by Golland, KM
Slapping my hand to my chest exaggeratedly, I feigned insult at Lexi’s almost-accurate description. ‘Me ... a Barbie doll? These are real, my friend. AND ... I don’t do drugs. Drugs are bad. I learned that in school,’ I replied while cupping my double D-sized breasts and hoisting them up.
Just as I performed my self-grope, a hot businessman walked through the foyer. Liam and I followed his toned arse as it teased us with its perky deliciousness.
‘You must love your job,’ I said with a jealous tone, my head tilted to one side, hands still cupping my breasts, and eyes still glued to hot businessman’s butt.
‘Uh huh,’ Liam drawled.
‘What room is he in?’ I asked, still fixated on the way his trousers gently caressed the skin under them.
‘Hopefully mine.’
My eyes snapped back to Liam’s. ‘Don’t tell me a hot little sex toy like yourself is single?’
‘Sadly, yes,’ he replied as he broke free of his smut-stare and began to type on his computer keyboard.
‘Really?’ I asked excitedly.
‘Yes,’ he deadpanned.
‘Hmm.’
Liam’s lips pursed, and he raised his eyebrow. ‘What’s “hmm” mean?’
Smiling conceitedly, I assessed my fingernails. ‘It means I have a friend of a friend. How old are you?’
‘Depends, is this friend of a friend decent?’
‘Yes,’ I said with absolute certainty.
He lowered his voice. ‘Is he out? As in “Mum and Dad know I blow guys”?’
I cracked up laughing. ‘Oh, I like you, Liam.’
‘What’s not to like?’ he said with a wink as he handed me a room card.
Poking out my tongue, I snatched the card from his hand. ‘The SpongeBob SquarePants jocks you are probably wearing. Later,’ I said with a wink.
‘Have fun at Lexi’s party, Barbie,’ he called out.
‘’Bye, SpongeBob,’ I said as I waved my hand over my shoulder at him, smiling at the thought of possibly setting him up with Brooke’s — also known as Miss Lewis to her grade one students — room-mate’s brother. Somehow I think they would work.
***
As I stepped into the elevator, I retrieved my phone from my handbag, realising I forgot to remind Libby that she was in charge of feeding Sasha and Rico for the night. Rico, my Mexican walking fish, was king of his tank. I loved him.
Libby answered her phone after two rings. ‘What did you forget?’ she asked in a condescending tone.
Her question offended me. Well, not really. I forgot shit all the time, hence the phone call. ‘You’re feedin’ Sasha and Rico tonight,’ I informed her.
‘Who says I’m gonna be home?’ she replied haughtily.
‘You’ll be home.’
‘Will not.’
‘Will so.’
The line was silent for a moment.
‘Lib, you got a date?’ I asked, teasingly. She so hasn’t. Lib was a couch dweller and a bedroom hermit. She ventured out for shopping and the occasional walk with Sasha. If I was lucky, I’d get her to come dancing with me, which was pretty much never.
‘What if I have?’ she stuttered.
‘I’d tell you to shave and wear sexy underwear. Oh, and don’t go down on him on the first date. It’s unladylike and you, Lib, are a lady.’
‘You’re disgusting,’ she responded, ‘and fine, I’ll be home.’
‘Thanks, love you.’
Making a kiss sound at my phone, I disconnected and smiled at the fact I could read her like a book. I then glanced at the elderly couple standing beside me. Wifey was glaring at me with a contorted face, her expression indicating that I smelled of dog shit. Hubby, on the other hand, clearly thought I rocked, his expression an impressed smile.
‘Blow jobs are for special men,’ I informed them. ‘They need to prove themselves first.’
The elevator dinged and they both exited the cart, wifey shooting out as if she were about to run a race against Usain Bolt. As the doors closed tight again, I let out a giggle. I am so bad. Although I bet hubby gets a bit tonight. That was my good deed done for the day.
***
The elevator cart took me to the thirty-third floor. Nice! I’m staying in a suite on the thirty-third level of City Towers. Lexi, Lexi, Lexi, you really have secured yourself Mr Prince Charming.
