by N. P. Martin
I wanted so much to disagree with him, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he had a point. My mother did spend most of her time with me when she was home. She didn’t ignore Josh exactly, but looking back, I don’t think she had the same depth of feeling for him as she did me. I always assumed it was because I was a girl, and that perhaps we had more in common or something, I don’t know. I was just a kid at the time, for Christ’s sake, what did I know?
"I’m sorry, Josh." I didn’t know what else to say to him, but I did also know that Mum wasn't here to defend or quantify these beliefs in person, and nor was Dad either. I did know, however, that regardless of the accuracies of whatever thoughts and beliefs that had been used to convert Josh as a “believer”, that they'd have been escalated and exaggerated to the point where perhaps only grains of truth existed. The Josh I knew would not punish me for what he disliked in our parents. But then, this wasn’t the Josh I knew, was it?
He snorted derisively. "Don’t be. I don’t need your or anyone else’s pity. The fact is, Leia—and this is what I’ve been trying to tell you, but you just won’t fucking listen—Mom sensed that I was different, that I wasn’t as pure or virtuous as her darling little girl. She fucking deserves to be in Hell right now!"
"You don’t mean that."
"Bullshit I don’t!" His neck stuck out in anger as he came forward, and it was all I could do not to move back in fear. "She fucking disowned me because of who I was…who I am!"
I swallowed before speaking, my grace going crazy inside me, altering me to the darkness before me, even if my mind refused to see it. "And who are you, Josh?" I practically whispered.
Josh stepped right up to me and suddenly brought the tip of one finger up under my chin, his long, sharp claw pressing into my skin hard enough to draw blood. His eyes were full black again as he spoke in a voice that I hardly recognized. "I am the darkness, Leia. I am the thing that holds the most power in this world. I am the thing that will eventually consume this world, and whatever light you think you have in you, whatever virtue, it won’t be enough to stop me."
As I stared defiantly back at him, his eyes returned to normal as he took a step back and smiled. "You’re on the wrong side, Leia. Come with me now, and I’ll introduce you to power that you could only dream of; power that makes that angel piss flowing through you right now look weak by comparison."
As if to demonstrate this power he spoke off, he turned slightly and faced the nearest tree. Then he outstretched his hand and seemed to concentrate for a moment until the tree suddenly made a loud cracking sound, as if the trunk had broke in half, which it almost had. His face strained as he focused more intently, his arm straining as he continued to direct his dark power at the tree. A few seconds later, the entire middle section of the tree trunk seemed to explode under a great pressure, and what was left of the tree toppled back into the forest, crashing down to the ground with a loud thump. Josh then dropped his arm, turned to me and smiled. "You see, Sis? That’s just a fraction of what you’ll be up against if you continue to side with Watcher scum. Make no mistake, we will crush every last one of you until there are none of you left." He held his hand out toward me. "You can save yourself, Leia. Just come with me now, and we can stay together, as we we’re always meant to."
I could only stand and stare as my face twisted up with the multitude of emotions running through me. My grace was also going crazy inside me, almost demanding that I attack Josh immediately, or at least run the hell away from him. But my emotions had frozen me to the spot as I wondered what to do next. On the one hand, there was a demon standing before me; an enemy that must be attacked. On the other hand, it was Josh, my twin brother, and I just didn’t think I had it in me to hurt him, even if he had hurt me in so many different ways just now.
My head started shaking before I even knew what I was going to say. Despite my inner conflict, it felt like there was only one thing I could say to him.
"No."
The word hung in the air between us for an extended moment. Then Josh let his hand drop as he stared hard at me, before finally nodding. "I can’t say I’m surprised, Leia."
"I don’t care what you say, Josh," I said. "You have some demon’s blood running through you, and it’s poisoning your soul as it fills you with darkness." I swallowed hard before I said the next part. "I’m not going to give up on you, Josh. You’re my brother, and I love you."
