‘You’ve got the job, Heather.’ Dizzy was in control again now, at least, on the surface. ‘No need to overdo it,’ she chided self-derisively.
Their laughter served to ease the awkwardness when Jim and Heather had come into the room, the other couple taking their leave a few minutes later.
‘Just tell me,’ Dizzy turned back to Christi once they were alone, ‘did Zach get really angry and tell you you would have to wait for your money, or did he keep to his initial decision to let you have it when you’re twenty-one?’ She held her breath as she waited for the answer, knowing there was no chance of Zach ever forgiving her for her part in this if he had decided to make Christi wait until she was twenty-five.
‘He was angry, wasn’t he?’ Christi grimaced expressively. ‘When he came back to the castle after talking to you, I thought he was going to—’
‘Christi!’
‘Sorry,’ her friend sighed at her unmistakable tension. ‘Well, he—’ She broke off as the telephone began to ring.
Dizzy scowled at the interruption. ‘It’s like Picccadilly Circus in here this morning!’ She glared, grabbing the receiver and barking a response into the mouth-piece.
Whatever she had been expecting—if she had been expecting anything—it wasn’t what her friend and agent, Dick Crosby, was telling her!
‘Claudia Laurence has asked for you to do her next cover,’ Dick announced triumphantly.
Was this the way it worked: fate took away one dream and replaced it with another? She had lost Zach, but she could have the Claudia Laurence cover instead? Given a free choice, there was no way she would have chosen to have it that way around.
‘Dizzy, I said you’ve got it.’ Dick sounded puzzled at her silence. ‘The new Claudia Laurence cover is yours!’
She had heard him the first time, and she had thought that if this day ever came it would be the happiest time of her life, illustrating for her favourite author having been what she had always considered the pinnacle of her career. Now it didn’t seem important at all, nothing did.
‘Dizzy—’
She heard no more as the receiver was gently taken out of her hand and Christi took control of her end of the conversation, after identifying herself.
However, Christi seemed as stunned by the news as Dizzy was! ‘What did you say?’ she demanded sharply, her hand tightly gripping the receiver. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered as Dick obviously made it clear he didn’t welcome that sort of reaction from her, too! ‘They did? She did?’ Her eyes lit up excitedly as Dick related the details.
Dizzy turned away. This was what she had always wanted, what she had dreamt of, but loving Zach, losing him, had taken away her pleasure in anything, even something that had once been as important to her as this.
Was this what her life was going to be like from now on, this flat, nothingness existence, where nothing really mattered any more? How could she stand it? She didn’t have any other choice but to stand it, unless she went to Zach and begged him to listen to her, to believe her.
Was she really that desperate? Yes, she was! Could she do something like that? Not yet, she recognised sadly. Maybe in a few days, when the initial heartache had eased to a dull throb instead of this tearing ache inside her, maybe then she would be able to accept it if Zach still rejected her, even after she had convinced him she really did love him.
While she had been asking herself questions, and then answering them, Christi had been involved in an excited conversation with Dick. ‘She’ll be there,’ she concluded firmly before ringing off.
Dizzy frowned. ‘I take it that was me you were talking about?’ she derided wryly.
‘It most certainly was,’ Christi nodded, her air of suppressed excitement unmistakable.
‘And just where will I be?’ she mocked drily.
‘Empire Publishing,’ her friend supplied economically. ‘This afternoon. Two o’clock.’
‘Don’t you think you should have consulted me before— This afternoon?’ she echoed disbelievingly. ‘At two o’clock?’ she repeated, with even more disbelief. ‘But that’s only just over an hour away,’ she protested after glancing at the wall-clock.
Christi nodded. ‘Which is why you have to get ready and go now. You can’t wear jeans, of course, so—’
‘Christi, I’m not in the mood to go and see a publisher this afternoon!’ she groaned emotionally.
