Catch All The Girlfriends! 2

by KJ Harlow

  “What the fuck, dude? Let go! You’ll kill both of us!” she screamed.

  “Flap! I know you can’t Fly yet, just flap!” Yoshi hollered. The ceiling of the Glasshouse below was fast approaching.

  “If we survive this, I’m going to kill you!” she squawked. With all her might, she flapped. They slowed their descent, but it was too little, too late.

  THUD…

  Yoshi landed bum-first on the glass. Soph fell onto his chest and bounced off. His head crunched into the glass, spider cracks forming.

  Dazed, he stared up. The swaying tree extended up to infinity. Debris rained all around him, glass shattering all around him as it landed. For some reason or another, a yellow, noxious cloud hung around the cottage, slowly spreading across the sky.

  20

  Coming Together

  One week later…

  Hi Yoshi, hope you’re feeling better. Can you drop by the OOTM today? –C.

  “Where are we going today?” Starry asked. The sun was beating down on Sapphire. Yoshi and his girlfriends were making the most of the warm, sunny morning, going for a stroll.

  “We’re going to visit Chester,” he answered.

  None of his girlfriends responded. Not a ‘why?’, or a ‘where?’, not even an ‘OK.’ They silently followed their trainer, thoughts of the chaos they were a part of rewinding over and over in their minds.

  Yoshi stopped and turned around, his girlfriends mirroring him. “Arlif.” The grass-type stood at the back, staring off to the side. Yoshi walked past his first four girlfriends and stood in front of her. He turned around and squatted in front of her.

  “Come on.”

  “What?” Her soft voice broke and she cleared her throat.

  “He wants to give you a piggyback,” Flick said, a warm smile on her face.

  Yoshi sensed her hesitation but waited. Eventually, her slender arms hugged his neck and she hopped forward, legs swinging to Yoshi’s side.

  He took the lead again. “Alright,” he said, hitching her up. “Let’s keep going.” She was petite, yes, but Arlif barely weighed anything. It was almost as if the wind could pick up and blow her away with a single gust.

  She rested her head on the back of his neck and sighed. “I miss her.”

  “I know,” Yoshi responded. “I’m sure she misses you too.” Hopefully, she’s happy now. She’s finally reunited with her husband - forever. Yoshi nodded to the Labby police standing guard on either side of the open gates of the Office of the Mayor and walked through.

  “Kell?”

  The grizzled man grinned at him from ear to ear.

  “Yoshi.” He reached forward and gave Yoshi a firm handshake. Funny what a haircut, a shave and not being used as a sperm bank does to a man. He was almost unrecognizable.

  “Hello, my name is Professor Thorn.” The man in a lab coat standing next to Kell extended his hand.

  “I know,” Yoshi said, greeting him. “I came to your seminar at the Guild.” He looked pointedly at Kell, who acknowledged his knowing look.

  “Thank you all for coming on such short notice,” Chester said. He was sitting at a classy desk that was so polished Yoshi could see his face in it. “I’m sure you’re all wondering why I asked you to come here today.”

  Yoshi and his girlfriends stood at the other side, facing Professor Thorn and Kell.

  “Sapphire has been under siege these last few weeks. This has called our reputation as a safe and welcoming city into question.”

  Yoshi nodded slowly. He’s only been mayor for a bit over a week and he’s already sounding the part.

  He looked at Professor Thorn. “We had the privilege of having Professor Thorn visiting us to spread his knowledge about male and female genetics.” Thorn inclined his head. “Unfortunately, it appeared that the rogue organization, Team Boom, had infiltrated not only the Sapphire Breeders Club, but indeed, the entire Breeders’ Organization of Ohno.”

  “It is an absolute disgrace,” the professor said, shaking his head. “Under a shell organization, Team Boom donated large sums of money to fund my research on mapping male TPs. I was overjoyed; finally, someone understood and appreciated the potential of my research! When the Breeders’ Organization of Ohno approached me to suggest using each city to collect samples, I didn’t stop to think how incredibly coincidental it was that this occurred within a month of the first donation.” He sighed heavily. “To think they were using the samples for their own conniving intentions, I…”

  “Professor, it isn’t your fault,” Chester reassured. “To their credit, if any can be given, it appeared that their shenanigans didn’t compromise your scientific method. That is what you said before Yoshi came, right?”

