How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You, Forever; How to Make Someone Obsessed With You

by Scarlett Kennedy

  Archetype for this person:

  The dangerous one. This'll keep them on their toes. Hope and pulling away is very important for the drama queen. Pulling away adds to the drama.

  The hopeless person. Hopeless people or damsel in distresses (male or female) tend to land in dramatic situations.

  What is missing in their lives:

  Internal peace.

  Their motivations:

  To keep the drama going.

  To keep their lives interesting, by continuing the drama.

  Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves: To have a routine, to have peace.

  Idealized selves: They may idealize someone who is balanced, and well rounded. Opposites do attract.

  target type: the rich person

  Description:

  A rich person is a powerful person. They have power and influence.

  People are constantly kissing their Asses. Thus making the powerful person apprehensive of anyone and everyone's intentions. After all, people kiss their Asses because they want something. Being in charge, and dominant all the time, leaves them stiff, and create a growing desire to lose control, and trust issues.

  How to get them to fall in love and their matching archetype:

  You have to patient. Rich powerful people are usually busy and have to handle a substantial amount of responsibilities. They don't have much time. So they won't have much time for you, in their minds. Meaning, you will have to take your time and go slowly.

  Act like you're superior to them. Or, like they're your equals. But, never inferior, like everyone else does. If you act like everyone else does, or they won't fall for you. Rich people who aren't in a relationship can get lonely. After all, being at the top, is lonely. Primarily, because they become suspicious and may shut people out, due to their paranoia. You may act superior by simply acting like you don't need them. Be brutally honest about something most people wouldn't. Make them feel a little insecure. Be independent. Pay for your own meal. Have a life outside of them. Be cold. Be detached. Don't be surprised by things they attempt to impress you with. Even seem like it's not good enough. Like they're not worthy.

  What to avoid:

  Never mention money. I made a joke about stealing a hockey player’s money when I was at a hockey game with my rich boyfriend. I was also intoxicated out of my mind (give me some credit!) He's been distant ever since. Never seem intimidated. Act like everything is casual. You have to seem like you fit in. Like all this is your norm. Because you wouldn't feel intimidated if it was your norm. And, if you fit in, great. Don't let them intimidate you if they don’t. Intimidate them.

  Possible psychological causes/Their psychology:

  They are the way they are simply due to their power, wealth, influence, how people treat them.

  How to get them to hate you:

  -Kiss their ass.

  -Talk about all their money, be inferior to them.

  How you can tell:

  This one is pretty obvious. And if they're hiding it, you're bound to discover sooner or later if they allow you to stick around for long. Unless he or she is dirt poor and they truly did make an effort to impress you. Then yes. Be impressed. Or fake it. Whatever floats your boat.

  What is missing in their lives:

  Someone they can trust.

  Loss of control.

  Someone to put them in their place.

  Their motivations:

  To protect themselves from "gold diggers." (This includes men, as well.)

  Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:

  To lose control, to be controlled. Someone to "punish them."

  Idealized selves:

  Their lifestyles may already be ideal. However, they may have characteristics they idealize. Perhaps they want to be more patient, kind, spontaneous. Possibly, because they lack such qualities.

  target type: the player

  Description:

  Men aren't limited to the title of the player. Women are too. Except they're called whores. Whores are the female equivalent of the player. Except, in this book. I'm not talking about how the many partners a player or "whore." I'm not talking about how many genitals you saw, and whose vagina was tighter vs. whose dick was bigger and thicker. I'm talking about playing a different battlefield: people's emotions.

  Possible psychological causes:

  -If they have other options, they can't get hurt.

  -It makes them feel worthy, and powerful. After all, if they have many partners, and admirers, they are worthy... right?

  -Approval from outsiders. To outsiders, the player seems confident. Approval from the opposite gender. Or, the same gender.

  -Fear of abandonment. If you're the player, you're in control. You're going to leave anyway. (Reverse abandonment.) Even if they left first, you were only playing them.... correct?

  -They have a variety of psychological needs that one person can't fulfill. So they diversify, and go to other people. (No shame in that.)

  -They were good little girls and boys during their youth, tied down in an exclusive relationship. Then they grow up, and think "god, did I miss out?" Now they want to experiment.

  What is missing in their lives:

  -Satisfaction

  -Self esteem

  -Security (of being with someone else.)

  Their motivations:

  To protect themselves from emotional pain, and gain approval from outside sources.

  Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves: Their "emotional" "committed" side.

  Idealized selves: The player is complex. For their idealized selves, you'll have to do lots of studying of the player.

  How you can tell someone is a player:

  -They're smooth talkers. The pretentious, corny, pathetic smooth talkers. (who have possibly said the same things to other people.)

