by Becky Durfee
“You know, that would be great. I’m pretty disgusting and sweaty, though.”
“I guess a five star restaurant is off the table, then. But we could hit a diner. Nothing beats the blues like greasy food and a milkshake.”
“A diner sounds perfect.”
Jenny and Susan sat across from each other in a booth in the nearly-deserted diner. Jenny was already on her second glass of water, still feeling grateful for the air conditioning. The scratches and bug bites on her legs were starting to make their presence known, and she longed for a shower. However, the thought of going back to the house and facing Greg was very unappealing.
“I’m glad I have you to talk to,” Jenny said. “If all of this was going on and I didn’t know anybody who’d been through it, I don’t know what I would do.”
“I’m glad to help,” Susan said. “I know it’s not easy.”
“It would be a whole lot easier if my husband was supportive. I could really use a hug when I get home, but what I’m going to get instead is an earful about how irresponsible I am for missing our appointment. Not only isn’t he making it better, he’s making it worse.”
“What kind of appointment was it?”
“We were supposed to look at cabinets. You saw the house; we’re renovating it, so there are lots of little choices to make. Honestly, I don’t really care about cabinets, but to Greg it’s a huge deal. The renovation is his number one priority, and in his mind all of this psychic business is getting in the way.”
“It really is a shame he doesn’t see the value in it,” Susan said. “That has to put a strain on your marriage.”
With a laugh, Jenny added, “That’s an understatement. Unfortunately I’ve also landed myself in a position where all of my friends are Greg’s friends, too, so I can’t even really talk to anyone about it. I don’t want to put anybody in the middle. Even my own family adores him. I don’t want to make any of them uncomfortable, either.” Jenny sighed. “I feel like you and Elanor are the only people I know who don’t have some kind of allegiance to Greg.”
“I’ve never met the man, so no danger here,” Susan declared.
“You might actually be a good friend to have in my corner,” Jenny said smiling. “I get the impression that you and your husband have a good relationship.”
Susan nodded while shrugging her shoulders. “We do, for the most part. I mean, all couples have their issues, but I think we’ve got a pretty good thing going.”
“It sounds like he respects you, at least. He recognizes the importance of what you do.”
Susan made a face. “Well, did I ever tell you how we met?”
“No, you’ve never said.”
“I solved his sister’s murder.”
Jenny’s blood ran cold. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”
“Well, I didn’t know her, but it’s always tragic when someone so young meets such a horrible fate.”
“So what happened?”
“She was a grad student, living alone in an off campus apartment. First floor. Some psychopath pried open her window, came in, and raped and strangled her in her own bed.”
“My God, that’s horrible.”
“I know. But she was a strong-willed one, Adam’s sister. She came to me very persistently with the same visions…a shamrock tattoo on the wrist, and a classroom. I worked with Adam to find out what her school schedule was, and we walked around to all of her different classrooms until I found the one she’d showed me. Sure enough, one of her classmates had that tattoo on his wrist. He’d had no criminal history, but some investigation led to a warrant. They got a DNA sample, and it matched the semen left at the crime scene. It was actually one of my simpler cases, to tell you the truth. Christine did a great job of leading the way for me.”
“Christine…” Jenny began, “Isn’t that your daughter’s name?”
“Good memory,” Susan said. “Yeah, we named our daughter after her.”
“That’s awesome.”
“I couldn’t imagine naming her anything else. But anyway, that’s the reason Adam’s so supportive of what I do. He knows that when I back out of a dinner reservation, it’s because I’m helping someone find a loved one’s killer. Having been in that situation, he knows I’m much more needed there than at the restaurant. He’s actually very proud of me. He brags about what I do.”
Jenny shook her head. “Greg would never brag about what I do. He would brag about himself, but never about me. He would never want to imply that I am better than him in any way.”
“It sounds like you’ve got a good deal of resentment for this guy.”
Jenny snorted. “You know what? I do. And it’s only come about recently. It wasn’t until I realized I had psychic ability that his true colors became apparent to me.”
“Let me ask you this. How old were you when you met him?”
“Nineteen.”
“That’s very young.”
“I know. Too young. At the time I thought I was all grown up, but now I realize how immature I was and how backward my priorities were. He was an all-state football player, which made him special in my mind. Now I don’t particularly give a shit that he played football in college. It seems trivial, really. Now I just wish he would treat me better.”
At that point the waitress arrived with their food. Grabbing a French fry, Jenny grunted with delight as she took a bite. “You’re right,” she told Susan, “this does hit the spot.”
“Greasy food always will,” Susan replied.
“So,” Jenny continued. “What expert advice would you have for a naïve young woman who is just now realizing she married a guy for the wrong reasons?”
“Communication,” Susan said flatly. “I know it sounds trite, but it really is the key to any good relationship. You have to be very clear about what you want; men aren’t mind readers, that’s for sure. You have to be careful of how you communicate, though. No name calling. No finger pointing. No tit-for-tat. You don’t want to constantly say you always do this and you never do that. That will only put him on the defensive, and you won’t resolve anything. It’s best to say things like, I’d like the marriage to look like this. That’s the best chance you have of initiating a productive conversation.”
