Before he could make a comment, she spun around and hastened away.
A jolt of energy spurred him into action. He rushed after her and caught her before she left the barn. “Why are you taking Corey to live in Mobile? Everyone he knows lives around here.” He repeated what he’d already told her, but he didn’t know what else to say to her. “Corey is special to me...” He wouldn’t be able to fulfill his promise to Doug.
She halted but didn’t turn around. “I wanted Corey to meet my parents and for them to meet him. It might be weeks before everything is completed concerning the guardianship.”
“Then you and Corey will leave for good?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”
“This is Corey’s home. I won’t see him anymore. I won’t—”
“I have to go tutor. Good-bye.”
“—see you anymore.” He finally finished his sentence when Darcy was two yards away, but his whispered words didn’t reach her. He repeated louder, “I won’t see you anymore.”
She slowed and then finally stopped, her body stiff.
He came up behind her and clasped her shoulder. The tension beneath his palm melted, and she rotated toward him. He searched her expression, but he couldn’t read what she was feeling. She tilted her head back and stared into his eyes.
His throat closed at her probing gaze. Worse, though, was the silence that filled the air.
You let her know what you’re feeling for her.
He scanned the yard. Surprisingly they were alone. “I’m falling in love with you, Darcy. I didn’t want to. I know you want a family. I don’t know if I can do that. I’ve been angry with my dad for most of my life. He threw his life away. Alcohol was more important to him than I was. He wouldn’t stop. I wasn’t enough for him to want to. When I went into the service and left home, I never wanted to see him again. And I didn’t. He died before I came back home, and I was relieved.” The one thing he’d held back even from his uncle spilled from his lips before he could stop.
She grasped his hand. “Why?”
“Because I can’t forgive him for using me as a punching bag when he was drunk and upset.”
She closed her eyes for a few seconds, and when she reopened them, tears glistened in them. “He abused you physically?”
“Yes, and mentally until I enlisted in the army and escaped. As I got bigger and stronger, the abuse was more verbal, but his words hurt every time he said them. I was the reason my mom wasted away, according to him. After having me, she never was the same.”
“Did he abuse your mother?”
“He didn’t hit her, but he belittled her all the time. It got worse over the years.” He stepped closer. “Now you see why I have avoided any relationship that meant I had to commit to someone. I lived in a dysfunctional family and then went overseas to fight often unknown enemies. It’s hard for me to trust anyone, especially with my feelings.” Nick swept his arms out from his sides. “This was real hard. I want to forget the past, and each time I talk about it, I relive it.”
“And I imagine that helping Corey has opened old wounds for you.”
He nodded. “I didn’t want you to leave without knowing how I feel. That’s how much you mean to me.”
Darcy cupped his face. “I’m so sorry. Thanks for telling me. That means a lot to me, but I have to have it all. I know how important a family can be.”
“I wanted you to know why it wouldn’t work for us. You have a good life in Mobile. Maybe Corey leaving here will be better for him in the long run. I know you’ll have his best interests at heart. I trust you with him.”
“Nick! Nick, you’re here today.” Corey raced in his direction with Aiden right behind him. “I’ve missed you the last couple of days.” Corey threw his arms around Nick.
He embraced the child. How much longer would he be able to do this?
“Where did y’all come from?” Nick ruffled Corey’s hair.
He twisted around and pointed at the school bus leaving. “Will you be here after I do my homework?”
Nick looked up at Darcy.
She mouthed the word please.
“Yeah, I’ll even give you and Aiden a riding lesson if you do everything you need to with Darcy.”
“Yay. C’mon, Aiden. Let’s get our snack and do our homework.”
Corey and his friend rushed toward the back of the main house.
“That’s my cue to get busy. I’m glad you’re going to see them later.” She clasped his arm. “Go talk to Pastor Andrew. You need to deal with your anger at your father. You’ll never be free if you let him control you even now. You aren’t him, but I think there’s a part of you that fears you are.”
“C’mon, Darcy. We want to ride,” Corey yelled from the back stoop, Fletcher next to the boys.
“Duty calls.”
“Will you be coming down with them?”
“No, I’ve got to pack for the trip tomorrow morning. Y’all have guy time.” She strolled away.
He watched her go into the main house. Don’t let her get away.
He didn’t move. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Normally he was very decisive, but Darcy tilted his world upside down. And she was right. He had unfinished business with the Lord. When he left the ranch, he would pay Pastor Andrew a visit.
* * *
When Darcy stepped out onto her parents’ back deck overlooking the water, she breathed in a deep lungful of the sea air. She loved the smell she associated with so many wonderful memories. Standing at the railing, she spied her dad and Corey on the beach walking. The past two days had been great. As she knew they would, her parents made Corey feel like he was part of the family. Corey was already calling them Papa Warren and Grandma Betty, and they loved it.
