by Sara Lindley
Mac folded the letter stuffing it in his pants pocket feeling he had just met his fate.
“She’s the one. I just know it. I need to write her back. I’ll be back after school to write her. Tomorrow okay?”
Mr. Jeb grinned and nodded. “Tomorrow.”
Mac grinned and ran to the door hearing a whistle. Mac turned and shyly grinned.
He ran back and picked up the crate of goods he was specifically sent to get. Jeb shoved some sticks of peppermint in with the staples and winked at the boy.
“Thanks Mr. Jeb.”
Mac was so excited he wanted to write her back immediately but knew he couldn’t. He sat through another supper of silence in the bunkhouse chomping at the bit to get to his room to think about what to say.
He shoveled the stew down and ate the cornbread that Big John cooked for the cow hands. He gulped down his milk and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
“That sure was good Big John. Can I leave the table Pa?”
His Pa looked at his bowl and lifted a brow wondering what the boy was up to.
“Sure Mac. I’ll bring Mazie in with me when we’re done here.”
Mac took off running to the big house and ran to his room. He had some serious thinking to do. He sat and pondered while writing out his letter hoping and praying he had everything down right. She just HAD to understand how much she was needed.
Mac rattled his tin of money he’d saved. He opened the lid and counted it. It should be enough after all that money Grandma sends to Pa for Mazie and me.
Back in the bunkhouse Harrison McGann wondered what bur had got under his son’s saddle. He was as jumpy as a jackrabbit during mating season and spending a lot of time in his room.
He looked around the bunkhouse table for any sign that someone knew and found none on the faces there. He snorted and ate the rest of his stew. He was getting angry from the silence during these meals. No one talked anymore.
He set down his spoon and looked around the table.
“Don’t anybody have something to say tonight?”
The other ten cowboys who had worked on the McGann ranch all shook their heads. Harrison McGann narrowed his eyes and zeroed in on Tuck Connors.
“Tuck! You always got some funny shit to say? What’s goin’ on? Ain’t got nothin’ to say?” Tuck stopped eating and paled a bit.
“No boss. Nothin’ funny to say.”
He started to eat again.
McGann looked at all their faces as they avoided his eyes.
“Why not?”
Tuck almost choked and hesitated as he wiped his mouth.
“I guess because I want to keep my damn teeth in my mouth and my job.”
The other cowboy’s eyes got wide and looked at Tuck and then back at their bowls.
Harrison stood and kicked his chair away feeling rage rise in him like a dust devil.
“So that’s how it is, is it? What the hell? Has everybody around here gone crazy?”
He looked around the table and no one answered.
“Fine then. I guess I should just fire everybody huh?”
Tuck had enough and stood throwing down his napkin.
“Boss? We do a hard days work for you. We work real hard and you pay us good. But we don’t deserve your constant butt kickin’. You can fire us…sure. But good luck in finding any other cowboys to work for yuh. Your reputation has traveled and it is no longer a good one.”
Harrison saw red.
“You been talkin’ about me behind my back?”
Tuck snorted and almost laughed.
“We don’t have to say nothin’ Boss. All you have to do is go to town and you advertise yourself. You never leave town now without beatin’ some poor soul half to death.”
Harrison glared at Tuck but knew deep down he was right. Even his sweet old Aunt Ada who lived in town told him that now days he would try to start a fist fight with Jesus if his arms were longer.
Harrison sighed and glared at his five year old feeling old and defeated. Mazie sat in her chair stiff as a board and looking at her hands in her little lap.
“Get up Mazie. We’re goin’ to the big house.”
Mazie sat and looked down hanging her head and hunkered her shoulders due to the tension in the air.
Harrison spoke louder. His voice made her jump.
“I said get up damn it!”
Mazie jumped down off the bench and her father yanked her hand in his. Mazie started to cry.
Tuck almost growled.
“Boss! She’s just a little bitty filly…”
Harrison glared at Tuck and looked down seeing fear all over her five year old face as pee started running down her legs. Harrison felt his heart stop.