‘Not the publisher.’ Christi had already walked through to Dizzy’s bedroom and was sorting through the meagre contents of her wardrobe, obviously finding nothing there that suited her. ‘Although I suppose he’ll be there,’ she dismissed vaguely, holding up a green suit against Dizzy for inspection, then shaking her head with a horrified groan, both of them recognising the suit as the one Dizzy had left school in three years earlier. ‘You’re going to meet the author herself, Dizzy.’ She resumed looking in the wardrobe, sighing as the only thing left that she hadn’t already rejected was a pale green sun-dress that wasn’t really suitable for visiting a publisher and his famous author in either. ‘It will have to do, I suppose.’ She pulled it out resignedly. ‘It probably makes you look about sixteen, but …’ She didn’t need to finish the sentence, her disgust was obvious. ‘I’d lend you this dress and jacket, but it would probably reach down to your ankles—’
‘Besides having to be split in the bodice to accommodate another part of my anatomy,’ Dizzy drawled.
‘Hmm.’ Christi looked at the part of Dizzy’s anatomy in question as she obediently buttoned on the sun-dress after stripping off her denims and T-shirt. ‘Maybe you don’t look sixteen, after all!’ she admired, as the dress left no doubt as to the full curve of Dizzy’s breasts.
‘Christi.’ She halted her friend in the act of un-plaiting her hair so that she could brush it loose about her shoulders. ‘Much as I appreciate your help,’ she mocked lightly, ‘I’m really not in the mood to see an author this afternoon, either.’
‘It’s not just “an author”, Dizzy,’ her friend reproved in a shocked voice. ‘It’s Claudia Laurence!’
She sighed. ‘I’m not in the mood to meet her, either.’
Christi stared at her as if she had gone insane, giving a sudden shake of her head. ‘Of course you are,’ she decided briskly. ‘Do you have any sandals to go with this dress—’
‘Christi, I really don’t want to go,’ she said wearily.
‘Well, you’re going,’ her friend decided stubbornly. ‘Claudia Laurence asked for you personally.’
‘And it’s very nice,’ Dizzy nodded. ‘But not this afternoon, hmm?’
‘Most definitely this afternoon,’ Christi told her firmly. ‘Apparently, your Miss Laurence is something of a recluse, and she’s only up to town this afternoon before going back to her home.’
‘I never knew that,’ Dizzy frowned. ‘I knew she didn’t like publicity, but I never realised she actively avoided it.’
‘According to Dick, you’re very privileged,’ her friend confirmed. ‘Oh, come on, Dizzy,’ she encouraged as she still hesitated. ‘You’re not doing any good just sitting around here, moping!’
Was that was she was doing? Yes, it was. She was also asking herself a lot of questions she didn’t like the answers to!
‘All right.’ She gave in with a deep sigh. ‘And the sandals are at the back of the wardrobe,’ she added in answer to Christi’s earlier question to avoid having Christi tell her she was doing the right thing by getting on with her life. She knew she was doing the right thing, but that didn’t make it any easier!
Christi looked down at the darkness at the bottom of the cupboard, pulling out the pair of black sandals that stood next to a pair of disreputable sneakers. ‘I’m not surprised I missed seeing them among all your other shoes,’ she derided disgustedly.
Dizzy couldn’t help laughing at her friend’s horrified expression; Christi possessed suitable shoes, in almost every available colour there was. It felt good to laugh, even if it was about something as silly as her own lack of shoe
s. What did she need dozens of pairs of shoes for? She could only wear one pair at a time!
Christi didn’t quite seem to have forgiven her as she accompanied her in the taxi to Empire Publishing, although she was somewhat mollified by the fact that Dizzy had let her loosen her hair after all. Not that she thought David Kendrick would be that impressed by her appearance; the previous half-dozen times she had met the dynamic young publisher she had been wearing her customary jeans and T-shirt! However, she didn’t tell Christi that; in her place, her friend would have lost no opportunity to try and romantically interest the multimillionaire, and would be horrified that Dizzy had so blatantly thrown away the chance. She hadn’t seen it that way herself at the time, but had merely seen it as being herself.
