How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You

by Scarlett Kennedy

  -Possible release all control. Or, obtain a substantial amount of power.

  Idealized self:

  They're perverse, wild, aggressive, and rebellious. See which ones fit their tastes.

  Possible Psychological Causes:

  Much of our desires, or true selves are repressed. We live in a society that devalues expression of our desires, so we bury these desires.

  Deep down inside, behind the nice person is someone who has a dark side. They're the ones who want to be assertive, aggressive, rebellious, and wild. They have some dark "shameful" desires. Usually what you see on the outside, is just the opposite of what you see on the outside. It's just a front. Nice people are sick and fed up with being the "nice guy." They're tired of the nice label. They want to prove just how not nice they can be. This is because being nice is associated weakness.

  How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:

  All you have to do is discover what wicked desires are lingering within, and enable it to come out.

  Show you are capable of these dark desires as well. By having a wicked side. Whatever their preferences are. They'll feel comfortable, and these desires will slowly come out.

  Matching archetype:

  The corrupt, daring, cocky personality.

  What to avoid:

  Constantly telling them how nice they are.

  Don't fully assume the "dark character." Because they'll live through you. What they want is for THEIR dark side to come out.

  How you can tell they're the pushovers:

  -They seem innocent.

  -They're endlessly doing favors for people.

  -They do not refuse.

  -People put them aside. (People have less respect for people who are too nice.)

  -People usually go to them when they need something. Whether it is to talk, get a favor, etc.

  -They'll always put smiley faces in conversations, when not necessary.

  -People pleasers.

  An example:

  I sat at the local Starbucks with my mom. There sat a man in front of us, eyes shining like the bright sun, with a huge smile on his face, staring right at my mother. Not only did his creepiness catch my attention, but also he was an exact replica of Peter Griffin. Which made things much more creepier. For legal purposes, we will call him Mr.Griffen. We sat there awkwardly with his eyes burned onto my mother, until he asked us what our ethnicities were. He proceeded to brag about how we was an engineer working at a top tier firm. He also went on to brag about how much of a nice guy he was. Things like the noble things he does for people, without any expectations. He gave out all his cards way too quickly.

  Further into the relationship, he was drawn to my dark personality. My dark sense of humor, the dangerous activities I took part in, and how dangerously I lived. Simultaneously, he despised that he couldn't control this side of me. He was in denial about his "fantastic" marriage. He wanted to cheat, and I gave him multiple opportunities by "joking" we should go to clubs and find him a lady. He didn't even hesitate. Eventually, his dark side did come out. He was much more aggressive, showed his wild side, and drove more aggressively (which I enjoyed). Everything about him became dark. This was the side that was dying to come out. However, he felt he could only let out this dark side with me.

  This is good, because if you're the only person that can provoke their darkest suppressed side, they'll become emotionally dependent on you. Just like a drug fulfills an addict's needs.

  TARGET TYPE: the “tough” one.

  Description:

  The tough one is the person who comes off as cold, and tough. No reactions, or emotions.

  What is missing in their lives:

  Vulnerability, emotion. Emotional liberation.

  Their motivations: to protect themselves, by being tough and indifferent. If you don't care, you can't get hurt. This is the motivation.

  Deepest darkest desires/ Potential suppressed parts of themselves:

  -To show emotion.

  -To be a mess, to let down their walls.

  -Their vulnerable side. Parts of them want someone to penetrate their high walls.

  Idealized self:

  They're mentally and emotionally liberated.

  How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:

  Work on them slowly.

  Make them feel like they are tough. Concurrently, slowly bring out their emotions. Make them feel emotional. You'll see what they feel emotional about when they react to something, and they nearly appear like they're going to be happy. Then, abruptly return to being cold.

  Matching archetype:

  Play the innocent, playful fun person, with no baggage. This could be their idealized self, appeal to this.

  Possible psychological causes:

  -They think it's cool.

  -They wish they were tough, but deep down inside they are as soft as cream pie, if they're cold and tough, no one could hurt them.

  -They’ve been through so much, they're expecting bullshit. So, they put up that exterior. If this is the case, play innocent.

  -They’re bored with their lives, or bored with their physical existence.

  -They were conditioned to be believed being tough, means being strong. Especially with males.

  How to get them to hate you:

  Try to force a connection. Tell them you know exactly how they are. And, that they're not fooling you. Invade their mental privacy by "psychoanalyzing" them. Telling them who they are, among other examples.

  How you can tell:

  They seem cold all the time.

  They seem indifferent.

  No enthusiasm. Even though, deep down they do.

