by Ari McKay
Drew’s abdominal muscles quivered in response, and he arched up, seeking more. “Too bad,” he said, sifting his fingers through Joe’s hair before tugging experimentally to see how Joe responded. “I’m starting to have fantasies about you pinning my wrists and growling in my ear while you fuck me through the mattress, but I reckon we can make do with hands and mouths this time.”
Joe gave a small growl of pleasure at the tugging, but even in the darkness, Drew could see the way Joe’s eyebrows shot up at his comment. “And here I was thinking you were no more of a bottom than I am.”
Drew flashed a playful grin as he tugged Joe’s hair again, harder this time. “I’m flexible. Depends on who I’m with, and what kind of mood I’m in.”
“I see.” Joe knelt on the mattress and grabbed both of Drew’s wrists. Using one hand, he pinned them to the pillow above Drew’s head. With his other hand he stroked Drew’s abdomen, combing his fingers down along Drew’s treasure trail. His teeth flashed in the low light as he gave a feral grin and wrapped his fingers around Drew’s cock. “I guess since I can’t pin you and fuck you, you’ll have to settle for the next best thing.”
White-hot need zinged along Drew’s nerve endings, and his breathing grew short and shallow as he bucked his hips against Joe’s hand. “It’ll do for now,” he said, sounding breathless even to himself.
“Good.” Joe stroked Drew’s cock, moving at a torturously slow pace. “Let’s see how long you can hold out.”
“Asshole,” Drew groaned, but there wasn’t any heat in it. He tugged at his wrists, wanting to feel Joe’s strength, and he rocked his hips, trying to ease the ache of arousal that Joe was stoking, but not relieving.
“Now that’s no way to get what you want.” Joe stilled his hand, staring down at Drew with a frown. “Begging is more likely to make me go faster. Can you beg, Drew?”
Oh, Joe wanted to play that game, did he? Maybe he didn’t think Drew could do it—or would do it. Maybe he thought Drew’s pride wouldn’t let him beg Joe, of all people, for anything, or maybe he intended it as a challenge. But Joe didn’t realize how accommodating Drew could be under the right circumstances or the extent of what he’d do to get what he wanted.
He relaxed his body and went pliant and yielding beneath Joe, and he gazed up at Joe with wide eyes and parted lips. “Please,” he said, following up with a soft whimper for good measure. “Please, Joe, I need more. I need you.”
Joe’s eyes grew wide, as though Drew actually had managed to surprise him, but then he growled again and swooped down to press his lips against Drew’s in a rough, demanding kiss. At the same time he stroked Drew’s cock again, quickening the pace of his hand to one that would soon push Drew toward the edge. Drew returned the kiss with greedy hunger, letting it drive his need even higher. Joe’s fingers were strong and sure, and Drew couldn’t help but respond as each caress made arousal coil tighter and tighter within him.
As if sensing Drew’s growing need, Joe sped up the pace more. Then all at once, when Drew was fast approaching the brink, Joe stopped, pulling back from the kiss and looking down at Drew hungrily.
“Come for me.”
Drew recognized the note of command in Joe’s voice, and his instincts urged him to obey. He wanted to obey—wanted to belong to Joe the way Finn did—and so he let go, holding back nothing as ecstasy washed over him.
Joe began to stroke him again through his release, heightening and prolonging the pleasure. “Yes, that’s it,” he murmured, his eyes riveted on Drew’s face, watching every nuance. “Good.”
Drew’s skin was flushed and dappled with sweat as he moved sinuously beneath Joe, gasping for air as the pleasure slowly ebbed, leaving him sated. “So good,” he murmured, gazing at Joe with half-lidded eyes. “Kiss me again, Joe.”
With a soft moan Joe did as Drew asked, claiming Drew’s lips with his. There was a slightly different feel to the kiss this time, something that might almost be confused with tenderness, if Drew thought Joe was capable of feeling any such thing for him. Joe released Drew’s wrists, and Drew slid his arms around Joe’s shoulders to draw him close and tight as the kiss continued, slow and deep. Drew poured his own growing affection for Joe into it, hoping to strengthen their connection and prove Joe had his full acceptance.
