by R. J. Ross
"How did you?" Tatiana asks in her heavy Russian accent. "She is very much talented young woman. I would not be letting her go, either."
"Because I promised she'd be going up against Skystep," Century says. "If the two can pull this off today, we're going to make them famous. That's exactly what she wanted, so he reluctantly let her go."
Dollface jerks, acting as if she was just hit. "Ruckus?" she says. "You need to hurry. I can't hold both of them much longer!"
"Nobody told me the Jersey Devil kicks like a mule!" they hear Ruckus snarl over the speakers. "Throw another toy at them, it'll keep them busy for hours!"
"We're not here to keep them busy, we're here to stop them!" Dollface says, but holds out her hand to the side, aiming it at the toy rack to her left. One of the pony toys disappears from the box and appears on the screen.
***
"I'm coming, Doris!" I yell over my shoulder as I struggle with the plasti-Dad. This is SO cool! I dodge his grasping hand and grab one of the plastic swords off the nearest display. "Back, you plastic abomination!" I yell.
"I got it!" Ariel says, jumping on the toy from behind and wrapping her arms around his neck in a chokehold. "Why's this not working?" she asks after a second--before the head pops off. "Oops, sorry, not sorry," she says, holding the head away from the body. The body starts struggling, trying to get its head back. I'm almost laughing--when something headbutts my butt.
"Hey!" I say, turning and staring at the plastic pony that had just assaulted me. "That wasn't nice, pony!" I scold. The pony comes up past my waist and looks a lot bulkier than the cartoon makes it out to be. It paws the ground, and I get a BRILLIANT idea!
"I'm gonna ride it!" I say over my shoulder to Ariel, who's still fighting with the headless Superior doll.
"Um, okay?" she says, struggling dramatically.
"YEEHAW!" I say, jumping onto the pony's back. "Let's do this!"
"WILL ANYONE GIVE ME A HAND OVER HERE?" Doris shouts. "SHE'S REALLY STRONG!"
"Can't! I'm in the middle of a rodeo!" I yell back cheerfully, grabbing onto the mane and waving a hand in the air as it starts to buck. "Somebody time me!"
"SKYST--" she's cut off short and I turn to see what happened. The pony throws me and I slam into the Superior doll. We land in a puddle of water and I look down.
"Oops, sorry, Raindance," I say, floating up so she can pull herself together.
"Skystep," Ruckus says from the entry of the aisle. "You're going down, now."
"Who are you?" I ask, blankly.
"I am Ruckus! And I'm going to take you in once and for all!" she declares with a pose. "You can't go anywhere, my partner has you trapped. So it's your choice, do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"
"What did you do with my Jersey Devil?" I demand.
"She's out cold," Ruckus says, popping her knuckles and striking a fighting pose. I race right past her, falling to my knees next to Doris, who's back in human form and sprawled over the ground.
"Jersey! Jersey!" I say, pulling her head onto my lap. "If you're dead, can I have your TV?" I ask. She groans and I pat her cheek. "I'll take that as a yes," I say. "I will avenge you!" I declare, hopping to my feet and hearing a tiny thud from where her head hits the ground. "Oops, sorry," I add. "Good thing you're not awake, huh?"
Ruckus slams into me, tackling me into a display. She hits pretty hard, huh--"Oooh, shiny!" I say, looking at her hand. It's taken on a golden sheen. In fact, all of her has. "You're a metallic type?" I ask.
She hits me again. "No wonder Jersey had trouble in a fist fight," I say. "Did she try her scream on you?" I ask.
She grins, evilly. "I always carry earplugs," she says before slamming--or trying to slam into me. Instead she goes straight through, hitting the wall instead of me.
"I shoulda thought of that!" I say. "She gets all sorts of screamy whenever I walk in on her in the bathroom, you know? But there are THREE of us and everyone always goes to the same bathroom since it's the best one! Her hair takes way too long to--" Ruckus punches me, sending me flying backwards.
"Stop hitting Skystep!" Ariel shouts, jumping on Ruckus's back and riding her like I had the pony. I look up as I hear stomping footsteps--just perfectly two seconds too late. There's the headless Superior doll riding on top of the pony.
