by Lovell, LP
Moving through the doorway, my eyes dart everywhere, searching for a trace of movement. Something brushes my leg and I swing my gun downward, only to find Zeus, his sleek black coat camouflaging him with the shadows. I spot a shadow at the top of the stairs and I shoot, barely able to see if the shot hit home before I hear footsteps in the lobby. Without hesitating, I tell Zeus to stay, and then I’m striding towards the lobby, allowing the anger bubbling beneath the surface to manifest and boil over. They take Una and now these fuckers are in my house. A bullet cracks past me. I feel a small sting as it just grazes my ear. I stand in the entrance to the kitchen with a clear line of sight right through to the lobby. My reflexes act without my consent, and I fire off two shots, downing two bodies. My muscles ache from the strain of being so tightly bunched. My breaths come in sharp pants.
I round the corner and a silhouetted figure steps in my path. We both raise our guns at the same time, freezing in place.
“Nero,” the familiar voice greets me.
“Sasha.” He says nothing. “I should have known. I told her you couldn’t be trusted.”
“Do not talk to me of Una,” he says, his voice void of emotion. “You bring about her ruin.”
I step forward and watch his finger tighten over the trigger of his gun. “Why is that?” I ask. “Because she no longer wants to be a member of the boy’s club?”
His jaw tenses for a second, and then he’s dropping to a crouch and sliding his gun across the floor. I frown in confusion and mimic his action. I barely have time to blink before he punches me, hard. I stagger back a step, but he’s right there again, swinging at the other side of my face. I smile, my muscles rolling as I duck and nail him in the gut. He doesn’t even flinch before he kicks my legs out from underneath me. We fall to the floor trading punches and blows until every part of my body is screaming in agony. The taste of blood on my tongue is its own form of a high and it makes me mad with a kind of violence I haven’t felt in years. I straddle his body and punch him in the throat. He chokes before he punches me once in the kidney, once in the temple. Dazed, I tilt sideways, and then he’s on top of me, his hands wrapped around my throat. I hit him in his ribs, stomach, back. Everywhere, but he’s locked on like a python and my oxygen is now dwindling. Jesus, he’s like the fucking terminator. In one last ditch effort, I grip his elbow tight and shove against his shoulder. I hear the satisfying pop of his shoulder dislocating and his small grunt of pain. His fingers go lax and I take the opportunity to shove him off to the side. I crawl away from him, my vision doubled and blurry. I slump with my back against the wall, watching as he climbs to his knees and smashes his arm into the side of the breakfast bar, trying to relocate his shoulder. Eventually he collapses against the bar. And here we sit, the pair of us breathing heavily, bruised and bleeding.
“You fight well,” he says.
“Thanks.” There’s a beat of silence. “Is she still alive?”
He turns his head towards me and I can just make out his blank expression. “Of course.”
I know he’s not going to say anymore. I feel my aggravation creeping in. “So you were sent to kill me.”
“I volunteered.”
I smirk. “Well, perhaps they should have sent more men.” I gesture towards the two dead bodies sprawled in my lobby.
He tilts his head back against the wall. “She begged me to intervene, to stop Nicholai from sending a team after you.”
“This is you intervening?” I snort.
He says nothing for a moment. “Do you think that she loves you?”
“I…yes.”
“She used to be different, you know? Before Alex. They were best friends. She loved him. I used to see the way she looked at him, like he was the only thing that made her happy. She was sixteen when Nicholai made her shoot him.” Jesus, that’s fucked up, even by my standards. “She was not the same after that. I never saw her happy again.”
“Is that what it is to be Elite?” I ask. “Would you kill her if he asked you to?”
He hesitates. “No.”
“You love her,” I say.
“She makes me happy.” It’s such a simple statement, almost innocent which is not a word I would ever associate with Sasha.
“She loves you as well, Sasha. She refused to believe that you were the enemy.”