After a while Joe drew back. “Let me go get a washcloth and clean you up.”
“Okay.” Drew stretched leisurely, a satisfied purr rumbling in his chest, and a small half smile curved his lips as he watched Joe walk away.
A minute or so later Joe was back, holding a washcloth in one hand and a hand towel in the other. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently cleaned Drew up.
“There,” he said when he’d finished. He dropped the used cloths on the floor.
“Thanks.” Drew held out both arms and beckoned to Joe. “Now get naked and come here. It’s your turn.”
For someone who had seemed so dominant only a few minutes before, Joe now appeared to hesitate. “You don’t have to,” he said slowly. “I’m okay.”
“No, I don’t have to, but I want to,” Drew said. He sat up and scooted over to sit behind Joe, plastering himself against Joe’s back. He left a trail of little nipping kisses along Joe’s shoulder as he slid his arms around Joe’s waist and stroked his bare stomach. “I want to see how fast I can get you hard. I want to watch your face and listen to the sounds you make when you come.”
Joe turned his head to look at Drew over his shoulder. “I… I don’t know.” He dropped his gaze. “What do I tell Finn?”
“The truth,” Drew said simply. He rested his chin on Joe’s shoulder and hooked his legs over Joe’s thighs to make sure Joe couldn’t get up and walk away. “You needed someone, and I was here for you. Maybe even admit you’re a little attracted to me,” he teased. “Finn isn’t going to be angry or upset, especially not if you feel better as a result of it.”
“It’s not the sex.” Joe drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “I know he wouldn’t care about that, he’s not a hypocrite. It’s… you being here for me, instead of him. And me allowing it. You giving me something he couldn’t. How do you think that would make him feel? I know how it made me feel, and I don’t want to cause him pain.”
“Do you want my honest opinion?” Drew asked, stroking Joe’s chest in a way that was intended to soothe rather than arouse.
“Sure.” Joe tensed slightly beneath Drew’s hands, as though steeling himself to hear something unpleasant. “It’s not like he and I discussed anything like this happening, and the one time I asked him how he might feel about me finding someone else, he was at a loss.”
“So here’s the thing,” Drew said, choosing his words with care. He wanted to reassure Joe, not make him feel guilty or defensive. “Finn and I have a pretty similar outlook when it comes to relationships, and that outlook boils down to ‘it’s not pie.’ Finn loves you. He wants you to be healthy and happy. He also loves me, so I think this is the best case scenario as far as he’s concerned. If he can’t be here for you, then at least you have someone he knows and trusts, and you’re not dealing with this alone. I know if I was in Finn’s position, I wouldn’t begrudge you a damned thing because your mental and emotional health are more important.”
Silence stretched out after Drew finished speaking, but Drew had gotten to know Joe well enough to realize he was considering what Drew had said very seriously. After a few minutes he relaxed against Drew. “I guess you’re right. And I can’t judge his feelings based on my own. I just… I don’t want him to feel like sleeping with you is something I’m doing to get back at him. You see… things weren’t that great between us just before Finn was kidnapped. I was trying, but I know he could tell it was hurting me to do it. I’d even been thinking about just… going away.” Joe shrugged somewhat awkwardly. “I even broke our last date before he was taken. It was getting harder and harder to be with him, because I knew the tighter I wanted to cling, the faster I’d lose him.”
D
rew nuzzled Joe’s shoulder affectionately, aching for all the turmoil Joe had experienced. “I seriously doubt the thought would even cross his mind. Hell, I know you’d never do anything like that, and he’s known you years longer than I have. Your conscience and sense of honor wouldn’t let you.”
Joe sighed again. “Yeah.” He hesitated for a moment before turning to look back at Drew again. “And what about you? Why are you doing this? Is it just for Finn, so he doesn’t lose me?”
Drew met Joe’s gaze and held it while he debated about how to respond. He wasn’t sure Joe was ready to hear the truth—hell, he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit it aloud—but Joe needed reassurance, and Drew didn’t see the point in hiding how he felt. All three of them needed to be honest with each other or else the hurt and resentment would pile up fast.