“Wow,” Jenny said. “That’s pretty good.”
“I’ve been married for twenty-three years. You have to learn some tricks of the trade along the way.”
“Well, I will definitely heed that advice,” Jenny declared. “But I’m afraid I’ve already done something that was a little bit tit-for-tat.”
After Susan dropped her off, Jenny walked slowly through the front door, emotionally braced to have a much-needed and very serious conversation with her husband. She found him in the kitchen, holding up little blocks of wood against the existing cabinets, clearly trying to decide which finish looked best.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey,” he replied.
She took a seat at the kitchen table and said, “Can we talk a minute?”
Greg tossed the blocks of wood onto the counter. “I think we need to.” He took a seat at the table.
Jenny let out a sigh and began. “I think we need to come to some agreements about balance.”
“I agree.”
Jenny was surprised by his answer. “What issues do you think we have with balance?”
“I’ve already told you,” Greg said. “You need to learn to pursue your hobbies in a way that doesn’t interfere with our main goal of renovating this house.”
After a long, deliberate pause, Jenny calmly posed, “What if I tell you that the renovation is no longer my main goal? How would you feel about that?”
“Well it’s pretty obvious that it isn’t. And, honestly, I think that sucks. You said this was something you wanted to do back in Kentucky, and now that it’s here you’re hardly helping at all.”
“I’ve come to realize over the past few weeks that I didn’t really want to renovate a house. I knew that was your dream, a
nd I agreed to go along with it because I wanted you to be able to achieve it. Truth be told, a renovation project was never even on my radar until I met you.”
“But you still agreed. You should honor that.”
“I’ve agreed to a lot of things. Too many things. I agreed to move here, for you. I agreed to renovate, for you. I agreed to keep my paintings in storage so we could use your furniture. I agreed to go to the mountains last summer when I really wanted to go to the beach.” Jenny mustered up some strength from somewhere within her. “This marriage needs more balance in the sense that my opinion needs to start counting more.”
“But the point is you agreed to all that stuff. You can’t turn around and tell me now that you want to change it all.”
He had missed the point. “I agreed because I felt like I had to. A large portion of the things we’ve done in this marriage has been the result of me just agreeing. I’m tired of agreeing. Besides, why can’t I change my mind? Marriage is about being flexible.”
“Marriage is about sacrifice,” Greg countered. “Sometimes you have to do stuff that you don’t want if it makes the other person happy.”
“I understand that,” Jenny said, “but it seems to me that I’m always the one doing the sacrificing.”
“Are you kidding?” Greg was growing more heated. “I’m working my balls off fixing up this house so that WE can have enough money to start a family. This project is for US. But every time I turn around you’re off doing something that’s just for you.”
“It’s not just for me.” Jenny spoke more angrily than she had wanted. “I’m doing this for Elanor. Do you know how grateful she is?”
“Great. An old lady in a nursing home is grateful. That really benefits the marriage.”
Jenny took a deep breath and spoke more deliberately. “I have come to realize that, in your mind, something is worth doing only if it benefits you. Can’t you ever do something just because it’s a kind thing to do? Aren’t some things worth doing simply because they’ll make someone else happy? Even if it’s a stranger?”
“I’m your husband. I should be your number one priority. If you have a choice between doing something that makes me happy or doing something that makes a stranger happy, you should always choose me. You took vows to me, not to a stranger.”
“It’s not all-or-nothing. It’s possible for me be a good wife to you and still be kind to others. That’s the balance I’m talking about.”
“I’m not saying you can’t be kind to others. I’m just saying that it shouldn’t come at my expense.”
Jenny worked very hard at maintaining her composure as Susan’s words rang in the back of her mind. “What I’m proposing is that we come to an agreement where I can spend half my time renovating and half my time working with Elanor.”
“Okay, so I’m supposed to spend all my time working on this house, for US, and you spend half your time working for us and half your time doing your own thing. That doesn’t seem right.”
Jenny felt like she was repeatedly running head first into a brick wall. “But you want to do the renovation. I’m suggesting you get to spend one hundred percent of your time doing what you want, and I spend fifty percent of my time doing what I want and fifty percent doing what you want. I think that’s more than fair.”
“What I want benefits us. What you want benefits you. I hardly call that fair. I think you’re being a selfish bitch, truthfully.”
Jenny closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “In productive discussions, you’re not supposed to call the other person names.”
“Well, in a marriage you’re not supposed to make promises you don’t keep.”
Greg got up angrily from the table, resuming his deliberation over cabinet finishes. Jenny also got up from the table, very slowly, and headed upstairs to take that much-needed shower. She was experiencing so many emotions that she couldn’t feel any of them as she mechanically selected clean clothes, undressed, and ran the shower. The water felt very cleansing as it hit her face, washing away the sweat and the dirt and the worries of the day. She stood motionless with her eyes closed, releasing a big exhale, enjoying the feel of the water and counting the days until Greg left for his weekend in Kentucky.