"SO awesome," I say, right before the two of them slam into me, sending me flying back and into the wall of the toy store. The world seems to go "POP!" and all of a sudden my little team is lying on the floor of the real toy store, staring blankly at Dollface, who looks at me in shock before bringing up her fists.
"Raindance! We're leaving!" I say, grabbing Doris and slinging her over my shoulder. "But this isn't the last you've seen of us!" I add, pointing at Dollface and then at Ruckus. "Next time we're going to rob a haunted hotel, got it?"
"She just HAD to add that, didn't she?" I hear Nico say silently.
***
We drop down on our couch later that evening to see what the news says about us. To my surprise, though, the first thing they show is a reporter standing with a Native American. "Do you find it offensive that she's calling herself Raindance?" the reporter asks.
"We can't just assume that she's not one of ours," the man says.
"She's awfully pale to be Native American," the reporter says.
"Yes, but I've seen the video--she turned into water, right? Her coloring might be part of her powers. We aren't going to say one way or another until we know more about this 'Raindance' girl. My daughter's a big fan of Skystep, you know? But we don't approve of cultural--" I mute the TV.
"Girls!" I yell. "We're going to go visit the natives!"
Doris sticks her head out of the bathroom, sopping wet from a shower. "What for?"
"To get Ariel adopted!" I say. "That way she can keep her name!"
"But I don't KNOW if I'm Native American," Ariel says, stepping out of the pool room. "I don't have any clue where I came from. The first thing I remember is being stuck in a cell by the government."
"Then you already have something in common with them!" I say cheerfully. "You both were screwed over by the government. Besides, you're WATER. Everyone's more than sixty percent water, right? That's as good as a blood tie!"
"So how are we going to even talk to them?" Doris asks.
"Easy! We're going gambling!"
The two look at me as if I'm crazy. Then, after a long moment, Doris sighs. "Let me finish my shower, first."
"Think they'll have those frufru drinks there?" Ariel asks.
"I'm betting on it!"
This brings us up to the present timeline, and a brand-new couple of Deadly Darlin’ shorts. And since I don’t want to give any spoilers, I’ll just step aside and let you read them!
Skye’s the Limit
“This is ridiculous,” Ruckus says. “Should we at least point out that we’re sitting right here?”
“I think they’re adorable,” Dolly says, smiling happily as she eats her second burrito. “Besides, can you really blame them? These are delicious!”
“Hey, hey, I can hear you!” I say. Today my girls and I are doing something death-defying! “And we’re NOT adorable! We’re hungry! So make fast with the burritos, people!” We’re robbing the South Branch’s cafeteria! I would have NEVER done this before I had my own team, you know, and even then I wouldn’t have done it except for one thing--it’s Taco Tuesday. (We like the burritos better, really, but Taco Tuesday rolls off the tongue better than Burrito Tuesday, right? Good thing they’re doing both!)
“I want extra hot taco sauce, please,” Ariel says, perched prettily on the edge of the table I’m standing on. “I like it with a little kick.”
“Sir, they came again,” I hear a black suit mutter into his earbud. I turn, pointing at him.
“You! Shush! You’re our hostage, remember?”
“You should have at LEAST brought a more gun-like water gun, Skye,” Ruckus says, finishing off her meal. She looks over at Voltdrain, who’s c
almly reading a book at the table next to them. “This is all your fault, you know. If you hadn’t taught the cafeteria how to make authentic Mexican food, they wouldn’t be here.”
“Si, but I have invited them over to dinner several times. They say they find this… more exciting,” he says, turning the page. “But perhaps they will come now that Jimena has returned?”
“Jimmi?” I say, distracted. I’ve never really met her, but she’s one of my big brother’s students! “I want to meet her!”
“She would like to meet you, as well!” he says, smiling widely. “We can have dinner this weekend?”
“Let’s have a barbecue! We can bring the grill up!” Ariel says.
“Nico built that barbecue grill, but we STILL haven’t figured out how to use it,” Doris says, “so that’s out. Unless we can find someone that knows how, that is.”
