by Sterling, J.
“A real person to whom?”
“The people that post on those websites, they don’t know you. They don’t know anything about you. It’s really easy for people to talk shit about someone they don’t know. Especially when it’s someone they think they’ll never see in real life.”
I’d never been one of those types to write nasty things online about people I didn’t know. Did I read gossip sites and watch shows about celebrities? Of course I did. But I always remembered there were two sides to every story, and I never trusted what was reported. Melissa’s mom instilled that in both of us from a young age. Occupational hazard, she called it.
I sniffed, wiping away a tear as Meli continued. “You know this. You’ve just never been at the receiving end of it like this before. Last year was bad, but it was nothing like this. It’s horrible and hurtful, but people do it because they can. They hide behind a computer screen where no one else can see them. They aren’t held accountable for their words. They can type them, press enter, and walk away.”
“But I read those words and they stay with me. When someone takes a picture of me at lunch eating a burger with a caption that says, ‘Maybe she should lay off the burgers’…” I looked down at my thighs before staring ahead at the wall.
“I know. We grew up out here, surrounded by celebrity rumors and paparazzi and all the craziness. You know that people enjoy tearing other people down. They get off on seeing you fall apart,” Melissa added with a snarl.
“I’ve never understood that. Why do people love seeing other people in pain?”
“I don’t know. Because people are petty, shallow, and jealous? Because they think they want what you have and when it’s not so glamorous, they’re happy it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?”
Dean sighed and I directed my glossy gaze at him. “It’s mostly girls, you know.”
“Mostly girls what?” Melissa shot back, her tone defensive.
“It’s mostly girls who read those magazines, watch those shows, and post on those websites. You girls love taking each other down a notch.”
I nodded in agreement. “It’s so true. You’re absolutely right.”
“Well, that’s never gonna change.” Melissa rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. “Girls are competitive bitches.”
“But why? Why are we like that? I mean, if all those people who talked shit actually got to know me, I’m pretty sure they’d like me.” I looked between Melissa and Dean, longing for reassurance.
Melissa grabbed me by both of my shoulders. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! They don’t know you. And they never will. You’re someone they see on TV, or in a magazine, online, or at a game even. You’re not someone who has dinner at their house on Sunday night!”
“So you’re saying I should start planning dinners with strangers?” I choked back a laugh.
“Bitch. I’m saying that these people suck. They suck. Not you. And you’re punishing Jack for what these people are doing to you.”
“She’s right, Sis,” Dean added with a smile. “People always posted things about Jack on Facebook and online and stuff. They were mostly lies, but Jack never read any of it. So it never affected him.”
“I tried to stop reading it all. Then this stupid Chrystle thing came out.” I turned to Melissa. “How can she say all these things, anyway? They’re outright lies.”
“It’s not like it’s a reputable magazine. It’s a trashy tabloid. They’re sort of known for printing half truths.” Melissa tilted her head.
“Can I sue her for defamation of character or slander? Something…” I pondered out loud, before propping my feet up on the coffee table.
“It wouldn’t be worth your time and effort. In those kinds of cases, you have to prove that you were affected by her story. You would have to prove that your character was defamed, by say, a loss of job or income due to the things she said.” She stopped to take a drink of water. “Same thing with slander. You have to prove that her statements were made maliciously to cause you harm. And you have to prove the harm it actually caused.”
I dropped my head back against the couch pillows. “I swear she knows all this before she does it. It’s the same shit she did to Jack with the annulment, knowing he would have to prove her claims were false.”
Dean made a quick sound of disgust. “I’m convinced that little bitch knows exactly what she’s doing before she does it.”
I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand before wiping at my tired eyes. “I’m so tired. Dean, can I come over and see Gran and Gramps tomorrow?”
“You’d better. They know you’re here.”
We all stood up at the same time, and I hugged Dean tight, thankful he stopped by, before walking into my old room. I looked around at the empty walls; the memories still existed within the confines of this space, even if the mementos didn’t. The front door closed and Melissa knocked softly before opening my door.
“Do you miss living here?”
I smiled. “I miss you.”
“Duh.” Her face crinkled with pleasure.
I moved to sit on the bed and patted the empty spot next to me. “So, tell me what the freaking deal is with you two.” I nodded my head in the direction of the door Dean just exited. Melissa shrugged her shoulders and I leaned into her. “I know you like him. Why are you torturing him?”
“Who said I like him?”
“I can tell you like him. What I can’t figure out is why you won’t tell him that.”
“I don’t know,” she admitted before changing the subject. “But I do know that you’re taking your frustrations out on the one person who would literally do anything for you. Breaking up with Jack won’t fix you or make you better. It will only break you more. And you know it. So stop pretending like you don’t.”
“Nice subject change.”
She hopped off the bed, leaving me with her words before blowing a kiss into the air and closing the door behind her. Brat. I hated how well she knew me.
I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. I couldn’t remember ever sleeping so soundly. I rolled over and reached for my cell phone when I realized it wasn’t near me. I’d turned it off before I left New York and hadn’t turned it back on. No wonder I slept so well.
