by Ryan Casey
They’d butchered them.
They hadn’t hesitated.
The only person they seemed keen on allowing to survive was Holly.
But as he moved closer towards us, I felt the wind on the back of my neck and the hairs on my body stood on end. I looked around. It felt like there were others moving in on us, surrounding us. I thought I heard voices, whispers. I didn’t know. I couldn’t know.
I just knew we couldn’t afford to mess around right now.
The man stopped a few metres in front of the bush. I wondered if he was going to speak. If he was going to make some kind of grand statement. I hadn’t heard these people speak. Not yet.
In the end, he did.
“There’s no point hiding. I know where you are.”
When he spoke, my stomach sank. His voice was deep and emotionless. I was hoping for some evidence that the man behind the mask wasn’t all that much, really. That he showed some evidence of his overall human side.
But he didn’t. In fact, after hearing him, I was even more afraid.
He sounded like there was going to be no bargaining with him.
“Just step out. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
I looked at Holly and I saw the fear in her eyes. She was holding my hand so tight now that my fingertips felt like they were going to fall off. In the other hand, I held the axe.
“Don’t leave me with him,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t—don’t let him take me. Please.”
I wanted to promise that I wasn’t going to.
But the only way I could promise anything like that was either by running away, or standing up and fighting.
And if I stood up and fought, there was a chance I’d fall, unable to protect Holly any longer.
If we ran… there was a chance we’d run into the wrong people, or fail to outrun this man.
So I did the only thing I could.
I took the only option that seemed like it could possibly buy us any more time.
I stood up.
I looked over the top of the bush at the man, and he looked back at me. He was well-built, athletic looking, with a black T-shirt underneath a bomber jacket and slim black jeans. Honestly, without the mask, he probably looked normal enough.
But that was what made him even scarier.
He was a normal man wearing a mask.
What had driven him to this point?
What had gone so wrong for him that he’d decided this was the best way of surviving?
“I’m not going to let the girl go,” I said, doing my best not to stutter. “That’s just something you’re going to have to understand.”
The man tilted his head. I could only just make out his brown eyes behind that mask. “And you’re going to have to understand that’s not how things work.”
He took a few long strides towards the bush.
“You are going to let the girl go,” he said.
Another few steps closer to us.
“Or I’m going to take her from you. And I don’t think it’s fair that her last memory of you should be of me butchering you and your dog. Is it?”
I looked at Holly and she looked back up at me. I didn’t want that. So what was the safest thing to do?
No. I couldn’t even consider handing her over, even if it meant she ended up safer. There was no chance of that. Not with these savages.
So I looked back at the man. He had his blade risen slightly now.
“You can walk away from us. You can pretend you didn’t find us. We’ll stay out of your way. You can get on with your life, we can get on with ours. We pretend none of this happened.”
There was another pause from the man, like he was mulling over what I was saying. It filled me with hope. Maybe there was a human under that mask. Maybe he wasn’t too far gone.
Then he let out a chuckle. “You missed your chance.”
He pulled back his knife and swung it towards us.
I toppled backwards. Holly fell beside me. I kept hold of her hand because I wasn’t letting her go, no matter what.
I let go of Lionel’s lead though, instinctively.
I scrambled for the axe of my own. I could fight. I had to fight. There was no other way about it now.
I saw the man step around the bush.
I watched him lift his blade.
And then, something happened.
Lionel jumped up at him.
I wanted to stop Lionel. I didn’t want him to get involved. I didn’t want anything to happen to him.
But he growled furiously at the man, clamping his jaws around his neck.
The man fell back, Lionel on top of him.
And at that moment, I saw my opportunity.
I stepped away from Holly.
I kicked away the long blade, which the man had dropped, as Lionel kept on biting down on his neck, the man desperately trying to push him off.
Then I pulled the man’s Venetian mask away and looked him in his eyes.
I saw fear. I saw desperation. More than anything, I saw a normal guy. A normal guy just caught up in this mess like everyone else.
“Please,” he said. “Please.”
I took a deep breath.
Then I pulled back the axe and slammed it into his skull.
When I was sure he was dead, I looked back at Holly.
She stared at me, wide-eyed, like she was horrified with what she’d witnessed.
“Come on,” I said, walking over to her, Lionel—blood-soaked jaws and all—by my side. “It’s time to go.”
We walked away from the dead man, his Venetian mask split in two, and on to whatever was ahead of us.
But I knew right now that I was a changed man.
And I knew that was the man I had to be willing to be.
As terrifying as that was.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
We walked in silence, but I could tell that there was something Holly wanted to say.
And to be honest, deep down, I knew it was about the man I’d just killed.
It was late. The sun had set and we were walking in the darkness, something that was never pleasant. We were just trying our best to make our way to somewhere we could shelter for the night.
