“Devin Logan,” he repeated, “from the Nightingale, Oregon, Town Council.” He paused. “I believe you’re acquainted with my daughter, Kate.”
“Yes, I remember Kate.” If her heart continued at this pace Rorie thought she’d keel over in a dead faint. Just as her pulse had started to slow, it shot up again. “Has anything happened?”
“The council meeting adjourned about ten minutes ago. Are you referring to that?”
“No…no, I mean has anything happened to Kate?”
“Not that I’m aware of. Do you know something I don’t?”
“I don’t think so.” This entire conversation was driving her crazy.
Devin Logan cleared his throat, and when he spoke his voice dropped to a deeper pitch. “I ’m phoning in an official capacity,” he said. “We voted at the Town Council meeting tonight to employ a full-time librarian.”
He paused again, and, not knowing what else to say, Rorie murmured, “Congratulations. Kate mentioned that the library was currently being run by part-time volunteers.”
“It was decided to offer you the position.”
Rorie nearly dropped the receiver. “I beg your pardon?”
“My daughter managed to convince the council that we need a full-time librarian for our new building. She also persuaded us that you’re the woman for the job.”
“But…” Hardly able to take in what she was hearing, Rorie slumped against the kitchen wall, glad of its support. Logan’s next remark was even more surprising.
“We’ll match whatever the San Francisco library is paying you and throw in a house in town—rent-free.”
“I…” Rorie’s mind was buzzing. Kate obviously thought she was doing her a favor, when in fact being so close to Clay would be utter torment.
“Miss Campbell?”
“I’m honored,” she said quickly, still reeling with astonishment, “truly honored, but I’m going to have to decline.”
A moment of silence followed. “All right…I’m authorized to enhance the offer by ten percent over the amount you’re currently earning, but that’s our final bid. You’d be making as much money as the fire chief, and he’s not about to let the Council pay a librarian more than he’s bringing home.”
“Mr. Logan, please, the salary isn’t the reason I’m turning down your generous offer. I…I want you to know how much I appreciate your offering me the job. Thank you, and thank Kate on my behalf, but I can’t accept.”
Another, longer silence vibrated across the line, as though he couldn’t believe what she was telling him.
“You’re positive you want to refuse? Miss Campbell, we’re being more than reasonable…more than generous.”
“I realize that. In fact, I’m flattered by your proposal, but I can’t possibly accept this position.”
“Kate had the feeling you’d leap at the job.”
“She was mistaken.”
“I see. Well, then, it was good talking to you. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet while you were in Nightingale. Perhaps next time.”
“Perhaps.” Only there wouldn’t be a next time.
Rorie kept her hand on the receiver long after she’d hung up. Her back was pressed against the kitchen wall, her eyes closed.
She’d regained a little of her composure when the doorbell chimed. A glance at the wall clock told her it was Dan, who’d promised to drop by that evening. She straightened, forcing a smile, and slowly walked to the door.
Dan entered with a flourish, handing her a small white bag.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Frozen yogurt. Just the thing for a girl with a hot keyboard. How’s the writing going?” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek.
Rorie walked into the kitchen and set the container in the freezer compartment of her refrigerator. “It ’s not. If you don’t mind, I’ll eat this later.”
“Rorie.” Dan caught her by her shoulders and studied her face. “You ’re as pale as chalk. What’s wrong?”
“I…I just got off the phone. I was offered another job—as head librarian…”
“But, darling, that’s wonderful!”
“…in Nightingale, Oregon.”
The change in Dan’s expression was almost comical. “And? What did you tell them?”
“I refused.”
He gave a great sigh of relief. His eyes glowed and he hugged her impulsively. “Does this mean what I think it does? Are you finally over that cowpoke, Rorie? Will you finally consent to be my wife?”
