by Ian Dalton
While giving him a semi-fake laugh, Natalie scanned the room. "Where’s the bathroom?"
Laura pointed the way, and Natalie took off. After ten minutes, when neither Rob nor Natalie had returned, Laura and Brian headed off to look for them. First they searched the downstairs without any luck, but when Laura and Brian walked into the master bedroom, they found the two of them kissing. Turning in shock to see Laura, Rob stepped away from Natalie. "It’s not what it looks like."
Laura scoffed. "It looks like you were kissing."
"I mean, she kissed me, but I didn’t... Nothing happened. I mean, I ended things before—" Rob stopped when he realized he'd said too much.
"So there was something to end?" Laura demanded.
"Just a little something. It meant nothing. I ended it before Spring Break. I got scared, but now I know that I love only you. I didn’t know she was coming down here."
Walking quickly to Rob, Laura swung to slap him and missed, losing her balance and falling to the floor in the process. Rob just stood, frozen as Brian rushed to help her to her feet.
Laura narrowed her eyes. "When the hell did this start?"
After closing his eyes, Rob exhaled. "It, uh, started back in February. I was lonely, and she came over, looking for Brian." He motioned to Brian. "You were at the library, and it just—"
Laura took a step toward her boyfriend, swung, and missed again when he pulled back.
Brian gently grabbed Laura to steady her. "Want some help?"
"Please."
Getting right in Rob's face, Brian glared at him. Laura took a step back, and Natalie watched in awe.
Rob put on an uncomfortable smile. "Look, I know you want to hit me, but you won’t, so let’s just talk—"
Brian punched Rob hard in the face, and he collapsed to the floor, as Natalie looked on, mesmerized. Brian stood over him and said, "You’re such a dick." Turning his attention to Natalie, he sneered. "And you’re a monster. I’m such a moron. You had me waiting for you. Waiting, while you were fucking him." He shook his head at her, and Natalie returned a look like she was absolutely turned on by what had just happened.
Grimacing, Rob held his face as he said to Laura, "Sorry."
Laura couldn't even look at him as she growled, "Screw you."
After shooting Rob a pitiful look, Natalie turned to Brian with her lips parted. Their eyes met, and he waited for her to say something, anything, but she didn’t utter a word. She simply stared at him, impressed. After a moment, he sighed, turned, and headed from the room. Laura shook her head at them both and then followed after him.
33
As Brian drove Laura to her dorm, he looked over to find her staring out the window in what appeared to be a daze. Turning to smile at him, she nearly broke into a chuckle. "You really nailed him good."
He gripped the steering wheel. "I’ve never hit anyone before. It felt, uh, kind of amazing."
Her smile faded. "I can’t believe he’s been screwing that bleach-headed skank for months now. He admitted it."
"And I didn’t see it either. I’m such a fucking moron."
"So, she can do this thing with her leg where she puts it over her head. She’s soooo flexible," Laura said in a mocking tone and then added, "You can’t base a relationship on flexibility."
"You really shouldn’t," Brian agreed self-consciously.
"I’m flexible, too," Laura said defensively.
After giving her a supportive nod, Brian let the silence drag until Laura fell asleep as they neared campus. When he parked the car, Brian touched her arm to wake her. "We’re here."
Laura fought her way to consciousness, and he helped her to her dorm. Outside her door, he gazed wearily at her. "Can I take a bus back to Rob’s from here, or..."
"Just come in for a few minutes. I’ll have a couple Cokes and drive you back in, like, an hour or something."
After pondering his options, Brian reluctantly agreed. Once inside her room, Laura flopped on the bed. She rolled over, and he could hear her crying. He stood nearby, the awkwardness of the situation beginning to weigh on him.
After mumbling a nearly-silent expletive, he gave her a sympathetic look. "It’s really going to be okay. I think he’s serious about how much he loves you. You guys were together for a long time. I know he’s an ass and made a mistake, but he was telling me the other day how crazy he is about you. It almost sounded like he was getting ready to ask you to marry him, even."