For just a split second, his eyes seemed to soften, and in that split second, I caught a glimpse of the old Josh. The real Josh, not this demonized lackey standing in front of me, who was nothing more than an extension of Abigor’s twisted, evil intent. An evil which felt anathema to me. An evil that had to be fought at all costs.
"Well, I tried," Josh said as he walked several feet away before turning to face me. "You made your choice, Leia. Now you’ll suffer with the rest. And by the way, you can keep the car. I don’t need it anymore."
Then he just disappeared, as if he was never there to begin with.
I could only stand shaking my head as I wondered where the hell he went. "What the actual fuck?" I breathed as I looked around in every direction, soon realizing I was alone again. "He just fucking…teleported."
I had read about teleportation in several of Frank’s books. It was largely the preserve of older demons, magical adepts and even some Nephilim, though it was much rarer in the latter case. I could only assume that Abigor had granted Josh the power to do it. Which scared me slightly, because it meant Josh could theoretically appear beside me at any time, and I wouldn’t see him coming. Given my brother’s new cold, dark behavior, I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk having him near me again, at least not until I had the means to save him.
My mind filled with doubt as to whether the demon blood was all to blame for Josh’s sudden turn toward the darkness. If I was being honest with myself, I would have to admit that my brother always had a certain dark bent, right from when we were kids. I just didn’t notice it as much because he was usually so caring and protective of me. It always seemed like he looked up to me in a way, and I assumed this was because I had the honor of being the older sibling by a mere few minutes. Now I see that perhaps he wasn’t so much looking up at me, but maybe more looking at me, with envy or jealously, simply because our mother gave me more attention than him. But if I was my mother’s favorite, Josh was my father’s favorite. I always knew this, but I thought nothing of it because Josh was a boy and I thought that was why my father doted on him so much. I’d just thought it was a natural thing for parents to do. It didn’t mean they loved either of us any less. Though clearly, in Josh’s eyes, it meant our mother loved him less than me, which obviously caused resentment to grow in him like cancer, making it easier for the darkness to attach itself to him. Or perhaps, the darkness was already attached to him before he was even born. At that point, anything was possible in my mind.
He never felt bad about hurting people either. Being foster kids, Josh and I ended up in numerous physical confrontations, both with other kids, and with some of the foster parents we were sent to. Josh learned early on that he was good at fighting, and he never backed down from a fight. Ever. I always thought he was just keen to protect either me or himself. Now, it seemed clear that Josh fought because he enjoyed it, and because he enjoyed physically hurting other people.
All of this was running through my mind as I turned and looked down at Kasey’s grave. "Oh Kasey," I said as my eyes filled with tears. "Maybe you were right to be afraid of Josh. Maybe you should’ve been afraid of me too. Then you might still be alive."
I had to force myself to turn away from her grave. No matter how I was feeling, I didn’t think it safe to be standing around outside. Retrieving my Watcher Knife, I began to walk toward the cabin, looking around me as I did so, trying to sense if there was anyone else around. There didn’t appear to be as I stepped inside and walked into my bedroom. My phone was on charge on the bedside table, and I went and unplugged it. Then I rang Frank’
s number, cursing when it went to voicemail. Despite being inside the cabin, I still didn’t feel particularly safe. More than that, I felt lost and alone, and suddenly very isolated all the way up in the mountains.
I tried Frank’s number again, hoping to hear him say that he would be back soon, but once again the call went straight to voicemail.
I sat on the bed for a moment, agitated and slightly afraid. "I can’t just fucking sit around here," I said.
Standing up, I shoved my phone into the back pocket of my dark jeans, then I grabbed a leather jacket from out of the double wardrobe. I also grabbed the Glock 19 that was sitting on the bedside table, keeping it in my hand as I walked out of the bedroom, and then out of the cabin to the Mustang sitting outside. The keys were in the ignition.
I threw the Glock on the front seat, and then drove off, spinning gravel behind me.
