by Becky Durfee
“I feel like I should hug you,” Zack mumbled, “but I know you’re married and I don’t want to make your husband mad.”
Jenny snorted. “Everything I do lately makes my husband mad. Besides, he doesn’t have the right to say anything. As far as I’m concerned, if he really gave a shit, he’d be here with me. But he’s not. You are.”
Zack pulled Jenny in for a hug that was a little too long and a little too tight, but somehow felt comfortable and right.
Jenny initiated the release. She couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with Zack, but she did admit, “Thanks. I needed that, actually.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
The silence was awkward. Technically this should have been goodbye. Now that the murder had been solved, Zack and Jenny had no reason to get together unless the motive was personal. Jenny wanted to say something about staying in touch, but she wasn’t sure whether that was appropriate given the circumstances. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to leave—not at that moment, and not from her life.
Jenny had to admit that a piece of that initial attraction was resurfacing. More tears began to flow as Jenny considered what a terrible mess her life was becoming.
“I don’t want to leave you like this,” Zack said. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “I don’t know much of anything anymore—except that I don’t want to go home.”
Zack shrugged with one shoulder. “We can go get a coffee or something.” As an afterthought he added, “Between friends.”
Thoughts stirred around her head. Was it appropriate for her to accept? Greg would have been furious if he knew. Even she had to admit this may have been considered crossing a boundary. Fortunately or unfortunately she didn’t have the energy to care about that. She was at the bottom of the emotional barrel, and coffee with Zack was the only idea that seemed even remotely appealing. Was she about to put another nail in the coffin of her marriage? Perhaps. Would some of her friends back in Kentucky lose respect for her if they found out she’d done this? Most likely. Did she give a shit?
No.
“Coffee sounds great,” she said. “Do you mind driving? I don’t think I’m in any condition to.”
“No problem,” he said smiling. He touched his hand lightly to the small of her back, guiding her in the direction of his car, causing a tingle inside Jenny. She knew this was bad news. She was playing with fire. And she couldn’t have cared less.
As she headed toward Zack’s car with his hand on her back, she saw Nancy Carr looking in her direction. Jenny knew she must have looked like a deer in headlights, but Nancy only smiled politely and continued on. It’s just coffee, Jenny thought to herself. Among friends. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Zack opened the passenger door for Jenny and she climbed inside his car. After he walked around and entered the driver’s side door, he commented, “Did you see that chivalry? That was awesome, huh?”
Jenny had to laugh. “Very impressive.”
“See? I’m learning.”
“Your waitress friend should be impressed,” Jenny added, disappointing herself with her own words. She had nearly forgotten that Zack had had his sights set on another woman. Perhaps Jenny was simply fooling herself into believing an attraction was there. Her already low spirits sank a little further.
“Incidentally,” Jenny continued, pretending to be unfazed. “There’s a little matter of gas money to settle. According to my calculations, you only have one day left to get gas money out of me, unless you’ve asked her out already and you’re just holding back.”
“No, I haven’t asked her out,” Zack confessed. “You might as well go out and buy yourself a shirt or something. I don’t see you owing me anything.”
As they headed out of the funeral home parking lot, Jenny asked, “Chickening out?”
“No, I’m not chickening out. I just don’t think I’m going to ask her out anymore,” Zack kept his attention focused on the road.
“Why? What happened?” Jenny had to admit a small part of her was happy.
“Circumstances have changed. She’s not as attractive to me as she used to be.”
Jenny looked at her lap. Those words invoked excitement, fear, happiness and confusion all at the same time. She knew she was going to have a lot of thinking to do once she became strong enough to face it. At that moment, however, she didn’t have that strength.
Shortly they arrived at a coffee house and logistical matters took over. Once they had their drinks and were seated at a booth, the more serious conversation resumed.
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this,” Zack began, “But I’m surprised to hear you and your husband are having problems. I just assumed you were happy.”
Jenny wrapped her hands around her coffee cup. “No, I’m not happy.”
“What’s wrong?”
Jenny found herself having a difficult time saying the words, unsure of whether or not it was proper to disclose her marital problems to a man she might have been interested in. However, nothing romantic had happened between Zack and Jenny at that point; as far as anyone was concerned, they were nothing more than friends.
Jenny gave Zack a brief description of the issues she and Greg had been having. “It’s not like we were once a happy couple and now we’re in a rut,” Jenny concluded. “I’m beginning to realize our relationship has never been good. I may have never even loved him. I think I may have just loved the way I felt about myself when I was with him.”
“Wow,” Zack remarked, blowing on his coffee. “That’s pretty heavy.”
“Too heavy,” Jenny agreed. “Except now I’m stuck. I took a vow. I can’t just walk away.”
“Well, you can…”
“I know I can. Technically. But that’s not something I take lightly.” Jenny covered her eyes with her hands. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure,” Zack said. “Pick a topic.”
“Okay,” Jenny replied with a sigh, sitting up straighter. “If no one could tell you no, and money was no object, what would you be doing with your life?”
Zack repeated the question quietly as he thought. “I would have a boat, and I would be out on the water almost every day.”