He looks at me. “And you make her happy.” He sighs heavily. “I don’t…I don’t want to take that away from her, but I have a duty. I have orders.”
“What if you didn’t?” I ask. He tilts his head to the side. “What if Nicholai didn’t exist? What if you didn’t have orders? What then?” His brows pull together as though the question perplexes him. “If you love her, Sasha, help her. Help her baby. My baby.” Desperation leaks into my voice and I’m sitting forward because I realize that this might be my only shot, my only chance to help Una.
I push to my feet and limp over to him. He gets up, clutching his arm to his side. We stare at each other for a moment. “She once told me that together, you and her were the best.” He nods. “Then be the best, but fight for a cause. Pick a side Sasha.” I bend down and pick up my gun, handing it to him. I’m fucking trusting him because Una trusts him. That damn woman has me doing stupid shit for her.
He takes the gun and stares at it for a second. “You would die for her?” he asks.
“Of course.”
A deep frown etches into his features and then, with a sigh, he turns the gun around and shoots himself.
25
Una
I don’t know how long I’ve been here, or even where I am. I’m strapped to a bed and my head is spinning as I fight my way through the fog of sedatives. A hand strokes over my hair, and I blink against the bright overhead lights, trying to focus on the blurry figure in front of me.
“Little dove, it’s time.” I recoil away from the voice, trying to twist my head to the side.
“Time?” My voice is raspy and barely audible.
“Time to meet your baby.” What is he talking about? He steps to the side and a woman replaces him. I feel the prick of a needle being pressed into my arm, and then she moves away. Nicholai takes my hand in his and strokes my cheek. I manage to focus on him, on his icy blue eyes. A soft smile touches his lips. “I am so glad you are home. This will all be over soon, and I will make you strong again.” I fight back the prickling of tears and squeeze my eyes shut. “Any minute now,” he says. My eyes fly open when my stomach tightens like a steel band.
“What’s happening?”
He smiles. “You are having your baby, little dove. He will be stronger than even you.”
“No, I can’t. It’s too early,” I say, panic lacing my voice.
“Shh, shh, you’ve been sleeping for weeks. You will be fine. I would not let you die, little dove. You are too precious.” his hand strokes over my hair again, and then he stands, kissing my forehead before he leaves the room.
I’ve never felt less fine in my life. Weeks. I’ve been here for weeks. My plan…my time is up now. This baby is coming, and once it’s separated from me, my task becomes infinitely more difficult. I can only imagine the terror Nero is raining down on everyone. My midsection clamps down again, every single muscle going rigid tight. I grit my teeth and my body contorts, but only so far because my wrists, ankles, and chest are pinned to the bed. Oh, god. He’s going to leave me here to have this baby on my own.
The door opens again and Sasha walks in the room. I’ve never been so happy to see him. I can’t help but smile as he walks over to me. His posture is stiff, his face set in a grim expression.
“Sasha.” He stops beside me, his body bristling with tension. I notice one arm is tucked against his chest in a sling. “What happened to you?” His other fist clenches tight. He says nothing for a moment. “Sasha?” I can just about reach my fingers out and brush his hand. He flinches before his eyes meet mine.
“I had a run in with the Italian.”
My heart plummets into my chest and my pulse
races. If Sasha went after Nero, one of them must be dead, and Sasha’s standing right here, so… “Is he…?”
He shakes his head. “He lives.” I relax my head back against the bed, breathing out a sigh of relief. I need Nero to live. He is my reason and I must cling to that. “But he has declared war.”
“Of course,” I whisper. It’s Nero. He once told me he lives for war. I have to trust that he can win this war.
There’s a long beat of silence before he speaks, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry, Una.”
I shake my head. “What for?”
“I should have…You shouldn’t be here.”
“Where’s Anna?” I ask.
His lips press together. “She’s here. She’s safe.”
My stomach locks up again, and I drag in a sharp breath, tightening my fists until my nails bite into my palm. “Where?” I grit out.
