When I turned to walk out of the room, I noticed that Dillon’s laptop was lying on the floor next to his side of the bed. Instead of having to walk downstairs, I decided to just use his computer right there in bed.
After putting in his “secret code,” code, which just consists of the two of our names together, the laptop came to life. It took a minute for my mind to register what was on the screen in front of me, but once I figured it out, the computer slipped from my hands and fell onto the mattress.
He’s been looking at porn. Fucking porn! I’m not a prude by any means, but I haven’t been getting any attention in the bedroom, and I felt like I’d just discovered the reason why. He’d rather look at porn than have sex with his wife. That made me feel so shitty about myself and had me questioning what I was doing wrong.
I took a deep breath and composed myself before picking the laptop up off the mattress. I wanted to see what was taking my place. I needed to see what kind of porn was so important that he’d rather jerk off watching it than having sex with me.
The name of the website was “Real Cheating Wives, ” and it seemed to revolve around videos where the wife is cheating on her husband.
I wondered what kind of sick thrill he was getting out of that. Earlier that day he was giving me shit about the fact that I was doing my hair and makeup for work and then he was watching videos where the wife was cheating. Did he think I got this job to find men to cheat on him with? Was that something that turned him on in some sick way?
What was I supposed to do? I wanted to wake him up and ask him what his problem was. I wanted to know why he was looking at that kind of thing when I was right there whenever he wanted. What was he getting out of the porn that he wasn’t getting with me? I really wanted to do that, but I didn’t. I needed to sleep on it so I could figure out the best way to handle it.
I did want to know exactly what he was watching so I muted the volume and pressed play on the video had up. There was one thing that immediately jumped out at me. The cheating wife in the video looked exactly like me.
6
Dillon
Panic instantly started to set in as I looked over at the nightstand and saw that the clock read 6:44 am. I had appointment starting at 8:00 that morning and intended to be up at 5:30.
Unfortunately, I’d fallen asleep while waiting for Kayla to come home and didn’t get a chance to set my alarm. I stretched and rolled over only to find that she wasn't in bed with me. Sometimes she had trouble sleeping so I didn’t think anything of it and figured I’d find her in the kitchen drinking coffee.
I grabbed a fast shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed in record time, leaving me about twenty minutes about twenty minutes before I had to leave the house. I planned to use that time to see how Kayla’s first day at work had been, but when I walked into the kitchen, she wasn’t there.
Wondering where she could be, I looked around the house and found her sleeping on the couch wrapped in one of the blankets we usually reserve for guests. At first, I thought that she might have fallen asleep reading or watching television, but the tv was off, and there wasn’t a book to be found.
Surely she couldn’t be that upset about the fight we had, could she? Sure, we’ve had our fair share of fights and arguments over the years, but never one that’s been so bad that one of us slept on the couch.
“Kayla?” I whispered into her ear, nudging her gently from her sleep. “Kayla, wake up.”
“Huh? What? What time is it?”
“It’s about 7:20. How come you’re sleeping out here?”
“I don’t know. I was just lying here thinking, and I guess I fell asleep.”
She wasn’t fooling me. I knew she was lying. If she ever wants to relax on the couch, she has a throw blanket that she always grabs. She had to go down to the basement closet to get the guest blanket she was using.
“Thanks for the lasagna last night. It was delicious.”
“Yeah, I saw the note you left,” she replied coldly. The way she said it made me very uneasy. I guess the fight was worse in her mind than it was in mine.
“How was your first night at work?” I asked, trying to sound as genuine as possible.
“Dillon, you don't have to feign an interest. You can save your breath.”
“I’m not feigning any interest, Kayla. I’d really like to know.”
“It was fine.”
“Look, I’m really sorry about everything I said yesterday. I didn’t mean for things to blow up like they did. I never imagined it would have you sleeping on the couch.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m sleeping on the couch,” she scoffed with just a hint of a laugh in her voice.
“If that’s not the problem, then what is it?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have to get to work?”
“Yes, but not until you tell me what’s on your mind. What did I do?”
“What did you do? I don’t know, Dillon. Why don’t you tell me what you did?”
I searched my brain for anything that could have pissed her off this much. I put my dinner dishes in the dishwasher and put the lasagna back in the fridge. I had no idea what I could have done to make her so angry with me.
“I have no idea. I really can’t think of anything.”
“Okay, then there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Fine, I don’t have time for this. Whatever it is you’re mad about, I guess we can discuss it later.”
I turned to grab my things and was almost to the door that separates the house from the garage when she spoke up.
“I used your laptop last night.”
My breath caught, and my heart felt like it stopped beating inside my chest. She didn’t have to say anything else because I already knew what she meant. I just had to figure out how to downplay it.
“Kayla, you shouldn’t get mad about seeing porn on my laptop. All men look at porn.”