  “Yes, yes, very true, Mr. Mayor,” Professor Thorn said. “It appeared that having as many samples as possible was also their modus operandi.”

  “I don’t know what modus operandi means,” Labby #230 said, who had been standing quietly beside Chester the entire time. “What I do know and can confirm is that Team Boom was looking for some sort of genetic mutation that produced offspring with stronger stats.”

  “Genes which Yoshi and I both have,” Kell finished off neatly.

  “It’s called the Response Gene,” Thorn explained. “A 1-in-25,000, naturally occurring mutation that identifies the TPs that are going to be passed from the girlfriend to the offspring and then dynamically selects the other TPs from the male side to complete the set, such that the offspring will have a balanced TP profile across the board.”

  “Or in layman’s terms, say a girlfriend we have sex with passes on Speed and Attack to our kid. Our sperm is smart enough to pass on HP, Defence, Special Attack and Defence to them,” Kell said.

  “Not quite, but on the right track,” Thorn said, a finger up in the air, “Current data shows that this only occurs for 1 in 5 offspring. One daughter will have ‘superpowered’ TPs, while the other four have the standard random distribution.”

  Yoshi glanced at the Labby. That’s why they destroyed so many of those eggs.

  “So they were trying to create as many of these superpowered offspring as possible for…?” Yoshi trailed off.

  “Who knows?” Chester said darkly, tenting his fingers. “Perhaps they’re trying to make the occurrence 1 in 4 or 1 in 3.”

  “Or 1 in 1,” Labby #230 suggested.

  “My dear, that is statistically impossible,” Thorn said. “That would require every male in Ohno to possess the Response Gene, meaning we would all have to be ‘evolved’ as it were. Maybe in literally a million years, but not in our lifetimes.”

  “Is there anything me and Kell can do to help out?” Yoshi asked. “Do you want more samples, or…”

  The professor held up a hand. “I have enough of your sperm to last me a lifetime.”

  Soph snorted, then slapped her hands over her beak.

  “We were able to rescue a few of your daughters from the Pink Light District. We’ve looked after them and they’re already at full maturity and at least level 5. They rightfully belong to you.”

  “Oh Frank, so I’m a dad,” Yoshi said in shock. He glanced at his girlfriends, who had mixed expressions.

  “Congratulations, daddy,” Flick said with a wry smile.

  “We’ll have them sent over to your GGN as an adoption request, but it’s not a typical adoption,” #230 said.

  “I also wanted to give you this.” Professor Thorn reached down and picked up a box from a bag on the ground.

  Yoshi stared at it. “That’s…”

  “The GF-wiki Cascade X, yes,” Thorn said. He handed it to Yoshi, who carried it like it was made of fine bone china.

  “Didn’t you say that one of your volunteers who provided a sample to your project was going to be picked at random for this?”

  “I changed my mind,” Thorn said. “I want to be rid of it as soon as possible. This entire ordeal with Team Boom masquerading as the Breeders Club has left a rather sour taste in my mouth.”

  “
That’s the taste of cum,” Soph whispered. Starry shot her an exasperated look and she dissolved into a puddle of muted giggles, a few feathers falling to the ground.

  “I mean I’ll take it, but…” He looked up at Kell, who shook his head.

  “I don’t want it. Don’t want any reminder of this whole ordeal. I just want to be back on the road, picking my battles and raising my girls.”

  No. Fricking. Way!

  You have obtained GF-wiki Cascade X!

  This limited-edition version of the GF-wiki has up-to-date stats on TPs for all the girlfriends of Ohno.

  “I’ve actually uploaded a new module since the last time I gave my talk. You’re able to store your own TP and stat profile on the GF-wiki as well, making a best-guess estimate on a theoretical level based on that data. Just give it a blood sample, it will analyze and keep a record of it.” Thorn explained. “Anyway, I’d best be off. All this business has been mighty distracting but that research won’t synthesize itself.”

