When his eyes met Axel’s, I knew it was all over.
Two pairs of identical grey eyes stared back at the other.
“Christ,” Axel swore with emotion.
Maddox grinned his gummy smile and shoved a chubby hand into his mouth.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “He’s yours.”
Chapter 3
“How? What?”
For the first time ever, the imposing Axel Black was speechless.
As it turned out, you could get pregnant your first time. We’d even used protection. I bit my lip, revealing what I’d known from the beginning. “The condom must have broken.”
“But…” he stammered as Maddox grinned and cooed in my arms.
“It’s okay, Ax, why don’t you sit down on my bed?” I encouraged. He looked like he was about to faint. “Mad sleeps out here and I need to put him down,” I explained.
“Mad?”
I met his confused gaze. “Maddox,” I clarified quietly.
“My grandfather’s name?” he whispered hoarsely.
His grandparents were the only family he’d ever spoken fondly of. It was the one thing I’d felt I could give him.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Christ,” he repeated, running a hand over his face.
“My bed, Ax,” I repeated, with a tilt of my chin in that direction.
“Right,” he muttered.
I put Maddox down, watching as his eyelids fluttered closed.
I straightened my shoulders, bracing myself for the hurricane waiting for me in my bedroom.
“How the hell could you not tell me?” he demanded in a strangled voice. He sat on the edge of my bed, his head in his hands.
“I wanted to,” I said quietly. “I couldn’t.”
“Why the fuck not? That’s my son! I missed how many months of his life?” he demanded.
“Six,” I whispered.
“Six,” he repeated. “I missed your being pregnant. Your labor. Fuck, tell me you weren’t alone.”
“I wasn’t alone,” I answered immediately.
He shot me a look.
“The nurses were really kind,” I added with a sigh.
“What the fuck, Sophie!” he exploded.
“It’s complicated,” I tried weakly.
He narrowed his eyes at me.
“I know you’ll probably never forgive me but I did what I thought I had to. To protect you. To protect Maddox,” I explained passionately.
He stood suddenly, his size overwhelming as he stalked toward me. “You think there’s anything I would let happen to you or our child? Do you think I’d let anything hurt you?” His voice was raw with pain.
“I think there are forces bigger than you and me.” I swallowed, looking up at him. “And I think with that precious baby out there, I couldn’t risk it,” I whispered. “I did what I had to do to protect him. To protect you and my brother.” My eyes filled with tears as I tried to explain what had made me run. “But that’s all to hell now,” I added, my voice raw.
He stumbled back to the bed, sitting as though drunk. “All that time in Hawthorne you were…you were…”
“Pregnant,” I nodded. “I kept trying to tell you. But after the night we were together, you were so dodgy, so unsure.”
“So this was revenge?”
I reeled back in shock. “No! God no. I kept trying to tell you. I thought I had time to work up to it. And then...and then the threats just became too much and I knew if I stayed, I’d just screw up your whole life and Sal’s,” I shook my head. “I couldn’t allow that.”
“So you what? Disappeared on your own to go through your entire pregnancy alone? To be a single mother when you could have had me? Could have had all of us?”
His comment pissed me right the hell off.
“Would I have had you? You tell me, after that night we spent together and how you treated me afterwards, how the hell do you think I should have thought that!” I exclaimed.
“You think so little of me?” He rose from the bed, his stance tense and expression thunderous. “You think I wouldn’t take care of you and my child?”
“Lower your voice,” I hissed.
“This is so fucked up,” he groaned, raking his hand through his hair.
“Pretty much,” I agreed. “But whatever was between us – whatever the hell that even was…” I sighed and he narrowed his eyes. “That has nothing to do with why I left.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna get to that,” he declared.
I sighed, utterly spent and overwhelmed. “I know you probably hate me,” I murmured. “But Ax, I’m so tired. I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
His grey eyes swept over my face and I was sure he was taking in the dark circles under my eyes and pale complexion.
He nodded, his expression cool. “We’ll talk again in the morning.”
“Where are you staying?” I asked with a yawn.
“Here,” he answered with zero hesitation.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“You and my son are under this roof and I’m not going anywhere.” He shook his head with determination.
“There’s nowhere for you to sleep!” I protested.
He eyed the bed with a cocked brow.
“There’s nowhere for you to sleep,” I reiterated with hands on my hips.
He sighed. “There’s a perfectly good couch.”
“Mad sleeps out there,” I shook my head.
“I don’t know much about babies, but Gracie always sleeps like the dead.” He shared, speaking of Cole and Scarlet’s little girl.
“He usually does,” I allowed. “But he’s cutting a tooth.”
“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “I’ve got lots of time to make up for.”
My eyes filled with tears as I whispered hoarsely, “I didn’t do this to hurt you. I swear it.”
He gripped the back of my neck, his eyes blazing down into mine. “Yeah, I’m counting on that.”
Then he was gone and I was left standing in my bedroom, listening to him quietly move around the living room.
Despite my exhaustion, I tossed and turned, worried about what his return could mean. I knew Axel well enough that once he saw our son, he’d never let go. I just had to hope we’d both survive what was to come.