  An example:

  My friend Dan was a perfect example of the tough one. He was cold, and tough. Every time we went out, he always wanted to go to the artistic district of our neighborhood. One day during dinner, a lady was reading poetry in the restaurant. His eyes lit up. It was like being stuck in a dark room and finally finding the light switch. That was Dan. I found out he had some roots in poetry. His mother had read poetry to him, before she passed away. This was a part of his childhood. I slowly brought out the poet in him. Two months go by, and his tough exterior melts. He expresses his wild uncontrollable emotions. Around me, at least. As for everyone else, he's still the same. I'm just the exception.

  target type: the child

  Description:

  This is distinct from the innocent target. This is the person who wants to preserve being like a child, pampered and treated like one. The difference between the innocent target and the child is that the innocent ones want to breakaway from their innocence. While the child wants to remain innocent, and in a childhood state.

  How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:

  Play the mother or father. Be authoritative. Be the one who grounds them, and guides them. Scold them, but not to the point where you are giving them a lecture. They still want to feel free. But, the child still wants to feel like the other person is a parent. Have characteristics of a parent. Take care and nurture them, come to their rescue.

  What is missing in their lives:

  Someone to parent and nurture them.

  Their motivations:

  To avoid becoming an adult. This could be denial, acting out, avoiding adult like responsibilities.

  Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:

  The child in them is suppressed. The child that wants to be given the attention like a child receives.

  Idealized selves:

  Their idealized selves would stay as a child in an adult body. Avoiding all responsibilities, and indulging in playful pleasures. This could mean watching TV. All day, playing sports, playing games, you name it.

  What to avoid:

  Being the other child. They want to be the only child. (The innocent playful archetype.) They don't want competition, because they want all the attention of the parent. Which you would play.<
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  Possible Psychological Causes:

  -Their parents paid too much attention to them, and spoiled them.

  -Their parents paid no attention to them at all. So, growing up in their adult lives, they seek out someone to play the parent they never had.

  -Their present lives aren't going as desired, as a result, their mind wanders back to a time when things were good. Their childhood. And, to specifically find someone who made their childhood even better: their parent(s).

  How to make them hate you:

  You discipline them. Become the very strict "parent." Become their brother or sister. Or find out, if they had any siblings and what their relationship was like. If they hated their sister or brother or both, find out what they disliked about them and resemble it. But, be warned, they may either try harder to get the old you back or, they may hate you. They may try to get the old you back because our mind is always trying to relieve things in the past that we miss.

  How you can tell they're the child:

  You can simply tell because they act like a child. Their eyes light up when they are put into positions where they can be a child again, and relive their child hood. They complain about how much they hate being responsible or an adult. Basically, they complain about adult things. The man mentioned below always complained, "Growing up is so fun isn't it?"

  Their eyes light up when you do something a parent would. Or maybe they talk about their parents all the time. And, good childhood memories. These are certain things to look out for in this target type.

  An example:

  A man I know fits into this category. We'll call him Taylor. He is married to someone I'm close with, ever since I've been a little girl. The woman I know, we will call her Alex. He is the child. And, she is the mother. Even the relationship with Taylor's mother shows in his marriage with Alex. He lights up every time Alex does something motherly. He's been with girls always older than him.

  When Alex and Taylor's marriage was falling apart, Alex thought the solution was dressing sexier. Sexy is subjective. Sexy to Alex, was skimpy and tight dark colors. Sexy to Taylor however, was knitted material, home cooking, you know... motherly stuff. I was chatting with Alex one day about how her marriage was falling apart, and after realizing how Taylor was, I just advised her to change it up and made her realize that he didn't find skimpy, and tight sexy. He found motherly mannerisms even sexier. So she put that to action. And, I'll tell you, he gave her a lot more attention.

  I knew Taylor fit the child, because of a couple things:

  -Every time we went out with Alex, he always noticed mothers. He would make comments about mothers. And, when Alex did something motherly, he'd literally become a child. His tone of voice would change, and he would say "thank you Alex." In an eerie childish tone.

  -When she stopped cooking for him, and ordering him around like his mother would, he stopped paying any attention to her. He had a rough childhood. And guess who was always there for him, to console, and advise him? Mommy, indeed. When she wasn't there for him, cooking, cleaning etc. He hated that. Why? Because she wasn't being a good "mommy." Or wife, he tells me.

  -She has a son. And obviously Alex was trying to be a mother to her son. He hated that also, he competed with her son all the time. Even manipulated her into kicking him out. I know he manipulated her, because well... He told me himself. (He saw me as the go to person, to tell his marriage secrets to.)

  target type: the narcissist

  "It's not easy being superior to everyone I know."

  - Anonymous

  Description:

  They’re all about themselves. They're self-absorbed. Narcissists are in love with their own images.