But owning up to being herself didn’t seem to have got her very far with the man she did love, so she doubted this transformation would interest David in the least, either. Still, it had kept Christi happy, and as her friend was having to come back to the studio this evening, so that they could finish their earlier conversation, that wasn’t a bad thing. An uncooperative Christi could be very uncomfortable indeed.
‘I’ll come back to the studio about eight,’ Christi confirmed as she stayed in the taxi after Dizzy had got out at the Empire Publishing building. ‘Good luck,’ she called out as Dizzy entered the building.
She turned to give her a vaguely reassuring smile, giving herself a pep-talk as she was shown up to David’s office. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for, she mustn’t ruin it all now just because her heart was breaking. Just because? Good God, she had never known such unbearable pain before.
‘Go right in,’ David’s secretary told her smilingly as soon as she entered the outer office. ‘He’s expecting you.’
Empire Publishing had been started by David only ten years ago, but in that time it had grown to challenge all the more established publishing houses, mainly, Dizzy knew, because of the unshakable enthusiasm and instincts of its creator, David Kendrick. He was that unusual thing today, a youthful entrepreneur who seemed to make a success of everything he did. And he fired those around him with the same enthusiasm. Dizzy wasn’t at all surprised when Claudia Laurence had begun to be published by him five years ago, the partnership launching both parties into the higher echelon of their professions.
This was her own opportunity to be touched by their magic and, for this brief time at least, she had to put Zach out of her mind.
Which wasn’t all that easy to do, when the first person she saw as she opened the office door was Zachariah Bennett, standing in front of the window, the sunshine turning his hair to gold!
She blinked, sure that when she opened her eyes it would be David standing there, dark-haired David with the deep blue eyes, not the golden-haired Greek god who haunted her every moment.
Zach was still standing there when she opened her eyes, the same Zach who made her body quiver and her heart beat erratically, and yet not the same Zach at all. Gone was the absent-minded professor with his ill-fitting clothes and endearing ways, and in his place was a man who wore the expensively tailored brown suit and cream shirt with an elegance that left no doubt as to his virility. His hair was shorter, too, and had been styled so that it fell enchantingly across his forehead, drawing attention to the golden eyes that she had always guessed had no necessity of the heavy-rimmed glasses he had so easily discarded today.
She wasn’t sure she was at all comfortable with this new Zach!
But what was he doing here at all? She had come here to see David Kendrick, this was his office, and yet she and Zach were alone. She didn’t understand this at all. And there was nothing to be gained from looking at Zach, for his expression was enigmatic in the extreme.
She shifted uncomfortably. ‘I think there must have been some sort of mistake—’
‘No mistake, Dizzy,’ he spoke huskily, crossing the room to close the door behind her, stepping back to look down at her.
There was complete silence in the room, and the office was so high up the building that all Dizzy could see out of the window was sky; it was as if she and Zach were suddenly completely alone in the world, not a sound penetrating the room.
‘I came to see David Kendrick,’ she began awkwardly, wondering if, somewhere between getting out of the taxi downstairs and arriving up here, she could have gone insane. What other explanation could there be for Zach being in David Kendrick’s office?
‘He told me you were coming to see Claudia Laurence.’ Zach gazed down at her intently.
Dizzy avoided direct contact with that glance, knowing she would go insane if she should actually lose herself in that honey-brown. ‘What are you doing here, Zach?’ she asked flatly.
‘I wanted to talk to you—’
Her eyes blazed as she looked up at him. ‘Wouldn’t it have been easier coming to my studio—which I’m sure Christi must have told you about—than setting up this elaborate charade?’ She drew in a steadying breath as her voice rose emotionally. ‘Isn’t it enough that I know how contemptuous you are of me?’ she spoke levelly. ‘Are you so angry about what Christi and I did to you that you want to discredit me in the only world I’m comfortable in?’ She looked at him with pained disbelief.
The fact that there was no Claudia Laurence cover after all didn’t bother her, but that Zach disliked her enough to go to this extreme did!
‘David Kendrick is a friend of mine,’ Zach told her gently. ‘This “charade”, as you call it, will go no further than this room. And I’m not angry with you, Dizzy. I’m not sure anger was ever the way to describe how I felt when you told me the truth about yourself yesterday,’ he added heavily.