I woke up late the next morning, jolting out of bed at seeing that the clock read 8 a.m. I hurtled out of my room worried for Maddox.
I was met with two identical sets of grey eyes looking up at me when I stopped abruptly in the living room, the past evening flooding back to me.
Axel sat with Mad in his lap at the kitchen table.
“I didn’t know what he ate,” he shrugged. “But he seems to like my banana,” he added with a grin as Maddox opened up to gum another bite.
I felt my entire being soften at watching the two of them together. “Yeah, he likes bananas,” I responded, feeling a tenderness toward him that up to this point, I’d only felt for Maddox. “He just started on some solid food.”
“I made coffee.” Axel cocked his head toward the coffee pot.
“Thanks,” I murmured gratefully, dropping a brief kiss on Mad’s head before moving to fill up a cup. “Can I get you a refill?”
“No, I’m good.” He shook his head, his eyes watching me move around the small space as I made Maddox his bottle.
“Do you want to feed him?” I asked quietly, handing him the warm bottle.
“Yeah,” Axel nodded, his expression unreadable as he took the bottle and gave it to Mad.
A knock sounded at the door and I saw Axel stiffen. “It’s just Jill,” I assured him, moving to open the door. Jill stood on the other side with Mason balanced on her hip. She breezed into the room.
“Is there coffee because this little stinker was up all…” She stopped mid-sentence, her mouth hanging open when she spotted Axel.
“Jill, this is Axel. Maddox’s father,” I introduced a bit awkwardly. The words weighed heavily i
n the air. I looked over, seeing a storm of emotion pass over Axel’s face at being referred to as a dad.
“Hi,” she choked out, her eyes wide with shock.
“Hey.” He gave her a chin lift, continuing to hold the bottle for Maddox who was sucking greedily.
“Are you still bringing Mad over while you go to work?” she asked me with wide eyes.
“Yes,” I answered at the same time Axel answered, “No.”
I glared at him.
“You okay, Soph?” she asked quietly; I could tell she was worried. I’d never spoken a word about Axel to her or the fact that he was a formidable biker with tattoos and a gruff personality.
“I know there’s a lot I haven’t told you,” I responded regretfully. “But I trust him. I’m good.” I assured her.
She peered around me with a shrewd gaze. “You gonna take care of my girl here because for a twenty-five year old, she lives like an old spinster,” she huffed and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m gonna take care of both of them,” he replied, meeting her skeptical gaze.
She gave an affirmative nod. “Okay, maybe I like him.” She headed to the coffee pot after putting Mason down on the baby blanket. Mad immediately started to squirm.
“He wants to sit with his best bud,” I told Ax, taking him from his lap and setting him down next to Mason.
“So how long are you in town for?” Jill asked Axel lightly.
“As long as it takes to get her to come home with me,” he answered without hesitation.
My eyes bugged out of my head at his declaration.
“Where’s home?” Jill asked with confusion.
I winced, again feeling guilt over how little I’d told her.
“Nevada,” Axel answered for me.
I’d only spent a short time there, but it was true. Nevada felt more like home to me than New York. Texas certainly had never quite fit. But all that didn’t mean returning was a smart move.
Jill cleared her throat. “Okay then, clearly you two have some things to work out.” She shot me a wry look. “I’ll just head back over to my place and we’ll talk later?” she questioned me with a raised brow.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Let Axel and me talk. Mad might be over later,” I told her.
She nodded as Axel’s eyes narrowed. “Nice to meet you. My husband gets back this weekend. Don’t make him come kick your ass,” she warned Axel.
He chuckled, his demeanor lightening for the first time. “I’ll try.”
“She’s a good friend,” I told Axel after she’d scooped Mason up and shut the door behind her.
“Seems it,” he muttered, his eyes on Maddox.
“What’s going on here, Axel?” I blurted before I could stop myself.
“Seems like you’re going to go to work and I’m gonna watch our boy,” he stated matter-of-factly.
My eyes filled with unexpected tears. “But I’ve never left him with anyone but Jill. And you’re mad at me and…” I trailed off.
He stood, crowding my space, his face peering down into mine. “Mad doesn’t even cover it,” he countered. “I wish like hell you would have trusted me to take care of you. To protect you. I wish you hadn’t made this decision on your own that took you and my boy from me. I’ve lost a lot of time. But as mad as I am, remember that I came here for you, Soph, before I even knew about Maddox.” His voice dropped an octave as he continued. “The reasons I came back haven’t changed.”
I looked up into his earnest eyes and reluctantly nodded, biting my lip to the point of pain.
“He, um, he’ll need a nap at noon after he eats lunch,” I trailed off, looking to the side before giving him further instruction. This whole thing was so surreal. I felt so vulnerable leaving Maddox with anyone, even his daddy.
“Got it,” Axel nodded after I’d rattled off every instruction I could think of.
“Please call me if you have any questions,” I stressed. “And, Jill always knocks exactly how she did this morning. Anything else – don’t answer the door,” I said firmly, feeling mildly panicked at the thought.
He tipped my chin up. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m here. No one’s gonna get to you or Maddox,” he assured me.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“See you when you get home,” he murmured, watching my movements as I flew around the room gathering my things for my lunch shift at the restaurant.