“Yeah? Even men who are always so tired that they usually have no interest in doing things with their wife?”
“It isn’t like that at all.”
“Then what is it like? It seems to me that my schedule works out perfect for you. You can lay in our bed and jerk off all you want. No nagging wife to worry about then, huh?”
“You’re making this seem way worse than it is.”
“Am I, though? I don’t think I am. It’s not even so much the fact that you were looking at porn that bothers me. I could not possibly care less. If you think I never look at porn, you’re nuts. I’m more bothered by the fact that you’re watching porn about wives who cheat on their husbands.”
“Oh, that’s what you’re upset about? It just happened to be the video I clicked on. They aren’t all like that.”
“Dillon, you know me well enough to know that I’m not stupid. I didn’t just look at what video you had up. The whole damn website was about cheating wives. I can’t believe you would be looking at that, especially after all the shit you gave me yesterday about getting all made up to go to work. Is that what you think I’m doing? Do you think I took this job to cheat on you?”
“No Kayla, it’s not like that at all. I just like some of the storylines in the videos on that site.”
“Okay, explain one thing to me then. Why did the girl in the video you were watching when you closed your laptop look exactly like me.”
Fuck, I was busted. I knew she paid attention to every little detail about everything, but I was really hoping that she wouldn’t put that together. If I was ever going to come clean, it was right then.
“All right, listen. I don’t think you took your job to cheat on me and I don’t believe that you would cheat on me anyway, there’s just this fantasy I’ve always had since we got married, but I’ve never wanted to bring it up to you.”
“Dillon, you’re supposed to be my best friend. You’ve always told me that there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. We’ve done plenty of experimenting in the bedroom so I don’t know why you’d be worri
ed about me knowing a fantasy. Those are supposed to be fun.”
“This one is a little different, and I’m honestly not sure how you’d react to it, especially seeing how you’re responding right now to the fact that I was looking at porn.”
“Just tell me. I won’t judge.”
“Okay, I have this fantasy. It’s not a cheating fantasy at all because I’d never want you to actually cheat on me, but I’ve always had a fantasy of watching you with another man.”
7
Kayla
Did I just hear him correctly? Did Dillon just tell me that he’s always had a fantasy of watching me be with another man?
“You want to watch me with another man? What does that mean exactly?” I asked, sure that I must have heard incorrectly.
“It’s just a fantasy, Kayla. We don’t have to make such a big deal out of it.”
“We’ve both had lots of fantasies, though, and we’ve had no problem acting on them. How long has this been in your head?”
“Always.”
“Always? So you’ve always wanted me to fuck somebody else?”
“Yes. No. Well, not exactly. It’s not quite that easy.”
“What do you mean it’s not that easy? Do you or do you not have a fantasy of wanting to watch me fuck someone else? That’s what you said, and that’s what the website you were looking at was showing.”
“It’s a fantasy, Kayla. I think you’re incredibly sexy and would love to see you being pleasured from the outside. It’s something I never get to see.”
“Bullshit. We’ve made plenty of tapes together. You can watch those if you want to see me pleasured.”
“I’ve watched those tapes so many times. That’s what got this fantasy going. I just would like to see it live. That’s all.”
“I can’t believe this. Don’t you have to be getting to work?”
“Yeah, but I can push my appointments back a bit so we can talk.”
“No, don’t. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, at least not right now. I’ll be at work when you get home so why don’t we just talk about this tomorrow?”
“Okay, if that’s what you want. This isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.”
“Please don’t tell me how to feel. Get to work, and we’ll talk about tomorrow.”
“All right, I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you,” he said as he walked over to kiss me.
“Love you too,” I replied, turning my head, so his kiss hit my cheek instead of my lips.
I stood there while he gathered his things and walked out the door before crumbling down onto the couch. My heart was racing, and I could feel a tension headache forming behind my eyes.
None of what he was saying made any sense. How did he get so jealous the day before and then come home and watch porn about me cheating on him? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself comprehend it.
I needed someone to talk to about this, but I didn’t want to speak to any of our immediate mutual friends. I was sure that he wouldn’t want anyone in our inner circle to know about this fantasy.
Grabbing my cell phone off the coffee table, I scrolled through my contacts list when I came across the perfect name for the situation.
Meghann was my old college roommate, and she was a bit of a wild child back in the day. I had no idea how much had changed, but last I heard, she’d gotten married and had a couple of kids. We kept in touch on Facebook but hadn’t talked on the phone for quite some time. I dialed the number and hoped she’d be available to talk.
“Hello?” she answered, sounding as though I was waking her.
“Hey Meghann, this is Kayla.”
“Kayla? Kayla Baker?”
“Yeah, it’s me. How are ya?”
“I’m doing really well. How are you?”