  “I’m heading off too, actually,” Kell said. “My girlfriends and I have some… catching up to do.” They both looked at Chester, who excused them.

  Yoshi shook hands with them again and took their contact details. “Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” Kell said. They left the room, closing the door behind them.

  Yoshi swung his bag down and opened it. Just as he was about to put his new GF-wiki in, he stopped.

  “I completely forgot about this,” he said, taking the SM his girlfriends took from Cava out of his bag. “This was on a Team Boom girlfriend.”

  Chester eyed it as Yoshi placed it on the polished table and slid it across to #230.

  “Bowel Explosion…” Chester murmured. “This is the move Crocop ordered his girlfriends to use in the PLD.”

  “Thank you for handing this in,” the police dog said. “We’ve been suspecting that Team Boom has been producing bootleg Special Machines for a while now. As far as I know, this will be the first SM in its unboxed state that we’ll have.”

  “Make sure you don’t lose this one too,” Chester quipped.

  The hairs on the back of the police dog’s neck stood on end and her nose twitched.

  “I’m kidding,” Chester said.

  “It’s not a joke, Mr. Mayor,” #230 said stiffly. “And you’ve just broken protocol.”

  “I did no such thing,” Chester huffed. “I didn’t even say what it was the police force lost.”

  “Sir!” She barked.

  “It’s OK, #230,” he said getting to his feet. “If my reports are correct, Yoshi’s not only seen the artefact that was taken. He was intimately involved with its creation.” He raised one eyebrow conspiratorially.

  Yoshi stared at him non-plussed.

  “It’s the canister of light.” Everyone looked at Crystal. She looked calmly at Chester, who gave her the slightest of winks. “The Chernoire showed it to Yoshi in the interrogation room after she removed it from the Team Boom weapon.”

  “Wait,” Yoshi said slowly. “I thought that the FESS took that back to Amethyst already?”

  “Apparently not,” Chester said. “Apparently, it was hidden away in our police station all this time and apparently, it wasn’t hidden very well.”

  “I assure you, it was very well hidden,” #230 growled. “There were several security checks in place. Only someone who had the appropriate clearance could have come in and removed the artefact.”

  “Do you know who it was?” Chester asked.

  The police dog snapped her jaw shut. “Scardino… took us off guard. It appeared that the theft happened at the height of her destruction.”

  Mention of his mother put a damper on his jovial mood. “If the capital tries to strong-arm you into admitting to negligence, put them on to me.” He put a hand on her furred shoulder. “I’ve got a feeling that they’re looking for a scapegoat.”

  “Thank you, sir, that’s kind of you.” #230 said, relaxing again.

  He sighed. “It’s my job now and please, none of this ‘sir’ business. You’ve known me far too long to know it makes me cringe.”

  #230 saluted. She turned and walked out the door, nodding to Yoshi and his girlfriends before she left.

  “So, Yoshi,” he said, sitting back down. “Where to now?”

  “Well, I still need to get the Sapphire badge.”

  Chester winced. “Yeah, about that. I’m a bit busy with this whole mayor thing.”

  Yoshi was going to ask if he wanted to be mayor and gym leader at the same time, but a completely different question came out of his mouth.

  “Are you OK?”

  Chester gave him a faint smile. “I’m… OK.”

  “It’s OK to talk, you know,” Flick said. She walked over to his desk and sat on top of the edge. She was a warm shade of orange-red. “You helped us so much, the least we can do is listen to you rant.”

  He laughed out loud. “There’s nothing new to rant about. You’ve had front row seats to it all.”

  “You can learn a lot from Chester, bossman,” Soph said, eyeing her trainer. “Both parents dead and still doesn’t complain.”

  “Soph!” Yoshi snapped.

  “Nah, nah,” he said, waving airily. “I’m fine, really. Like I told you last time, I never knew my mom and wasn’t that close to Dad.”

  He slid open a drawer on the side of the table and pulled a bunch of documents out, dropping them on the table. “Correspondence going back to when I was a kid, with none other than our favorite terrorist organisation, Team Boom. The Big Dish, the canals, the port, the slide system…” He sifted through each set of documents, one by one. “Millions and millions of Coins over nearly a decade.”

