I Am the Messenger

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I Am the Messenger Page 15

by Markus Zusak


  "I'll be there," I tell him. "Four o'clock sharp."

  "Good."

  The rest of the day glides by. Thankfully, Marv gives me the next few hours off, so I go home and sleep some more.

  When the time comes around, I walk to the Grounds with the Doorman, who has picked up on my recent happiness, despite the mess I appear to be.

  We stop off at Audrey's.

  No one home.

  Maybe she's already at the Grounds. She does hate the soccer, but she's always there, every year.

  It's nearly quarter to four when we walk into the valley where the Grounds are, and I remember Sophie and me here, over at the athletic track. It makes this game look pitiful--which it is. A crowd is already gathering at the soccer field, while the athletic track is empty but for barefoot images of the girl.

  I watch the beauty for as long as I can, then turn and face the rest of it.

  The closer I get, the stronger the smell of beer. It's hot. About thirty-two.

  The two teams are in different corners of the field, and a crowd of a few hundred is slowly growing bigger. It's always a bit of an event, the Sledge Game. It's held the first Saturday of December every year, and I think this is the fifth time it's been put on. As for me, this is my third year.

  I leave the Doorman in the shade of a tree, and when I approach the team, the ones who notice me take a second look at my face. Their interest, however, leaves them pretty fast. They're the type of people who see bruises and blood quite a lot.

  Within five minutes, I'm thrown a blue jersey with red and yellow stripes on it. Number 12. I change from my jeans into a pair of black shorts. There are no socks and no boots--they're the rules of the Sledge Game. No boots and no protective gear. Just a jersey, shorts, and a foul mouth. That's all you need.

  Our team is known as the Colts. The opposition is the Falcons. They wear a green and white jersey with the same color shorts, though no one cares about that. We're lucky to have the jerseys at all, considering each side just flogged them one year from one of the real local clubs or took the discarded ones.

  There are forty-year-old men in the Sledge Game. Big, ugly firemen or coal miners. Then there are some midrange players; some young ones, like Marv, Ritchie, and me; and some that can actually play well.

  Ritchie's our last guy to show up.

  "Well, look what the bloody dog brought along," says one of our fat guys. One of his mates tells him it's supposed to be what the cat dragged in, but, frankly, big fatso's too thick to understand. He's got what we'd call a Merv Hughes mustache. If you don't understand that, all you really need to know is that it's big, it's bushy, and it's downright reprehensible. The saddest comment on all of this is that he also happens to be our captain. I think his real name's Henry Dickens. No relation to Charles.

  Ritchie throws down his bag and answers, "Hey, lads, how are we?" but he looks at the ground, and no one really gives a shit about how anyone is. It's five minutes to four and most of the team is drinking beer. One gets thrown to me, but I keep it for later.

  I stand around a bit as the crowd continues piling toward the soccer field and Ritchie comes over.

  He studies me, up and down, and speaks.

  "Christ, Ed--you look bloody desperate. All bloodied and messed up and shit."

  "Thanks."

  He looks closer. "What happened?"

  "Ah, just some young fellas having a bit of harmless fun."

  He pats me on the back, hard enough to hurt. "That'll teach you, won't it?"

  "For what?"

  Ritchie winks at me and finishes his beer. "No idea."

  You have to love Ritchie when he's like this. He doesn't care much for how things happen or bother asking why. He can tell I don't particularly feel like discussing the incident, so he makes a crack and we leave it behind us.

  Ritchie's a good mate.

  I find it curious that no one's even suggested that I should have called the police about what happened. You don't do that sort of thing around here. People get mugged or beaten up all the time, and in most cases you either get back straightaway or take it.

  In my case, I'm taking it.

  Doing a few lazy stretches, I look over at the opposition. They're bigger than us, and I set my eyes on the massive one Marv had been talking about a while back. He's gigantic, and to be honest, I can't tell if it's a man or a woman. In fact, from a distance, he looks like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show.

  Then.

  Worst of all.

  I look at his number.

  It's number 12, like me.