  -They're incredibly flirty.

  -Incredibly outgoing and "confident."

  -They seem bored often.

  -Shares lots of sex jokes.

  -Talk about other girls/guys. Their past relationships.

  How to get them to obsess over you:

  Understand why they're a player. Everyone has different reasons why they do things. Discover theirs. Is it a wall? Is it because they are afraid of getting hurt? Whatever it is, discover first. Then, appeal to that. If they fear commitment (see: commitment phobe.) If they fear abandonment, show any minute now, you could walk away.

  Never state your intentions.

  Give them unconscious mixed signals. Have flirty eyes, give them an ambiguous compliment.

  Slightly bruise their ego. Slightly, not excessively. You want them to get to a point where they feel they are capable of conquering you. Then you pull back. I mentioned you need to understand why they are a player, because whatever wall is up, you must bruise their ego according to their reasons for being a player.

  For example:

  Youngin needed verbal validation. When he asked me questions seeking verbal validation, I'll be fickle. I'll say something along the lines of, or imply that I don't care. When "he blamed me for getting him sick" I said "sorry. Kind of." Then, I would snicker. He proceeds to overcompensate. As a result of this example, observe their actions. Not words.

  Repeat and rinse. Once you see they are starting to lose hope and ready to give up, at that moment, give them that hope that they can potentially win you over.

  Archetypes that match the player:

  It is usually the innocent ones. Because they think it'll be easy to conquer innocent ones.

  Proceed to throw them off, by playing the sassy ones. Because the sassy ones are usually independent and are the ones who bruise his or her ego. They'll keep coming back for more.

  The sexual ones:

  Because it stimulates their imagination. You don't need to have sex with them. Just stimulate their imagination ambiguously. Give them the hope that sex may be in the future cards.

  Note:
you must be classy about this.

  A combination of all is necessary. And, the perfect timing. During a certain time you will have to play the innocent. During a certain time you will have to play the sassy.

  Things to avoid:

  Don't be overly sexual.

  Be innocent, and spirituality. Stay classy. A sexy look in your eye. Not your tits popping out. Or, your muscles popping out.

  If you're a male, don't be a god damn creep.

  Do not VERBALLY state what your intentions are, or what you think of them.

  Remember!

  You're the coach. You run this game.

  target type: the knight in shining armour

  There are two types of rescuers:

  1) The circumstance rescuer:

  The one who wants to, and will, rescue you from bad situations.

  These ones can't resist rescuing you from atrocious circumstances and/situations. All you have to do is place yourself in a troubling situation, call them in the middle of the night and beg for help. They'll be accessible. If they can't, they'll attempt to rescue you, every other time.

  What not to do:

  Be safe. Have any kind of routine. You can, but occasionally you'll need to "be saved."

  Example:

  I had a friend we'll call Joe, who was the situation rescuer. He was obsessed with the stereotypical damsel in distress who we will call Jane. Jane was a typical damsel in distress. She had a long term drug addiction to heroin, and called up Joe every time she had a break down. Which was every millisecond. Joe was her personal chauffeur when she got hammered, and stoned. The catch? When he received the call, he would come to the rescue. This meant if we were three hours from my house, we would drop me off and leave me stranded. There was one time when we decided to go on a road trip out of town. It was one of those things we loved to do when we first met. Months later we developed a routine of him picking me up in the middle of the night, going through a Wendy's drive through, parking in the middle of nowhere and just talking. I grew tired of this hangout routine, and suggested we go out of town, like the older days. I was excited. Joe, however, did not seem effected. He seemed like he was just there because he felt sorry for me. As soon as we reached our destination, she called. I had hoped he would resist the temptation of rescuing her, this time. He didn't. Instead, he'd abandoned me, in the middle of nowhere, three hours away from home. I wasn't surprised by this at all. How did I get home you ask? I called up every other rescuer I knew, until someone finally came. After all, it was 6 P.M on a Tuesday night.

  2) The moral hero:

  The second type of rescuer, is the one who wants to rescue you from your dark side. And, thinks they can change you. They're essentially trying to rescue you from yourself, and reform you into a "good, moral person." These types of rescuers want to change you, because "they care."

  What to do:

  All you have to do is show a dark side. A sweet and innocent as well. Do bad, naughty, immoral things. Have a nasty habit. It can be physical or psychological habits. Whether it be drugs, you're manipulative, or continuously cheats everything. You have your pick. Allow your target to see small doses of your bad habit. They'll grow curious, and may want to see more of your habit. Watch as they'll try to "rescue you" from yourself. Common things you'll hear will be "just give me a call when you feel like doing (insert bad habit here)."

  "We can hang out when you have urges to do (insert habit here.)"

  They may begin to sound like a parent as well.