Normally I’d search frantically for my phone, but I decided it was nice to be disconnected and left it turned off in my purse. After brushing my teeth, I walked into the living room. Melissa was sitting on the couch, watching TV. “Morning.”
She clicked it off before turning to face me. “Morning. Hungry?”
“Starved,” I admitted. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate anything, and I hadn’t been hungry at all last night. But now my empty stomach growled and twisted.
She chuckled before standing up and making her way into the kitchen. “Well, I only have cereal and toast. That’s gonna have to do.” She popped her head out from behind the cabinets. “Unless you want to go out to eat?”
“No, thanks. Cereal and toast is perfect.”
“Go sit down. I’ll get it.” Melissa shooed me away with her hand, and I made my way to the table.
“You know what I think the worst part about all of this is?” I watched as my tiny best friend balanced bowls, milk, and cereal boxes in her arms.
“That you’re an emotional mess who thinks her life would be better off without Jack Fucking Carter in it?” She cocked an eyebrow in my direction, and I frowned.
“No. Smartass.” I took a deep breath before finishing my thought. “It’s that I’m supposed to stay quiet. While people post all these things and say whatever they want about me and Jack, I’m not supposed to defend myself. And I hate the way that feels because I feel like I’m being bullied in a way, you know?”
“You are kind of being bullied,” she agreed, setting everything on the table before plopping two pieces of bread into the toaster.
“So I feel like by keeping my mouth shut, I’m telling all these people that it’s OK to do the things they’re doing.
Like my silence condones their behavior. It doesn’t feel right to keep quiet. It should be OK for me to stand up for myself.” I poured cereal into my bowl until it overflowed onto the table. I picked up the scattered pieces and popped them into my mouth.
“That’s why people in your situation normally have a PR person, or a publicist, or a lawyer on their side. Those people speak out on your behalf. Which brings me to something I want to talk to you about anyway.”
“What?”
“As your personal publicist, it’s my job to—”
I laughed, mocking her tone. “As my personal publicist?”
Her lips narrowed, her eyes squinting. “Give me a break, Cass. If you ever hired someone else to handle your PR, I’d disown you. And so would my mom. I can handle this for you.”
Melissa worked at her mom’s publicity firm in the summers and would join the staff full time as soon as she had her degree in hand. I asked Melissa when we were still in high school why she bothered applying to colleges when she could learn everything she needed to by working with her mom directly. But Meli’s mom insisted she have the college experience and wouldn’t let her start working at seventeen. I remembered her saying, “You have the rest of your life to work, Melissa. Don’t be in such a hurry to get it started. Go live. Have fun. Enjoy college and everything that comes with it.”
I leaned my elbows on the table. “Go on.”
“Well, I was thinking,” she started.
“Always dangerous,” I interrupted.
“Stop interrupting me! This is serious, Cass! I’m trying to help you!” she shouted, her annoyance clearly growing.
I puckered my lips, stifling a chuckle, “I’m sorry. Go on. I won’t say anything.” I marked an X across my chest with my finger.
She breathed out. “OK. So I was thought about this all night and I think it’s brilliant! You and Jack should do some sort of interview together. Like a human-interest story on what it’s like being a professional athlete and for you, what it’s like dating one. And you can address all the Chrystle accusations and lies, as well.”
“Meli, people who lose their house in a flood, or an entire community wiped out by some freak super storm… that’s a human-interest story. Not the girl whining about how hard it is to date an athlete and how mean people are. They’ll only hate me more.”
“Not if it’s done right.” Her bright blue eyes looked into mine, her eyebrows raised.
I shook my head wildly. “We’re not a human-interest story.”
“But you are. Those tabloids wouldn’t sell if people weren’t interested. And trust me, they’re interested.”
My chest tightened. “You think people would care about our side of the story?”
“Hell yes, they’d care! But the story will have two purposes. The first will be to put that little lying bitch in her place. And the second will be your public image.”
“My public image?” I tried to follow, but I was confused.
“If people see you as a real person, with problems just like they have, then maybe they’ll stop being so mean. If they hear about all the things you and Jack have gone through as a couple, they’ll sympathize with you instead of hate you. You won’t be someone who’s unattainable and only seen from a distance. You’ll be relatable. It’s hard to hate the girl you’d be friends with if you knew her.” She smiled, quoting my feelings from last night.
“I don’t know if we’re even allowed to do something like that. I’d have to get permission from the team’s publicity department first. And who the hell would even want to run a story like that?”
Melissa rolled her eyes, my question apparently stupid. “Right now? I bet I could get almost anyone to run that story. But you work for a freaking magazine, Cassie! A human-interest magazine,” she reminded me pointedly.
“But those aren’t the types of stories we print.”
“You mean to tell me your magazine doesn’t ever profile anyone local? Don’t you ever do puff type pieces on New York’s elite?”
I pursed my lips together before responding. “Actually they do. But it’s online only and never in the actual printed version.”
A wide grin appeared on Melissa’s face as her hands clapped together. “That’s fine. Online can be just as effective. Think your boss will go for it?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I do, actually. She mentioned something about it before I left. But I need to talk to Jack first.”