  "That's who you're marking," says a voice behind me. I know it's Marv, and Ritchie comes over as well.

  "Good luck, Ed," he says, suppressing his amusement. It makes a burst of laughter shoot from my mouth.

  "Bloody hell, I'll get flattened by him. Literally."

  "You sure that's a man?" Marv inquires.

  I bend down and hold up my toes, stretching the backs of my legs. "I'll ask when he's on top of me."

  Strangely, though, I'm not overly concerned.

  The crowd's getting restless.

  "Right, get in here," says Merv.

  That's right, I said Merv, not Marv--I've named the fat guy with the mustache Merv because I have no confidence at all that his name is in fact Henry. I think his mates call him Merv, anyway, on account of the mustache.

  Everyone gathers in nice and close, and here's where we all get pumped up for the game. It's a collection of nasty underarm sweat, beer breath, missing teeth, and three-day growth.

  "Right," says Merv, "when we get out there, what are we going to do?"

  No one says anything.

  "Well?"

  "I don't know," someone finally says.

  "We're going to smash these pricks!" shouts Merv, and now there's a rumble of agreement, except for Ritchie, who yawns. A few of the others shout as well now, but it's hardly a wall of sound. They swear and snort and talk of everything short of disemboweling the Falcons.

  These are grown men, I think. We never grow up.

  The ref blows his whistle. As always, it's Reggie La Motta, who is very popular in town for being a complete drunk. The only reason he refs the game is that he gets two free bottles of spirits we all chip in for. One from each side.

  "All right, let's kill these blokes" is the general consensus, and the side runs on.

  Quickly, I head back to the tree where I left the Doorman. He's asleep and a small boy's patting him.

  "You want to look after my dog?" I ask.

  "Sounds good," he replies. "My name's Jay."

  "He's the Doorman," and I run onto the field and join the lineup.

  "Now listen up, fellas," begins Reggie. His voice is slurred. The game hasn't even begun and the ref's already pissed. It's quite funny, actually. "If there's any of that same shit as last year, I'm walking away and you can ref yourselves."

  "You won't get your two bottles then, Reg," someone says.

  "Bullshit I won't." Reggie sharpens. "Now, no rubbish, you hear?"

  Everyone goes along with it.

  "Thanks, Reggie."

  "Right, Reg."

  Everyone moves forward and we shake hands. I shake with my opposite number, who towers over me and puts me in the shade. I was right. He's a man all right, but a dead ringer for Mimi from Drew Carey.

  "Good luck," I say.

  "Give me a few minutes," Mimi answers throatily. Some heavy eye makeup would really do the trick. "I'm going to tear you to pieces."

  Let the games begin.

  The Falcons kick off, and soon enough I get my first run.

  I get killed.

  Then I have another run.

  I get killed again, and I also receive the trash talk in my ear as big Mimi squashes my head into the ground. This is what the Sledge Game is all about. The crowd is constantly oohing and aahing, screaming obscenities, and cracking up--all between drinking beer and wine and eating pies and hot dogs from the same guy who shows up every year to sel
l them. He sets up shop on the sideline, even catering for the kids with soft drinks and lollies.

  The Falcons go in to score a few times and spring to a good lead.

  "What the hell's going on?" someone asks as we stand next to the posts. It's big Merv. As captain, he feels he should at least say something. "Jesus, there's only one of us having a chop and that's...Hey, what's your name again?"

  I'm startled because he's pointing at me.

  Taken aback, I answer. "Ed," I say, "Kennedy."

  "Well, Ed here's the only one running hard and tackling. Now come on!"

  I keep running.

  Mimi keeps monstering and abusing me, and I'm wondering if he'll ever run out of breath. Surely someone that big in this heat can't go much longer.

  I'm on the ground when Reggie calls halftime and everyone goes off for a beer. Each player will then convince himself, with difficulty, to go back on.

  During the interval, I lie down in the shade near the Doorman and the boy. That's when Audrey turns up. She asks nothing about the state of me because she knows it's just more messenger work. It's becoming normal now, so I don't go into it.

  "You all right?" she asks.

