"I've got paper and a pen." Justan stated, his voice sounding the same as at the auction. I pushed that aside and stopped, the sound of crunching gravel mimicking my move, and silencing.
I turned around and walked quickly to the car, getting in the backseat. Justan handed me a clipboard with tons of paper on it, and an ink pen.
"How did you-" Matt stopped, and when I glanced up, Justan was shaking his head.
I looked back down at the paper and wrote what had been dancing in my head the whole time I was walking. It wasn't exactly a poem, but it was pretty good. I had to re-write it a few times before it came out, and actually sounded like I'd thought it.
"Please save my soul. Release it from the deepest depths of hell. In which it is promised to parish for all eternity." I read under my breath.
"What was that?" Justan asked, looking in the review mirror. I hadn't even noticed the car was turned around and driving toward the house, until just then.
I shook my head and looked back down at the paper. I thought it was good. Until I read it over again. I was just about to ball it up when I remembered the promise I made to my mom.
She had found my notebook, and was reading through it. When I walked into the room, she smiled at me and said, "Promise not to throw this away. It's really good Sweetie. Write all your work in here, and keep it. Promise?" I just nodded at her, and that was the first time she showed me her notebook. The one that she had been writing songs down in since she was 8 years old, just like me with my poems. I was 10 at the time, and only been writing for two, maybe three, years, I barely had anything either.
Thinking of that time brought tears to my eyes, and before I knew it, they were cascading down my cheeks. When I looked up again, I saw Justan looking at me, again, in the review mirror. I sighed and looked down at the paper, blinking the blurriness away, and doodling the rest of the way "home".
As soon as the car was stopped, I got out and made my way up to Justan's room. I walked over to the closet, slid the door open, and plopped down onto my butt. I crossed my legs, sat the clipboard and pen down, then reached for one of my bags. I pulled out the little, battered, red and white composition notebook and jotted my little thing down on the back page of one of my recent poems. For some reason, I've been trying to save up space in the book, and have been using the backs of pages.
"That's really good." I jumped at the sound of Justan's voice, slamming my book shut in the process. "One of the best mini-poems you've written." He mumbled and I turned to look up at him.
"How did you know I wrote poems?" His faced paled slightly and he just stared at me for a few minutes.
"Your dad told me." He finally answered. But, I knew that was a lie, my dad never knew I wrote poetry.
"Oh, okay." I mumbled, turning back around and putting all my things away, neatly as they were before.
I'll find out what you're hiding from me sooner or later. I thought as Justan walked back down the stairs.
Chapter 17
"Lilli." I heard someone mumble softly, shaking me. "Lilli." They whispered harsher. "Get up!" I felt whoever it was shove me off the bed.
"Wha?!" When did I fall asleep?
"You fell asleep." Matty said, sitting on the bed. I glared at him as I stood up and walked to the closet.
"No shit sherlock." I said as I opened the door and grabbed one of my bags.
"You're in Justan's room." He said slowly, as if I wouldn't get it.
"Yep." I said, finally giving up hiding my body and grabbing my "booty" shorts that were red with a black hem type thing, and a black tank top that went a little past my hips. It was damn hot, and the clothes I had on were too heavy. I was use to having to wear skimpy clothes that I wasn't comfortable in while around the house and baggy clothes in public, so I guess that's why I picked those clothes out really. Like I said: my dad is possessive; he didn't want anyone seeing my body while we were in public. But, unlike when my dadforced picked my clothes for me, I was comfortable in the ones I chose.
"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!" Matt screamed, pulling a pillow over his head, as I started to pull my shirt off.
"Changing." I said slowly, still pulling my shirt off.
"In front of me?" Matt asked slowly, putting the pillow down.
"Don't see why not. I have underwear on. They're just like a bathing suit." I said through my tank top as I pulled it over my head. I situated my bra straps before throwing my over sized red shirt onto my bag.
"Most girl won't change in front of guys." Matt said, sounding sorta sad. I nearly laughed at his tone, but the thought of how most girls would act after going through what I did stopped me.
"Well, I'm not most girls." I smirked as I pulled my jogging pants off and pulled my shorts on. I dug through a different bag for a pair of socks, and pulled out my red and black plaid ones. Not sure why, but they're my favorite.
"You must have a thing for red and black." Matt laughed, and my eyes caught on those glowing red numbers.
"And you must have a thing for waking people up at all hours of the night. Jesus! It's one o'clock in the freaking' morning!"
"Oh yeah! Justan probably won't be home tonight." My eyebrow raised.
Why do I give a shit? "Okay." I said slowly, sitting next to Matt on the edge of the bed, yawning.
"Got drunk and met some chick." He informed me. I don't know why that made my heart beat faster and my stomach hurt. Maybe I'm hungry.
"Why do I care?" I tried to laugh. Matt just shrugged.
"Okay, I'm off to the guest room." He said, stretching as he stood up. I didn't want him to go though. I didn't really want to be alone. "Night Lilli." I nodded, but couldn't stop my hand from grasping his wrist before he walked away.
"You can stay in here you know." I smiled softly.