"I would never marry him. He’s been lying to me for months."
She looked up at him with sad eyes. "Will you just lie next to me for a few minutes? I promise, I’ll drive you back soon."
Moving her body over to the wall, she looked at him, waiting. After a few awkward seconds, he exhaled, and then climbed in bed next to her.
"Do you think he loves her?"
"No way. She has this power over men. I think he already sees that."
"I’ve never been with anyone else, you know. And now who knows how many girls he’s been out there having sex with?"
He painted on a cheery, supportive smile. "I’m sure it was just the one. I would know if he was—"
She glared at him. "You didn’t know about this one." Brian conceded the point with his eyes. After taking a deep, calming breath, her mood seemed to turn on a dime as she gave him a gentle smile. "Sorry. I shouldn’t take this out you."
He waved her away like he understood.
She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Thanks for staying with me. I really didn’t want to be alone." Pulling her hand from him, she closed her eyes and quickly passed out. Brian watched her for a few minutes before falling asleep himself.
About thirty minutes later, Brian awoke in the middle of a vivid dream. It was a dream of Jillian giving him an amazing blowjob on the tennis court. When he reached semi-consciousness, he looked over and didn’t see Laura next to him on the pillow. Instead, he felt something lower, and when he looked down, he saw Laura holding his penis.
"Hey!" He shook his head groggily.
She looked up at him. "You really have one gorgeous cock." Pulling her eyes from his face, she moved her mouth toward it. Quickly, he turned and fell off the bed, landed on his ass, and jumped up to stand as he covered his junk.
She repeated the penis compliment, and Brian said, "I know. I know." He struggled to open his pants and shove it back in. "I keep hearing that. Sure, maybe it’s nice and all, but it’s just a dick, for God’s sake. I—"
"What’s wrong?"
"You can't start doing that without…"
"What?" she said sexily. "I told you I’ve never been with anyone else. How do I know what I’ve been missing all these years?"
Sitting up in bed, she removed her shirt and bra, as Brian tried to avoid looking at her. "Aren’t you attracted to me?"
Brian sat on her roommate’s bed across the room and uncomfortably glanced up at her. "Sure, I am." He did certainly find her attractive, and she looked pretty hot sitting up in bed with no shirt. "But I’m in a really weird place right now. I have, uh—"
"I know how we could both get back at Rob," Laura said in an evil-yet-sexy tone. "I haven’t done everything with him, but we could do... everything."
"What?" He looked at her, shockingly aware of what she might be referring to.
She paused, gazing at him with a somewhat steamy—but mostly drunk—look. "Rob’s always been wanting to do that, and I’ve been holding back, you know, to save something for when we got married, but now there won’t be any marriage with him, so..."
Looking away nervously, he stammered, "I, uh, feel a little... and I really shouldn’t. You’re great, and all. I mean, your ass is top-shelf, and I’d love to, uh… But even though he’s a douche, he’s still kind of my best friend, or was, or… I don’t know..."
He closed his eyes, thinking. After giving him a slightly disappointed look, she put her shirt back on. He thought he probably turned Laura’s generous offer down mainly because he really wanted to be with Jillian. And how could he
sleep with Rob’s girlfriend at the same time that he also wanted to sleep with his mother and not be the absolutely lowest piece of shit on the planet?
Laura rolled over, her face buried in the pillow, and Brian heard something muffled that sounded like, "Just go."
"But I kinda need a ride."
"Get out of here," she said loudly into the pillow.
"You’ll probably thank me in the morning," he said, a little too proud of himself.
Turning to him, she gave him a look like she wanted to decapitate him. He quickly left the room.
34
It took Brian almost an hour, using a combination of running and walking, to make it the approximately six miles back to Jillian’s house. He used his key to go inside and found Jillian asleep in her room, but Rob was not in his. It was after 3:00; Brian was exhausted and flopped into bed, still fully clothed.