  I sigh happily and say, "Sure, I'm loving life."

  In the second half there's a turnaround and we fight back. Ritchie scores in the corner and then another guy goes in under the posts. It's even.

  Marv's playing well now, too, and it's tight for a long time.

  Mimi's finally getting tired, and during an injury break Marv comes over and stirs me up. "Oi," he digs into me, "you still haven't hurt that big bloody sheila yet." He's all blond sticky hair and determined eyes.

  I object. "Well, look at the size of him, Marv. He's bigger than Mama Grape, for Christ's sake!"

  "Who's Mama Grape?"

  "You know--from that book." I give in. "And they made a movie out of it. Don't you remember? Johnny Depp?"

  "Either way, Ed--get up there and give him some!"

  So I do.

  There's a guy being assisted from the field, and I go over to Mimi.

  We look at each other.

  I say, "Run at me next time you get the ball."

  And I walk away, positively shitting myself.

  Play resumes then, and Mimi does it.

  He winds up and runs at me, and for some reason I know that I'm going to do it. He charges onto the ball, I line him up, go forward, and all I hear is the sound. There's a big collision and everything shakes. As the crowd goes insane I realize I'm still standing--and Mimi's lying in a crumpled heap on the ground.

  Soon everyone's around me, saying great work and such, but a sudden sickness falls to my stomach. I feel awful for what I've done and the big number 12 on Mimi's back stares forlornly back at me, motionless.

  "Is he alive?" someone asks.

  "Who gives a shit?" comes the answer.

  I vomit.

  Slowly, I walk from the field as everyone argues about how to get rid of Mimi so they can resume play.

  "Just get the stretcher," I hear.

  "We haven't got any, and besides--look at the size of this guy. He's too big, anyway. We'll need a bloody crane."

  "Or a Bobcat."

  The suggestions are limitless. People like this couldn't care less about digging into someone. You name it. Size, weight, stench. If you've got it, they'll tell you, even if you're stomped all over the ground.

  The last voice I hear is big Merv's. He says, "That's the best don't-argue I've seen in a long time." He expressed a great deal of joy in that sentence, and the other players agree with him.

  I keep walking. I still feel terrible. Guilty.

  For me, the game's over.

  The game's over, but something else begins.

  I make it back to the tree, and the Doorman's gone.

  A familiar fear quickens in me.

  I stand and turn frantically in a circle, trying to find my dog and that kid.

  Past the field there's a small creek, and I elect to start there. I run as fast as I can in this state, the game forgotten, and from the corner of my eye, I see a girl with yellow hair coming toward me.

  "The Doorman," I call to Audrey. "He's gone," and I realize how much I love that dog.

  She joins me for a while, then moves off in a different direction.

  At the creek, there's nothing.

  I return to the expansive grass of the field. The game's moving along and I can still hear the crowd somewhere in the miles of the back of my mind.

  "Anything?" Audrey asks. She'd been further down the creek.

  "No."

  We stop.

  Calmness.

  That's the best way, and now, as I turn back to the tree where the Doorman sat originally, I see him and the kid going back there. The kid holds a can of drink and a long stick of licorice, and now I see there's someone else with them.

  She sees me.

  It's a youngish sort of woman, and when she finds my glare, she quickly kneels down and grabs hold of the kid. She gives him something, speaks, and heads off immediately in the opposite direction.

  "It's the next card," I say to Audrey, and I take off. I run harder than I ever have before.

  When I reach the boy and the dog I stop and see that I was right. The kid holds a playing card, but for now I don't see what suit it is. I resume my pursuit of the young woman. She's disappeared in the crowd but I run anyway because I'm sure. I feel absolutely certain that I'm chasing a person who at least knows who's behind all this.

  But she's gone.

  She's disappeared, and I only stand on the sideline, without breath.

  I could keep chasing, but there's no point. She's gone and I need to get back to the card. That boy could be ripping it to pieces for all I know.

  Thankfully, when I make it back, he still holds it. Tightly. He looks like he's not going to let it go without a fight.

  As it turns out, I'm absolutely correct.

  "No," he says.