This would be a good place for Corey to grow up, and yet every time she thought that, Nick filled her thoughts, especially images of him Thursday night teaching Corey and Aiden how to ride when she snuck down to the corral for a few minutes before leaving. If only he saw what she did. He would be a terrific father, and Corey adored him—all the boys respected him and listened to him.
From the moment she had decided to adopt Corey, she’d thought of him living here where she’d grown up, in the place she had loved all her life. But then Nick had finally opened his heart to her—the one thing that had been holding her back. When he told her about his father, her heart tore as though she’d gone through the horror with him.
Thank You, God. You blessed me with wonderful parents. All children should have that. What do I do about Nick? I love him, but I love my parents and my home too. I can’t live in Haven without a commitment from Nick. What is best for Corey? For me? For Nick?
Her parents were expecting her to come home. They were looking forward to being part of hers and Corey’s lives. Nick didn’t think he deserved that happily-ever-after.
The soft breeze off the water played with her hair as she watched Corey take off his shoes and run in the shallow water, laughing. A long sigh escaped from her.
“Honey, where are your dad and Corey?” Her mother came up behind her.
Darcy pointed in the direction of the beach. “Out there playing—again.” Now her dad was shoeless and letting Corey chase him through the water.
Mom laughed. “He’s having so much fun.”
“Which one?”
“Both, but I was talking about your dad. When we were going to bed last night, all he talked about was Corey.”
If she stayed in Haven, it would break her parents’ hearts, and would Nick ever be able to make the commitment she and Corey needed? But if she lived here with Corey, how would she ever forget Nick and move on?
“You’re awfully quiet, dear. Is something wrong?” Her mother leaned against the railing while she studied Darc
y, as she did when she knew something wasn’t right. “Something is troubling you,” she added when Darcy didn’t reply.
“Mom, I’m torn between two places—here and Haven.”
“You are? Why? You’ve only been there a short time. Is it your birth father?”
When she’d talked about Haven in the past two days, she’d mentioned all the people she’d gotten to know, but she hadn’t told them what she was feeling concerning Nick because she’d been sorting through her emotions. She thought when she came here that she might realize she didn’t love him. But that didn’t happen. He might as well be with her. She couldn’t shake him from her mind. Would distance help her with that?
“No. Remember I told you about Nick, especially his relationship with Corey? Nick and I grew very close too. I love him.”
Her mother’s eyes grew round. “You haven’t known him long.”
“Sometimes, like you and Dad, you know it in here.” She patted her chest over her heart. “You and Dad were only together a couple of months before you married, and look at how long and great your marriage has been.”
“We’ve had our ups and downs. All marriages do, but we’ve always been able to work our problems out. Do you feel you could do that with this Nick?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want to do? Would he move here?”
“His home and ranch are in Haven. For that matter, Corey has lived in that area all his life.”
“So you would stay there?”
“Yes” came out of Darcy’s mouth instantly before she really considered it, and the answer felt so right. She would fight for Nick—make him see what everyone else did. He was nothing like the father he’d described to her.
“Then expect us to visit a lot.”
“And I’ll come home a lot, especially in the summer. Corey would live on the beach if I let him.” When he had seen the water for the first time, he pumped his arm in the air and grinned from ear to ear.
“What about your work?”
“I’ll find something similar in Haven or Waco after I qualify to practice law in Texas. There’s the boys ranch, and if they ever start a girls ranch, I’ll be involved in it too. I started riding horses again and realize how much I’ve missed it the past few years.”
Her mother hugged her. “I’m thrilled you’re riding again. You were so happy when you were doing it. When Beauty died, I was worried about you. You took it hard.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed her that day.”
“She loved jumping as much as you did, and she was quite an entertainer.”
“Will you and Dad be okay with me staying in Haven?”
“We’ve been blessed to have you for twenty-seven years. We knew there would come a time when you’d begin your own family. And with your dad semiretiring this year, we’ll have more freedom to go where we want.”
When she looked into her mother’s eyes, peace settled over Darcy. She was doing what she was supposed to do. She knew that now.
* * *
Darcy sat next to Corey at the wedding ceremony for Josie and Heath at the Haven Community Church. Josie’s ivory-colored gown fell in soft folds to the floor while Heath had donned his Texas Rangers’ dress uniform.
The couple stood holding hands before Pastor Andrew as they exchanged their own marriage vows. Flint, the best man, gave Josie’s wedding band to Heath, and he slipped it onto her left hand. She smiled with tears running down her face.
When Pastor Andrew said, “You may kiss the bride,” Heath leaned toward Josie and kissed her. Suddenly he stepped back, his eyes round.
Josie laughed, taking Heath’s hand and laying it on her round belly. “The baby is welcoming you to the family.”
The audience, full of family, friends and Texas Rangers, broke out into cheers while Heath turned to the guests with his and Josie’s linked hands raised. His face radiated a smile.
“Mr. and Mrs. Heath Grayson,” Pastor Andrew announced.
When the couple began their walk down the center aisle, Corey bent close to Darcy. “Why’s Josie crying?”