At just after 8:00, Rob struggled to wake the soundly-sleeping Brian. He tapped him and then called his name loudly, but Brian did nothing more than toss and turn. Rob pushed him hard in the shoulder a few times to no avail, so he left the room. Returning with an alarm clock, he plugged it in and set the alarm to go off one minute later. He placed it right next to Brian’s head and cranked the wheel on the volume all the way up. Then he stepped back and waited while wearing an evil smile. The digital clock advanced one minute, but nothing happened. Frowning, he exhaled deeply and then rushed to the clock while mumbling obscenities. He checked the alarm time, and it was set correctly. He spun the volume wheel all the way to the other side, and the alarm quickly shot up to a full blast of annoying buzzes.
Rob cringed from the noise, and Brian shot straight up in bed and looked around the room, confused. After hitting the off button, Rob placed the alarm on the nightstand.
As Brian fought to regain consciousness, Rob yanked him up by his shirt. "I can’t believe you tried to sleep with her."
"What are you talking about?" Brian asked with his eyes only half-open.
"Probably this whole week you’ve been sneaking around, trying to fuck her behind my back, haven’t you? You’ve been acting different. I knew something was up," Rob released his shirt, and Brian landed back against the pillow. Sitting on the bed, Rob held his head in his hands.
As he struggled to find the words, Brian took a deep breath. "Look, I can explain. It wasn’t something that I—"
"I’ve so screwed this up. I was going to ask her to marry me, and..."
"What? Who?" Brian asked, confused.
"Who the hell do you think we’re talking about?" Rob asked angrily.
Brian stopped to knock a few more cobwebs from his brain, figured it out, looked relieved, and then casually said, "Oh, Laura. You have it all wrong. She was the one trying to have sex with me. I just—"
With fire in his eyes, Rob bolted upright, grabbing Brian by the shirt again. "What the fuck are you taking about?"
Brian’s eyes shot open wide. "Look, I drove her home, and I didn’t have any way to get back. So she said to come in until she sobered up, and then she said she’d drive me back."
Rob gave him a skeptical glare. "I want to know everything that happened. Every detail."
"I think she was drunk and trying to make you jealous. Nothing really happened."
Rob still wasn’t buying it. Brian rolled his eyes. "Okay, maybe she touched my dick for a minute. I was asleep, and she just sorta pulled it out. That was it, really. She loves you, Dude. Nothing happened. I put on the brakes, and she realized she didn’t really want to have sex with me. Really, she was only doing it to make you jealous."
After letting go of Brian’s shirt, Rob walked across the room. Brian got out of bed, went to him, and then placed a hand on his shoulder. "That’s exactly what happened."
Rob looked at him like he really wanted to believe him. "Really?"
Brian nodded, and although he did think that Laura was only trying to sleep with him to spite Rob or to make him jealous, he felt the little detail about her trying to give him a blowjob and the rather big detail about her offering him other things were better left unsaid.
Rob gave him a slight smile, and they stood together in silent reflection until Brian realized there was an unresolved issue they had yet to discuss. He narrowed his eyes, turned, and paced around the room. "Um, if we’re done with the whole Laura thing, can we talk about the little matter of you fucking Natalie behind my back for who-knows-how-long while you knew I was crazy about her?"
Rob’s jaw dropped as he looked at Brian. "I thought we worked all that out last night."
"Worked it out how?"
"When you punched me."
"What the fuck are you talking about? It’s not worked out. When did it start? Who came on to whom first? Does she touch your dick? I know she has a thing about that..." Brian rambled all these questions quickly as he walked to the window and looked out.
Rob began, "I’m not sure how it happened. As I said, she came over to the suite, looking for you, and you weren’t there and—"
Spotting Natalie sleeping on a lounge chair in the backyard, Brian waved Rob over. "There she is."
"Who?"
"Natalie."