“I’ve been better. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Of course. What’s going on?”
“Well, I got a new job and started yesterday. When I got home last night, I jumped on my husband’s computer to fill out some forms and saw that he'd be looking at porn.”
“Porn? No, not that,” she sarcastically said with a giggle. “You know everyone looks at porn, right?”
“Yes, I know that. It’s not the fact that he was looking at porn that has me concerned. It’s the type of porn he was looking at.”
“Oh, you found out he’s into some weird shit, huh? Was it midgets? I bet it was midgets. Fuck!”
“No, it wasn’t midgets. It was cheating wife porn.”
“Cheating wife porn? That’s it? That’s disappointing.”
“What? Disappointing?”
“I’m kidding, but I still don’t see what the big deal is.”
“The big deal is that before I left work, my husband gave me a bunch of shit about the fact that I was doing my hair and makeup to go work around a bunch of men.”
“Was he right?”
“Was he right? No. Well, not really. I got a job in a factory, and most of the people who work there are men, but that’s not why I was doing it.”
“Is there a reason he would think that’s why you were doing it?”
“He says it’s because I never do my hair and makeup for him anymore.”
“Was he exaggerating or is there any truth to that?”
“Honestly? He was right, but I was just doing it to look presentable on my first night. I didn’t have an ulterior motive.”
“You know that, but to him, seeing you get made up for other people and not for him probably hurt his ego. You know how men are.”
“Oh, believe me, I know. The thing was, it’s not just the porn. It’s what he told me after I confronted him about it.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He told me that his biggest fantasy is to watch me sleep with another man.”
“Wow, sounds like you’re a lucky girl?”
“Lucky? He got jealous about me doing hair and makeup to go to work but then tells me he wants to watch someone else have sex with me. Have you ever heard of such a thing?”
“Of course, I’m very familiar with it actually. There’s even a name for it.”
“Yeah, it’s called crazy.”
“No,” Meghann laughed. “There is actually a couple of different names for what you’re describing. It could either be called hotwife or cuckold, depending on what the rules are.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, a hotwife situation is when the wife and husband agree to what the rules and limits are. The husband usually has a big say as far as who and when. He also has full veto power. The men in these relationships are referred to as stags, and even though they’re sharing their wife, which is known as a vixen, they’re still ultimately the alpha in her life and should always be treated with respect.”
“Okay, what about the other one?”
“As far as that goes, he would be the cuckold, and you would be the cuckoldress. Cuckolds usually have no say in what the wife does and is often degraded during the sex acts. Some women even put them in a chastity cage and don’t allow them any sort of sexual satisfaction.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s what Dillon has in mind.”
“The whole cuckold thing isn’t nearly as common as hotwife.”
“I’ve never heard of either of these things. How do you know so much about it?”
“Oh honey, my husband and I have been living the hotwife lifestyle for years now. It’s a lot of fun getting to experience new partners, but the best part is the reclaiming.”
“Reclaiming? What does that mean?”
“Reclaiming is amazing. After I’ve been with someone else, my husband basically attacks me and ravages me. It brings out some kind of animalistic tendencies in him, and he has to show me that I belong to him. It’s literally the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”
“How long did your husband keep his fantasies a secret from you?”
“He didn’t as far as I know. He just came up to me on
e day and said we should try it. It’s actually kind of strange that your husband didn’t just tell you what he wanted. Most men who have this fantasy are eager to tell their spouse about it.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
“Is something wrong?”
“I have a sickening feeling that there’s more to this than what he’s telling me.”
8
Dillon
My day at the practice seemed to drag on and on. I had trouble concentrating on the needs of my patients because my mind was stuck on the conversation with Kayla that morning.
All day long, I made sure to tell my medical assistants how much I appreciated them because they played a big part in keeping things together. I never lost my professionalism, though. When speaking to a patient, I made sure that my attention was completely on them. If there ever came a time that I couldn’t focus, at least when a patient was in front of me, I’d reschedule their appointment before giving them less than stellar care.
Still, I counted down the hours until my last appointment had come and gone. My last patient was still at the front desk scheduling his next appointment as I was slipping out the back door and heading for home.
Once again, the house was eerily quiet when I returned home; the silence is more pronounced than it had on the previous day. Inside the fridge, there was no dinner waiting for me like there had been the day before. There were also no notes left behind for me to read. The differences that 24 hours made were like night and day.
I made a sandwich and picked at it for a while before deciding that I just wasn’t very hungry. My stomach was tied in knots, and although I knew I needed to eat something, I couldn’t make myself choke anything down. Anything, that is, except for a cold bottle of beer. I grabbed one of those out of the fridge and savored the taste. It went down smooth. Before the night was over, I’d go through plenty more than just that one bottle.
Twisted Steel (A Sinners Syndicate MC Novel) Page 23