God damn it! I’m scaring everybody! Even my little girl is afraid of me! What the hell has happened to me?
He was going to say something but let out a growl instead. Big John the cook ran to them.
“Don’t you worry none lass. Old Big John will clean it up. I think even Fes has pissed there on that very spot, eh Fes?”
The other cowboys kind of laughed and Mazie sniffed.
“I sorry, Pa. I sorry Big John…”
Harrison stood there feeling tears begin to well up in his eyes.
“Never you mind, Mazie girl. Big John will clean it up honey.”
Harrison choked out a word to the cook.
“Thanks John.”
Big John nodded looking worried.
“Sure ‘nuff Boss.”
Harrison McGann rushed out the door with his child in tow. As he and Mazie walked past the horse trough Harrison heard Fes throw down his spoon inside the bunkhouse yelling.
“That God damned Jackass!”
CHAPTER THREE
Harrison cleaned up Mazie and tucked her into bed. Kissing her he whispered a good night.
He tramped into the kitchen and poured some coffee and sugared it up good. Stretching out his six foot plus frame at the table, he felt old. Old and tired. He was thirty years old and already tired of life. He shook out his aching muscles and took a deep breath.
This horrible feeling in his heart was killing him and now he could see he was making enemies of every friend he ever had. Even his children were starting to hate him.
He sat at the empty table and shook his head.
I’ve got to get over this. She has been gone for years now. Mazie was not even a year old when she finally left after the divorce. Mazie. Little Mazie. His little sprite.
Harrison McGann closed his eyes squeezing them together and held back a sob.
I’m scarin’ the piss right out of my baby girl. I’m such a shit! How could he have been so cruel as to scare her like that!
I’ve got to get a hold of myself and find someone to put up with me. The children are suffering. I have to find a new wife. Carla Stevens is the only woman who pays any attention except maybe for one night and she scares the hell out of me.
Harrison shook himself like someone had just danced over his grave. He’d think about this tomorrow right now he should go to bed.
Harrison slowly walked to his lonely bedroom and looked at his empty bed. Not tonight! I won’t think about it tonight!
He undressed and stretched out after washing getting under the covers. He blew out the lamp and groaned as he relaxed.
What would I look for in a new wife? I thought Delaney was everything I wanted and look what happened there. I used to think that her black hair and brown eyes were the most beautiful in the world. But I found out real quick that my Mama was right! Beauty can be only skin deep.
All she wanted was to be a rich rancher’s wife. She was a little doll to dress up and parade around on your arm to show off to other men. Not a mother…or a lover.
Harrison fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed.
He had a dream of an angel. And in this dream he had a beautiful angel with honeyed hair and blue eyes. So blue they were striking. She would have an easy laugh and open arms. Not just for the children but fo
r him too. She would be good to me and be faithful to me. She would heal my heart.
Harrison noticed his erection as he was thinking of his angel. He cursed and got busy with his hand to give himself some relief. At least now, he had a woman to focus on. His dream angel.
As Harrison McGann fell back asleep after releasing himself he had no idea that in Virginia, his Angel was wide awake thinking of him and his children.
CHAPTER FOUR
Becca stepped into the Richmond Post Office and Old Francis was there waving a letter. Becca felt her heart skip hoping it was from Mac. They had been writing each other through the winter and now she was almost certain she would go to Colorado to see this young man.
“You got another one, Becca. How exciting. Can you imagine? All the way from Colorado territory! See here? It says it right here.”
Becca was astounded. “Colorado?”
Old Francis laughed. “Well yeah girl. Didn’t you read the last letter’s postmark?”
Becca flushed red. “No. Not really. I was too excited.”
Francis handed it to her. “Well here you are. Good luck.”
Becca took the envelope and waltzed out of the post office to meet Nola. She wasn’t about to read it in front of the Post Office. Frances Mooney, the old gossip, would have it shouted in the streets before day’s end.