25
When I got to the bottom of the mountain road, I paused for a moment as I looked left and right, wondering which way to go on the main road. To the right led directly to the city; to the left…I wasn’t even sure as I’d never gone that far before.
"Fuck it."
I turned left, not really caring where the road would take me. All I wanted to do was drive. At least if I was on the move, I would be safe. That’s what I told myself anyway, as I sped down the empty road, headlights cutting through the darkness in front of me. The road was full of winding bends, and I soon settled into a sort of daze as I negotiated each one on autopilot.
As the road in front of me began to straighten out, taking me past a huge lake whose surface gleamed in the moonlight, I began to consider if it was even possible to save Josh at all. He was much more powerful than me, or any other Nephilim I’d met (admittedly, that wasn’t many), so there would be no chance of overpowering him, I wouldn’t think anyway.
Then a horrible thought occurred to me, one that made me sick to my stomach.
What if I have to kill him? What if he kills me?
A fight to the death with my own brother didn’t bear thinking about. Yet after tonight, it didn’t seem beyond the realm of possibility, especially given how far gone he was.
How far gone I am as well.
Yes, let’s not forget that. I was as deep down the rabbit hole as Josh was, just in the opposite warren. As Josh veered recklessly toward the darkness, I stumbled further toward the light. Although, it didn’t feel anywhere near as virtuous as it sounded. I may have been a conduit for light and so-called 'good', but I was carrying enough of my own darkness with me, not to mention creating more as I went it seemed.
As I was driving along at a steady 60mph, something behind me on the road drew my attention. At first, it was just a feeling that made me look into the rearview mirror, a feeling that manifested as a tingling sensation in my belly, and on the heckles of my neck. This feeling was soon followed by a sudden burst of adrenaline, and a corresponding release of grace into my system that made me sit bolt upright in my seat. I knew instantly what all those sensations meant.
There was a demon in my midst.
Sure enough, after staring into the mirror for a few seconds, I gradually made out a dark shape a few car lengths behind. Whatever the shape was, it was flying through the air at speed, and gaining on my still current 60mph.
"What the fuck is this now…can’t a girl catch a break for once?" I said as I pressed harder on the accelerator, hoping to outrun whatever thing was flying behind me. But after accelerating to nearly 80mph, the dark shape maintained its distance.
Jesus, how fast can it go?
Very fast, it seemed. Fast enough to gain on me, coming right up behind the car. For the first time, I was able to make out a face; a face that was partially human, but with large sunken eyes, in which two baleful red orbs glowed. I also saw thin lips peeled back over uneven, pointed teeth. That was all I saw before the demon—which I now knew without any doubt that it was—suddenly vanished from sight.
This has to be a member of Josh’s new gang, I thought. Josh did say they would be coming for me after all.
"Where are you, you bastard?" I said as I looked out both sides of the car, and then at the rearview mirror again. For a moment, I thought it’d had gone. But then there was a loud thudding sound on the roof of the car, as if something heavy had landed there.
"Shit!"
I didn’t know what else to do except keep driving, figuring if I stopped, then the demon would have a better chance of getting me. My confidence as a Watcher had grown of late, but I still wasn’t confident enough to take a demon on by myself. Especially not a flying one.
The demon’s claws scraped across the roof, making screeching sounds as its claws dug into the metal. In something of a panic, I quickly grabbed the Glock from the front seat and held it in my left hand.
Maybe I should shoot through the roof.
I shook my head. It would be just my luck that a bullet would ricochet and hit me. I didn’t fancy deafening myself with the noise inside in the car either.
Coming up to a bend in the road, the demon decided to show itself by crawling forward and looking through the windshield at me, its grotesque face hanging upside down as its red eyes glared at me. Instinctively, I raised the gun and pointed it at the demon as if I was going to shoot it in the face. "Fuck you!" I shouted, refusing to give the demon the look of fear it no doubt expected from me.