Chapter 14
Sadness choked Jenny as she apprehensively walked through Elanor’s open door. Elanor was sleeping with her mouth open, looking closer to death than Jenny cared to see. Jenny tip toed over to her familiar chair, quietly reclining and interlacing her fingers over her stomach. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the silence as Elanor finished her nap.
“Oh, hello, dear,” said a scratchy, feeble voice. Elanor cleared her throat. “How long have you been here?”
“I’m not even sure. I dozed off myself,” Jenny confessed, stretching her muscles in the chair. “I’m sure it hasn’t been long.”
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. You could have woken me.”
“Actually, the nap felt really good. It’s been a bit of a rough day.”
Elanor pushed the button on the side of her bed which allowed her to sit more upright. She scooted around and adjusted her oxygen tubes as she became more vertical. Once she settled in, she inquired, “Oh? How so?”
Jenny lowered the footrest of her chair so she could lean in closer to Elanor. She placed her hand on top of Elanor’s and stated as delicately as she could, “I was led to Steve’s remains today.”
Elanor didn’t respond, but her wide eyes spoke volumes.
“It seems he had been placed in a fifty-five gallon drum which was put behind the facilities maintenance building at Lake Wimsat. All of his belongings, including his ID, were in two other drums along with it.”
Tears began to fill Elanor’s eyes. “He’s been in a drum?”
Blinking away tears herself, Jenny replied, “I’m afraid so.”
“How awful and lonely.” Elanor’s face looked sadder than Jenny had ever seen, making Jenny desperately wish she could rewrite the past.
“At least he was at Lake Wimsat,” Jenny noted, hoping her words were appropriate. “Wasn’t that your favorite place?”
“Yes, it sure was,” Elanor said incredulously. “I can’t believe he’s been there all this time. No wonder I felt such serenity when I was there.”
“Yes, ma’am. He’s always been close to you.”
“And that must have been what he meant.” Elanor turned to Jenny. “When you heard the words Lake Wimsat, he was telling you where he was.”
“Indeed he was,” Jenny said. “And I completely missed it. He had to get behind the wheel of my car and literally steer me there in order for me to figure it out.”
“Is that how you found him?”
“Yes, ma’am. I was driving, and I found myself going the opposite direction of where I needed to go. He led me there, and he did a good job of it, I might add.”
“I believe it,” Elanor said. “He was good at everything he did.”
“Although,” Jenny added, “his timing wasn’t spectacular.”
“What was wrong with his timing?”
“He chose a time when I was on my way to an appointment to look at cabinets with my husband, and when I went the wrong way, it sparked a pretty big fight.”
Elanor laughed, which was not the reaction Jenny had been expecting.
“What’s so funny?”
“If I know Steve the way I think I do, his timing was one hundred percent deliberate.”
“He meant to cause a fight between me and Greg?”
“No, not cause a fight. Prove a point. Just like I did when I sent Nancy over to your house. You said before that you don’t get to choose when you get contacted; Steve chooses. Well, I’m sure there were plenty of times you were in the car by yourself when he could have led you to his body. But he waited. He waited until your husband was in the car with you.” Elanor laughed again. “That is just like Steve.”
Surprisingly, Jenny found herself joining in the laughter. She supposed she could add Steve to t
he list of people who had allegiance to her and not Greg.
“You know,” Jenny said reflecting, “I have to admit, I stood up to Greg at that moment in a way I never have in my life.”
“Good for you, dear. I’m sure that was Steve’s goal.”
Unable to wipe the smile from her face, Jenny marveled at the fact that she’d been manipulated, albeit for her own good, by a man who’d been deceased for six decades.
“Well, Miss Elanor, I’m afraid there are a few things that we need to take care of now that Steve’s remains have been found. I think you’ll agree he deserves a proper burial.”
“Actually, no. I don’t think he’d like to be buried. I think he’d much prefer to be cremated; it’s better for the environment.”
“Oh, I’m glad I asked.”
Elanor sat up as straight as she could and leaned toward Jenny. “Do you know what I want more than anything, dear? I want you to make sure that Steve and I both get cremated and our ashes get placed in the same urn. Can you do that for me?”
“Absolutely, Miss Elanor.”
“And then…I want you to scatter our ashes at Lake Wimsat. Our favorite spot.”
“I don’t know where that is,” Jenny confessed.
“I’m sure Steve will tell you,” Elanor said, smiling. Then she shouted, “You hear that, Steve? You’ve got to show her where our spot is!”
Jenny had to laugh. “And what if he doesn’t?”
“Then any old spot will do, as long as it’s at the lake. I’ll let you use your judgment.”
“Okay, Miss Elanor. You got it.”
“Well, thank you, dear. I’ll call my lawyer and have that drafted in my will. I was going to have my favorite cousin scatter my ashes, but I’ll have that changed. She’s already taking care of my funeral arrangements; that’s enough to ask of someone I wasn’t all that close to.”
“Do you need my information for the will?”
“Nah. They’ve got all that at the front desk. They take down every visitor’s information when they arrive for their first visit, in case you forgot. That’s how I verified everything when I hired Nancy for you. Pretty sneaky, huh?”