Rorie lowered her gaze. “Oh, Dan, don’t you understand? I’ll never get over Clay. Not next week, not next month, not next year.” Her voice was filled with pain, and with conviction. Everyone seemed to assume that, in time, she’d forget about Clay Franklin, but she wouldn’t.
Dan’s smile faded, and he dropped his arms to his sides. “I see.” Leaning against the counter, he sighed pensively and said, “I’d do just about anything in this world for you, Rorie, but I think it’s time we faced a few truths.”
Rorie had wanted to confront them long before now.
“You’re never going to love me the way you do that horseman. We can’t go on like this. It isn’t doing either of us any good to pretend your feelings are going to change.”
He looked so grim and discouraged that she didn’t point out that he was the one who’d been pretending.
“I’m so sorry to hurt you—it’s the last thing I ever wanted to do,” she told him sincerely.
“It isn’t as if I didn’t know,” he admitted. “You’ve been honest with me from the start. I can’t be less than honest with you. That country boy loves you. I knew it the minute he walked across the street without even noticing the traffic. The whole world would know,” he said ruefully. “All he has to do is look at you and everything about him shouts his feelings. He may be engaged to another woman, but it’s you he loves.”
“I wouldn’t fit into his world.”
“But, Rorie, you’re lost and confused in your own.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded. Until Dan said it, she hadn’t recognized how true that was. But it didn’t change the fact that Clay belonged to Kate. And she was marrying him within the month.
“I’m sorry,” Dan said, completely serious, “but the wedding’s off.”
She nearly laughed out loud at Dan’s announcement. No wedding had ever been planned. He’d asked her to marry him at least ten times since she’d returned from her vacation, and each time she’d refused. Instead of wearing her down as he’d hoped, Dan had finally come to accept her decision. Rorie felt relieved, but she was sorry to lose her friend.
“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” she told him, genuinely contrite.
He shrugged. “The pain will only last for a while. I’m ‘a keeper’ as the girls in the office like to tell me. I guess it’s time I put out the word that I’m available.” He wiggled his eyebrows, striving for some humor.
“You’ve been such a good friend.”
He cupped her face and gently kissed her. “Yes, I know. Now don’t let that yogurt go to waste—you’re too thin as it is.”
She smiled and nodded. When she let him out of the apartment, Rorie bolted the door then leaned against it, feeling drained, but curiously calm.
Dan had been gone only a few minutes when Rorie’s phone rang again. She hurried into the kitchen to answer it.
“Rorie? This is Kate Logan.”
“Kate! How are you?”
“Rotten, but I didn’t call to talk about me. I want to know exactly why you’re refusing to be Nightingale’s librarian—after everything I went through. I can’t believe you, Rorie. How can you do this to Clay? Don’t you love him?”
Sixteen
“Kate,” Rorie demanded. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Clay,” she said sharply, sounding quite unlike her usual self. “Now, do you love him or not? I’ve got to know.”
This day had been sliding steadily downhill from the moment
Rorie had climbed out of bed that morning. To admit her feelings for Clay would only hurt Kate, and Rorie had tried so hard to avoid upsetting the other woman.
“Well?” Kate said with a sob. “The least you can do is answer me!”
“Oh, Kate,” Rorie said, her heart in her throat, “why are you asking me if I love Clay? He’s engaged to you. It shouldn’t matter one little bit if I love him or not. I’m out of your lives and I intend to stay out.”
“But he loves you.”
The tears in Kate’s voice tore at Rorie’s already battered heart. She would’ve given anything to spare her friend this pain. “I know,” she whispered.
“Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
Only the world and everything in it. “Yes,” she murmured, her voice growing stronger.
“Then how could you do this to him?”
“Do what?” Rorie didn’t understand.
“Hurt him this way!”
“Kate,” Rorie pleaded. “I have no idea what you’re talking about—I’d never intentionally hurt Clay. If you insist on knowing, I do love him, with all my heart, but he’s your fiancé. You loved him long before I even knew him.”
Kate’s short laugh was riddled with sarcasm. “What is this? First come, first served?”
