and grabbing my hand. ‘If you see Gabe, you tell him if he doesn’t call to apologise to my girl and sort his shit out he’ll have me to answer to.’
‘So is that a yes?’ he called after us as she dragged me away.
‘Lexi, he just asked you out,’ I said as I tried to keep up with her.
‘Am I into leather? The kinky fucker.’
‘Well you are, it just makes you better suited doesn’t it?’
‘We have enough problems on our hands at the moment don’t you think without me getting Douged as well.’
‘Getting Douged?’ I laughed, it was nice to take my mind of whatever was eating at Gabe. We downed a coffee and I picked at a blueberry muffin and we headed down to the Student Services desk and were told to take a seat.
‘Shit I’m nervous,’ said Lexi, rapping her fingers on her knee.
‘Lexi, just imagine it’s me in there that you’re talking to. I’m going to do the same.’
‘You’re going to imagine you’re talking to yourself?’
‘No,’ I laughed shaking my head. ‘I’ll imagine it’s you. You know more about me than anyone, I can be honest with you.’
She smiled at me
as she popped in some gum and a lady with long blond hair came out and called Lexi’s name.
‘Good luck, meet you back here after?’ I asked. She nodded and grabbed her bag and walked off. I sat for a couple of minutes and checked my phone again, nothing. I sighed and looked up as I heard my name being called. The lady had short black hair and a pair of black rimmed glasses. She looked to be in her mid-forties.
‘Hi Mia. I’m Tracy, nice to meet you, do you want to follow me?’
We headed into a corridor behind the reception desk, off which ran a number of doors. She slid the sign on one door to engaged and opened it and indicated for me to go in. The room was a stark contrast to the Uni halls and corridors which were all painted white with gleaming vinyl floors. It was small and cosy in cream and red, with a two seater leather sofa with some red knitted scatter cushions and a leather tub chair at a right angle next to it. There was table in the middle with a pot plant and a box of tissues.
‘Please take a seat,’ she smiled.
‘Which one?’
‘Which ever makes you feel more comfortable.’
I sat upright, awkwardly perched on the end of the sofa, as if I were at a job interview.
‘Do you normally sit like that at home?’ she laughed.
‘No.’
‘Then please, imagine you’re in your own living room, feet up, lying down even, whatever makes you comfortable.’
I smiled, slipped off my boots and wriggled my way back into the corner, tucking up my legs and clutched one of the red cushions to my stomach.
‘Now that’s better,’ she smiled as she took a seat in the tub chair. She explained about the type of counselling she was going to offer, her ethics and how the sessions would work. ‘So tell me what brought you here to me today?’
‘I don’t know where to start.’
‘Wherever feels right for you.’
I bit my lip as I thought about the question, while Gabe was on my mind I knew the crux of my issues was my dad. The next forty odd minutes flew by and she gently interrupted to say that it was time to finish. As I blew my nose and wiped the tears from my eyes, I realised that she’d not said much at all. I’d babbled on for ages, it seemed a good sign that I felt comfortable enough to do that already.
‘So, will you come back and see me next week?’
‘Yes please.’
‘I’ll book you in for the same day and time each week then. I’d suggest we start off with eight weeks and see how we go, you may want more or less. It’s up to you as to when you feel ready to stop coming.’
She showed me to the door and I thanked her and made my way back out. Lexi was sitting on one of the reception chairs waiting for me, with her head down.
‘Lex?’ She looked up and I could see that she’d been crying too. ‘You ok?’ I asked. She nodded and took a deep breath.
‘I need some food and no healthy bloody crap, can we have a Chinese?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ I said as I linked arms with her and we headed out to catch the bus home. When we were on it, I called and placed our order, sad to see there was still no message from him.
‘So you doing ok?’ Lexi asked me.
‘Gabe or the session?’
‘Both.’
‘Gabe no, best we say no more about that. Session yes, I really liked her, she was easy to talk to and I pretty much blubbed the whole way through. You?’
‘Yeah she seems cool. I liked the room, it felt cosy. We sat in silence for about ten minutes looking at each other.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, so I just came out with it and said I’m fucking pregnant and don’t want to be.’
‘O Lex.’
‘She asked me lots of questions and made me talk about it and I ended up crying.’
‘Do you feel better?’
‘No!’ she said shooting me a look.
‘Mine said sometimes you can feel worse before you get to feel better as you’re digging up stuff that’s sometimes been buried for years.’
‘Maybe it should stay buried.’
‘I used to think so, but I’ve not exactly made a success of my relationships with men by avoiding dealing with the lack of the one I have with my dad have I? Or avoiding dealing with Alex dumping me. I need to get over this, especially now. I know I said it was going to be all about sex Lexi, but I want more. I like having him as a boyfriend, I like hanging out with him, even without the sex. I actually want this to work, which has made today even harder.’
‘There’s no way he’s walking away from you, he adores you. There’s obviously something pretty damn important going on though that’s got him all fucked up.’
‘I just wish I knew what it was,’ I sighed. ‘I just don’t know what I did wrong.’