“Maybe it started out that way,” he said at last. “But I haven’t been doing this for Finn for a while now. I’ve been doing it because you need me, and I want to help.” He drew in a deep breath and released it slowly, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “I’ve been doing it because I fell in love with you.”
Joe stared at him, his eyes growing wide with surprise. He was at a loss for words for at least a minute, and when he finally spoke, it was hesitant. “You… love me? Really? How can you, after the horrible way I’ve treated you?”
“Because I’m a sucker for an honorable man who needs me as much as you do,” Drew said, offering a wry smile. “Besides, Finn and I both knew there was something bigger going on. I figured out pretty quick not to take it personally.”
Joe was quiet again for a moment. “I don’t feel like I deserve it, but… thank you. I wish I could say the words back to you, but I can’t. Not now, at least. But I meant it when I said I cared about you, Drew. You’ve done something for me that no one else, not even Finn, ever has. It means a lot to me.”
Drew felt a twinge of disappointment that Joe didn’t return his feelings, but only a twinge, and he wasn’t surprised. Joe had pretty much hated him at first, so the fact that Joe cared about him at all now was a huge improvement.
“When we get home, Finn and I are going to work on rewiring your thinking about what you deserve,” he said, giving Joe a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay that you can’t say the words. There’s no rush. Not for that or for this,” he added, stroking Joe’s inner thigh. “I want to give you what you need, not force you to give me something you’re not ready for.”
Joe shivered at the caress and then reached back to comb his fingers through Drew’s hair. “I do need you,” he said softly. “I just had an attack of conscience, thinking about Finn. But I’m not worried about that anymore. If you want me… I’m yours.”
“Not yet,” Drew said, grinning wickedly as he wormed his hand beneath the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants. “But you will be….”
28
Finn stared intently at his TV screen, his fingers dancing over the control console as he worked through a difficult level of his new Super Mario Brothers game. Making his way past the game’s obstacles was enough of a mental challenge to help him forget his limited mobility thanks to the cast on his leg, but it didn’t wear him out. He’d learned the hard way that his stamina wasn’t up to normal levels yet postsurgery when he’d tried to make what he thought would be a quick run to the convenience store down the block. He’d hobbled on his crutches for maybe twenty or so meters beyond the entrance of his building before he realized he’d never make it to the store and back, so he’d returned to his apartment and called Herc to take him up on the offer to arrange some useful services.
He’d thought Herc would set up a grocery delivery, but instead, he now had a housekeeper and a personal chef. The housekeeper had spent the better part of a week deep cleaning his apartment, and Finn had never felt more shame for his negligent attitude toward housework than when she pointedly stared at him while carrying the second garbage bag she’d filled out of his bedroom. Now she only came three mornings per week for routine cleaning, and in the interim, Finn made more of an effort to tidy up after himself, especially since he liked how clean and organized his apartment looked.
After the first day with his housekeeper, he’d felt apprehensive about meeting his personal chef, and he was relieved when Ezra “Ghost” Levin arrived with canvas bags of groceries in hand. Ezra had gone to culinary school with the intentions of being a chef after he retired from Hercules Security, but that plan hadn’t worked out as intended, so now he headed the training facility Herc had set up outside of DC. Ezra was an excellent cook, and he made sure Finn ate well—and far more healthily than the pizza Finn routinely had delivered when he was on his own.
At first, Finn loitered around the kitchen when Ezra was in there in hopes of getting a taste of whatever Ezra was preparing, but he became so fascinated by the process that Ezra started giving him cooking lessons so he could stop relying so much on takeout.
Ezra wasn’t the only merc to visit Finn, either. Finn got calls and texts asking if he was up for visitors almost every day, and he had company whenever he wanted it. Payne was one of the regulars, which wasn’t surprising since Payne was also a medic and had strong caretaker instincts. When he needed distraction from worrying about Joe and Drew, or when he felt himself chafing against the restrictions of his recuperation process, Finn called on the mercs. They always came through.