Shaking my head, I smiled happily for my best friend. She deserved happiness with Bryce. Although the strange thing was that I — together with everyone else in her life, including Lex herself — believed she was happy with Rick. That’s why, when she told me about his secret affair, I could hardly believe it. Of course, I did believe she was telling me the truth, it was just ... he always seemed to have idolised her.
From the moment they hooked up at our year eleven formal, there was no separating them. It was Lexi and Rick, Rick and Lexi. They were engaged by age twenty-two and married by age twenty-three. She gave birth to Nate at age twenty-six, and Charli three years later. Then, out of the blue, it was finished: the end. Rick had made the biggest mistake of his life and as soon as Alexis informed me of what he’d done I knew he was screwed, even if Lex hadn’t known that for herself. You see, I knew Lex. I knew her better than she knew herself. I also knew that although she was one of the strongest people I had ever come across, there was one thing that could always crack her: betrayal.
The thing about my Lexi was that she bounced back. Talk about bouncing ... she was like Pooh Bear’s pal, Tigger! That girl bounced right into Bryce’s arms and has stayed there ever since, quite happily. Hmm ... Mr Bryce Clark. Now, I know I shouldn’t inwardly salivate at the thought of him, but fuck, it was pretty much impossible not to and I’m sure Lex wouldn’t mind. Actually, I’m certain she wouldn’t mind, because she would then rub it in by telling me that while I fantasised about his hard luscious cock, she was the one who had it in her mouth. I knew this because she had said it ... more than once.
Swiping my card through the slot at the door, I heard it beep then click open. Almost instantly, I was faced with a ceiling-to-floor window which had beige, sheer curtains hanging at either end. The room was huge and looked as though it had never been touched, the linen on the bed ultra-white and crisp. I noticed a card sitting in the centre of the pillows, my name clearly visible on the exterior.
Snatching it up eagerly, I unfolded it and read: Carly, please enjoy your stay. If there is anything at all that you require, press 1 on the in-house phone and ask for Abigail. Help yourself to the minibar, and feel free to order room service. I’ve also arranged for you to use the hotel’s spa if you so desire. Party starts at 7 p.m. See you then. Bryce
Holy fucking shitballs! Free minibar ... sweet!
Skipping and twirling over to the fridge, I opened it up. I loved mini things; mini cheese, miniskirts, and mini people. But most of all, I LOVED mini alcohol.
Reaching in, I grabbed a teeny tiny bottle of vodka and knocked it back while doing a little dance. Then, without hesitation, I dived back in the fridge and retrieved the mini bottle of champagne. Pop! Swigging it from the bottle, I got even more excited when I spotted the mini tube of Pringles. Mini-gasm!
Placing the bottle of champers on the bedside table, I jumped on the bed just as there was a knock at the door. I scooted off the bed and made my way to the door, opening it without even looking.
‘Ms Henkley, your bag,’ the bellboy informed.
‘Thank you,’ I replied, reaching out to take it from him.
Bellboy subtly snatched it back. ‘I’ll just put it in your room for you,’ he politely explained, nodding his head in the direction of the interior of my room. I turned slightly and looked over my shoulder to where he was indicating, thinking it was kind of strange. My bag was not the size of the Titanic — more a gondola — and I was quite capable of carrying it myself.
Before I was able to just accept my bag at the door, the bellboy slid past and placed it down on the wardrobe shelf.
‘Oh,’ I said awkwar
dly, not used to the flamboyance, ‘thanks.’
He smiled genuinely. ‘You’re welcome.’
‘Um ... would you like a tip?’ I went to grab my purse from within my handbag.
He let out a mild laugh. ‘No, I’m just doing my job.’
‘Oh, well, I know your boss. What’s your name? I’ll name-drop you,’ I explained, waggling my eyebrows.
‘That’s not necessary,’ he chuckled. ‘Can I help you with anything else, Ms Henkley?’
Stepping forward, I tilted his name badge up. ‘No. Thank you, Ben. You’re a sweetie.’
He nodded, smiled meekly and exited the room.
Walking back to the bed with a happy swagger, I flopped down on it, grabbed my phone and my mini tube of Pringles then dialled Alexis.
‘I don’t know what to wear,’ she blurted out as soon as the phone call connected. No greeting or words of endearment.
‘Want me to come up and help you pick? I’ve just arrived,’ I offered.