In a way though, I was glad we were on the move. We’d lost the bulk of our minimal supplies back at the camp where we’d been held. We had no sleeping bags, no food, not even any water. We were completely all out. The way I saw it, the more we kept moving, the better. Not only was it keeping us warm, but it was increasing our chances of stumbling upon some form of help, whether it be help in the form of food, water, or whatever.
As long as it wasn’t “help” in the form of other people, then everything was all good.
I looked to my side at Holly. Even though it was dark, the moon was bright, so I could make out her face. Every time I glanced at her, she turned away. She’d been looking at me. And I knew why.
“If you’ve got something to say, Holly, now’s the time to say it.”
She didn’t say a thing. She just kept on walking, as too did Lionel.
I listened to everything. The wind. Our footsteps. I wanted to be totally aware of our surroundings. I didn’t like that masked group one bit. Sure, I wasn’t the biggest fan of anyone anymore. But that masked group in particular… I was creeped out by them. I didn’t understand them, and that unpredictability terrified me.
I glanced down at Holly again, and caught her looking at me.
I stopped walking. She stopped too.
“Holly, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“We have to be honest with each other, kid. If we’re going to make it, we have to be honest.”
She lowered her head and looked at the ground. Then, she glanced up again. “I just… That man. What you did to him.”
I sighed. “That man was trying to kill me and Lionel. And he would’ve taken you away to face a fate far worse than death.”
“But you didn’t have to kill him.
”
I scratched my head. To be honest, I was disappointed in Holly for being disappointed in me. I’d saved her life, no doubt about it. I kept on having flashes of those children that had been with the masked group and I knew that if I hadn’t acted, Holly would’ve ended up like them.
She was a smart kid. And sure, I couldn’t ever see her willingly turning into one of those dead-eyed children.
But at the same time, she’d lost so much already. If she just lost some more… and then was made to break… hell, who knows what she’d become?
I crouched opposite her and held her hands. “I did what I did because as far as I saw it, there was no other way.”
“You could’ve left him. After what Lionel did. He probably would’ve died anyway. But you… you…”
“Don’t think about it,” I said. “I made a call. And I think it was the right call. We’re safe now, you, me and Lionel. We’re still alive. As far as I see it, we didn’t have much of a chance of surviving if that man had—”
“But it’s not about that man, is it?”
When Holly said those words, I felt my insides lurching. Because she was right. It wasn’t about that other man I’d killed, not really. It was the fear. The fear of two things.
One, of loss.
And the other, of death.
I didn’t want to lose anyone else. I didn’t want to lose Holly or Lionel. Because losing them would leave me totally alone in this world.
The two final individuals I’d bonded with that were left. I couldn’t have them taken away from me, not since I’d beaten the odds bonding with them in the first place.
And then the fear of death…
I didn’t want to die.
I wanted to believe there was something better out there. Something for me and Holly and Lionel. I didn’t believe in other people. I didn’t trust other people.
But I had to believe that there was a light at the end of this dark, EMP-struck tunnel.
Because if I didn’t, then what was the point of anything?”
“I did what I did because I’m afraid,” I said. “And that fear is going to keep you and me alive.”
She looked at me reluctantly.
Then she moved towards me and hugged me.
“I miss my mum.”
I put my hands on her back and closed my eyes. I thought of Sue, and Aiden, and all the people we’d lost. “I miss them too,” I said.
We crouched there, holding one another, together in the darkness, lit up only by the moonlight.
“I’m going to keep you safe,” I said. “No matter what it takes.”
And I meant that.
I really meant that.
I’d kill more if I had to.
I’d butcher everyone who came our way, if I had to.
And Holly was just going to have to live with that.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
B looked at the mess of G’s body and he felt a twinge of sadness deep within.
The moon shone down from above. The wind was strong, and B could see his breath. He knew it was freezing cold, and that he’d like to be sitting around a nice, warm fire back at home…
Then he stopped those thoughts. He halted them right in their tracks.
That wasn’t the world he lived in anymore.
Nobody lived in that world anymore.
He had to neutralise the feelings. A had taught him that before he’d died.
And he’d been a good student. A very good student. He’d lived the life A wanted him to live, carried on his legacy.
That’s what he would keep on doing.
But even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to be reactionary, more pragmatic, B couldn’t help feeling enraged at the sight of G’s body lying there on the ground, mutilated. His head had been sliced in two. Worst of all, his mask was by his side, broken, splattered with blood.
He had been degraded and then he had been left here on display. As far as B saw it, it was a message. A threat.
He walked past G’s body and looked closely at his neck.
There was no doubting it. There were pieces of brown fur on his neck. The toothmarks. They were from an animal.
A dog.
B knew who had done this. He knew who was responsible for this.
And he was going to take more than a nose from him when he found him.
He knew he shouldn’t let emotion get the better of him. He knew he should be pragmatic, and move on to someone else. There would be others out there. Other young soldiers to add to their armies. Other children to raise by the rules of the new world. And he would find them. He would spread the good word far and wide.