“Of course not—”
“For your information, Clay isn’t my fiancé anymore,” Kate blurted, her voice trembling. “He hasn’t been in weeks…since before he went to San Francisco for the horse show.”
Rorie’s head came up so fast she wondered whether she’d dislocated her neck. “He isn’t?”
“That’s…that’s what I just told you.”
“But I thought…I assumed…”
“I know what you assumed—that much is obvious—but it isn’t like that now and it hasn’t been in a long time.”
“But you love Clay,” Rorie muttered, feeling light-headed.
“I’ve loved him from the time I was in pigtails. I love him enough to want to see him happy. Why…why do you think I talked my fool head off to a bunch of hardnosed council members? Why do you think I ranted and raved about what a fantastic librarian you are? I as good as told them you’re the only person who could possibly assume full responsibility for the new library. Do you honestly think I did all that for the fun of it?”
“No, but, Kate, surely you understand why I have to refuse. I just couldn’t bear to come between you and—”
Kate wouldn’t allow her to finish, and when she spoke, her voice was high and almost hysterical. “Well, if you believe that, Rorie Campbell, then you’ve got a lot to learn about me…and even more about Clay Franklin.”
“Kate, I’m sorry. Please listen to me. There’s so much I don’t understand. We’ve got to talk, because I can’t make head or tail out of what you’re telling me and I’ve got to know—”
“If you have anything to say to me, Rorie Campbell, then you can do it to my face. Now, I’m telling Dad and everyone else on the council that you’ve accepted the position we so generously offered you. The job starts in two weeks and you’d damn well better be here. Understand?”
Rorie’s car left a dusty trail on the long, curving driveway that led to the Circle L Ranch. It’d been a week since the telephone call from Kate, and Rorie still had trouble assimilating what the other woman had told her. Their conversation repeated itself over and over in her mind, until nothing made sense. But one thing stood out: Kate was no longer engaged to Clay.
Rorie was going to him, running as fast as she could, but first she had to settle matters with his former fiancée.
The sun had begun to descend in an autumn sky when Rorie parked her car at the Logan ranch and climbed out. Rotating her neck and shoulders to relieve some of the tension there, Rorie looked around, wondering if anyone was home. She’d been on the road most of the day, so she was exhausted. And exhilarated.
Luke Rivers strolled out of the barn, and stopped when he saw Rorie. His smile deepened. It could’ve been Rorie’s imagination, but she sensed that the hard edge was missing from his look, as though life had unexpectedly tossed him a good turn.
“So you’re back,” he said by way of greeting.
Rorie nodded, then reached inside the car for her purse. “Is Kate here?”
“She’ll be back any minute. Usually gets home from the school around four. Come inside and I’ll get you a cup of coffee.”
“Thanks.” At the moment, coffee sounded like nectar from the gods.
Luke opened the kitchen door for her. “I understand you’re going to be Nightingale’s new librarian,” he said, following her into the house.
“Yes.” But that wasn’t the reason she’d come back, and they both knew it.
“Good.” Luke took two mugs from the cupboard and filled them from a coffeepot that sat on the stove. He placed Rorie’s cup on the table, then pulled out a chair for her.
“Thanks, Luke.”
The sound of an approaching vehicle drew his attention. He parted the lace curtain at the kitchen window and looked out.
“That’s Kate now,” he said, his gaze lingering on the driveway. “Listen, if I don’t get a chance to talk to you later, I want you to know I’m glad you’re here. I’ve got a few things to thank you for. If it hadn’t been for you, I might’ve turned into a crotchety old saddle bum.”
Before Rorie could ask what he meant, he was gone.
Kate burst into the kitchen a minute later and hugged Rorie as though they were long-lost sisters. “I don’t know when I’ve been happier to see anyone!”