"Are you sure, cause-"
"It's not like we're gonna have sex or anything. I just ... well, I don't wanna be alone." Matt returned my smile and laid down with me.
"Night." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist.
Me not thinking it was such a big deal, just let him. "Night." I echoed, cuddling my back into his chest before my eyes slowly drifted shut again.
Chapter 18
I was surprisingly warmer than usual when I started waking up this morning. I had my blankets, and Justan was wrapped around me ... wait. Justan was holding me?! I stumbled out of the bed, and looked behind me. There lay Matt, looking up at me like I had some kind of mental illness; a look that I receive quite a lot.
"What the hell are you-" Someone clearing their throat interrupted me. The strange thing, the sound didn't come from Matt, and I didn't interrupt myself. My eyes followed the floor, all the way to the corner across the room, which was shadowed. I looked to the side of me at the clock, and it was 6 o'clock in the morning, not so surprising that it was dark out.
Finally, my eyes cut through the thick layer of shadow, and I realized the throat clearer, was Justan.
"Like I was saying, what the hell are you doing in-" I looked back to Matt, continuing on. But, once again, I was interrupted. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME FOR?!" I burst. It wasn't only just now. He's been doing it since I got here, and it was bugging the crap out of me. My mind registered what had just left my mouth, and my hands flew up, attempting to force the words back in. You know ... it doesn't work so well.
"What the fuck are you doing in the bed with him?" He asked, stepping out of the corner. "Wearing that?" He added, causing me to look down at my attire. Suddenly, my dream faded from my memory, and last night filled it's place.
"Oh, now I remember." I laughed. That is, until Matt stood up, and I saw his Cat in The Hat boxers. My eyes widened. "Oh." I shifted my gaze to Justan, who was glaring at Matt, then at me. "Oh, no, no, no. I didn't-"
"Save your breath." My eyes widened at the coldness of his tone. "Get the hell out of my house." He growled to Matt, whom just sent me a wink, grabbed his clothes, and left the room. Assuming by the sound of the front door shut
ting, he also left the house. Now that there wasn't anyone else to hold it, Justan's gaze fell back to me. He glared harshly into my eyes, after letting his eyes travel my body. I don't think I was suppose to see that though.
"Justan, I didn't -"
"I told you to save your breath." He said, sounding more scary than I've ever heard him. I didn't know why he was so mad. I mean, it's not like we're together or anything. Well, he thought I fucked Matt .. in his bed .... Oh, well, I guess I'd be mad too. "Why would you do that?" His gaze fell to the bed.
"I told you, I didn't-"
"Don't you know what a rhetorical question is when you hear one?!" He barked. That wasn't rhetorical! I whimpered pathetically at the sound of his voice. He sounded just like my dad. "I let you stay in my house, take you away from the asshole of a father you have, allow you to sleep in my bed without even attempting to have sex with you, and you go and fuck my best friend?!" His voice boomed through the large bedroom and his fist clenched into tight fists, causing me to cower under his gaze. I didn't like this. My dad would do this whenever some guy on the street would look at me. I couldn't handle this, not again.
Being the weak, pathetic excuse of a human being I am, I burst into hysterical sobs right there. Usually I'd wait until I was alone. But, I wasn't with my dad, whom would hit me for crying. I put my head in my hands, therefore, missing Justan's face soften, and his hand beginning to come forward. Sadly, I never saw, nor felt his attempt of comfort, for he pulled back before I pulled my head up, and his face once again fell expressionless.
"You will be cleaning .. with Claireese." My sobs began to lessen. I knew this was going to happen. I just knew a guy being as sweet as he was was just too good to be true, for me. So what was the point in crying and giving myself a headache? To make the job harder on me? Psh, I don't think so.
"Yes sir." I mumbled, before walking out of the bedroom, and down the stairs before he could say anything else to me. My eyeliner that I'd left on last night had smeared, badly, and I felt grimy and wanted a bath. It didn't take long for me to find Claireese, and was ecstatic that I had. She comforted me immediately, and then showed me how to take care of the house. A butler, Jon was his name, informed us that "Master Justan" had left for the morning and wouldn't be back until late afternoon. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't even let me try to explain. I nearly burst into sobs once again, but followed Claireese around all the same, making sure to force my emotions to run cold.
Chapter 19
"C'mon Clair!" I laughed. Yep, it's been 3 hours, and I've already given her a nickname. Actually, we're friends now.
"N-no, I don't think I- I can't." She laughed nervously, going to put her shoes back on.
"Awe, yes you can!" I laughed as I slid over to her, pulling her with me. Thankfully, she wasn't in that ridiculous maids' outfit, and was just in jeans and a white tee-shirt, with socks; of course.
You see, we were cleaning the floor, when I remembered something my mom and I would do while cleaning the only hardwood floor in our house. So, I told Claireese to take her shoes of, put them by the door, and come with me back into the "ballroom". With that, I started to slide around the slick floor, in my socks. Of course I laughed hysterically when Clair fell on her butt, but I helped her up and we tried again. We've collided twice, and now she's afraid to slide down the banister with me. I didn't know I could have this much fun again.