“He’s an easy sell. He’ll do anything if it means keeping you happy.”
Love Makes A Life Worth Living
Cassie
After almost an hour of arguing, I convinced Melissa to drive me over to Gran and Gramps’s house. I still didn’t know why, but she still wanted to keep her distance from Dean, and meeting Gran and Gramps was not part of her master plan.
“Can we stop by the store real quick so I can pick up some wine?”
“Yep. I’ll get some too. I’ll need it,” she suggested, pulling into the supermarket parking lot.
I looked around at how spread out and spacious everything seemed. New York was so compact. I’d forgotten how different Southern California was. And I really missed the palm trees. My heart squeezed as I took in the sight of them.
“You coming?” I asked Meli before shutting the car door.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” She typed out a text before throwing her phone into her glove compartment.
After grabbing two bottles of wine and a small flower arrangement, we headed toward the checkout stand. Pictures of Chrystle and Jack’s wedding suddenly appeared in my vision as the tabloid sat in the wire rack, mocking me. My heart pounded, and I couldn’t step forward; my legs trembled forcefully.
And then another sight caught my eye. More pictures of Jack and Chrystle, feeding cake to each other and posing with their bridal party. “Melissa,” I tried to squeak out, but all sounds failed me.
“Oh shit. Cass. Cassie?”
I turned to face her, my body numb and eyes already tearing up. She scooted our items up on the conveyer belt. “We’ll take these, thanks.”
“Can I see some ID?” the clerk asked, and Melissa thankfully pulled her license from her wallet.
I stared at the newer, more mainstream magazine in horror. Chrystle had sold her story to not only one magazine, but two. What else had she done? “Do you want to grab that?” Melissa asked through my shock.
I managed to shake my head when the clerk said, “Do you know him? Jack Carter? He used to live here, but he plays for the Mets now. Can you believe all the stuff him and his new girlfriend did to that poor girl? It’s crazy. I guess fame makes you do horrible stuff.”
I turned to face her, multiple emotions running through me like a fucking tornado. She gasped as she noticed my face, her mouth twisting into a slight snarl. “Oh my gosh. You’re her! Jack’s girlfriend, Cassie. Right?” Her eyes narrowed with accusation.
I opened my mouth to say God knows what when Melissa rescued me. “What? Cassie lives in New York with Jack. Why the hell would she be here?” She grabbed the receipt, stuffing it in the bag before tugging me by the wrist toward the door.
“Jesus, Cassie.”
I snapped out of my wedding-photo daze. “Sorry.” I apologized, although I wasn’t quite sure what for.
“No.” Meli shook her head. “That was brutal.”
“Welcome to my life.” I extended my hands with a shrug.
My mind raced with thoughts about Chrystle and thoughts about Jack, and how even all the way across the country I couldn’t get away from the media nightmare I now lived in. I wanted to focus on being happy right now, excited to see Gran and Gramps. I let those thoughts take over.
“You’ll love Gran and Gramps, Meli. They’re awesome.” I looked at her, a large fake smile plastered on my face.
“I don’t want to love them,” she responded without even a glance.
“What the hell is wrong with you? After we fix me, we really need to do some work on your dysfunction
al ass.”
That garnered a glance. A nasty, wicked one. She pulled her car up to the curb and I hopped out, excited to see the family waiting inside for me. Dean popped his head out from behind the screen door, his eyes meeting mine. I widened mine, and he figured out what I was trying to convey and bolted through the door and to the side of our car.
“I’m glad you came, Melissa.” He smiled at her, grabbing the bag from the store.
“You’ve only been trying to get me here for months.” She turned a pointed glare at me.
What the hell?
“Cassie?” Gran’s voice spilled out from an open window.
“Is the kitten here already?” Gramps voice quickly followed.
I arched my eyebrows at Dean. “The kitten?” I asked with a laugh.
“Don’t ask. He started calling you that after you moved. We think it’s funny, so we never correct him.”
Dean opened the door for us, and as I stepped inside my heart immediately filled with love. Nothing had changed since my last visit, except for the three new black-and-white photographs on the wall.
Melissa pointed at them. “Cass, you took these, right?”
“Yeah,” I answered with a small smile before tossing a quick glance at Dean. I turned my head, noticing one additional new portrait. It was taken the day Jack signed to play for the Diamondbacks. Five people were in the photo, and I was one of them.
“You’re practically family already,” Melissa said as she glanced at the picture.
If a heart could grow in size, mine enlarged on the spot. I’d been more at home here with this family than with the one I was supposed to call my own.
Grabbing the bag from Dean, I started walking toward the kitchen.
“I’ll show you around the house.” Dean grabbed Melissa by the hand, leaving me alone.
Gran and Gramps sat at the table, drinking out of coffee mugs. Gran scooted out of her chair and shuffled toward me, her arms outstretched. “Oh, Cassie. It’s so good to see you. We miss you.” She kissed the side of my cheek and hugged me as tightly as her frail arms could.