by P. Stormcrow
“Luna?” Jacob released her hand and brushed her hair back. When she refocused on his face, he smiled, tenderness softening his features. “There you are.”
“Hello,” she murmured, still not quite present.
His soft laughter melted her insides in a different way. “Stay here. Let me go clean up. I’ll be back in a sec.”
When he withdrew from her, they each let out a long moan. Luna’s gaze followed him to the washroom before she closed her eyes. This was nothing like the sex she’d ever had before. Was the power exchange the reason? Whatever it was, equal parts of fear and desire mingled in confusion. She wanted him more than anyone she’d ever wanted and the intensity of that emotion scared the shit out of her. But in her sleepiness, she pushed the doubts away, unwilling to ruin the afterglow.
“Luna?”
She snapped her eyes open as he returned.
“Open your legs, little one.”
She did so, not sure when or how she’d even had the strength to close them. A sigh escaped her lips as he pressed a warm, damp washcloth against her mound and she relaxed at his gentle cleaning.
“You okay?”
A small smile spread across her face and she nodded. “Mm-hm-m.”
“Good.” He crawled back to bed and scooped her up once more into his arms. When she shifted to lay her head on his shoulder, it felt natural. And when he started tracing random patterns across her shoulder and along her arm, she relaxed enough to succumb to slumber once more.
“Luna, come on, little one. We can’t stay in bed all day.”
She groaned and buried herself closer against the body of warmth that surrounded her. “Can too,” she mumbled.
“What if I said I can make you French toast?”
Bribery. Not fair. She cracked her eyes open to see Jacob grinning down at her. It was the sexiest morning grin ever, and her heart skipped a beat.
“Good morning—or afternoon.”
She smiled and ducked her head a little. Despite their mutual nakedness, a sudden shyness overtook her.
“Hey, where’s my sexy minx from last night?”
She only flushed deeper at that.
“Hmm-m, do I have to coax it out of her again?” He dipped a finger below her waist
“Again?” she squeaked. Why did she keep squeaking around him?
He hovered his finger over her pelvis, teasing her, and she groaned. “You’re insatiable.”
He laughed then and kissed her. “Maybe. Definitely, when it comes to you.”
His comment made her forget all her doubts earlier. Instead, she returned the kiss, nipping at his lower lip. “Are you sure you still want me? I don’t go where I’m not wanted, you know.”
Luna had meant it to tease, so the last thing she expected was the growl that rumbled in his chest, right before she found herself flipped over onto her stomach.
“Doubts about my intentions when I’ve made myself clear also get you punished,” he whispered in her ear as his weight pressed down on her once more, though there was a lightness in his voice, showing more playfulness than actual anger. As if to emphasize his actual mood, he gave her ear a light nip.
He massaged one ass cheek then placed the flat of his palm against it and she stiffened with a different kind of tension. As if sensing her sudden nervousness, Jacob returned to kneading. “Luna, talk to me.”
She had been spanked by things—but never bare-handed. It had never been pleasant, if she had to admit it to herself, but she also trusted Jacob to make her feel good. He made her feel better than any man ever had.
“Yellow,” she breathed out.
“Are you sure you want to continue?” He stilled his movements.
Luna checked herself. She was curious. Jacob’s hand was warm and felt pleasant against her skin. It was no cold, cruel tool. And she trusted him to stop if she needed him to. His earlier reassurances rang in her head. What would it be like to be at his mercy? “Yeah.”
“I’ll go slow,” he confirmed and kissed her shoulder.
She nodded and willed her body to relax underneath him. It was easier than she expected as he continued to rub and knead. “All right, sweetheart. Just five. Ready?”
She exhaled and nodded once more.
The first one stung, but no more than if she’d landed wrong in the dojo. It was pain that she was familiar with, even felt good about sometimes, like an exercise burn. A yelp and an accompanying shiver turned into a moan as he rubbed the spot where he’d slapped, smoothing away the sensation.
Another one. She gasped and, only half aware, she spread her legs a little more. Her ass burned pleasantly, and she wiggled it at him. Again, he took his time, rubbing away at the spot for a good while before proceeding.
The third one was more of a thud, a different sensation on another spot that had her growing wet. Very little of what was happening made sense to her but, then again, she didn’t bother trying to understand for now. Instead, she reveled at the way he would always soothe the pain after, while the hurt itself never rose beyond what she couldn’t handle. By the time the fifth spank came, she was making soft mewling sounds that she didn’t quite recognize, full of want for him.
“Now, in case there were any more doubts in your mind…” He trailed off as he shifted to rub his length between her legs once more.
In the end, they didn’t get to the French toast until dinner time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Luna cupped a glass of cold tea in her hand and sat slumped in the chair, staring at nothing in particular, wearing what she knew had to be a rather silly grin. It had been that way since Jacob had left her place Sunday night and she had been having a hard time concentrating at work, every little thing reminding her of something Jacob had said or done. She almost hadn’t even noticed Ted’s teasing over lunch—and that was saying something.
