“Lauren!”
“What? Nobody said I can’t look. I may be married and pregnant, but I’m certainly not blind. And neither are you.”
Chris reappeared with a cup of green beer and a bottle of water. “Ready for another round? I think they’re getting ready.”
We played several more hands, and I all but lost my winnings from earlier. Chris and Jake played aggressively. They seemed to really have it out for each other.
“Damn!” Jake complained when Chris revealed another winning hand.
My pile of chips dwindled before my eyes. Jake frowned when I stood up. “Where’re you going?”
“It’s after ten. I have school tomorrow.” I turned to Lauren. “What do you think? You ready?”
“I think I’m great,” she said, reaching for her winnings. “You go ahead. I’ll stick around here for awhile. I haven’t had this much fun in ages!”
Jake shook his head at me. “It’s not that late. Stay awhile.”
“I can’t. Besides, I’m out of money.”
“Here, take some of mine,” Jake offered.
“No, really.”
“But-.”
“Oh, let her go.” Cynthia scowled from across the table. “The poor girl has to go home and get ready for school in the morning.” She laughed, but no was paying attention.
I didn’t give in. “I’m going to bed, okay?”
A flirtatious grin spread across Jake’s face. “Need any company?”
Chris cleared his throat from my other side. Jake’s grin only widened.
“Goodnight, Jake. Try to behave, alright?” I looked at Chris. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
I gave Lauren a hug and headed for the exit. Cynthia caught up with me before I was out the door.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.
I sighed and secretly fantasized about her head popping off. I wondered what that would look like; would it be gory, like in the movies? Or would it just disintegrate into a fine, red mist? “What?” I asked, not holding back on my annoyance.
“I just want to be clear about what’s going on here, okay?”
“What’s going on with what?”
“Oh, come on Allison, let’s not act like children here.” I raised my eyebrows in question. “Chris! I’m talking about Chris.” We both glanced at him. He was still at the table, but looking in our direction.
“What about him?”
“Allie, honey, clearly you’re out of your league with that one.”
I couldn’t help the shock that spread across my face.
“Just don’t get your hopes up. It’s perfectly natural for someone like you to dream about being with a guy like him, but it will never happen.”
“What’s your point, Cynthia?” Her lack of propriety was infuriating. “You think you have a better shot?”
“Now don’t get mad. You and I both know that you’re from different worlds. Why would he be interested in someone like you, when-”
“-he could have someone like you instead?” I finished.
“Exactly. Like I said, I’m just trying to help.” She put her hand on my shoulder. I took a step back, shrugging her off. Chris stood up.
“Who said I was interested, anyway? We’re just friends, okay?” My feelings were hurt, and the tears were coming, but I forced them back. No way would I let her see me cry.
“Just so we’re clear.”
“Perfectly.”
Chris caught up with us. “What’s going on?” He gave Cynthia a threatening look.
“Nothing important, just some girl-talk. Right, Allie?”
“Sure,” I said, not looking at either of them. “Hey, I gotta go.” I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. I slipped out the door and jumped into a waiting cab. Just as the car pulled away from the curb, Chris came out. He looked around, but I didn’t ask the driver to stop.
Chapter 15
Jake was pacing outside my classroom door. “Allie!” he yelled, waving.
I took one look at his stupid grin and knew that I didn’t want to hear what was next.
He started talking before I got the door open, bragging about how he’d hooked up with Heather after I left the game last night.
“Jake, please!” I complained, covering my ears with my hands.
“What?”
“T-M-I!”
His brow pulled down into a pout, but his smirk said he wasn’t really upset. “I just want to fill you in.”
“I don’t need the particulars. I promise I won’t get upset if you don’t tell me everything.”
He left just as Sam and Melody shuffled in. Their gloomy moods mirrored my own, so lessons were slow-going. Even the clock seemed to be stuck in a state of animated suspension. It felt like three days had passed when noon finally came.
Chris poked his head in the door as the kids were packing their bags.
“Hi!” I said with more cheer than I felt.
He looked around before coming in. “How was your morning?”
I glanced towards Melody and Sam. “It would be better if people weren’t so darn moody.”
He wrapped his hands around Sam’s shoulders and squeezed. “Aw, they’re just mad because they weren’t invited to the games. You know, because of the gambling and the b-e-e-r,” he spelled out the word.
“Shut up, Chris.” Melody cast him a sideways glare.
Laughing, he turned to me. “So what was up with you and Cynthia last night?” His casual tone was offset by a serious expression.
The mention of her made my blood boil. I looked down at my desk to hide my irritation. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Why would he be interested in someone like you? The line kept playing itself over and over in my mind like a broken record. But the irony was that I’d been asking myself the same thing.
“I do worry about it. I know how she can be.”
“She was just trying to get information,” I said, dodging around the truth.
“About what?”
I pursed my lips together, trying to decide what to tell him.
“Tell me. What?”
“I think she feels threatened by me. She was making sure I knew my place,” I blurted out.