But he could feel his emotions getting the better of him as he scrunched up the dog’s fur between his fingers and looked down at his friend’s blood-soaked body.
He was going to find the man.
He was going to find the little girl who was with him.
And he was going to take her away from him, while he watched…
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
We were so focused on trying to find shelter for the night that before we knew it, morning arrived.
We’d been walking all night. My feet were blistered and sore, but that was something I was just used to now. My mouth was dry as dehydration started to kick in, the cold of winter tightening its grip. All around us, I saw trees. I didn’t know where we were exactly anymore. To be honest, it didn’t really matter that much. We didn’t have any real destination in mind so there was no point trying to memorise the locations that the old world defined. All that mattered, really, was that we found safety. And finding safety meant staying the hell out of the way of everyone who might jeopardise that for us.
I listened to the slowing footsteps of both Holly and Lionel beside me. I knew we were running on reserves when Lionel—so usually full of energy—actually sat down and lay with his head on his paws.
I looked at him sympathetically. “Wish I could carry you, lad. But that’s not gonna happen. Not anytime soon.”
He made a little high pitched sighing noise and I figured he’d understood exactly what I’d just said.
“Do you think we’re safe from the bad people yet?” Holly asked.
It was the first thing she’d said in a long time. And it posed an interesting question. Were we safe from the bad people? From the lunatics who had chased us just yesterday?
Of course, I knew what the answer to my own question was, and to Holly’s question. I looked back into the woods and wondered what was back there; what was waiting for us, what was coming our way. “We’ll never be safe from the bad people,” I said. “That’s why we have to keep moving.”
Holly sighed as we began our walk again. But it was Lionel I was really worried about. He seemed to be stopping every few seconds and panting. He wasn’t a young dog, but he didn’t exactly come across as ancient, either. I didn’t know how old he was for sure. Just that he seemed like a trusty companion to Derek before Derek had died, and it seemed like he’d been his companion for years.
“I’m hungry,” Holly said.
I sighed. “We’ll find some food soon.”
“But where?”
I heard Holly’s temper flaring up again and I didn’t feel like I was in a position to deal with it. Every now and then, I got those reminders that Holly wasn’t really my child, and that she wasn’t totally my responsibility.
But then I felt awful whenever I thought that way. Of course she was my responsibility. She’d be my responsibility for as long as we were together, and after that, too. Sure. I couldn’t lie. I did sometimes fantasise about being alone, about not having to worry about anyone but myself.
But at the same time, the thought of that loneliness scared me. It turned out company was better after all.
I decided to begin my berry hunt again, but it didn’t exactly go well. Besides, we didn’t even have any basic supplies, so setting up a trap wasn’t going to be easy. There were methods. Methods that Haz had taught me—of catching small anim
als, of catching fish. But I wasn’t as good as he was. I still needed things like string, rope; supplies that man had crafted.
I did worry sometimes what would happen when I couldn’t find any man-made supplies. Perhaps today was that day; the day when everything changed.
But I kept on searching anyway because there wasn’t going to be much chance of us surviving for too long if we didn’t have any food. And water… water was a whole other ballgame. I knew how to filter it, several ways. But there were no streams nearby, and there hadn’t been rain or snow for a long time. The snow that had fallen and the ice that had formed had melted, and was growing more inconspicuous by the day.
We were running out of luck. And that meant we would have to go into the suburbs, or the city, and hope for the best.
Otherwise, we were dead.
We’d got lucky this far. We weren’t going to get lucky forever.
I looked at Holly, who was sitting down now. And Lionel, head on her lap. My blistering toes told me I wanted to sit down too, that I should just take a breather and give up for now—but the urgency of the situation and my responsibilities weighed down on me.
“We’re going to get out of the woods,” I said. “We’re going to find some supplies. And…”
I stopped, then.
I stopped because I’d seen something, right behind Holly and Lionel.
I crept past them, over towards what I’d seen, just past the trees.
“What is it?” Holly asked.
I saw a smouldering fire.
On it, I saw a piece of meat. Squirrel.
Beside that, a half-empty tin of beans.
And behind that, a tent.
“Keep quiet,” I said. “Keep low. And keep an eye on Lionel.”
“What are you going to do?” Holly asked.
I tightened the grip around my axe. And there could be no mistaking my intentions this time. “I’m going to do what I have to do.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I tightened my grip on the axe and prepared to do what I had to do.
I could see the smoke still coming from the fire in front of the tent. I could smell the flesh of that squirrel meat charring away and it made me salivate probably more than Lionel was salivating right now. My heart picked up in pace when I saw that half-empty tin of beans. You know, a tin of anything was absolute gold dust nowadays. You have no idea how much I wanted to just eat whatever was inside it, even if it was cold.