“Skystep!” Century says, the doors of the cafeteria slamming open as he makes his dramatic entrance. “What are your demands?”
“Hmm?” I ask, looking at him. “Oh! Um… Ariel wants extra hot sauce and I want extra avocado,” I say.
“And I want extra sour cream,” Doris decides.
“Those are your demands,” he says flatly.
“Mmhmm,” I say, hopping over to Voltdrain’s table. I pause, realizing that I’m holding a perfectly good (bright pink, yay!) water gun, and aim and shoot Century in the face. “Bang!”
He wipes it off, (although he could have easily avoided it,) rolling his eyes before nodding to the black suits. “Go ahead and serve them.”
“But sir—“
“While you’re at it, get me an especial,” Century says, heading for Ruckus and Dolly’s table and sitting down. “Hello, ladies, how are things?” he asks them.
“I feel more like a babysitter than a hero, you know,” Ruckus says, looking pointedly at me. Oh, right, Ruckus and Dolly are our sworn nemeses, aren’t they? Oh!!
“Ruckus, Ruckus! You’ve got metal skin! You should be able to figure out the barbecue grill, right?” I say, running to her side and throwing my arms around her shoulders. “Come to our barbecue!”
“Just because I get a bit metallic once in a while doesn’t mean I can understand your brother’s technology,” she says, pushing me away as I try to nuzzle her cheek with mine.
“Skyyyye! They brought the food!” Ariel calls from our original table.
“If you don’t hurry, I’m going to eat yours,” Doris threatens.
“My burritos!!” I wail, racing over to the table and digging in. I shoot Doris a glare and move my arm to block her from my plate. NOBODY messes with my burritos!
“What’s this about a barbecue?” Century asks.
“You’re not invited!” I say, sticking my tongue out at him before going back to eating. “Dolly, you can come, though!”
“Is Rochester coming?” Dolly asks.
I frown and don’t answer, wondering why I still feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of those two flirting. Maybe it’s because Rochester hugged me. Well, sure, stupid Century actually KISSED me, but he was out of his head at the time due to circumstances. Rochester just hugged me for no reason at all! Well, sort of. I rapidly shove another fork of food into my mouth to try and distract myself—and promptly choke on it.
“Slow down, Skye,” Doris says. “It’s not like I’ll really steal it.”
I look at her, and the worry disappears as easily as that. “Let’s barbecue steaks!” I say.
“We’ll have to go shopping for that,” Ariel says. “We got in trouble the last time we went shopping.”
“We get in trouble EVERY time we go shopping,” Doris points out.
“That’s what makes it fun!” I say. “Or we could go steal a cow…”
“You’re not stealing a cow,” Century calls over to me. “You wouldn’t be able to butcher it, even if you did.”
“I could too! I’m a villain!” I say, offended by that.
“More likely, you’d name it something stupid and keep it as a pet,” he says, bluntly.
“He’s right, you know,” Doris says after a second.
“I want to name it Eric!” Ariel says excitedly.
“You can’t name it that,” Doris says.
“But I like Eric,” Ariel says.
“We should have never let her see that movie,” Doris says to me.
“We should put bows on her horns,” Ariel decides.
“You’re going to name a girl cow ‘Eric’?” Doris says. “That’s a bit—“
“What color bows?” I ask Ariel. Doris groans and goes back to eating her tacos.
“I will provide the meat,” Voltdrain says. “I am sure I can figure out the barbecue grill for you.”
The entire cafeteria starts cheering, including the black suits, and I suddenly wonder who all will wind up coming to our party. “Shouldn’t they be more worried about going to a villain barbecue?” Doris asks me.
“Boys, break out the water gun supply!” one of the black suits say over his earbud, grinning from ear to ear.
“I guess not?” Ariel answers Doris with a shrug.
***
“How did it turn into this?” Doris asks as we stand at the edge of the clearing. Our precious lake is behind us, already full of people. Not only have almost all of the off-work black suits come, but so have their families. There are almost a dozen little girls in frilly swimsuits. They keep staring at us with looks of awe.