Rorie’s face must have shown her surprise because Kate hurried to add, “I suppose you think I’m a crazy woman after the way I talked to you on the phone last week. I don’t blame you, but…well, I was upset, to put it mildly, and my thinking was a little confused.” She threw her purse on the counter and reached inside the cupboard for a mug. She poured the coffee very slowly, as if she needed time to gather her thoughts.
Rorie’s mind was whirling with questions she couldn’t wait for Kate to answer. “Did I understand you correctly the other night? Did you tell me you and Clay are no longer engaged?”
Kate wasn’t able to disguise the flash of pain that leaped into her deep blue eyes. She dropped her gaze and nodded. “We haven’t been in weeks.”
“But…”
Kate sat down across the table from Rorie and folded her hands around the mug. “The thing is, Rorie, I knew how you two felt about each other since the night of the Grange dance. A blind man would’ve known you and Clay had fallen in love, but it was so much easier for me to pretend otherwise.” Her finger traced the rim of the mug. “I thought that once you went home, everything would go back to the way it was before….”
“I was hoping for the same thing. Kate, you’ve got to believe me when I tell you I would’ve done anything in the world to spare you this. When I learned you and Clay were engaged I wanted to—”
“Die,” Kate finished for her. “I know exactly how you must have felt, because that’s the way I felt later. The night of the Grange dance, Clay kept looking at you. Every time you danced with a new partner, he scowled. He might have had me at his side, but his eyes followed you all over the hall.”
“He loves you, too,” Rorie told her. “That’s what makes this all so difficult.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Kate answered flatly, without a hint of doubt. “I accepted that a long time before you ever arrived. Oh, he respects and likes me, and to Clay’s way of thinking that was enough.” She hesitated, frowning. “To my way of thinking, it was, too. We probably would’ve married and been content. But everything changed when Clay met you. You hit him right between the eyes, Rorie—a direct hit.”
“I’m sure he feels more for you than admiration….”
“No.” Kate rummaged in her purse for a tissue. “He told me as much himself, but like I said, it wasn’t something I didn’t already know. You see, I was so crazy about Clay, I was willing to take whatever he offered me, eve
n if it was only second-best.” She swabbed at the tears that sprang so readily to her eyes and paused in an effort to gather her composure. “I ’m sorry. It’s still so painful. But you see, through all of this, I’ve learned a great deal about what it means to love someone.”
Rorie’s own eyes welled with involuntary tears, which she hurriedly brushed aside. Then Kate’s fingers clasped hers and squeezed tight in a gesture of reassurance.
“I learned that loving people means placing their happiness before your own. That’s the way you love Clay, and it’s the way he loves you.” Kate squared her shoulders and inhaled a quavery breath.
“Kate, please, this isn’t necessary.”
“Yes, it is, because what I’ve got to say next is the hardest part. I need to ask your forgiveness for that terrible letter I wrote after you left Nightingale. I don’t have any excuse except that I was insane with jealousy.”
“Letter? You wrote me a terrible letter?” The only one Rorie had received was the chatty note that had told her about Mary’s prize-winning ribbon and made mention of the upcoming wedding.
“I used a subtle form of viciousness,” Kate replied, her voice filled with self-contempt.
Rorie discounted the possibility that Kate could ever be malicious. “The only letter I got from you wasn’t the least bit terrible.”
Kate lowered her eyes to her hands, neatly folded on the table. Her grip tightened until Rorie was sure her nails would cut her palms.
“I lied in that letter,” Kate continued. “When I told you that Clay wouldn’t have time for you while he was at the horse show, I was trying to imply that you didn’t mean anything to him anymore. I wanted you to think you’d slipped from his mind when nothing could have been further from the truth.”
“Don’t feel bad about it. I’m not so sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing.”
“No, Rorie, you wouldn’t have. That letter was an underhand attempt to hold on to Clay…I was losing him more and more each day and I thought…I hoped that if you believed we were going to be married in October, then…Oh, I don’t know, my thinking was so warped and desperate.”
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