Rob joined him at the window. "The details aren’t important. Look, I ended things with her last night, and I really think she wants to get back together with you. She wouldn’t shut up about the way you hit me and how you seemed so—"
"We were never together!" Brian shot back.
"Whatever, she wants a fresh start with you."
"Why? Because you dumped her?"
"No! Maybe. I don’t know. Does it really matter, anyway?"
"She likes to mess with guys. She gets all in your head, and I think she’s really crazy." Slumping against the wall, Brian stared at the floor.
"Natalie and I had a long talk, and I think she really has changed. We ended things kinda mutually, and she told me she really likes you and is sorry about everything. She was just scared, and you reminded her of this guy from her past, but she says she’s all over that now."
Unconvinced, Brian looked at Rob and then glanced back out the window at Natalie. He thought she did look kind of good down there, even through she was a complete mess.
"She said she was going to try to find you last night. She wanted to talk to you."
Brian smiled, warming to the idea. "She is pretty hot."
"She is, and I really think deep down inside, she’s not a complete psycho."
Brian nodded casually. "It would be weird dating her when I know you’ve had sex with her. What exactly did you guys—"
"Do you really want details?" Rob asked. Brian shook his head no, and then Rob added, "Look, I promise you, we never went all the way. In the most technical terms, I swear on my mother’s life, I did not put my penis inside her vagina. Not once. That, I promise you."
"Okay, I believe you." At first Brian was relieved, but then he looked at Rob, confused. After pondering it a moment, he shook off trying to make sense of what his friend had just told him, but then his eyes widened. "Your mother’s not here is she? She isn’t listening to all this shit?"
"No, she went out." Rob glanced down to Natalie. "Now go down there and figure this out with her. I’ve got to go fix things with Laura."
35
Brian was frowning a little as he stood next to the sleeping Natalie. After studying her closely for a moment, he gently woke her up. When Natalie saw him, she stood, jumped into his arms, and wouldn’t let go. His anger melted into a smile. She told him she was so sorry, that she was an idiot, that she would never ever hurt him or cheat on him again, and she begged him to drive back to Atlanta with her right then. She said she would answer every question he had and be completely honest about all of it.
He agreed, and she hugged him again. As he held her, he looked over her shoulder at the tennis court, wondering if he was making a big mistake.
After collecting his things, Brian left Rob and Jillian a short note about how he was leaving and how much he appreciat
ed their letting him stay in the house. He also thanked Jillian for the great tennis matches.
Just as Natalie and Brian were about to drive off, Jillian pulled into the driveway and parked. Brian watched as she got out of the car. She didn’t see him as she entered the house.
Once inside, she grabbed the note, read the first sentence, and continued to read as she walked out to the backyard.
Brian went to the front door and found it locked. He used the key he'd forgotten to return and went inside. Walking into the kitchen, he spotted Jillian through the window, heading to the tennis court. Outside, he found her sitting on the tennis court bench.
When she saw him, she smiled. "I got your note. Thought you had already gone."
"I almost was... then I saw you drive up."
He sat down next to her. "I’m driving back to school with Natalie."
She sighed, struggling to find the words. "I… I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have the wrong impression of me. Out of the few days I’ve known you, I was loopy on Ambien and wine, drunk, and then high. If I have two glasses of wine in a week, that’s a lot for me."
He gazed dreamily at her like she couldn't be more wrong. "No, I didn’t think anything... It looked like you were having a rough week, and this whole thing that happened—or almost happened—between us probably didn’t help."
A little embarrassed, she felt the need to explain even more. "I usually don’t go running around outside naked and spying on young men while they sleep and shower."
"Don’t worry about it, it’s not a—" His eyes shot wide open. "What... shower?"
"What?" she asked casually, trying to cover her tracks when she realized that she might not have told him about the shower.
"You said you spied on me when I showered. When was, uh—"
"Didn’t we already talk about that?"
"No, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered. When, exactly, was this?"
She closed her eyes, busted. "After the second time we played tennis."