"Oh, alright!" She laughed as we trotted up the stairs. Once at the top, I sat on the banister like you would a horse, after telling Claireese that you can sit with your legs over the side, or the way I did. Once she was situated, the same as me, for "it seems more safe that way", we began to slide down. I squealed happily nearly the whole way, and Clair laughed at my childish behavior.
"And how old are you?" She laughed once we were on our butts down at the bottom.
"Sixteen," I laughed, and it seemed contagious, for she started laughing too, "you?"
"Fifteen," she smiled, "sixteen in 2 days." My eyes widened.
"No way!" She just nodded, eying me curiously. "I'm throwing you a party!" I laughed, standing up and pulling her with me.
"Uh-"
"Yeah! And .. well, we have to wait for Justan to leave, but it'll be fun!" She sent me a bright smile, and I pulled her back on the floor. "Now, excuse me while I power slide." I smiled as I ran to the other end of the room, sliding on my socks for special effect, causing Clair to laugh. "Okay, watch it." I smiled, as she stood to the side. I took a deep breath, and ran about halfway across the large room, nearly loosing my balance, before dropping to my knees and sliding, by accident, out of the ball room completely.
Sadly, the next room was carpet, and I didn't get too far before falling flat on my face.
"That was awesome!" I laughed, turning around and looking toward the ballroom, pulling carpet pieces out of my mouth. Clair looked terrified, and I sent her a questioning look. "What are you-" I turned around to where she was staring and nearly shit myself.
There Justan was standing, at the front door, leaning in the doorway, a big smile across his face, staring at me. However, when my eyes landed on him, my eyes widened, and his face turned cold.
I shot up quickly, bowing to him as he closed the door. "I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to..um...sorry." I stuttered, terrified that he would hurt me just like dad did. I thought I heard him sigh, but convinced myself that it was just my imagination. "I'll just ... go." I mumbled, turning around and walking swiftly into the ballroom. Clair started giggling as we walked over and picked up the cleaning supply.
I couldn't bring myself to laugh, or even giggle. I was scared of him now, and I really didn't want this to happen.
A sound of something crashing, or breaking, made me jump nearly a foot off the ground, causing Clair to burst into laughter. I slapped her arm playfully, before walking back through the ballroom, and into the main room. My eyes widened when they landed on the door.
Chapter 20
There, in the front door, was a gaping hole. It didn't go all the way through, but there was a hole at least half way through it; very thick door. And on the floor in front of it ... was blood. Blood that trailed all the way to the stairs, staining the white carpet that lead up them. I heard Clair's soft gasp as her eyes caught sight of the scene, but ignored her calls for me and I walked slowly up the stairs, following the blood spots.
When I was up to Justan's room, where the trail ended, I heard things being thrown around. Then, his voice cut through the crashes.
"You dumb ass!" He shouted, to what seemed to be himself. "You scared her! You hurt her! You fucking asshole!" When I pushed the door open slightly, I saw the room in ruins, and Justan sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. He was talking to himself. "What? Who's there? Claireese is that you?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I crashed back to reality. By the time I realized that he was coming to the door, it was too late, he had my wrist. "What ... umm .." He didn't seem to be able to put a sentence together. I guessed that he had hurt that girl from the bar, but there was still that little bit of hope that he was talking about me.
"Yes sir?" I asked, earing myself to be pushed against the nearest wall. My eyes squinted shut, and I braced myself for pain.
"Don't you call me that Lil. You don't need to." He whispered right by my ear, causing shivers to interfere with my calm demeanor.
"Wh-what did you just call me?" I asked in a much softer whisper than his own.
"Lil." He repeated, not even trying to hide that he'd called me by a nickname for the very first time. "I-I'm sorry." He mumbled, his face coming closer to my neck. My breath hitched in my throat as, for the second (well, technically third) time since I've been with him, his lips pushed down on my "hot spot". "I-I didn't mean to get upset." He mumbled against my skin. I couldn't breathe, let alone respond. "Would you tell me what you were trying to tell me earlier?" Finally, I caught my breath, and found my voice, the first thing on my mind to be the first to pass my lips.
"I thought
you were going to be gone until this afternoon." I whispered, causing him to chuckled. His chuckle seemed intoxicating at the moment, and I really wanted to kiss him. No Lillith, no you don't. Tiffany warned me, and for once it made me feel crazy.
"I was trying to think, and came back early." He nuzzled his face into my neck, causing friction somewhere I didn't need it at.
"I-I...umm.." I wanted to tell him I felt uncomfortable, but .. I didn't really, and I didn't really want him to yell at me again. "I need to finish cleaning .." Was the brilliant excuse my brain came up with.
"Okay .." He mumbled, pulling his face out of my neck, but didn't bring his body away from mine. "I have a room you can clean." I nearly groaned, thinking he would make me clean the mess he just made. Instead, he opened a door that was near me, and gently pushed me in, closing the door behind himself before flipping the light switch on. "Now, you can clean, once you tell me what the he- I mean, what was going on with Matt." He calmed himself, surprisingly.
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