  "Look." The last thing I want is to muck around with this kid. "Just give me the card."

  "No!" The kid's attempting to cry.

  "Well, what did that lady say to you?"

  "She said"--he wipes his eyes--"that the card belongs to the owner of this dog."

  "Well, that's me," I say.

  "No--he's mine. The dog's mine!"

  Give me Daryl, Keith, and another trouncing any day, I think. Anything'd be better than this kid.

  "All right." I adjust the game plan. "I'll give you ten bucks for the dog and the card."

  The kid isn't stupid. "Twenty."

  I'm displeased, to say the least, but I ask Audrey for a twenty and she gives it to me. "I'll pay you later," I tell her.

  "No worries."

  I hand over the twenty and receive the Doorman and the card.

  "Nice doing business with you." The kid revels in his victory.

  I feel like strangling him.

  It's not what I expect.

  "Spades," I say to Audrey.

  She's close enough for her hair to touch my shoulder. The Doorman stands on my foot.

  "And you," I accuse him. "You stay put next time."

  Okay, okay, he responds, and soon he goes into a coughing fit.

  Sure enough, a piece of licorice jumps from his mouth, and guilt crawls into his eyes.

  "That'll teach you." I point at him viciously. He tries to ignore me.

  "Is he all right?" Audrey asks as we walk away.

  "Of course," I answer. "He'll outlive me, the gluttonous bastard." But secretly I smile.

  Apparently, we won the game, and there's a victory party at big Merv's place. Marv rings me in the evening and orders me to go since everyone voted me best player for ironing out old Mimi.

  "You have to, Ed."

  So I go.

  Again, I stop by at Audrey's on the way but she's not there. I assume she's out with the boyfriend. It almost turns me off going to Merv's, but I find my way there and go in.

  No one
recognizes me.

  No one speaks to me.

  At first, I can't even find Marv, but he locates me later on the front porch.

  "You made it. How you feeling?"

  I look at my friend and say, "Better than ever." Behind us, we can hear the drunk people yelling and yahooing, and there are people in the front bedroom doing what people do there.

  We sit awhile, and Marv describes the later events of the game to me. He wonders where I disappeared to, but I only tell him that I felt sick and couldn't go on. We talk at length about the hit I put on Mimi.

  "It was glorious," Marv confides.

  "Why, thank you." I try to push the edges of guilt back to my stomach. I still feel for him, or her, or whatever.

  After another ten minutes or so, I detect that Marv might want to head back inside.

  In my pocket, I have the new card.

  Ace of Spades.

  It makes me look deeper into the street, trying to find the future events in store. I'm happy.

  "What?" Marv asks. "What are you grinning at, bore?" Bore, I think, and we both laugh and connect for a moment. "Come on," Marv goes on. "What is it, Ed?"

  "Time for digging," I say, and walk off the porch. "I have to go, Marv. Sorry. I'll see you later."

  I feel bad because all I ever seem to do is walk away from Marv these days. Tonight, he allows me some room. I think he finally understands that what's important to him doesn't have to be to me.

  "Bye, Ed," he says, and I can tell by his voice. He's happy enough.

  The night's dark but lovely, and I walk home. At one point I stop under a blinking streetlight and examine the Ace of Spades again. I'd already looked at it several times, at home and on Merv's front porch. I'm most confused about the choice of suit because I'd expected hearts. Hearts would have followed a red-black pattern, and I thought spades, being the most dangerous-looking suit, would be last.

  The card has three names on it:

  Graham Greene

  Morris West

  Sylvia Plath

  The names are familiar, although I'm not too sure why. They're nobody I know, but I've heard of them. Definitely. When I arrive home I look them up in the local phone book and there's a Greene and a few Wests but none with a G or an M before it. Still, there might be other people at those addresses with those names. I make up my mind that I have to travel the town tomorrow.

  I relax in the lounge room with the Doorman. I've made chips in the oven, and we share them. I can feel my body developing some extra soreness from the Sledge Game, and by midnight I can barely move. The Doorman's at my feet and I sit there, waiting for sleep.

 

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