“It is a wonderful grill!” Voltdrain says from the massive grill that Nico built us. He doesn’t seem to have any problem understanding all of the buttons. I really should tell Nico that he needs to make our toys easier to understand. Oh well, I’ll just kidnap Voltdrain whenever we want to use it. He cooks better than we do, anyway.
Oh, and by the way, Jimmi is SO cute, but right now we’re busy being hostesses. “You brought me a gift, right?” I say, thrusting out a hand to the next person waiting in line. Appropriately, the black suit woman digs through her bag of swimming supplies and pulls a bag of candy out of the bottom.
“Will this work?” she asks.
“YAY!” Ariel says, grabbing the bag from me and ripping it open. “I love suckers!”
“Don’t eat all of them at once, you’ll make yourself sick,” Doris says.
“Your kids can get in for free, I guess,” I say, looking at the two boys in swimming trunks. The youngest one is staring at me a little too closely, so I lean down and poke his nose. “Whatchu lookin’ at?” I demand. He looks up at me with big, excited eyes.
“Should you be teasing little boys, Aunt Skye?” I hear a voice ask from behind me.
“ROCCO!” I say, turning and throwing my arms around him. I kiss him on his cheek, noisily, since it’s become a habit. “You came!”
“And I bet more people would have come if they knew you were throwing a party,” he says. “You didn’t even invite me! But today’s my day to check in on you, remember?”
“I should go invite everyone--” I say, stunned that I hadn’t thought of it earlier.
“Liz is on patrol, Emily and Aubrey are both working, and the twins are out tasting cakes for the wedding, so… I’ll bring them next time, okay?”
“Aww… well, I guess everyone’s here, then!” I say.
“Century’s not,” Ariel points out.
“Shut the gate, nobody else gets in!” I say, completely ignoring that. “Now that Rocco is here, we’re all good!”
“But shouldn’t we wait for Century?” Rocco asks as I head for the lake, tugging the over shirt I’m wearing off and revealing my bikini. It’s got my logo on the butt and my left boob! I’m quite proud of that fact.
“What do you think, Rocco? Isn’t your aunt sexy?” I tease him, posing.
“Skye, we don’t have a gate,” Ariel says.
“Just ignore her,” Doris says.
“And Ruckus and Dolly haven’t gotten here yet,” Ariel says, making me pause.
“Well, THEY can come in,” I
say, “but nobody else!”
“I’m absolutely not watching anymore,” Doris says.
“I want to go swimming!” Ariel says. “We got all the gifts, right?”
“We have enough candy to feed a state full of hungry children,” Doris says. “’All in all, it’s a decent haul.”
“You made them pay?” Rocco asks, laughing.
“Well, duh! Hey, hey, you didn’t answer my question! Don’t I look sexy?” I say, striking another pose.
“Skye, we’re family. You don’t check family out, remember?” he says. I pout at him.
“He just doesn’t want to tell you how flat you are,” Doris says, striking the same pose I’m holding. I give her a dirty look, because even I know she pulls it off better than I do.
“Is it like this?” Ariel asks, posing as well. Rocco clears his throat and looks away, discreetly. He didn’t look away discreetly when I did it! The punk. Oh well, I think, breaking into a grin, at least he’s here!
“Next pose!” I say, changing my pose. If they’re going to copy me, I might as well get some entertainment out of it!
“I’m not doing that,” Doris says, staring at me.
“You look ridiculous,” Ariel says. “I’m going swimming now, so…”
“You can just stay like that,” Doris finishes, and the two of them walk away, leaving me in the running man pose.
“You two are no fun!” I yell after them, and then drape my arms over Rocco’s shoulders, happily. “Hey, Rocco, hey, Rocco, have you asked Carla out yeeeet?”
My hanging off of him had no effect, but my question made him blush. Score one for me! “Carla and I are just friends, Aunt Skye,” he says, walking towards the lake and towing me along with him. I float, so it’s not hard to do! “Besides, you’re my favorite girl,” he teases me.
I go still, something occurring to me. “Have you gone to see your mom?”
“Huh?” he says.