“She’s being held in one of the cells.”
“Please, Sasha.” My eyes meet his and I want to beg him. I want to help Anna, I do, but I have to trust that Rafael will do as I said and bargain for her. “I need your help.”
“I cannot help you.” His voice is strained, his expression tight, but I see the fissure of pain behind his eyes.
“The baby,” I say quietly. “You have to get it out, take it to Nero.”
He braces his hands on the edge of the bed and drops his head forward. I clench my teeth under the next wave of pain. “You must let this go.”
“Sasha…”
“No!” He slams his palms down on the edge of the bed, glaring at me. “No more, Una. You were the one who failed in your duty. You never should have been working with Nero Verdi, let alone sleeping with him. You brought this on yourself.” His blond eyebrows pull together tightly. I fight back tears. He was my last hope. My only hope. It seems I have lost everything. My sister is imprisoned. My baby will be a soldier. My brother hates me. And Nero, I sacrificed Nero in the hope that Sasha would do this for me. Nero always said that Nicholai failed to break me, but now, as my body trys to purge the child from within, I realize that I’m about to find myself more alone than I ever was before.
Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I think it would be better if I had never met Nero, never found Anna because the emotional pain is far worse than anything physical.
“I understand,” I say, turning my gaze from him and focusing on the ceiling. He remains in the room, but I ignore him, even as the pain progresses over the next few hours.
When the agony reaches an all-time high, the door opens. A guy in a white coat walks in along with two women in scrubs. Nicholai lingers behind them, walking to me slowly. They release my ankles and bend my legs, spreading them. I’m in too much pain to focus on what they’re doing as they stare between my thighs.
Nicholai strokes my hair, a small smile on his lips. “You know, childbirth is said to be the most painful thing a person can experience.” Another contraction grips me and I pitch off the bed, tugging against the restraints and fighting back the urge to scream. “Do you remember what I taught you, little dove?” I don’t answer him. “I taught you that pain is in the mind, and so, you will have no drugs.” He strokes my cheek, kissing my forehead gently. “You will bring that child into this world, and you will let it be a reminder that you are Una Ivanov. That child will be torn from you, and with it, this disease, this weakness that you have allowed to infect you. The pain will both punish and cleanse you,” he says. I can’t truly take in his words because another violent wave of blinding agony washes over me. And he’s right, this is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I have been shot, burned, cut, drowned, but this…it feels like my body is being split in two, shredded apart one piece at a time.
“Push, push, push,” one of the nurses says. And I do, I push, and a scream breaks past my lips as my nails embed deep in my palms. Nicholai smiles wide and then turns away, leaving the room. I collapse back on the bed and my eyes drift closed. I wish Nero was here. Warm fingers thread through mine, gripping tight, and when I open my eyes, Sasha is there.
“You can do this, Una,” he says. “You are the strongest person I know.” I’m not though.
It seems to go on forever, until one sensation blends into the next and all I feel is a pain so intense, it seems to pulse with my very heartbeat. Another wave of pain grips me, so strong that my vision dots. “Push!” I find the last vestige of strength I have and push with everything in me. And then, the pain lessens, my body relaxes, and I slump back against the bed. I just want to close my eyes and drift away. And then, I hear a noise that makes my heart stutter in my chest. A cry so small and delicate, so out of place in this concrete hell. The doctor places this tiny thing on my chest and I glance at it, at him. His pink skin is covered in blood, but he’s perfect. In a single heartbeat, my entire world tilts on its axis. Everything that I thought mattered suddenly no longer does, just him. My baby. I try to touch him, but my hands are still restrained. With him right here, right in front of me, the reality of our horrible situation hits home hard. Tears track down my temples and I wish more than anything that I could hold him.
“Sasha, please,” I whisper. I hear his ragged sigh, and then he lets go of my hand, glancing towards the door before releasing the leather cuff. I hesitantly place my hand on the tiny baby’s back and clutch him to my chest, pressing my lips to his head. He lets out a small cry and I pull him closer to my neck. “Thank you,” I whisper to Sasha.