Her eyes snapped back to focus when August pulled out the chair opposite her and eased himself into it. When she saw the same silly grin on his face, her own spread even wider.
“So…Lani,” she started.
“So…Jacob.”
They stared at each other then burst out laughing. August seemed more relaxed than ever, losing some of that seriousness that made him look older than he was. Her heart soared for her friend.
“You first,” Luna urged, reaching for her mango iced tea, more as an excuse to not talk, and she hoped he would take the bait.
“Well, without going into all the details…”
He heaved a sigh when she pouted at him. The whole point was details! Or perhaps she’d just been around Ted too much.
“Fine. We played. And that’s all the detail you get.” Adjusting his glasses, he held his own tea up, inhaling the scent before taking a long sip. “A gentleman does not kiss and tell.”
The pout remained on Luna’s face and she bit back her words, hoping silence would encourage him to say more. She doubted she would have any more success with Lani.
August sighed and set his drink down. “Fine.” His voice lowered. “Lani’s drawing up a longer-term contract.”
Now it took Luna all her effort to not squeal out loud and draw unwanted attention to them. She bit her lower lip instead and grinned until August looked away, blushing, “I’m unsure why you’re making such a big deal out of this,” he mumbled into his tea.
“Are you kidding me?” Luna wasn’t sure if he was trying to downplay it or if he was being serious. “This is huge. You’ve wanted this for a while, right? You and Lani are going to be a thing!” Babbling on, it took Luna a moment before she realized she was making August uncomfortable, so she cut herself off, taking a small breath to curb her enthusiasm. “I’m just really happy for you two.”
“Thank you,” August replied, and she glimpsed his eyes softening. It was the sweetest thing she’d ever witnessed from a guy.
Her phone buzzed, interrupting their moment. Her breath hitched. Was it him? She hadn’t heard from Jacob all day but he had warned that work was going to
be ridiculously busy.
Hey, sweetheart, just finally got off work. How was your day?
There was that silly grin again as she typed a response.
Good, out having tea with August. Are you heading home to rest?
Actually, can I swing by later? I left my watch at your place.
Smooth. Real smooth. The pitter patter of her heart sped up.
Sure.
Was he really coming over to pick up the watch? Or was he staying the night? How should she ask?
Great. Do you need a pick-up from the cafe?
I’m okay. Home’s not far.
K. Text me when you’re home. Say hi to August for me.
She hadn’t asked, but that didn’t stop her from hoping in secret. Her body thrummed with excitement and she had to swallow a few times to calm her racing heart. When she looked up, she saw August with a brow raised and sank a little in her chair. “Um…Jacob says hi.”
Luna thought August was above smirking but she was finding out that he was indeed not. Muttering something about ‘a smug bastard’ under her breath, she sank even lower in her seat.
“It’s your turn,” August stated.
Turnabout’s fair play but Luna still couldn’t help the deepening heat across her cheeks. “We played,” she mumbled beneath her breath, so much that August had to lean forward to catch her words. “It was…different.”
“Different?”
She spoke with a thoughtful slowness. Forced to put words to her feelings for the first time, she chewed over each with care as her brain struggled to process the churn of emotions inside. “It was good. Sex has never been that good before. In some ways, I guess that’s why I’ve always fixated on food. It’s always been a substitute.”
August nodded, folding his arms over the table. “You seem hesitant, though.”
“I’m worried.” The two words took a lot to admit. “I don’t understand why this is such a turn-on.”
“You’re just starting to explore as a submissive. It’s okay to not know all your own kinks yet.”
“Losing control like that scares me.” That was the easiest part to admit. Who wouldn’t fear giving someone else that much power over them, in particular when that person could make them feel things they’d never felt before?
“It’s balanced by trust.” The answer came swift enough. “It’s important to not give just any Dom that much power over you. You have to trust her or him first. That’s why it’s so important to pick the right partner. For example, having a good partner to help you explore your limits and kinks is a part of it. They have to be someone you trust enough with your own safety.”
Trust made sense. She could understand that. There were people she trusted already in her life, so it wasn’t that far to make that leap to the bedroom. Yet… “What would they get out of it?” That was bugging her too. Jacob had been so giving that previous weekend, so generous as a lover that she felt as though she had given him nothing in return.
“I don’t pretend to understand a Dominant’s mindset,” August ventured with less certainty in his tone. “But perhaps it’s less about what he’s getting out of it and more about what you want to put in. Have you figured out why you want to submit and how far you want to go?”
Luna pushed herself up, sitting straight in her chair once more as she grew aware that their conversation had shifted from teasing to serious.
“I want to be like you.”
August stared at her, mouth agape, and Luna couldn’t help but return his reaction with a sheepish smile. “I saw what you were like all day with Lani at the party. I… If I was to submit, I want to serve someone that same way, to take care of them.” Luna took a deeper breath, the words now coming in a rush. “The thought of putting their needs above mine, knowing they would do the same for me? It just seems right to me. I want to trust someone enough to give them power over me, but I never want to be the type that just passively receives it. I have agency and I want to use it to make them happy.” She ducked her head and looked to one side. “Sorry… I must sound like an incurable romantic—or a huge idiot.”