She grabbed Nola’s arm and yanked her across the street to the small restaurant they liked to visit and sat for tea and cakes. She sat and drank her tea watching spring coming alive outside. She tasted one of her favorite confections. Coconut white cake with lemon curd filling. She sighed at the wonderful flavor. Nola’s eyes narrowed as she honed in on the chocolate tea cakes and delicately bit into one. Becca then pulled out the envelope and opened it seeing Nola’s eyes bug out.
“Becca! Another one?”
Becca grinned and giggled like a school girl.
“Yes. He’s been writing me for several months now.”
As she opened the envelope, train tickets and paper money fell out first. Becca and Nola both looked at them in shock. Becca scooped up the tickets and money looking at it. She quickly opened the letter and started reading.
Dear Miss Becca,
I got your letter. This is Mackenzie McGann again. I still need a new Mama real bad as I told you. My Pa needs a new wife too. I hope you have decided.
You asked so I guess I’ll finally tell you what happened with my Ma. I don’t know everything that happened about my Ma but I do remember I went to sleep one night and the next day I woke up to Ma bein’ gone and Pa yellin’ and wavin’ a piece of paper. He was cussin’ up a storm.
All I could understand was Ma was gone and she said she didn’t love us and wanted more of somethin’ in life. I can’t remember the word. I’d ask Pa, but that would just make him more mad then he already is. He thinks I don’t know nothin’ about it, but I’ll tell you what I do know.
I have a feelin’ I’m goin’ to get a visit to the wood shed for this anyway if he ever finds all the letters you have written.
Mazie, that’s my little sister is still not sleepin’ good and she’s still peein’ in her pants a lot. Pa doesn’t yell at her but I know he’s mad. I saw him run out to the barn cussin’ up a storm and I hid to see what he was doin’.
I ain’t never told anyone this before but he was cryin’. I ain’t never seen my Pa cry before but he was cryin’ hard. All I could understand was he was talking to himself sayin’ he was sorry for Mazie and me and that Ma never loved him. She only wanted money and ‘things’ and that she ran off with that ‘damn banker’. I sure don’t know where they ran to but they must have run a long, long way because she never came back.
It’s been a long time now and Pa is sadder than ever. My pa’s best friend, Still River, said Pa had been through hell with my Ma. I sure don’t want that for him again. I want him to be happy.
Well, you asked my Pa’s age and I found out from Uncle Still River.
My Pa is 30 years old. Sorry he is so old. But when we go to church, he says he cleans up pretty good and kinda smiles. I ain’t seen him smile real good in a long time. You know, the kind of smile that goes all the way to your eyes? River says Pa is so sad that his heart is kinda loco.
My Pa has only one woman after him, the rest are too afraid. She’s awful mean to me and Mazie when Pa ain’t lookin. She wants to marry my Pa because he’s a ‘rich rancher’. I heard her say that to her Ma after church when I shouldn’t have been listenin’.
Pa don’t like her much. When she sees Pa and starts runnin’ to him he groans like the Henderson’s hound dog when he’s under the porch. Pa then starts prayin’. I know because I hear him.
He says, ‘Oh GOD! Here she comes again!’ I guess he’s warnin’ God and maybe giving the good Lord a head start to make a run for it. Pa don’t get to run. But that’s usually when he scoops us two kids up and heads for the wagon blabbin’ about cattle to see to.
The other question you had was we have lots of cattle but we have a big garden too. Pa sells his vegetables to Mr. Jeb at the mercantile.
Our house has lots of room. But if you get scared you can bunk with me. Sometimes River stays over in what Pa calls the ‘guest room’. I not sure if that’s meant for girls though.
Please. I sent money to help you decide. We just need a Ma quick.
I don’t want that mean woman for a Ma. I want a Ma that’s pretty and smells like fresh air and cookies. You said you can cook good too.