We hopped off at our stop and wandered up the road to pick up our takeaway and headed back home. I grabbed some plates and Lexi dished up and we sat in the lounge in silence as we ate.
‘Do I need to clear out?’ asked Lexi startling me from my thoughts.
‘What?’
‘When Gabe shows up.’
‘If Gabe shows up and no, it’s your house too Lex.’
‘Well if you need me to be gone for a while just say.’
‘Thanks, but no. What time is it now?’
‘Seven.’
‘I’m going to check my phone and get changed into something a bit more comfortable, I’ve eaten too much. I may have a lie down if you don’t mind?’
‘Ok, I’m going to watch some TV then I may hit the sack early again. I hope he’s left you a message.’
‘Me too.’
I dropped our plates in the kitchen, cleaned up and headed to the bedroom removing my jeans and jumper and hung them on the back of the chair. I put on my grey cut off shorts and my black ballet jersey top, grabbed my phone and curled up on the bed as I checked it, nothing. I grabbed a pillow and pulled it to me and closed my eyes willing myself not to cry as I replayed this morning’s conversations. I couldn’t think of anything I’d said or done that would upset him this much. I must’ve fallen asleep, as the next thing I knew I was hearing raised voices.
‘I warned you what’d happen if you hurt her Gabe.’
‘Lexi this is between Mia and I, please step aside I need to see her, now.’
‘I’m not letting you take another step inside until you tell me what the hell’s going on.’
I rubbed my eyes and sat up as they bit at each other.
‘Then ask her to come out here, as I’m not going to have this discussion with you Lexi and I’m not moving an inch until I’ve spoken to her.’
‘Great, so now it suits you to talk? After you’ve ignored her all day? You show up here at half ten expecting her to drop everything now you want to talk? You’re just a typical bloody arrogant male who doesn’t deserve her Gabe.’
This was getting too heated, I jumped out of bed and made my way to my bedroom door.
‘Lexi it’s ok, let him in,’ I said gently as I watched them glaring at each other.
She turned and looked at me with a WTF expression and I nodded. She shook her head and walked back to her bedroom, slamming the door. I quickly looked at him, standing red faced in the doorway and turned and walked back into my room. I sat on the bed feeling nervous, if he was going to end it with me, for whatever reason, I needed it over and done with and fast. I heard my bedroom door being closed and looked up, he was leaning back against the wall, his hands rubbing his face. When he lowered them I winced as I saw he’d a large purple bruise on his cheekbone.
‘Gabe, what’s going on? What’s happened to you face?’ I ignored every instinct to remain standoffish after his despicable behaviour today and got off the bed and walked to him to inspect his cheek.
‘Don’t,’ he whispered as he quickly sidestepped me.
‘Gabe what the hell’s going on?’ I demanded.
‘You told me you’d never lie to me Mia and I believed you.’ He sounded so distraught and when he looked
at me I could see pain in his eyes.
‘I haven’t lied to you about anything.’
‘You told me you were a virgin, that I was your first,’ he snapped as he shot me another hurt look.
‘I was a virgin, you were my first and I’m not sure I like your tone Gabe.’
‘Don’t lie to me Mia, I know it’s not true,’ he said looking at me, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
‘Gabe it is the truth, you were my first and I don’t like being accused of lying so you’d better spit out whatever’s on your bloody mind before I kick you out. I don’t need this extra shit at the moment.’ I folded my arms across my chest and I could feel my blood boiling. How dare he accuse me of lying, he hadn’t even apologised for ignoring me all day.
‘I can’t believe you can just stand there and lie to my face. I know Mia, ok? I bloody know,’ he hissed.
‘Know what Gabe?’ I hissed back with a glare, I was getting pissed off with this.
‘That you’re fucking pregnant with Kai’s kid,’ he snapped at me. I was so taken a back, I just stood with my mouth ajar, looking at him in shock. He started pacing the room as his hands tore through his hair. ‘See you’re not even denying it,’ he sighed as finally stood still and shook his head looking defeated.
‘Of course I’m denying it. You’ve just dropped a bloody bombshell on me, give me a second to process it. You think I’m pregnant? Where did you get this information?’ I asked astounded.
‘I saw the pregnancy test in the bathroom bin when I took a leak this morning Mia.’
‘You what?’ I exclaimed angrily. ‘You were rummaging in my bin? That’s taking your stalker tendencies to another level Gabe. You’re so out of order.’
‘I’m out of order? You’re standing there lying to me Mia, that’s fucking out of order,’ he shouted. I’d never seen his eyes so dark before, he was as furious with me as I was with him. I took a step back, scared by him raising his voice to me like that.
‘Unacceptable invasion of personal privacy aside Gabe, I’m not pregnant,’ I snapped.
‘Mia, stop. I found out where you lived alright. I drove to your parents’ house, got Kai’s address and went to confront him. He’s already told me it’s true, so don’t stand there lying to my face.’ I looked at him in disbelief as he just stood with his shoulders slumped looking at me sadly. ‘I love you Mia and you’ve just broken my fucking heart,’ he whispered.
New Leaves, No Strings (Austin Erotic Romance Series) Page 31