“Okay, you have to start at the beginning.”
I filled Maren in on the tension of the weekend, on the truce pancakes and the skiing accident. I told her about my lame-ass date with Craig and how much fun Dev and I had hanging out and playing board games, him calling me Khaleesi and being obsessed about Rogelio. When I got to the handholding, she gasped.
“What?” I asked, surprised. My friend was in no way a Pollyanna, and I wondered if she was judging me. I didn’t consider what we did “cheating,” but maybe Maren saw it differently. I braced myself for her response.
“That’s seriously hot.”
I sighed with relief, running my fingers through my hair as I remembered how every nerve had been awakened when he ran his fingers over my warm skin.
“I know,” I said, grabbing a donut and taking a bite. The soft, rich pastry comforted me, but not nearly enough. “For something so subtle, so…what’s the word?”
“Simple?” Maren asked with wide eyes. “Sweet?”
“Innocent,” I said with a decisive nod. “For something so innocent, it was such a turn-on. I’m so serious.”
“Sounds like it. I always knew Dev was a romantic at heart.”
“It was this perfect moment, Mare. And I’ll never get it back. It’s over already.”
“Why?”
“You guys came in, and I yanked my hand away. He must think I’m embarrassed of him or something.”
“He has a point. The guy’s annoyed you since the day you met.”
“I know, I know, but it was only because he tried too hard, you know? I hate that. But this weekend, he hasn’t; he’s just been himself. Or at least I think I saw the real him. I have no idea what’s real anymore.”
“I hate to bring up the elephant in the room.”
I nodded, knowing exactly who she was talking about. “Trupti, I know. I’m not a cheater, Mare.”
“I know. Where do you think his head’s at with that? Should I ask Peter?”
“No, absolutely not. Like I said, it’s done. We shared a sweet moment, and now things are back to the way they’ve always been. Totally at odds. Worst thing is, he called me Khaleesi again. When he first said it hours before, he was flirty and cute, but this time there was venom in his words. He totally changed it, and I hate him for that.”
“You don’t hate him.” She shook her head slowly back and forth with a sympathetic smile.
“Ugh, I know. That’s the problem. You have no idea how badly I want to go back in time to the day you asked me to come with you on this trip. I’d have said ‘hell no’ and spent my New Year’s weekend reading books in my PJs and bingeing The Handmaid’s Tale. And eating these donuts. These are amazing!”
“Well, that sounds depressing.”
“Hey, that show is genius.”
She put one hand up in surrender as she sipped her coffee. “Not disputing that. I just think this can still be fixed. We just need to figure out how to do it.”
Finishing the last of my donut, I waved her off. “Absolutely not. It is what it is. He has a girlfriend, and we’re back to the old Dev and Lyra. It was like Halley’s comet or something.”
“What? You anticipate it for years and suddenly it’s here?”
“Yep, then you blink and that shit is gone. And it won’t come back during your lifetime.”
Maren smirked.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh my God, just say it.”
“That’s totally a joke Dev would make.”
“Get out of my room,” I deadpanned, kicking her gently from beneath my blankets. She let out a laugh in response.
“I’m serious, c’mon…Halley’s comet?”
“What? It popped in my head!”
“I just think it’s cute, that’s all. You two have been here for a few days, maybe you’re rubbing off on each other.”
“Yeah, well, only one more full day and then we can leave tomorrow and I can be done with this…with all of this.”
“Do you really mean that?”
I paused for a second. “I don’t know. And the thing is none of this even matters. The guy has a girlfriend, a serious girlfriend. He was going to propose to her two years ago!”
“I know, but as Peter says, this time around things are just different. Dev doesn’t talk about her the way he used to years ago; he doesn’t jump every time she tells him to. Their whole dynamic has shifted, and that was way before this weekend. So don’t even start trying to blame yourself.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line. “You know me so well.”
“In my opinion, that relationship is on borrowed time. Dev won’t let her spend time with his family until she spends time with all of us, which she’s avoiding. He’s at the end of his rope; I can feel it.”
“Still… He shouldn’t jump into anything right away anyway.”
“True, but sometimes things are just meant to be, like two characters that come to mind…” She raised both eyebrows and stared at my copy of Pride & Prejudice resting on the nightstand.
“Oh Maren, don’t start with the Mr. Darcy nonsense, puh-lease. I’m literally begging you.”
“Whatever. You’ve read that book enough times to know how this all ends.”
I thrust myself back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it to my face, letting out an exhausted and frustrated groan. Maren yanked the pillow away, laughing as she climbed to her feet.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said with a smile. “But I love you, and I’ll help you through this however I can.”
I sighed. “Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“I’m going to take a shower. Meet me out there? Power’s back on.”
“Yeah, I noticed when everything in my room turned on at three in the morning.”
“Did you sleep at all?”
“Not a wink.”
“I’d suggest a nap, but you finished your coffee.”
“I’ll be fine. Just give me a little bit. I’m not ready to face him just yet.”
“I get it.” She smiled and opened the door.
“And Mare?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for this. I do feel a little bit better.”
She smiled, her brown eyes warm and kind. “That’s what I’m here for.”