My Pa can’t cook for beans but he tries hard. I guess I’m just getting’ real tired of scraping that black stuff off my bread in the mornin’ and eatin’ burned eggs.
I paid for a train ticket for you to come if you want to. I didn’t ask Pa. I used my savings. There is some extra money for food.
Mr. Jeb, the man at the Mercantile helped me write this. He said you would need the money to eat. Write me so I know when I can come to get you at the station in Lamar. If you don’t I’ll be there the day the ticket master says.
Yours truly, ( Jeb said to write that )
Mackenzie McGann
Becca couldn’t believe it! The boy was sending for her! She looked at the ticket and the train left in a week. A week! She sat dumbstruck.
I guess I’m going. I have to go! He spent his savings! I want to meet this young man face to face and his Pa. It might not be true love but they need me.
She looked at Nola and she grinned. Nola smirked.
“You’re going aren’t you?”
Becca bit her lip when she was nervous and right now she was chewing it like a steak gristle. Nola looked in her eyes and knew she had decided.
“Yeah! You’re going.”
They gathered the letter and their packages and went down the street to the bank to make arrangements for Becca’s bank draft and spending money. She had a lot to do before next week.
That night in Colorado territory, Harrison was picking up around the house after the children had gone to sleep. He gathered Mac’s shirt he left downstairs and went upstairs to put his son’s things away. He went to his chest of drawers and noticed the bottom drawer was a little cockeyed. Bending over to straighten it out, he saw that where there used to be a picture of Delaney, there were now letters.
He smiled and picked them up only to feel his jaw drop open as he began to read. Letter after letter from a woman he didn’t even know? Harrison narrowed his eyes and cussed.
Miffed? Miffed? You damn right Pa is going to be miffed! Pa is furious!
He grabbed all the letters and stormed downstairs and sat at the kitchen table looking at all the correspondence between this Becca woman and his son. He read the pages over and over again and soon he started reading them through Mac’s eyes, changing his opinion. Maybe Mac had something here.
He read the letters over and over again till dawn broke through the windows.
Mac came bouncing down the stairs and saw the letters on the table.
As his Pa lifted a brow to him Mac turned pale
and closed his eyes. He knew his judgment day had come. He was gonna get a whuppin’!
“I can explain Pa…I…”
Harrison snorted at his son. “Looks like you done a hell of a lot of explaining to this…”
He picked up a letter. “…Becca Hutchins in Virginia. What the hell were you thinking son? A total stranger?”
Mac stood there and tried to think. He was so scared that he couldn’t think of all the things he had planned to say…not a one of them! And he had it all worked out too! Just at that moment he thought of Mazie and that he just might pee on himself too.
His father crossed his legs and crossed his arms glaring at him…waiting. Mac’s chest swelled with air and he opened his mouth and the truth all came spilling out.
“I want a new Ma. Mazie sure needs a new Ma. You need a new wife! I waited for so long Pa…but all you were doin’ was pissin’ people off. And I don’t like that woman with the face paint. You don’t know it but when you are away from us she is mean to Mazie and me. She says she’s gonna send us off to school in the East so she won’t be bothered with us ‘brats’. That ain’t right. This is our home too.”
Harrison snorted and sneered at the audacity if the woman!
“She did huh? She said that…all the way across the country huh? Well! That’s news to me!” Harrison started laughing thinking of that idiot woman.
He stared at the resolve on his son’s face finally seeing the hurt and fear too.
“I’m real sorry, Mac. Your Pa has been a bad father. I’ve been feeling so mad and so sorry for myself that I didn’t pay attention to what you two were suffering right along with me. I’m sorry.”
Mac started to cry and ran to his father hugging him around the neck.
“I did it because I love yuh Pa! I don’t want yuh to be shot down in the street like a mangy dog by someone yuh made mad. Mazie and I couldn’t live without yuh!”
He wiped his eyes and blubbered his heart out.
“That awful woman said if you didn’t watch it, someone was gonna gun yuh down. She said she would sell everything and send us to the orphanage.”