His eyes narrowed, and his jaw tightened. “What did you tell her?”
“The truth. That she has nothing to worry about. That you and I are just friends.”
“Just friends,” he repeated. I detected mockery. “Do me a favor. Next time, tell her you and I are hitting it hot and heavy. Don’t leave her any hope.” He changed the subject. “Any big plans for the weekend?”
I leaned back in my chair and thought ahead. “Nothing definite. Lessons to plan, papers to grade. You know, the usual. Although, I did hear the weather is supposed to be nice. Maybe I’ll get out and get some fresh air.” A thought came to mind as I looked at him. “What are you doing Saturday?”
An enticing grin spread across his lips. “I don’t know yet, why?”
“Ever been over to Lincoln Park?”
His grin widened. “Nope. You planning on going?”
I nodded. Screw Cynthia. Romantic or not, Chris and I spending the day together would drive her crazy, and I quite enjoyed the thought of that.
“Yes,” I finally said, more to myself than to him. “I think I will. Want to come along?”
“I do. Want me to drive?”
I closed my eyes and remembered the sensation of having my body so tightly pressed against his as we rode through the city the other night. “Definitely.”
***
I woke up Saturday morning, ran to the window, and felt blessed to see the sun shining. A few, puffy white clouds speckled the blue sky.
My cell rang as I was putting on my shoes. I didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”
There was silence on the other end.
“Hello?” I said, a little louder.
“Allie?”
Every cell in my body stiffened when I heard his voice. I sat down on my bed, my shoes forgotten. “Paul?”
“God it’s good to hear your voice. It’s been awhile, huh?”
Both my mind and body were numb.
He sighed. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”
He blew out a breath. “I understand you’re upset, but please-”
“Upset?” That icy numbness was being replaced with hot-blooded anger.
“I’m sorry. I thought about calling so many times but never knew what to say. I guess I kept hoping you’d call, but then I got a new number, and…” he paused.
“And what? You think you can just make everything better with a phone call? Do you have any idea what these last several months have been like for me?”
“It’s been hard for me, too.”
“You’re the one who left!” My voice was tight as I fought hysterics.
“You’re right,” he said coolly. “I was wrong. I should have handled it better.”
“I don’t see what difference it makes now.” My voice was sharp, full of bitterness.
“I got scared. You were ready to settle down. I wasn’t. It freaked me out. What I said, those terrible things before I left, I’m sorry. You must know I didn’t mean them. I miss you.”
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. “Why now?” I whispered, sucking in a sharp breath.
I heard some shuffling on the other end. “I guess I just need to know if there’s still a chance.”
“A chance for what?”
“Us. Will you come to Toronto? Spend some time with me, just a couple of weeks. See what happens.”
My heart was breaking all over again. Why was he doing this to me? I was finally starting to get over him, moving on. “What makes you think things would be any different?”
“I realize now, what a great thing we had. I was so stupid for leaving.”
A fist pounded on my door. Chris, no doubt. “I have to go.”
“Allie, don’t hang up. I’ll wait for you to sort through this. You can reach me at this number whenever you-.”
Chris knocked again, and I hung up. I couldn’t listen to anymore.
I took a deep breath and plastered on a fake smile before pulling open the door. “Good morning!”
“Hi!” he said with a smile that made my head spin. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” He studied my expression. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied, turning for the living room.
He caught my elbow. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”
Our eyes locked, and the words came pouring out before I even had a chance to stop them. “My ex just called.”
“Paul?”
“Yeah. Wait, how did you know?” I hadn’t ever mentioned Paul to him.
“Lauren told me. That night after you left the poker party.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Since when was it Lauren’s business to get involved?
He gave me a guilty look. “Don’t be mad. I kind of pried it out of her.”
I couldn’t blame her entirely. Chris did have a way of getting what he wanted out of people. “What did she tell you?”
“That you and this guy were together forever, just crazy about each other, and then out of nowhere he took a job somewhere and left. She said you were pretty messed up over it. She worries about you, even still.”
“Toronto,” I whispered.
“Huh?”
“That’s where the job was, where he is now.”
Chris sat down on the couch. He held his chin in his hand and ran finger over his bottom lip. “Do you want to talk about it?”
There was something about the way he looked at me, a serenity in his expression that made me trust him. I didn’t normally open up to people so easily, but with Chris I found myself willing.
“I met Paul right after Mom died,” I began, dropping down onto the cushion next to him. “Looking back, I guess I used him to fill that void. Things got serious real quick. I wanted a life with him. I thought we’d get married, take out a mortgage, have kids. I thought he was the one. But then, he left. Said he got a big promotion and was moving. I had obligations, I couldn’t just leave. Not like he offered to take me, though.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “He moved on without me. Until today, I hadn’t heard from him since.”
Chris frowned, and I continued. “I didn’t even know he was going. I went over to his place one night. I wanted to surprise him with dinner. I let myself in, and everything was gone. The couch, the TV, everything.”
“He was going to bail without even telling you?”
