by KM Lowe
“Is this to do with your chat with Stracey?” I want to shake my head, but I can’t. I just look at my feet. “For what it’s worth, she’s just as fucked up as you,” says Chardonnay.
“I can’t do any more. I’ve told her how I feel, I laid everything on the table for her, but she told me she couldn’t. I know she believes I’m going to die like her grandma did. I know she blames the council’s punishment for her death, but I’m not a witch. I’m not her grandma.” I sigh, frustrated with the whole situation.
“Look. Listen to me, you big numpty. I’ve never tried to be your Alpha, because truth be told, if you wanted to fight for my spot, you’d win, and the fucking pack would stand with you. Your name is gold around these parts, but you’ll do well to remember who you are. What you are.” My eyes lift from the floor to Carlos’s eyes. He’s a good Alpha, but most importantly, he’s a damn good friend. “You’re Jasper fucking Johnston. Extraordinary enforcer. Father. Guardian. Top fucking dog. You’ll do the punishment, show that council what they’ll be missing, come home, and help us build up this fucking pack to be the best around.”
“Was that a competition to see how many times you could say ‘fucking’ in one conversation?” I tease, but he slaps his hand off my cheek playfully. “Thank you. I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next few weeks, but I’ll do all I can to come home, just as long as I know Lisa, Markus and Joel are fine.”
“They will be.”
I nod and lift my hand for Carlos to shake. “Sorry to barge in here so early.”
“I’d usually say anytime, but try and make it later next time.” Carlos laughs.
I smile and side step around Chardonnay and Carlos. I’m a little more at ease knowing I’ve made sure my three are okay. I know they’re not kids, and they have Lisa’s adoptive parents, but I need to know someone of their own kind has their back if need be.
I jog through camp and stop outside my cabin. The dawn is my favourite time of the day. Everything and everyone is starting a fresh, new day. The morning birds sing their tunes, and the crisp air circulates around us. It’s like one of those moments in a film where the new day starts after a big event. Everything is peaceful and calm.
“What are ye doing up with the birds?” I look over my shoulder to see Joel leaning against my door frame. “You wet the bed, ol’ Jasper?”
“You’re not too big to go over my knee and get a skelpt backside.” I snigger and walk up my steps. “For nosy buggers like you, I had a couple of things to take care of before I leave. Anyway, what are you doing here at this time?”
Joel looks down at his watch and smiles. “It’s seven a.m. I came for my breakfast.”
“Shouldn’t it be me that’s getting my breakfast cooked?”
“Unless you want a burnt down cabin, food poisoning, or just disappointment, you’re better cooking yourself. Besides, you know you like cooking,” Joel says, winking cheekily at me.
“What are you three going to do when I’m not here?” I pause, shake my head and smile. “In fact, don’t tell me. What I don’t know won’t hurt me.” I pat Joel’s back and enter the cabin.
Markus is already in the kitchen making coffee when we enter. He quickly looks from us to his watch. He clearly didn’t know I was out and about so early.
“Morning, son. You okay?” I lift my hand and squeeze his shoulder firmly.
“Aye. Are you okay?”
“Sure am. Is Kevin up?” I ask, pulling the coffee mug away from Markus.
“He’s in the shower. Help yourself, why don’t you?” Markus shakes his head and retrieves another mug for himself. “Coffee, Joel?”
“I thought you were never going to ask.”
This moment right here is never going to leave my mind. The fun banter going around is exactly what I need to hear this morning, because although Markus, Joel, and Lisa are adults, they still need me around, and I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
***
I don’t fancy saying all the goodbyes this morning, so I’ve stood at the Jeep, waiting for Kevin to join me. I was hoping to see Stracey here this morning, but she clearly has things going on in her head, and any normal time I’d help her through it, but now my time here is up and I haven’t got any option but to walk away from her.
“You all set?” asks Carlos. He steps towards me with Chardonnay tucked into his side.