‘Then maybe it was what Christi told you about me after I left,’ she dismissed contemptuously, hardly able to believe he was capable of such vindictiveness. And yet he was here, wasn’t he?
‘Christi told me nothing—’
‘I can’t believe that,’ she derided scornfully.
Zach gave a heavy sigh. ‘No, perhaps that isn’t true,’ he conceded. ‘She did tell me one thing about you. That you have your own reasons for keeping your relationship with Martin Ellington-James and Valerie Sherman secret,’ he supplied at her sceptical look. ‘And that those reasons had nothing whatsoever to do with the subterfuge she persuaded you to enter into with her.’
‘I can’t believe that’s all she told you about me.’ Dizzy shook her head.
‘Christi is completely loyal to you, Dizzy,’ Zach assured her gently. ‘And she assured me your numerous friends, and six godchildren, felt the same way,’ he said drily. ‘I think at the time I must have still been giving the impression that I would like to put you over my knee and administer the sound beating you obviously missed out on as a child.’
Tears instantly filled her eyes. ‘There are other ways to punish a child besides physical violence.’
He frowned, his breath harsh. ‘And I want you to tell me all of them,’ he urged softly. ‘But not before I’ve told you a few things about myself that might make you feel more like confiding in me,’ he added ruefully as she tensed.
Dizzy faced him defensively. ‘I doubt there is anything you have to say that would make me feel like that.’
His mouth twisted. ‘I know I deserve that, that I should have had more faith in you. But, if it’s any consolation, I knew before I had finished sorting things out with Christi that I had been wrong to flare up at you the way I did.’
‘Because Christi had explained all the misunderstandings to you—’
‘I told you, she told me nothing,’ he cut in firmly. ‘She reminded me that we all have secrets we find it difficult to confide in other people,’ he said flatly.
‘Not you.’ Dizzy shook her head with certainty.
He gave a deep sigh. ‘Especially me,’ he grimaced.
Her expression softened. ‘If you’re talking about your fiancée, and the fact that she died eleven years ago, Christi has already told me about that.’ She gave an apologetic
shrug.
‘Obviously,’ Zach drawled. ‘But I don’t find it difficult to talk about Julie at all.’ He shook his head. ‘As you said, it was eleven years ago, and although I loved her very much I can’t bring her back. My life has gone on, Dizzy,’ he spoke softly. ‘Progressed. Julie and I perhaps wouldn’t have anything in common if we were to meet again now. Not like you and I do,’ he added huskily, his gaze gently caressing.
They had nothing in common! Her childhood had emotionally scarred her; the way she lived, her deliberate lack of a place to call home, were a direct result of those scars. Zach had his life all mapped out for him, had a castle for a home, that he obviously loved very much. He was a staid and settled professor—although she had to admit he looked a little less so today, looked younger, too—while she lived like a bohemian. How on earth could he claim they had anything in common!
‘Dizzy.’ Zach’s voice was compelling, demanding she look up at him, his expression softly caressing when she finally did so. ‘Dizzy, I’m Claudia Laurence.’
CHAPTER TEN
DIZZY blinked, and blinked again, but he still stood there, looking down at her with rueful apology.
She swallowed hard. ‘You—you’re—’
‘Claudia Laurence,’ he repeated heavily. ‘Come and sit down,’ he took hold of her arm and led her docilely over to the sofa, ‘before you fall down!’ he added drily, as she still gazed up at him disbelievingly.
She did sit down, heavily, staring up at him. ‘Won’t—’ She cleared her throat as her voice came out a croaky squeak. ‘Won’t David be wanting his office back?’ she finally managed to ask.
Zach shook his head, sitting down beside her, taking her hand in his. ‘He told me to take as long as I like to try and sort out the mess I’ve made of things between us,’ he encouraged gently.
‘Us?’ Dizzy echoed, half fearfully—but oh, so hopefully!
His other hand moved up to caress one of her cheeks in gentle wonder. ‘I love you, Dizzy James—’
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