Silence. When Luna found the courage to venture a peek at August, she was startled to find him smiling at her. “If it makes you feel any better”—he gave a slight nod—“if I believed having a philosophy like that makes someone an idiot, then there are two idiots at this table.”
“Oh.” Her beliefs were her own, but somehow acknowledging them out loud and having someone she respected so much agree with them relaxed her. It was as if the final piece of a puzzle had snapped into place and though she was aware that she was only beginning her journey, at least now there was a foundation to build on. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They sat in companionable silence for a little while longer until Luna felt ready to tackle her next question.
“I’m still worried about whether I’m good enough to serve, though.”
“Why?” August watched her, and maybe it was something in his eyes—or perhaps it was the gentleness in his voice, but every defense Luna had ever built broke down at his single-worded question.
“I thought I knew everything when I first started out. I had a Master online once. He was so sweet, so charming. I was head over heels. But when we met in real life, I tried so hard to please him.” Her hands began to shake, and she had to clasp them together. “It didn’t work out, and he left, just ghosted. How…” A tear rolled down her cheek, and she rubbed it away. “I can’t even hold down a vanilla relationship, so how can I be sure I’m good enough to serve? The wobble in her voice was getting worse.
“Luna.” Warm hands grasped hers. “Luna, look at me.”
Fear coursed through her but she forced her gaze up, anyway.
“Luna, we all start somewhere, and any Dominant would be damn lucky to have you.” It was rare for August to swear and she heard anger in his voice but didn’t understand why. “Whoever was your Master must have been a piss-poor one if he didn’t even stay to explain why he left, leaving you guessing like that. Please don’t use him as a standard to measure yourself.” August’s hands were trembling as he inhaled to calm himself. “Okay? Promise me. Promise me you will not let your past hold you back.”
Although she was still shaky as she nodded, August relaxed a little, enough that he let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair.
“You’re angry.” She feared she might cry again, but his anger jolted her from her own downward spiral.
“I am. I despise Doms who do that to ruin subs before they even have a chance to understand themselves. It’s why those of us who have been around for a while become so protective over any new subs. We’ve all seen what a bad Dom can do. We’re lucky you didn’t just turn your back on the whole lifestyle.”
Oh. Luna wasn’t sure if she agreed with his sentiment about her past Dom, but August seemed adamant—and she lacked the energy to argue. She nodded with some reluctance, at least to show she was following his words.
“Besides, if Jacob’s the one you choose, he’s not like that. He’s one of the good ones, and the subs he trains in the three years he has them all matched with good Dominants afterward. I can vouch for that.”
It wasn’t the first time someone had told her about Jacob as a trainer. Perhaps three years wasn’t a bad thing. A time limit could let her see where things could go with no need to worry about further commitment. And who knew what would happen in that time? Luna blinked then shook her head. It was rather presumptuous to anticipate that he would offer her a contract at all. It was also early. Way too early.
“If you’re thinking about it, talk to Jacob.”
“I’ll think about it.” It was all she could commit to at the moment, overwhelmed still both by her confession and by August’s near-visceral reaction. Her mouth dry as a desert, she took the glass and downed the last of her tea, letting the sweetness soothe her agitation.
“Luna, thank you for telling me.”
“You’re welcome.
” She paused then sighed, recovering enough now with her head clearing. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone. I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t want them to see me differently.”
She could see the protest in his eyes but he nodded. “I promise. I won’t break your trust.” He paused, hesitating for a moment. “But if I may suggest, go see Lani about it. As a counselor, she can help you sort through some of that.”
She wasn’t ready for that yet, for sure. All Luna wanted was to move forward, not dwell on her past. “Maybe…when I’m ready.”
“Okay.”
“I should get going. Jacob needs to come over and pick up something.”
“Of course.”
They both rose from the table at the same time. It wasn’t until they were stepping outside that Luna realized what it looked like. That would not do. “Hey, August.”
“Yes, Luna?”
She didn’t wait for permission but stepped up to wrap her arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you for everything—or being a friend and a mentor to me, for believing in me.”
As she felt the tension melt from his body, Luna surmised that it had been the right move, the right words to say. And she’d meant every one of them.
“Always, Luna. I will always be in your corner.”
“Ditto.”
They grinned at each other for a moment before, with much lighter hearts, they parted ways.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Jacob, hi. Come on in.” Luna was breathless when she opened the door wide to welcome him, and it made him wonder what she was up to until he noticed her damp hair and a hint of lace peeking above the deep V of her tank top. Coupled with her jean shorts that showed off her long legs, it took a minute for him to gather his thoughts. Did she rush home to shower and dress up for me?
“Thanks. How’s August?” He stepped into her home. A good part of him wanted to press her against the door and have his way with her. But that wasn’t what he was there for. His watch, yes. There was that. There was also a burning need in him to make sure she was okay on an emotional level, that perhaps she’d enjoyed him enough to invite him back into her bed. Because, despite him being the Dominant, the submissive held all the power in this matter.