  “Is there anything in there where he explains why he abandoned Lady Scardino?” Arlif asked quietly.

  Chester frowned, sorting through the entire stack then started again. “Aha, here it is. The contract for the Glasshouse.”

  Yoshi and his girlfriends watched him as he fingers brushed the paper, line by line. He stopped at one particular point.

  “What does it say?” Arlif urged.

  Chester rested his hand on the paper. “That he could build the Glasshouse on the condition that he never see her ever again.”

  “And if he did?”

  Chester sighed. “She dies.”

  “What sort of sick fuck would create a contract like that?” Soph squawked.

  “What sort of sick fuck would agree to it?” Chester murmured.

  “No,” Arlif said. “Your father loved Lady Scardino very much. So much so that he would build her the Glasshouse so that she wouldn’t feel homesick even if it meant that they couldn’t see each other ever again.”

  “They wanted to test Trev’s loyalty, so they made him choose – virtually unlimited money and building Sapphire to be the greatest city in all of Ohno, or his wife.”

  Chester placed his palms on the table and bowed his head. “Wrong choice, Dad.”

  “He said that he believed that you would do a much better job than him in leading Sapphire,” Yoshi said. “I speak on behalf of everyone in this room when I say that I believe the same thing.”

  “Regretfully, I have to agree with my trainer,” Soph said. The other girlfriends giggled.

  Chester looked up. “Thank you Yoshi, and thank you, Yoshi’s girlfriends. Your friendship has been invaluable during this period.”

  “We should be thanking you, Chester,” Starry said.

  “There is actually one more thing you guys can do for me, if you are up for it.” He opened another drawer and pulled a piece of paper. He fanned them out. Make that seven, long, thin pieces of paper.

  “The S.S. Cruisy McCruiseface is docked at Sapphire port, headed for her maiden voyage in the next couple of days. I’ve been invited to go but am a bit swamped. I’d hate for these tickets to go to waste. Do you want to…?”

  “Yoink!” Soph said, snatching the tickets right out of the mayor’s hand.

  “Soph, manners!” Yoshi moaned.
>
  Chester laughed. “It’ll head south, circle the Agate Islands and come back. All in all, five days. There’s going to be a whole lot of trainers on board. Good chance to train up, trade girlfriends, rub shoulders with the rich and the famous.”

  “Sounds awesome,” Yoshi said.

  “Great. I’ll make sure to let the captain know, since he was the one who gave me the tickets. Sapphire port, noon in two days. I’ll see you there.”

  Part II

  All Aboard The S.S. Cruisy McCruiseface!

  21

  Before Boarding

  “Hi, I got a message from Mission Central.”

  “Name please?” the cheerful Chippie asked.

  “Yoshi Soysauce.”

  She looked between her monitors, deftly typing and scrolling her mouse, her pink, triangular nose twitching. “Yep, just found you. You’re here to claim your reward then?”

  Yoshi blinked. “Reward?”

  “Mmhmm!” she nodded. “You signed up for a missing persons mission #080221. It was sponsored by the Citrine Police and syndicated to every Guild in Ohno. The Sapphire Police have attached a report here.”

  The Chippie spun the monitor around.

  “Holy crap, that’s Kell!” How did I not realize that when I saw him?

  “Yep, Kellagher Tars.” She spun it back around. “Can I have your cell please? I’ll authorize the transfer of funds. It should hit your account within one to two business days.”

  Still staring at where the monitor had displayed his picture, Yoshi dumbly handed her his smartphone. “Wait, how much was the reward again?”

  “30,000 smackaroonies?!” Soph squawked.

  “That’s a lot of money,” Starry mused. “What are you going to do with it?”

  “Not sure yet,” Yoshi said, staring at the Bank of Ohno app. A new, limited-edition GF-wiki and now 30,000 Coins richer… how tables can turn.

  “You should hold onto it,” Flick said. “Didn’t Chester say that there were several VIPs on this boat we’re going on tomorrow? You never know what you might need it for.”