“As ready as I’m ever going to be. As soon as Kevin shows up, we’ll hit the road.” Just as I said that, Kevin came around the corner of the cabin with his arm around Lisa’s shoulder. Markus is carrying Kevin’s bag. “All set?” I ask him.
He raises his eyebrows and tightens his arms around Lisa as she wraps her arms around his neck.
“You better come back to us safe and well,” cries Lisa.
“I will. Don’t you be worrying about me. Live your life as you normally would. I’ll call when I can. Markus…” Kevin holds Lisa’s arms out and waits until Markus comforts her before he walks away.
“Take care, buddy,” says Markus. “Come on, babe.”
The sobs from Lisa break my heart. I want to turn around and say fuck it all, but I don’t want anything to fall back on the pack.
“We’ll be fine, honey.” I take Lisa and Markus into my arms and just hold them tight for a minute or three. “Just look after one another.”
I step away from Markus and Lisa, open my Jeep door, and get settled in for the drive. Kevin is already sitting in the front seat with his seat belt on, eyes focused on the front window.
“Jasper!” I turn quickly to see Joel jogging over to me from the forest. “You didn’t think I’d let you go without saying goodbye, did you?”
“I knew you were busy.”
“Never busy enough to come to you. Take care, okay?”
“I will. Stay out of trouble.”
I step away from Joel and get in the car. I close my door and start the motor. I need to get away from here, because the longer we hang around, the harder it is for us to leave.
“Let’s do this, kid.”
I pull away and keep my attention trained on the mirror until I can’t see anyone. I sigh with relief the moment I’m out of sight. Now we just have to get over whatever mission we’re placed on.
Chapter 4
Stracey
I’ve sat here and talked myself out of heading to Carlos’s cabin, because I can’t say goodbye to Jasper. I don’t want it to be the last time I see him. I know, I’m being stupid, but I can’t get my grandmother out of my head. I’ll always blame the council for her death. Now, it’s like history repeating itself.
Every time I think I’m going to see Jasper, I get to the front door and turn back. That’s why I’ve ended up sitting in front of it. I’m using any method I can not to give in and run to him. He doesn’t need me clouding his head right now. He needs to keep a clear head and go into this punishment with his head screwed on.
“Stracey! Open up!” I jump at the sound of banging on the door. It’s vibrating against my back. I quickly get to my feet, and in my dishevelled state, I unlock my door. I’m terrified to see what’s going on, but I open the door promptly.
“Joel. What is it?” I ask softly.
“Don’t you dare give me your ‘what is it, Joel,’ speech.”
I take a step back and fold my arms over my chest. Why is he acting like this?
“I don’t understand.”
“I could really go to town on your arse. Why, Stracey? We were all there, even though it killed us to say goodbye. Why couldn’t you put your past to bed for five goddamn minutes?”
“I… I… Don’t-”
Joel interrupts me and points his finger at my chest. “You don’t know. You couldn’t say goodbye. You were frightened that’s the last you’ll see him. Newsflash! We were all feeling it, Strace. He left here looking over his shoulder to see if you were going to show up.”
“Joel!” Chardonnay and Lisa yell. “Stop this!”
“No! She n
eeds to hear this. What happens if he never comes back, Stracey? You’ve got to live with that. You’ll have that guilt hanging over your head.”
“Stop it!” I step forward and push his shoulder. “I had to do it! I couldn’t mess his head up anymore.”
“And do you really think his head is clear now? For a smart woman, you didn’t think that through well. I mean, he’s left here loving you, thinking you don’t love him enough back. It took guts for him to confess his love to you at the weekend. For what?”
I shake my head quickly, tears rolling down my cheeks, chest heaving. “I… I do love him. You have to believe me, Joel.”
“I thought I knew you, Stracey. I thought you’d be there for him when he needed you. I thought you’d be there today.”
“Goodbye, Joel.”
I shut the door harshly and bolt it. I can’t be doing with anyone’s anger today. I thought I was doing the right thing, but what if Joel was right? What if I’ve made things worse? What if I never see Jasper again?
I’ve only brought this pain and misery on myself.