“What about in the winter?” Jenny asked.
“You’re not good at fantasizing, are you?” he asked. “You said money was no object, so I would just go to the Caribbean or something.”
Jenny had to laugh at her own practicality. “I guess that makes sense.”
“So what about you?” Zack asked. “What would you do with all that money?”
“Mine’s dumb,” Jenny confessed.
“Let me be the judge of that.”
Jenny smiled shyly. “I would use that money to live off of and become a professional psychic.”
“That’s not dumb,” Zack replied. “That’s like the coolest thing ever.”
Jenny felt herself blush.
“I’m serious,” Zack continued. “If I had that ability, I’d do the same thing. I think it’s so cool that you can do that.” He leaned forward on his elbows. “So what does it feel like when you have a vision?”
Jenny shrugged. “It doesn’t feel like anything. It’s like I’m living it, but I’m just standing still with my eyes closed.” An epiphany hit Jenny. “Did you ever have a very realistic dream, and then you wake up surprised to find out that you’re actually in bed? It’s kind of like that.”
“What about the voices?” Zack was enthralled.
“It’s just like listening to you right now. In fact, the first time I heard a voice I thought it was my husband talking to me.” Jenny’s heart sank when she became reminded that she was married.
She quickly forced that thought out of her head. “But the coolest experiences were the visions from after Steve had died.” Jenny described her vision of Elanor and Ronald at the lake in detail, as well as her most recent sighting on Meadowbrook Road. “I think that’s what
things look like after you die…before you cross over, that is.”
Zack put his hands on his head. “This is so wild. Do you realize that you and I know something that most people desperately want to know but don’t? I feel like one of the most important people in the world right now.”
Jenny laughed at his excitement and awe. He had the zeal of a child.
“And your husband really doesn’t think this is cool?” Zack asked. “I can’t imagine that. It’s like he hit the jackpot and he doesn’t know it.”
Jenny shrugged modestly. Perhaps she was married to the only person in the world who didn’t value her ability.
“I bet you could make a living out of this,” Zack said. “People would totally pay you to contact their loved ones.”
“That’s just it,” Jenny replied. “I don’t contact their loved ones…their loved ones contact me. And so far, only one person has done it. Maybe he’s the only one who ever will. This may have been a one shot deal.”
“That would suck.”
“That would indeed suck,” Jenny confirmed. “Especially if I quit teaching and tried to do that for a living.”
“But if other people do contact you, would you quit teaching?”
“If I could,” Jenny reasoned. “The problem is that even if this did happen again, I wouldn’t make any money at it, unless there was a reward or something. I’d still have to teach to pay the bills.”
“Bummer.”
“I know…especially if someone contacts me while I’m at work. I can’t just walk out in the middle of class because I’m being pulled somewhere.”
“Pulled somewhere?” Zack asked excitedly. “What does that feel like?”
Jenny sighed as she thought about it. “Automatic. Like if you’re driving a route you’ve driven a million times before, you can still get where you need to go, even if you’re thinking about something else. It’s like I just know where to go, except the path is unfamiliar. I become somewhat trancelike, and the car finds the way.”
“I’m so totally jealous,” Zack marveled.
“Be careful what you wish for,” Jenny found herself saying.
“You don’t like being psychic?”
Jenny twisted her face. “It’s not that I don’t like it; it’s just the visions don’t always come at a convenient time. And they’re not always pleasant. I actually felt Steve get shot.”
“See, though, I think that’s cool. How many people actually know what it feels like to be shot?”
Jenny cocked an eyebrow at Zack. “There are some things I can go through life without knowing.”
Zack leaned back in the booth. “I don’t know. I still think it’d be a cool thing to know.”
“Would you like me to shoot you?”
Zack laughed. “No. I’m mortal. I’d have to heal. You get to get shot and not be hurt by it.”
Jenny snorted at his word choice. “I’m still mortal. Something’s going to get me one of these days.”
“I bet it will be worry.”
Jenny made a face. “You’re probably right.”
“So,” Zack switched gears abruptly. “What happens now?”
“What do you mean?”
“What happens now? Like, do you and I say goodbye and never see each other again?”
Jenny lowered her eyes and spoke softly. “I hope not.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking,” Zack continued cheerfully. “You’re renovating a house, and you may need some help from time to time. I figured you could call me if ever you need an extra set of hands. I worked in the field for years, remember. I know a thing or two about construction.”
Jenny smirked. “I thought you hated it.”
“I do,” he confessed. “But I can deal with it for a friend.” He flashed a sincere smile at Jenny.
“Okay, then. Here’s my end of the bargain,” Jenny proposed. “If ever I get contacted again—by someone other than Steve, I mean—I’ll call you, and you can help me work on the case.”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course. You were absolutely instrumental in solving this one.”
“That’s awesome,” Zack announced proudly, “I can be your sidekick.”
“Partner,” Jenny corrected. “There are no sidekicks.”
“It looks like we have ourselves a deal.” Zack extended his hand across the table, and Jenny shook it.