“Apparently.”
Chris blew out a breath and traced little lines up across my back with his fingers. The touch was nice. Comforting.
“What happened next?”
“He wouldn’t even look at me. I was so confused, wondering what, after all that time, could have possibly changed?”
“Did he say anything?”
You’re sucking the life right out of me.
I shook my head, unwilling to say it. “It doesn’t matter. It was my fault. I let myself get too attached. If only I…”
Chris sat upright and stiff. “No. You didn’t deserve that. Whatever happened, whatever changed, he should have had the decency to talk to you about it.”
“Maybe. But he was right to move on. I take on too much. I’m too serious. Life. Relationships. I try to be more flippant, but it’s so hard.”
Chris looked like he wanted to laugh. “Flippant? Being serious is not a bad thing, it’s who you are. Look at all your responsibilities. Do you think you could handle everything being flippant? Don’t try to be someone you’re not, Allie. It’s a waste of effort. Trust me.”
I smiled at his logic. “He called today to apologize. He wants me to go see him, wants to try to pick things back up. Can you believe it?” I turned and looked at Chris. His gaze was on the floor.
“What do you want?” he asked gently.
The question hung in the air for a long minute. I knew I’d said too much, so I attempted to lighten the mood. “I want to go to the park,” I said, standing up. I picked up my purse, hooked my sunglasses behind my ears, and looked out at the beginnings of a gorgeous day. “Ready?”
Within minutes, we were on the road. Traffic was surprisingly light, so it didn’t take long for us to get there.
“I haven’t been to a zoo since I was a kid,” he said, looking around.
I said nothing. Mom, Emily, Grams, and I used to go every year, but I hadn’t been back since Mom died. My heart beat heavily against my chest, and I wondered if bringing him here was a bad idea. So many memories.
He took my hand as we walked to the entrance. It felt nice, so I took it a step further and wrapped my arm around his.
Most of the animals were out. A polar bear was sprawled out on a large rock, soaking up the sun. Seals barked and splashed around their pool. We watched the elephants get scrubbed and laughed when one of them sucked up a trunkful of water and soaked its caretaker.
When we got to the monkey house, I paused, feeling sentimental, and stared through the glass wall at a family of chimpanzees. A few were swinging on ropes, and a small group was huddled together in the corner, picking through each other’s fur.
“We used to come here every Easter.” I smiled at the memory. “The zoo had a big celebration and hid eggs all over the park. Emily and I would put on our new dresses and carry around our little baskets and hunt for them. Then we’d go see the Easter Bunny and have a picture taken.” I paused, but he didn’t say anything. I could feel him watching me.
“Mom loved the monkeys,” I continued. “I remember hating this part of the zoo because she’d spend so much time standing right here, just watching them. I’d get so bored.” I laughed. “‘They’re just a big, happy family,’ she’d tell me. I kind of envy them now.”
After the zoo, we st
rolled over to the North Avenue Beach. Sailboats were scattered across the lake, and seagulls cried as they flew circles overhead. “That’s Lake Michigan,” I said, pointing out to the clear blue water. “Isn’t it pretty?”
“It sure is,” he whispered, though he wasn’t looking at the water.
We walked a ways down the beach, and I led him to the Conservatory and showed him the famous, century-old, rubber tree. “We took a field trip here when I was in elementary school,” I told him. “I had a boyfriend named Zack. While the teacher was telling us about this tree, we snuck over there,” I pointed to a corner, “and hid behind a trashcan.” I smiled when Chris laughed. “That was my first kiss.”
“How romantic,” he said. “So what happened to Zack?”
“I broke up with him.”
“Why?”
“Because Taylor asked me out. He was the cutest boy in our class, and all the girls were in love with him.”
Chris held back a smirk. “I see how you are.”
“You have no idea.” I gave him a mischievous look. “You hungry? There’s a hot dog stand down the way.” It was nearly two, and my stomach was starting to grumble.
“So, what do you think?” I asked after we’d each gotten a foot-long. I was curious to hear his opinion of the park. He’d been rather quiet the entire day.
“It’s pretty good, but it’s hard to screw up a hot dog, isn’t it?” He smiled and winked, knowing full well that he hadn’t answered my question.
After we finished, I led him to our final destination, the Nature Museum. “This,” I explained as we stepped into the Butterfly Haven, “is one of my favorite places on Earth.” Waterfalls flowed from overhead, and bright, fragrant blossoms grew around every corner. Dozens of species of butterflies flew freely about the room.
Chris smiled as he took it in. “This is awesome.” He held up a hand as an iridescent blue-green butterfly landed on his finger.
“Isn’t it?” I leaned in to look. “That’s a Ulysses Butterfly- Papilio Ulysses. They’re native to Australia.”
“Papi…what?”
I giggled. “Papilio is the Latin word for butterfly.”
“Pa-pi-li-o,” he repeated slowly. “That’s kind of cool.” He looked down at his new friend, who was happily perched on his chest. “She must like me.”
Face The Music Page 14