CHAPTER 5
Jasper
We’ve sat in Braxton’s office for just short of an hour. Yeah, I’ve been clock watching. Between Kevin’s bouncing knee, and my thoughts running back to the kids and Stracey, I’m a nervous wreck.
“Kevin, sit still.”
“Sorry. I’m just…”
“Nervous. Yeah, I get it.” I knock his arm with mine, trying anything to lighten the tense atmosphere.
This is my life. I’m used to being thrown into terrible situations where sometimes my life’s in danger, or I need to make the call where it’s one of my guys’ lives or a pack. This life sucks at times, because no matter what, it’s always survival of the fittest. You either kill or be killed. Well, I choose the former, especially over the coming days, weeks, or months.
Kevin may have been brought up by a rogue and his pack, but this life, this council, the work; it’s all new to him. He will fight to save himself, but he needs to get it out of his head that this isn’t wrong. This is life. This is what we do in order to make the world a safer place for our loved ones. Right now, he’s stuck in his own head. He feels like what we’re about to do is no better than his sick, twisted father. I’m hoping the council will give us jobs that will let me teach him the difference.
I’ve saved more than I’ve killed. I’ll always be a born guardian sent to save my own kind. I will always do what I feel is right to protect myself, my loved ones, and the pack I’ve always slotted into when it suited me. I’m lucky Carlos is a good Alpha, because he could have shut me out a long time ago. All I ever do is take him home more and more waifs and strays. No wonder we need to build more amenities within the camp.
“What’s taking so long? If we were late, they’d have had something to say…” Just as Kevin finishes, the door behind us opens and in walk Braxton and Julian.
“Sorry to keep you, gentlemen. I’m pleased to see you were on time,” says Braxton in his smarmy tone. I really would love to rip out his throat.
Both Kevin and I sit in silence. I hope and pray he won’t open his mouth and say something sarcastic, and luckily for us, he stays quiet, stops bobbing his knee up and down, and stares ahead.
“Okay. Let’s get down to business. I take it Jasper filled you in, Kevin.”
“Yes, he did.” Kevin pauses and silence fills the room. I nudge my foot into his for him to address Braxton properly.
“Sir. Yes, he did, sir,” says Braxton, mocking Kevin’s words. “I see Jasper will have his work cut out with you.”
“Actually, Kevin’s a valued member of Carlos’s pack. He’s going to be missed while he’s here. Yes, he’s young, impressionable, and lacking some skills we need to be streetwise, but he’ll make a good Beta one day, I’m sure of it.” I lift the corner of my lips into a smile and wait for Braxton to say something, but he just glares between Kevin and me before he sits down.
“Right. I’ve been thinking about you two all weekend. I think I’ve come up with the perfect plan. I think we’ll start your training right away.” I raise my eyebrow and cock my head to the side to study both men. “I have two perfectly good cells downstairs with your names on them. For forty-eight hours, you’ll both have a cell. A very simple, dark, cell. Only, you’ll not be allowed to sleep. You’ll get the basic rations and minimal contact with anyone. On Wednesday morning, you’ll be taken to the ring. Jasper, you’ll start Kevin’s training. I want eight hours a day of intense training. I want you to repeat it for ten days. After those ten days, I’m sending you to Canada for three months. While you’re there, you’ll be joining forces with a few of our guys.”
“And what do we do in Canada?” I ask.
“All will be revealed in good time. You need to have patience, Jasper.”
“I’ll have patience when this is over with and I can return to my family for good. Can we make our way to these cells?”
“Always eager to please, Jasper.”
I sigh and shake my head. Looking from the floor to Braxton, I say, “No. I’d say the quicker the job is done, the quicker we’re finished. Don’t flatter yourself that it’s to please you. Those days are well and truly over.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Jasper.” Although his words said one thing, his face and body language said another. “Callum!”
Callum. Really? He’s one of my good friends while I work here. He was with us throughout the search for Lisa, and he’s kept in touch.
“Yes, sir. You called,” says Callum as he stands in the doorway behind me.