She sighed. ‘Na, it’s okay. I’ll stew on it for a while. And anyway, Mum and Dad will be here shortly. I need to have a chat to them about something before everyone gets here.’
‘Sounds serious,’ I said, mumbling as my Pringle was assassinated by my teeth.
‘Are you going to use the spa?’ she asked, her deliberate attempt to change the subject obvious. ‘Bryce said that he left a note for you, telling you to indulge. You really should. The girls at the spa downstairs are fabulous.’
‘Yeah, I think I might. Do they do waxing? I need to wax. I could currently audition for a part in Gorillas in the Mist.’
Alexis let out a laugh. ‘Yuck! Yes, yes they do. Go and de-fuzz, you dirty bitch. I’ll see you later.’
‘Later. Oh, and tell Bryce to give bellboy-Ben a raise.’
‘Bellboy-Ben?’ she queried.
‘Yes. Later, whore.’
I hung up quickly before she could launch a verbal attack on me. She hated it when I called her a whore, which I had been doing ever since we were sixteen years old. Why? Because I could.
CHAPTER THREE
Covered in a white fluffy robe, I happily floated into my room. I was now fuzz-free, dead-flaky-skin-free and free from any tension after the best massage in history. For the past two and a half hours, I’d been pampered and preened, and if I weren’t already swooning over Bryce, I most definitely was now. Wow! Lexi, you lucky bitch.
Still in my dreamy, satiated condition, I decided to have a shower and then get ready for the night ahead. I planned on having a big night: letting my ash-blonde hair down and celebrating to the fullest extent with Lexi. Well ... technically, I didn’t know how I was going to wear my hair yet. That dire decision required more brainpower than I currently had in my spa-inebriated condition.
I’d chosen my new, dark green, mid-thigh length, one-shoulder cocktail dress, the deep verdant shade highlighting my emerald eyes. I love green. It’s the colour of mint. I also love the taste of mint. Mint toothpaste. Mint gum. Mint sauce. Mm... mint sauce. Still undecided on my hair status, I decided to shoot Lexi a quick text for her advice:
Hair ... up or down? ~ Carls
She replied instantly:
Dress ... long or short? ~ Alexis
What a stupid question? Does she not know me at all? I was just about to type her an insulting reply when another text appeared on my phone:
Sorry, of course it’s short. What was I thinking?
Wear it down & give it a loose curl ~ Alexis
I laughed at her response and, taking back my prior thought, I typed a reply:
This is Y I love U. C U in an hour ~ Carls
I knew she’d respond, because Lexi always had to have the last word and, like clockwork, my phone beeped once more.
More like 2 hours ... if your hair isn’t already done ~ Alexis
Shaking my head in amusement, I continued to play with her. I knew I shouldn’t bait her as it was her birthday after all. But fuck, she was so much fun to taunt.
Whore ~ Carls
Bitch ~ Alexis
Pre-divorcee ~ Carls
Spinster ~ Alexis
Bitch! Smiling, because Lexi gives as good as she gets, I left my goading at that and scrolled through my playlist to find some Gaga, thinking I would ‘Marry the Night’.
Just as I was about to set my phone down, another text message sounded:
I love U ~ Alexis
I chose not to respond, letting her have the last word as always. I am such a good freakin’ friend.
***
As the doors opened to the penthouse floor, I was greeted by someone I could only assume was a member of the hotel’s staff, an usher of some kind.
‘Good evening, ma’am,’ he politely addressed me with a nod of the head. Oh, he’s cute.
I took in his puppy dog, brown eyes. ‘Why, hello there,’ I drawled.
‘Just this way, ma’am ... right through this door.’ He gestured for me to follow him.
‘Please, don’t call me ma’am. That’s for women, post-menopause,’ I said playfully as I nudged him with my shoulder.
He gave away a small half-grin, but remained completely professional, opening the door to the apartment and stepping aside for me to enter.
‘Later,’ I said with a wink, stepping backward through the threshold while keeping my gaze on his puppy dog eyes. ‘I’ll save you a drink.’
He nodded once more, although I sensed it was more of an acknowledgement, rather than an acceptance, of my invitation. I inwardly giggled, then turned around to spot Lexi in Bryce’s arms, both of them standing in the middle of what could only be described as a palace. The place was huge, the decor contemporary: white, navy, and silver furnishings.