  What not to do: Be a goody two shoes.

  Be perfect, hide the cracks within your personality.

  Possible psychological causes of the two types of rescuers:

  -they believe they'll feel worthy if they can change you.

  -they want these changes within people, because in their ideal world people are the way they want to be. Think... Hitler. He had an ideal vision of the world, and tried to mold and shape the world to his vision.

  -they feel they lack some kind of justice in their lives. So if they change you, they just get that justice.

  -approval from people

  -they believe in karma.

  -They have a severe guilt complex

  -They feel superior for being the savior.

  -They believe people are inadequate, but may be projecting.

  For example:

  When I meet the moral type of rescuers, I take advantage of something within their psychology.

  It is the fact that they want to change me.

  It’s like with the player type. Women want to be that one woman who changes that man. Who molds him in a way that doesn’t make him a player anymore. Rather, the committed man.

  However, women don’t just do it. Everyone does it. Including men. And, I take advantage of the fact that people want to change me. As a matter of fact, I don’t run away from it. I invite it. I open the door for these men who desperately want to change me.

  They see a young beautiful girl. And, have these preconceived notions that she is all sweet and innocent. Although, sexual, all at once.

  That’s what they see with me. They start assuming things in their minds, I go with it. Then, there is that part of obsession, where you need to throw them off. You need to keep them on their toes.

  Hence, I hint at a dark side. I suggest a more secretive corrupt side to me. This danger. And it lures them in.

  Then they somehow get the news that I am not so good after all. I am naughty. And I do not show any shame. Mainly because I’m not ashamed of how bad, or naughty I am. As a matter of fact, I indulge in it.

  How they find out:

  Through a friend, through someone “accidentally” exposing me. Or, I leave very obvious hints.

  Once, I left my phone unlocked, with dirty, twisted messages.

  This is the part where they become emotional. That’s when my sweet innocence comes back. It is false hope. You make it seem like you are innocent again. Once again, they have hope that you are still a good citizen of the world. And they feel relieved. Wrong. After you see they are getting used to it, you become that little devil again.

  Whatever little devil may mean to you, or them. For me, it is drug use. Not getting my life on track (according to them. My life is great.) Sometimes, I deliberately play the hopeless damsel in distress.

  But the moral (not so much. Since I don't have any) of this story, Is that you can use your dark side as bait.

  Get them to want to shape and mold you. Talk about change to increase their sense of hope. Then crash it by going back to your ways of being “such a bad person”

  Remember you can’t be too obvious. Don’t get into trouble every night. Once in a while. Because if they are used to you getting into trouble all the time, you wouldn’t be applying the essence of hope and tribulation.

  What is missing in their lives:

  -Focus on their own lives. Rescuers are too busy saving people from themselves, as a distraction from the need to rescue yourself.

  -Justice.

  Their motivations:

  To be the rescuer, the knight I'm shining amour.

  Deepest darkest desires/Potential suppressed parts of themselves:

  To be applauded, and admired for their heroism.

  target type: the commitment phobe

  Description:

  The commitment phobe is someone who fears commitment. They may pull away when things get serious, remain single, or become a player.

  What is missing in their lives:

  They want love, but don't want the dangers and pain that come with it.

  Their motivations:

  To be free. To not be obligated to anything because commitment is "imprisonment."

  Avoid pain.

  Deepest darkest desires/suppressed sides:

  To be in a committed relationship.

  If not, a committed relationship, they desire someone they can open up to, without restricting themselves.

  Idealized self:

  They want t
o be fearless. Not to fear relationships, or any type of commitment. This can be a commitment to lose weight, get a better career, quit their job, be a better person.

  Possible psychological causes:

  It's the environment they grew up in. Basically, the commitment phobe feels if they commit they'll lose their freedom. What if they have other options? What if they couldn't do the things they used to? They'll feel trapped.

  Second one, is having to be responsible. Having to make a final decision.

  What if they chose the wrong decision, and they’re stuck with it for the rest of their lives?

  What if this decision ruins their lives, ruins their reputation?(See: analysis paralysis)

  In this case if someone is a commitment phobe in relationships it is also about control. They feel like they'll lose control because they'll become vulnerable and weak. They want to be able to control the other person, because of how their environment was, growing up.

  Lastly, the most obvious one, they've been hurt before. Or, has witnessed someone close to them (mother, father) get hurt in the past. Or, it could be the other way around. They could've witnessed someone close to them doing the hurting.

  How you'll be able to tell:

  -They can and/or will shut down emotionally.

  -Most times it won't seem like they are concerned about you or anyone else.

  -You suspect they have other options. Sometimes, commitment phobes will have other options just in case another one walks away.

  -They may pull away when things get serious.