“Can you take these two gentlemen to their living quarters for the duration of their stay? I’m hoping that I can trust you to follow these orders.”
“Yes, sir. Let’s go, gentlemen.” Callum stands in between Kevin and me. I stand up and Kevin hesitates for a moment before following my lead.
“One more thing…” We all stop dead mid-stride but don’t turn around. “There are no more chances. Fuck this up and I’ll have no option but to fuck you up. Go!”
We all make our way out of the office and I follow behind Callum until we’re out of earshot. “Are you crazy, Jasper? Fuck’s sake, buddy. This is going to be hell for you.”
“I’ll get over it.”
“For what it’s worth, the wolf communities have heard about this, and to say they’re pissed off is an understatement. How they can do this to you is diabolical. What’s Carlos saying?”
“He’s taken it in his stride. Not much he can do because I told him not to go against my wishes. I took the blame, I should take the time. Why they’ve brought Kevin into this mess is beyond me. If this was just me, I wouldn’t mind much, but an innocent kid changes the game. They’re out of order.” My hands shake with fury over the council’s actions.
“Just stay strong, kid. You’ve got a good teacher here. I’ll drop you some water and supplies when I’m passing. It should help to tolerate the slops they give you down here.”
“Fuck!” I look over my shoulder to see Kevin looking around the space we’ve just entered. “It’s like a prison in a dungeon. What the fuck? They can’t do this, surely?”
It’s been several years since I’ve been down here, but the stench hasn’t changed. All around us is a strong smell of urine and damp. It isn’t a good combination. The candle lights on the walls along the hall are dull. The walls are pure black, and with no natural light, there isn’t much to help us see.
“They can. There’s no one above them to stop them,” I explain.
“Just keep your head down, follow orders, and don’t break any rules. Stay off their radar and you’ll be fine,” Callum says to Kevin.
“Which one is mine?” I ask, rolling my eyes.
I’ve been down here to lock prisoners up. I’ve been down here to beat wolves into submission. I’ve been down here to see the guards. But this is the first time I’ll be a prisoner down here.
“Down the end. They’re keeping you apart so you
can’t be in contact while you’re down here. The only contact you’ll be getting is from the guards on duty. You’ll see each other at your training sessions, but they’re going to try everything to break you.”
“It will take more than the damn council to break me, Cal,” I scoff.
“I hope so, because I don’t look forward to the fallout if anything happens to you.”
“Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence,” I say, a tad pissed off.
“Sorry. I didn’t think. I know you’ll be fine.”
“I have to be fine. I have a family to take care of. Now I’m going to say goodbye, because I’m going to lie down on my flea-infested bed.” I place my hand on Kevin’s shoulder and squeeze it tightly. “Stay strong. This is only to play with your head, and you can do this.”
“I’ll try, Jasper,” he croaks.
I stand and watch Kevin’s back as he follows Callum to his cell. His body is tense, his shoulders square, and his face like stone. I hate to see kids down here. It isn’t called for, but these goons are old school. They haven’t moved with the times, so hard labour, torturing, and imprisonment in the worst possible conditions are what they still follow.
I walk down the long, damp corridor. The sounds of moaning and sniffling are heard through the doors. Who knows how long some of these prisoners have been down here? On the plus side, I think we’ll only be down here for forty-eight hours. I’m hoping they have other accommodation for us when the training starts, because this is no good when you’re tired and aching. We’ll be like dead men walking when we enter Canada.
Only time will tell what we need to do.
Time is something we have plenty of.
***
Our first twenty-four hours down here is over. We only have another twenty-four to go, but it’s ticking by slowly. It feels like we’ve been down here for months, maybe even years. Every second feels like an eternity. I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep. Every moment I drift off, someone bangs on my door to rouse me. Now I get what Braxton meant when he said we wouldn’t be getting any sleep for the next forty-eight hours. It’s all a lot of fucking garbage, and I won’t forget who follows their orders and treats me and Kevin like pieces of dirt they scraped off the bottom of their shoes.