When I was fourteen, I had a strong flirtation with a boy at summer camp. We did just about everything together—canoeing, tennis, swimming. I even joined archery so I could be near him during that forty-five-minute time block twice each week.
Derrick.
That was his name.
Ahh, Derrick. I couldn’t get enough of him.
That is, until I wasn’t ready to make out with him in the woods after lights out. I’d never had a boyfriend and the idea of meeting him secretly just felt wrong. I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble with counselors and quite frankly, I hadn’t yet been kissed. And as crazy as I was for Derrick, I wasn’t ready for a full-on make-out session with him or anyone, for that matter. I needed more time for such things.
When I refused his invitation but offered to sit and hold hands at the campfire, Derrick said nothing, turned, and walked away from me. I figured his ego was a little bruised, but he would get over it and things would go back to normal the next day. We’d swim, tell jokes, and talk about our favorite books and movies.
That is, until Sharon, another girl in my cabin, whispered to a friend that she needed someone to cover for her after lights out. Derrick wanted to meet her in the woods.
My heart broke for the first time. Not only was I sad to lose the promise of something exciting and sweet with the boy I’d flirted with for weeks, but I felt cheap. And worst of all, I was easily replaceable.
I never wanted to be replaceable.
Since then, I’d been pretty tough to please when it came to my romantic life. I wasn’t easily swayed by a flirt with promises of the future. I didn’t swoon when a guy told me he could see himself falling for me, and I didn’t put mu
ch stock into a future with almost any guy I dated.
It’s funny how something as trivial as a first crush can have such a lasting impact on your life, but Derrick did. And it wasn’t something I would soon forget.
When I finally climbed out of bed on New Year’s Day and attempted to wash away the previous night, I made the decision to leave my moment with Dev in the past. And so, when Maren and Allison wanted to ski, I jumped at the chance for some girl time on the slopes. Besides, before Dev got hurt, I was really enjoying myself on the bunny hill. I knew I could handle trying a few more basic hills at the resort. The guys were undecided on their plans when we left the room, but that was completely fine with me. Dev still wouldn’t make eye contact, so I jumped at the chance to be as far away from him as possible. And seeing as his ankle was still sprained, I was willing to bet my life savings that he wouldn’t be gearing up for the slopes anytime soon.
After three successful runs down the moderate slopes, I was genuinely surprised to see Peter and Scott making their way toward the nearest ski lift. Peter waved to Maren who then asked, “Where’s Dev?”
“He’s chillin’ by the fire inside the lodge.”
“Won’t he be bored?”
“Nah, he won’t miss us. He’s on his phone, and he just ordered cheesecake and cocoa.”
Just hearing the word “cocoa” made my stomach twist, remembering our joke just two days prior.
Stop thinking about him, Lyra. He doesn’t deserve your wistfulness.
After another hour on the slopes, Allison suggested we go inside to warm up and have a drink. Maren and I quickly agreed. Secretly, I hoped Dev had retreated to the room so I wouldn’t have to see him.
No such luck.
When we opened the door to the lodge, I saw him lounging on a chaise lounge near the fire with a shit-eating grin on his face. And he wasn’t alone. Sitting in an armchair next to him, holding a cup of cocoa in her hand, was a beautiful brunette with a perfect body.
I thought steam was going to come out of my nose.
“Hey, girls,” Dev said, sounding like he didn’t have a care in the world. “How were the slopes?”
“Good,” Allison replied, clueless to the tension between Dev and me. “We’re just gonna get some drinks.”
“Wanna join us?” Dev asked, a smug expression on his face. I wanted to punch him. “Sheila here was just telling me all about life in California.”
“I’m here on vacation.”
“All by yourself?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.
“Nah, she’s gonna catch up with her girls later.”
“I’m a nurse. Couldn’t help but notice the patient here,” Sheila said. I was sure she was a sweet person, and I meant her no disrespect at all. She had no idea the complex web she’d wandered into. “And we just got to talking.”
“Well, we won’t keep you,” Maren said, gesturing toward an empty table near the refreshment area. She leaned in close as we turned away from Dev and Sheila and whispered in my ear. “You okay?”
“Just fine.”
And suddenly, I was fourteen again and crying into my pillow as Derrick made out with another girl in the woods. Dev was no different. The second things didn’t work with us, the moment I pulled my hand away, he was ready to find someone else to distract him from his relationship, to make him laugh and feel desirable.
I felt awful, I felt cheap, I felt…replaceable.
And it broke my heart. Again.
Chapter 11
DEV
I knew the girls were walking into the lodge. I saw them rounding the bend about a half mile from the door. I spotted Lyra’s bright teal puffer jacket right away, and I knew I had just enough time to do something to even the score between us.
Childish? Absolutely.
Worth it? Yet to be determined.
A cute brunette with porcelain skin and a tight body was filling up her cup with hot cocoa. I knew she could help me get under Lyra’s skin in a big way.
“Careful, this stuff could melt your face off. Give it time to cool,” I said with a confident grin. The brunette looked up from her steaming cup and gave me an awkward smile in return, then her attention jumped to my injured foot.
“Oh no, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself out there?”