But at night, he was left alone with his thoughts, which constantly strayed to Pakistan. He was relieved when Drew texted to let him know the mission was finished, but his relief was tempered by concern over Joe. Rather than coming straight home, Joe and Drew were staying in Pakistan for an undetermined amount of time, and while Drew was keeping him updated and it sounded like Joe was doing better, Finn was ready to see for himself. He hated not being there when Joe needed him most, and he wasn’t sure how he could ever repay Drew for helping Joe in his stead.
He finally finished the level and paused the game, debating whether he wanted to keep playing, or see if anyone was available to come over. The last time they’d talked, Drew had been evasive about when he and Joe might be returning home at last, which was disappointing and discouraging. His friends had rallied around him, but that didn’t take the place of being able to snuggle up with his lovers and reassure himself they were both okay.
Before he could make up his mind, the doorbell rang, and he grabbed his crutches, hauled himself upright, and hobbled over to answer the door.
To his surprise, Joe stood on the welcome mat, with Drew right behind him. Drew had a hand on Joe’s shoulder, as though offering support or encouragement, and Joe wore a pensive expression, as though uncertain of his welcome. He also looked paler and thinner than he had three weeks before, and there were lines beside his mouth that Finn had never seen.
“Surprise,” Joe said softly, his lips quirking up in a lopsided attempt at a smile. “We’re home.”
Instinct and emotion took over. Finn dropped his crutches and threw his arms around Joe. His throat closed up, and his eyes stung with tears as he clung to Joe, relief and joy roiling through him.
“You’re home,” he echoed, pressing his nose against Joe’s neck so he could breathe in Joe’s warm, familiar scent.
Finn felt Joe’s strong arms around him, holding him close and tight. Joe gave a shuddering sigh and then pressed his lips against Finn’s temple. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” Finn closed his eyes and leaned against Joe, grateful to have Joe in his arms safe and sound at last. “I was worried about you.”
“I was worried about you, too.” Joe’s voice was deep and ragged. “And Drew, poor bastard, was worried about both of us.”
Finn pulled back enough that he could smile at Drew, feeling torn. He wanted to embrace Drew as well, but he didn’t want to hurt Joe. From what little he’d heard over the past couple of weeks, it sounded like they had at least struck a truce, so maybe it would be okay under the circumstances.
“I missed you, too,” he said a
s he hopped over to Drew, who reached out immediately to steady him. “I’m glad you’re both home safe.”
“It’s good to be home,” Drew said, pulling him into a tight embrace. “But maybe we can continue this reunion inside? You need to sit down.”
“Definitely,” Joe agreed. He swiped away what might have been tears from his eyes, and smiled more naturally. “We’re going to have to keep an eye on him, Drew. Finn is a great medic and a lousy patient, trust me.”
Finn shot a startled look at Joe, surprised by his inclusive wording. Maybe things had gone even better between them than he thought? He didn’t want to get his hopes up too high, though, so he decided not to comment. Instead, he stuck out his tongue at Joe.
“I’ve been good,” he said. “Mostly.”
“Uh-huh.” Drew raised a dubious eyebrow as he released Finn and bent to pick up the crutches.
“Come on, you.” Joe wrapped an arm around Finn’s waist. “I’ll help you to the couch, then we can talk.”
Finn let Joe assist him while Drew followed with the crutches. He claimed the middle spot and patted the cushions on either side to make sure they both sat beside him and no one retreated to the nearby recliner chairs.
Joe sat down on the left, sighing as he relaxed back against the sofa cushions, putting one hand gently on Finn’s thigh above the cast. “How are you doing, really?” he asked, his brown eyes full of concern. “Are you having much pain? Are you getting around okay?”
Finn covered Joe’s hand with his own and offered a reassuring smile. “I’m doing good. The pain isn’t as bad as it was right after surgery, and I can get around the apartment just fine. Herc arranged for a housekeeper to come a few times per week, Ghost’s been making sure I eat healthy, and the guys have kept me company when I needed it.”
“You haven’t been pushing too hard, have you?” Drew asked as he settled in on Finn’s other side after propping the crutches against an end table.