The door opens, and just like that, I know. Nicholai stands off to the side, a smug smile on his face. “He is perfect, little dove.”
I spread my fingers over his tiny body, wishing it were enough to keep him clutched to me, but this was always a losing battle. I know that the only way to save him is to let him go. But my heart can’t handle it, and this need unlike anything I’ve ever felt is raging inside my head, screaming at me to hold onto him, to never let him go.
The nurse pries him away from me, and a fresh wave of tears flow freely. I don’t even have the will power to stop them. He’s wrapped in a towel and handed to Nicholai who coos at him like a proud new father, but he’s not Nicholai’s child. He’s Nero’s. He’s mine.
“Thank you, little dove,” he says, and then he walks out of the room, taking my baby with him. Pain and heartbreak like I’ve never felt consume me, and this horrible noise echoes around the room. It takes me a few seconds to realize that the sound is me. It’s the sound of a heart shattering. It’s the sound of a mother losing her child.
* * *
I allow the dark waters to surround me, to become as a soothing embrace. For the briefest of moments, I consider just opening my mouth and inhaling. The pain in my chest is this constant ache and part of me wishes I could just cut it out, but I can’t, I won’t because it reminds me that my child was real. And that is the very reason that I must survive at any cost.
My lungs start to burn and my fingers twitch, a nervous reaction, my body screaming at me that this is not good. Pain is all in the mind, and fear is nothing but pointless emotion, so I force it back the way I was trained to. The hand wrapped around the back of my neck wrenches me upright and I drag in a lungful of air. Nicholai stands across the water tank from me, his arms folded over his chest as he frowns at me. Moving closer, he studies me, assessing every little detail, every tiny reaction. When he’s barely a foot away he stares into my eyes and I stare right back, refusing to look away or show any emotion.
His lips twist into a small smile. “You think you hide it so well, little dove.”
“Hide what?”
He strokes the back of his hand over my cheek, tilting his head to the side. “The fire in your eyes. The anger. You hate me now, but in time, you will see. I do this because I love you. I will make you strong again, and then everything will be as it once was.” I clench my jaw and nod. “But first, I must remind you of what you are. You are a creature of my making, little dove, and I will break you over and over until you remember it, until
you know nothing else.” A tremor of fear works through my body and goosebumps dot my skin. I know he’ll do exactly as he says, and I know I’m not strong enough for it. I thought I could do this, but being here—I remember why I became his creature. Simply because it was easier. If you let go of your soul, you can’t feel it being decimated one piece at a time.
“Now, take her to level six,” Nicholai says dismissively before I’m marched out of the room. Level six is where they perform all the electro shock therapy. It’s been two days since I gave birth and my body is already screaming from the trauma of it, but this is what I must endure. The quicker he gets this over with, the better. I just hope I don’t break because even at full strength and with my emotions in check, Nicholai’s methods push the mind and body to a place it should never have to go.
26
Nero
It’s cold as fuck. I’m sitting in a car with Gio in the passenger seat, and we’re parked at the side of a narrow country road that’s halfway hidden under the cover of the forest. Snow falls all around us, and even though I can see my breath in front of my face, we can’t turn the engine on.
The deal I made with Sasha was vague at best. He would help me. Help Una. But I had to stop the killings, lay low and wait for him to contact me. So, I agreed and he went back to Russia with an authentic looking bullet hole in his shoulder. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been weeks and everything has been eerily quiet. Doing nothing has felt like a slow torture.
Sasha’s message was simple. A set of co-ordinates and a time and date, along with the instruction to stay out of sight until the time is right. That was it. I don’t know what we’re waiting for, or when that right time will be, but we have ten minutes until whatever is supposed to be happening will happen. Of course, the co-ordinates were for just outside Smolensk, near the Russia and Belarus border.