“This is hard,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes again as I leaned down to kiss Maddox. I stood to face Axel. “I know I need to trust you. I know I robbed you of so much. But he’s all I have in the world,” I rasped, wiping my face and trying to pull myself together.
“Soph, I would never ever take him from you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said quietly, zeroing in on my true fear. “And he’s not all you have. You have me, too. You always did.”
Holy….wow. I wasn’t even sure what to do with that statement.
“Okay,” I agreed, knowing with crushing clarity that from that moment on, my life would never be the same.
Chapter 4
If a day could move any slower, they’d call it a month. Despite a busy lunch rush and texting Axel off and on all day, the day had dragged.
I rushed home just as the blistering sun was dipping in the sky, ready to hold my baby.
I heard commotion coming from my apartment as I neared the stairwell which made my feet move faster, running up the stairs and bursting through my front door in alarm.
What I found on the other side shocked me to the core.
It looked as though all the senior members of the Knights’ Motorcycle Club sat in my tiny living room with their women, though my brother and Kat were noticeably absent. Scarlet and Cole, Wes and Connie, Ettie and Mack all sat in various spots around the room.
“Oh, my God,” I breathed, my eyes shooting through the room until I spotted Mad sitting on his blanket with who must be Gracie toddling nearby.
She was walking? I couldn’t believe how much I’d missed.
“She’s walking,” I said dumbly, the door still hanging open behind me.
“Yeah,” Scarlet replied with a warm smile, standing to embrace me.
I couldn’t help it; she’d always been like a big sister to me. So comforting and accepting. I started to bawl like a baby.
“I missed you guys so much. But you shouldn’t be here!” I exclaimed through tears, worried beyond measure.
“Oh, honey, where else would we be? He’s so beautiful!” she gushed. “He and Gracie are best friends already,” she laughed, patting me soothingly.
“Where’s my brother?” I asked hoarsely.
“Here,” his deep voice surprised me from behind.
Scarlet released me, stepping back as I whirled to face Sal and Kat. They’d just arrived, bags on their shoulders.
Sal and I stared at each other for a moment before he stepped forward and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. “Don’t you ever pull this shit again, Sophie, I swear to God,” he swore at me.
“Sorry,” I rasped as I was pulled out of Sal’s embrace and into Kat’s.
“What he said,” she warned, her bark holding less bite.
I drew back against the bump I felt. “Oh, my God! Are you…?”
She nodded with a grin. “About six months along now.”
“Congrats,” I whispered.
“Thanks,” she winked, pulling back to take a good look at me.
Mad whined then, pulling my attention away as everyone looked over at him. I crossed the room, scooping him up. He wasn’t used to so many people and his eyes were larger than normal as he looked around the room.
The room grew unnervingly quiet as my brother stared at my little boy. His dark eyes swept to me then to Axel, then back again.
“What. The. Fuck,” he seethed, glaring at Axel with such hostility I worried they’d come to blows at any second.
Axel’s countenance remained calm as he met my brother’s anger head on. Then his grey eyes moved t
o me. “I didn’t tell him,” he explained, stating the obvious as he moved to scoop Mad out of my arms with an ease I was shocked by. It seemed they’d had a good day.
“When were you two…? How? What the fuck?” Sal barked again in distress. If not for the circumstances, I might have laughed.
“When you went to New York for your grandfather’s funeral,” Axel spoke up and I was glad he did because I was certainly in no hurry to. “I followed you, had your back even though you didn’t know it. After you left, Soph and I well…we… This isn’t your business,” he growled with impatience. “The short version is we met, had a thing. I fucked it up but it resulted in this guy.” He cocked his head down toward Maddox who was drooling like a champ.
“So that whole time she was in Hawthorne you’d already known her. Did you know she was pregnant?” Sal demanded, his eyes wide and shining with confusion and anger.
“Hell, no!” Axel shook his head. “You think had I known that I would have acted like such a jackass? That I would have let her out of my sight? No, I’m guessing your fucked-up parents did something. We haven’t gotten into those details, but something made her scared enough to run,” he said with halted speech, his emotion such that I moved to take Maddox from him.
Sal’s dark gaze swung to mine, leveling me with the pain I saw reflected there. “How could you not have told me?”
“I had every intention to,” I rasped, watching him with wide eyes, guilt and apprehension rolling off me in waves. “I ran out of time.”
“All right, let’s lighten this shit up. Jesus,” Wes broke in, coming to give me a one-armed hug. “Who brought the beer?”
“Uh, what exactly is everyone doing here?” I asked hesitantly. “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you but…”
“We figured if you didn’t feel safe coming home, we’d bring home to you,” Connie grinned, moving in to hug me. “Axel got a head start as soon as Henry told Cole he’d seen you. But we were right behind him.”
So it had been Henry. I figured as much.
“But, I…I don’t know what to say,” I stammered lamely, overwhelmed with how much trouble they’d gone to, with how good they were to me.
“Say you’ll finally open up. Say you’ll trust us,” she pleaded with quiet intensity.
Axel (Ride Series Book 3) Page 3