The road began to straighten out again, and I pressed harder on the accelerator as the demon continued to hang from the roof, its face pressed against the glass in front of me, partially obscuring my view.
Son of a bitch, I thought. Does it want me to crash?
Evidently, it did, for it brought its bat-like, leathery black wings forward to cover most of the windshield, blacking out the inside of the car. My foot automatically went to the brake, but something stopped me from pressing on the pedal. I don’t know if it was my grace now controlling my actions or what, but in a counter-intuitive move, I gave the car more gas and increased my speed, even though I couldn’t see where I was going. The only thing I knew was that the road seemed to continue on straight for quite a distance. As long as I kept the wheel steady, the car should stay on the road.
Hopefully.
It was nerve wracking as the car built up more speed. I kept expecting to crash into something any second, but somehow I managed to keep the car on the road.
The demon continued to stare in at me, a twisted smile on its face, as if it knew it had me.
I don’t think so motherfucker, I thought, a look of grim determination on my face as I suddenly slammed on the brakes. My whole body flew forward as the seatbelt tightened around me, and the tires screeched on the asphalt as the car went into a skid I fought hard to control. The demon was still clinging to the roof while the car continued to snake back and forth across the road, and I prayed that there wouldn’t be any other cars coming from the opposite direction, which would surely result in a head on collision.
The demon could only hold on for so long, though. After a few seconds, it lost its grip and went flying off the car, landing several feet in front before tumbling across the asphalt. A second later, I was finally able to bring the car to a complete stop. Just as well, because I had been heading for the barrier by the side of the road, and then a considerable drop at the other side.
I sat for a second to catch my breath, then I looked out the window at the demon lying in the middle of the road. One of its large wings appeared to be sticking up at an odd angle as it struggled to get its feet.
Without hesitation, I slammed the car into reverse, going back fifty yards or so before stopping and changing gears. The demon was almost to its feet as I went speeding toward it, my teeth gritted as I made a snarling sound in my throat.
The edge of the car caught the demon just as it tried to jump out of the way, spinning it around and sending it flying off to the left. I didn’t stop, but as I looked into the rearview mirror, I was in time to see the demon go tumbling over the crash barrier, a
nd then over the side of the ledge into the darkness below.
"Yeah!" I said, slamming the steering wheel, and then looking over my shoulder. "Fuck you! Fuck you!"
Adrenaline was coursing through me as I continued to drive away at speed. For the next few minutes, I kept looking into the rearview mirror, and out both sides of the car, expecting to see the demon emerge from the darkness once more. But pretty soon, it became evident that the demon wasn’t coming back.
It took me another twenty minutes of driving before I was finally able to calm myself down. My hands still shook a little from the adrenaline, but otherwise, I felt okay. Hell, I felt better than okay. I felt fucking great, if I’m being honest. Jesus, I had just taken down a flying fucking demon. I ran the bastard off the road!
Despite everything, there was a smile on my face. "If you could only see me now, Mom," I said.
26
It turned out the road I was on circled around the great lake into the city. I drove slowly through the city streets, thinking about driving back to the cabin, but I didn’t feel like going back yet. What I really felt like was escaping from everything for a while, to try to forget about the fact that my life now seemed to be constantly in danger, and the myriad other worries I had incessantly bouncing around inside my head. I thought stopping off at a bar for an hour or two might be enough to satisfy my urge for escape. Before my life was turned upside down—for the second time, that is—and I was running around with Kasey, I simply would’ve scored some Oxy and washed the pills down with a bottle of vodka. That was usually enough to substantially bend my reality, so that it felt like I wasn’t in my normal life anymore—or my normal headspace. I would be fucking out of it, in other words. Although now I had to wonder if it would even be possible for me to reach those heights of intoxication anymore, giving all the changes that had taken place in my body of late. One thing was for sure, though, I intended to put it to the test when the current disaster was over…if I was still around to do so.