“Those are happy tears.” Darcy turned as the newly wedded pair strolled past her.
Several pews back she caught sight of Nick and Howard, cheering and clapping. Suddenly Nick stopped, and his gaze zeroed in on Darcy. Chills streaked down her body. She hadn’t seen him since before she left for Mobile. She’d been at the boys ranch all day helping with the setup for the reception. She’d hoped Nick would be there and they could talk, but through the grapevine, she’d discovered he was searching for several cows that were missing from his herd.
The audience filed out of the pews. Carol and Clarence left first, followed by her and Corey.
Walking out of the sanctuary, Carol whispered, “Did you ever talk to Nick?”
“Not yet.”
Carol nodded toward where Nick still sat and whispered, “I’ll make sure Corey gets to the ranch. You’ll never enjoy the reception until you settle things with Nick.”
Howard rose and headed to the exit while Nick stayed, his head bowed. His uncle slowed, clasped Darcy’s hand and gently squeezed, then continued into the foyer.
As the wedding guest emptied the sanctuary, Darcy sat in the last row of pews. He’d stayed for a reason. She wanted to give him the time he needed. Her heartbeat picked up speed while observing him. Their last conversation hadn’t settled anything. He said he loved her and trusted her judgment concerning Corey. He understood why she wanted to live in Mobile and gave his blessing. Did that mean he didn’t love her enough to put his past behind him?
She wanted more. She wanted him.
* * *
The silence in the church soothed Nick for the first time in a long while. After talking with Pastor Andrew the other day, he knew he would never heal until he let go of the past and forgave his father. He’d ruled Nick’s life long enough.
Closing his eyes, he instantly pictured Darcy and Corey as they sat waiting for the wedding. He’d been tempted to sit in the same pew, but he and his uncle had come in late. They’d grabbed what seats they could near the back.
He’d missed her so much while she’d been in Mobile. She was all he thought about day and night. He’d hoped when she’d decided she should move to Alabama with Corey that everything would go back to normal. But she haunted him even more than she did when she was here in Haven.
That was when he knew he had to find a solution or go crazy.
Father, help me to forgive my dad. Help me find my way back to You. I’m tired of living alone. There has to be more to life than getting up every morning, working and then going to bed at night.
The memory of his last riding lesson with Corey invaded his mind. The boys ranch had answered a need deep inside Nick. Every day, especially since Corey had arrived, he’d looked forward to helping out there—even after a long day working on his own land. The boys’ smiles were all the thanks he needed.
Was this contentment when he left the boys ranch—even when things didn’t go well—what it felt like to be a father, nurturing and caring for a child?
He wanted more of that. He didn’t have to follow in his dad’s footsteps. Being so angry with him had taken over his life. Not anymore.
Dad, I forgive you. I hope you find peace. I’m not going to let you dictate my life anymore.
He drew in a deep, composing breath and released it slowly as he let go of the rage. While doing that, he also opened his heart to the Lord. He couldn’t continue going through life alone. Tranquility cloaked him.
God was here with him. A smile grew from deep inside Nick and took over his solemn expression. Now he was ready to fight for the woman he loved.
He was starting to rise when he glimpsed Darcy standing at the end of the pew. Warmth emanated from her. Words fled his mind as she c
ame near him and sat beside him. Emotions he’d never thought he would experience crammed his throat.
“I missed you,” she said in a soft voice that flowed over him.
He swallowed several times. “I missed you too.” When he bent toward her, he grazed her lips with his. “You were gone way too long.” He wanted to ask her about the trip but was afraid of what she would tell him.
She raised her hand and ran her fingertips across his mouth. “Well, I’m going to be here for quite a while now.”
“What does that mean?” he asked, his heartbeat thundering in his ears.
“It means I’m staying here, unless you don’t want me to.”
He cradled her face and drank in her beautiful features while he murmured, “Are you sure?”
“I love you, Nick McGarrett. I’m very sure.”
“Good, because I was contemplating moving to Alabama.”
“You were?”
“I love you too. I realized I didn’t want to live without you in my life. I took your advice and talked with Pastor Andrew. I forgave my father. He doesn’t have a hold over me anymore. I choose not to dwell on the past and what he did.” And he would fight to keep it that way.
Her smile grew. “Good. Now you can really live.” She wound her arms around him and kissed him.
He poured all his feelings into it. He didn’t want her to doubt his love for her.
When they parted, he laid his forehead against hers, his hands on her shoulders. “Where’s Corey?”
“Carol took him to the ranch for the wedding reception. She was playing matchmaker, and I doubt Corey minded. In Mobile he told my parents all about you and how you were teaching him to ride horses. He loves you like a father.”
“Is that why you’re staying?”
“I’m staying because it’s the best move for him but also for me. I can practice law anywhere. The ranch that you’ve poured money and a lot of time into is here. It will be a great place to raise Corey and call home.”
“Does that mean you’d marry me?”
“Yes. When I think about that, it feels right.”
The Cowboy's Texas Family Page 18