  Note: narcissists can take on many other forms such as: someone who believes everyone is laughing at them, following them. They think it's all about them. Even in a negative sense. Newsflash: the world is a big place. You're not that significant.

  What is missing in their lives: complete satisfaction with themselves, and self-esteem.

  Their motivations: To feed their ego as much as possible.

  Deepest darkest desires/suppressed sides:

  Power, and control. To be the superior.

  How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:

  -You have to feed their ego, because that's how their ego survives. Once you stop feeding it, they'll want your attention much more. Rinse, and repeat.

  -Challenge their ego. Tell them they can't do something. Watch as they become obsessed with trying to prove you wrong.

  -Occasionally be the superior. Act superior, do not say it. Remember the rule of representing things and being them. As opposed to verbalizing what you are.

  Matching archetype:

  -Play the innocent charmer. If you play innocent, they believe they are superior to you. Play the smooth talker to feed their ego.

  What to avoid, how to get them to hate you:

  -Don't threaten their ego excessively.

  -Don't feed their ego too much. The codependence comes from a balance of feeding the ego, challenging it, and pulling away.

  Possible psychological causes:

  -Had too much or too little attention.

  -Too much power.

  -Raised by power/attention seeking parents.

  -Lacks empathy.

  -Fantasy prone personality.

  How you can tell:

  -Sees everyone as competition. They need the spotlight.

  -Talking about them all the time.

  -Sense of entitlement.

  -Fishes for compliments

  -They use the words "perfect." "Ideal."

  -Indulge in fantasies.

  -Exaggerated self worth.

  An example:

  I've known Mary all my life. She's influenced my perception of the world, and I've adapted my narcissism from her. She is constantly mentioning the many men that stare at her on the train. How many men want to be with her. She sees pets as accessories and use men as tools to make her look good. (Social proof.)

  One day, I had enough. I had lunch with her, and she asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day. I told her I was helping out my friend who was pregnant, at the time. She told me she was going to a party, and then said, "Are you coming?" I knew she wasn't listening, but that had crossed the boundaries. People who don't listen are one of my biggest pet peeves.

  I knew what her weaknesses were, so I decided to play around with them. The obvious narcissistic weaknesses: vanity. Hers was beauty, and aging.

  I made a date to see her again. She usually asks whom I'm seeing. So I made sure she asked me this time. By asking her whom she was seeing. At the time, I was dating a doctor. I told her we broke it off because I WAS TOO YOUNG.

  Her reaction was priceless. Since she was in denial of her aging, I indirectly reminded her of the truth. By that small statement. Sometimes we become sad, because small unconscious cues remind us of our weaknesses. So no, it's not "just one of those days."

  She seemed depressed for a while, but couldn't put her finger on it. Her sadness was boring, so I fed her ego again. I put her on an emotional ego roller coaster, which led to her obsession with me.

  target type: the histrionic

  Description:

  Someone who genuinely enjoys or even needs to have drama in their lives. They want their lives to be like a dramatic sitcom with a never-ending conclusion at the end. It just continues.

  How you can tell:

  They're always in some kind of fucked up situation. They regularly speak about disorderly situations that they are currently in, or were previously a part of. They don't discuss it like it's a problem or, they were venting, they talk about it like it's their hobby. There are certain types of people who "vent" about their suffering, but unconsciously like it. Sometimes different kinds of vents are their way of trying to communicate how they are.

  For example a girl who always "complains" about men, who stalk her or are obsessed with her, is her way of telling y
ou "hey I'm significant." "Hey people want me."

  Their psychology:

  -They were brought up this way.

  -Maybe they watched a lot of television.

  -They believe their lives are boring, if there isn't drama.

  -Raised in an environment that was filled with drama.

  How you make them fall in love:

  It's simple. Just give them drama. However, you'll have to be fickle. Adding in plot twists to the drama. Or, acting in ways seems to be out of character for you. But, not too out of character or you run the risk of your act appearing unrealistic. What you'll want to do is add in a mixture of fantasy and reality. Watch dramatic TV. Shows. Each character acts and reacts in ways that fit their personality. Whatever persona you are trying to pursue to seduce a person, play within it. Hint at a dark and dangerous side too. Wherever there is a solution, there is a problem. Stick with the problem.

  What not to do:

  Don't be predictable. Don't be innocent. Don't be a problem solver. If there is a solution, keep it to yourself. There are also certain types of drama that people prefer. And, certain ones drama queens stay away from. Figure out which type of drama they are attracted to, and give them that type of drama.

  For example:

  I was friends with a guy, who was a drama queen. He was obsessed with this girl who was a drug addict. She would always call him up when she was in trouble and he would come to her rescue. So that was his drama fix. Play within their vice.