She carried her cup over to the armchair next to me, and I knew I could bullshit long enough for Lyra to walk through that door.
Bingo, bitches!
“Sprained it, yeah. But my buddies wanna ski, so I’m suckin’ it up.”
“Make sure you keep it elevated.”
I gave her a playful salute. “Will do.”
“Sorry, I’m a nurse, can’t help it.”
“No, I appreciate it. You here by yourself?”
“Nah, my friends are still getting ready. I was tired of waiting.” She extended her hand to me, licking her lips. “Sheila.”
“Dev.”
“Interesting name.”
“I’m an interesting guy.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Where are you from, Sheila?”
“Napa.”
“Nice,” I said, raising both eyebrows in overblown enthusiasm. “So you traded wine for the slopes, eh?”
“Something like that,” she said, crossing her legs and biting down on her lower lip. I knew I had her full attention. And Lyra would too…
Speaking of Lyra, the girls walked in two seconds later, and I watched as Lyra’s expression soured the moment she saw Sheila. I amped up my smile to rub salt in the wound. I barely had enough time to introduce Lyra before the girls hurried away to an empty table. As they walked away, Maren shot me a dirty look.
Well, I guess she knows.
I couldn’t tell you much about the rest of my conversation with Sheila, the Napa nurse, because my brain was focused and preoccupied on Lyra. I wouldn’t allow myself to turn around to see the expression on her face, but I was haunted a little bit by the way her eyebrows knitted when they walked away.
You went too far, Dev. You always go too far.
When it came to Lyra, I was almost always trying too hard. Too hard to impress, too hard to aggravate. But when the power went out I was just…me. And I thought she was just her too. Everything was easy; everything was exciting. Our defenses were down, and the tension between us was at an all-time high.
It was awesome. And as angry as I was with her, I was desperate to get that back.
Sheila’s friends entered the lodge, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we said our goodbyes. She’d served a purpose, but I was ready to be rid of her and attempt to mend things with Lyra. I’d salvaged my ego a little bit and was ready to play nice again.
Hopefully she’d play nice in return.
After grabbing my crutches, I hobbled over as confidently as I could to the girls at their table. Lyra caught sight of me and pressed her lips together in total annoyance, looking out the window. Allison smiled brightly and grabbed a nearby chair as I approached their table.
Well, Allison doesn’t know.
“How’s that foot?” Allison asked.
“It’s hanging in there. I’ll go see my doctor later this week, make sure it’s healing okay, but I probably won’t get back on the slopes anytime soon.”
Lyra pretended to choke on her drink.
“Something you wanna say?” I asked, raising both eyebrows.
“I mean, c’mon…” Lyra said with a smirk.
“C’mon, what?”
“What were the chances of you ever getting ‘back on the slopes’ anyway?”
“Lyra—” Maren interrupted.
Lyra shrugged. “I’m just being real.”
“Always,” I said with a grin, trying to get her to loosen up.
“So, how’s your friend?”
“Oh, you mean Sheila?”
Lyra nodded, narrowing her eyes.
“Oh she’s fine. Probably on the ski lift by now.” Her expression didn’t change, and I knew I had to get her alone, talk eve
rything out. “So, Lyra, can I, uh… Can I talk to you alone?”
Maren’s mouth dropped open ever so slightly, as did Lyra’s.
“I was just going to head upstairs and change.”
“Great, I’ll go with you.”
Lyra sighed. “Fine. Do you need a wheelchair or something?”
“Nah, I’m fine with these.”
Lyra rose to her feet. I half expected her to bolt to the elevator, leaving me in the dust, but she didn’t. She walked at a pace where I could keep up, hobbling along with my crutches. Luckily we were the only two people riding the elevator.
“Look,” I began, leaning against the back of the elevator, steadying myself with the bar. “We both said a lot of shit last night, a lot of it we didn’t even mean.”
Lyra crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Like what?”
“Shit, Lyra. You bruised my ego, all right? Is that what you wanna hear?”
Thump. Thump.
The elevator stopped.
“Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no,” Lyra said, pacing the elevator. “How is this happening?”
“Relax, I’m sure it’ll be back on in a second.”
“No, you don’t understand,” she said, placing a hand on her neck, her cheeks turning a deep red. Her nostrils flared and her pupils dilated. “I’m claustrophobic. Like really bad.” With a start, she lunged at the buttons on the elevator, hammering against the “Emergency Call” button over and over. After several more seconds of her pacing back and forth, we heard a distant voice answer the call.
“We’ll have you out of there in just a few minutes. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
“Please,” Lyra begged, her voice frantic. “I can’t do this. I need to get out!”
“Ma’am, I promise, we’ll have you moving again in just a few moments. Try to calm yourself down; there’s nothing to worry about. You are safe and secure within the elevator.”
“I’ll take care of her, thank you!” I yelled out to the voice. I reached one arm out to Lyra, attempting to rub a hand down her shoulder, trying my best to soothe her. “We’ll be back in the room before you know it.”
“I just… I can’t breathe in places like this. I hate elevators, hate them!”
Stuck With Me: A With Me in Seattle Universe Novel Page 10