“Deal,” she said with a smile.
Elanor’s lawyer, the executor of her will, contacted Jenny with some details about the spreading of the ashes. The funeral home would be releasing the remains within a few days, and Jenny would be given both Steve’s and Elanor’s ashes in a scattering urn. “The will says you know where to scatter them,” the lawyer stated.
“Yes, sir, I do.” She truly didn’t know, but she was confident she’d be shown the way.
“In addition, at your leisure I’d like you to come by my office. There are a few things Ms. Whitby wanted you to have.”
Jenny smiled at the prospect of receiving something to remember Elanor by, besides the furniture which would eventually wear out. She believed she’d be getting her painting back, but perhaps there was something beloved of Elanor’s she’d get to keep. She decided at that moment that she’d take one of Elanor’s mementos, as well as one of Steve’s, and she would put the items together in a small memorial in one of the spare bedrooms of her home.
“I can come by today,” she said, “If that’s okay with you.”
“Can you be here at four?”
“Sure can,” Jenny replied.
“That’s great,” the lawyer said, “I’ll see you then.”
Jenny entered the lawyer’s office promptly at four, informing the secretary of her arrival. She waited as instructed in the lobby, brimming with excitement over what Elanor may have left for her. After what seemed like an eternity, Jenny was called back into the office, where she was greeted by a lanky, well-dressed man. “Andrew Parker,” he said, extending his hand.
“Jenny Watkins.”
“Have a seat, Ms. Watkins,” he began, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. “Now, before I begin, I want to let you know that what you are about to receive is not officially part of the estate. All of those items have to go through probate and may take a while before they get released. As you know, Ms. Whitby’s estate was quite large.”
“Yes, sir, I can imagine.”
“Some of these items I give you today were rightfully yours, according to her, and she’s just giving them back. Other items were presents, in her terms.” He made quotes with his fingers. “Considering the relatively small financial value of these items, I don’t believe they’d be challenged in probate.”
Jenny smiled. “Yes, sir.”
He reached back behind his chair and grabbed two handled bags, placing them on his desk. “This first bag had her personal effects from her room at Maple Estates. She wanted you to have them, saying that some of those items had been gifts from you in the first place.”
“That is true, yes.” Jenny was excited to be getting Steve’s belongings back.
“Oh, including this,” Andrew said, reaching back one more time for the meadow painting. “She said you made this.”
“Yes, sir.”
Andrew looked at the canvas. “That’s very impressive.”
Jenny blushed. “Thank you.”
“The second bag is the gift bag from Elanor. She had paid one of the nurses from Maple Estates to go shopping for on her behalf with a very specific list of items she wanted you to have.”
Jenny smiled at the notion. She could see Elanor giving the nurse the instructions in her own feisty way. Jenny’s smile faded as she realized she was never going to witness Elanor’s spunk first hand again.
“Well, thank you so much,” Jenny replied. “This really means a lot to me.” She stood up to leave.
“Wait one more minute,” Andrew said, opening his desk drawer. “She did leave you a portion of her estate in her will.”
Jenny’s eyes widened. “She did?”
“She sure did,” Andrew replied. “Now, like I said, an estate this large has to go through probate to see if anyone is going to contest the will, but in the meantime I do have a check here for you with a small portion of your inheritance. This should be enough to tide you over until probate is finished.” Andrew handed her a sealed envelope, which Jenny took in disbelief.
“Let me help you out to your car,” he continued as Jenny still struggled to grasp what was happening. “I’ll take the bags,” he said. “I’ll let you carry the painting. I wouldn’t want to scratch it.”
Jenny mechanically went to the car, placing the items in the back seat. She shook Andrew’s hand and said goodbye, climbing into the roasting vehicle. As soon as Andrew was back into the building, Jenny opened the envelope and looked at the amount of the check.
“Holy fucking shit,” she exclaimed. “One hundred thousand dollars?”
Jenny didn’t want to be bothered by Greg as she went through the sentimental items Elanor had left her. Instead she stopped in a parking lot, left her car running for the air conditioning, and climbed into the back seat of her own car.
She first opened the box of tokens from Elanor’s room. There she did find the old photograph of her on the rock, as well as Steve’s framed ID card. The engagement ring was noticeably absent. It appeared Elanor had kept that, which made Jenny happy. That ring was Elanor’s; it should have gone with her to the grave.
In the second bag she found some high-quality paint brushes, countless colors of oil paints, and a two hundred fifty dollar gift card to a craft store. Tucked in the side of the bag she found a sealed envelope with very shaky writing on the outside, simply saying Jenny.
Jenny quickly opened the note, eager to discover what her dear friend’s last sentiments were for her. On a simple piece of loose leaf paper, Elanor had scribbled out her final goodbye.
Dear Jenny,
If you’re reading this, I’m already with Steve. I know that’s where I am because of what you have told me. You have made me so happy, you have no idea. I want you to enjoy that same happiness in return, so here are some painting supplies. For the love of God, PAINT. You’re great at it, you enjoy it, and I don’t want to hear any excuses. PAINT, dammit!