‘Well, fu—’
I just was about to finish my sentence using my favourite bomb of vocabulary when I noticed Nate and Charli out of the corner of my eye, ‘— out,’ I quickly offered, displaying my best ‘oops’ face to Alexis and hoping my quick exchange covered my initial slip. ‘Far out, far freakin’ out. This place is incredible.’
Lexi walked up to me and enveloped me in hug. ‘Hey, Carls.’
‘This place is amazeballs, Lexi!’ I murmured, continuing to examine the extravagance over her shoulder.
She shook her head which made me smile. I knew how much she loved my lingo.
‘Yeah, it’s not a bad little place to live, eh?’ she said with a shy smile.
‘Pfft, yeah, you could say that,’ I replied, then held her at arm’s-length to get a better look after not having seen her for months.
Looking intently into her eyes, I instantly picked up on something she was withholding. She could never get away with lying to me. Even when we were young, when she’d sworn black and blue that she hadn’t arranged a wedding for me and Kyle Payne. Granted, we were ten years old at the time.
I recalled the altercation. ‘Alexis,’ my ten-year-old self had said, with my blushing-red cheeks. ‘Kyle Payne-in-the-butt just said that he and I are getting married tomorrow. He said that he will make me very happy. Do you know anything about this?’
Now, before I continue with this story, let me clue you in on something. The first sign that Alexis is lying is that she tilts her head to the side very slightly. If you are not looking for this particular movement, you’ll miss it. The next sign is the avoid-eye-contact-at-all-costs trick, followed by a pause as her mind quickly conjures up her lame excuse. I remember that when I’d asked her about my pending nuptials with Kyle, she’d performed these telltale signs just beautifully. She’d said, ‘What?’, followed by the head tilt and a piercing stare toward something beyond my head. Next was the pause and finally, the lie: ‘No. I don’t know anything about it. It was probably Hannah.’ Busted! Liar!
Knowing that she would eventually give her current secret away, I smiled at her. ‘You look amazing. Shacking up with a rich studmuffin does wonders for you. Speaking of the sexy studmuffin, I need to formally thank him for his hospitality.’
I
gently placed my hands on her shoulders and moved her aside, clearing a path to Bryce. He gave me one of those killer smirks that Alexis was always telling me about. I could definitely see what the fuss was over — his smirk warmed my Carly-cave.
‘As long as you only thank him, Carls. That studmuffin belongs to me,’ Lexi said in a firm but loving voice.
‘Not until there’s an engagement ring on your finger,’ I replied smugly. That’s it! That’s her secret. ‘Wait!’ I turned back to face her. ‘Show me your hand. Is that why you are looking so good?’
She rolled her eyes at me. ‘No! There is no engagement ring on my finger.’
‘There will be soon,’ Bryce confidently stated.
Alexis froze and gave him a did-you-just-say-that look. He just smirked his smirky goodness in response. I smiled at them then continued toward Bryce, wrapping my arms around him. ‘Thank you,’ I said, seizing the opportunity to feel him up by squeezing his biceps.
‘You’re welcome, Carly,’ he replied with a deep chuckle. God, this man is sexy.
Pouting, I reluctantly let him go and made my way back to where Lexi was standing. ‘So! Lexi, the soon-to-be bigamist,’ I stated, deliberately baiting her.
‘I am not a fucking soon-to-be bigamist,’ she snapped back at me.
‘Mum!’ Charlotte exclaimed, waltzing toward us and looking like a beautiful princess in her pink chiffon dress. ‘You just f-bombed. You know the rules, now I get to bomb you.’
‘Um, I know, Charlotte,’ Lexi replied, with a quiver to her voice, ‘but you can’t bomb me. Not now.’ Oh, she is so definitely hiding something from me.
‘A rule is a rule, Mum,’ Charlotte categorically declared, placing her hands upon her hips for emphasis.
I tended to agree.
‘Charli, you can’t,’ Alexis ground out through her teeth, exaggerating the can’t bit. ‘You could hurt me. You don’t want to hurt me, do you?’ Whaaa—? This is hilarious. Kudos to Charli for riling up her mum like this. Normally it’s me doin’ the riling.