by Robyn Carr
"Your lordship is firmly accepted here, sir. As to my proposal: more goods, more ships, more land..."
"If you’re looking to buy into the shipping, lad, I gave my promise to your father before he died that if a new life had to be started, our families would unite whenever there was need. I can give you a decent figure."
"I have letters of marque from His Majesty and my ships are available to England for her wars, but I am free to operate my trade as I will. I would gladly align my vessels with yours, but I don’t wish to buy into the family. I plan to build here, close enough to your family to be a part of it."
"Sounds to me as if you are looking for adoption, not partnership."
"In a manner, sir. Your daughter." He chose his words carefully. "I think she is the perfect woman to stand at my side as my wife."
Wesley Tilden cleared his throat and moved around to the opposite side of the desk; this was a friendship turned business. He admired and respected young Seavers, but Alicia fought him the harder the more he tried to help her. Something greater than caution possessed him.
"You love her?"
Geoffrey looked down and shuffled his feet, feeling no older than fourteen. "Aye," he said.
"How do you know?" Wesley insisted.
"I know," Geoffrey insisted, not looking up at the older man. "I have loved her for a very long time."
"I wouldn’t consider less than a fortnight a very long time, son. Not under the best of circumstances. And from what I may judge, my daughter has not glanced your—"
"Sir, I admit that I was well acquainted with Alicia in London, the details of our—ah—friendship are rather—that is, very hard to explain."
What Geoffrey faced now was certainly an angry scowl.
"If you will try, I’m certain you can do some explaining."
Geoffrey rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, then turned and meandered about the small room. "My lord," he attempted, "I—ah, damn, this is difficult. I truly cannot divulge the details, but I can assure you that while I was acquainted with Alicia in London, I treated her with the utmost respect and caution. If you ask Preston to bear this out, he will attest. If you can trust me for a while longer, I must see some personal matters settled before I can confide the intimate details of what I feel for your daughter."
Geoffrey looked at the glowering man’s suspicious eyes and flinched slightly.
"My lord, I have, all my life, been truthful with you. I know your wish to protect your daughter is paramount, but I assure you, my intention is the same. I love her. And I believe she loves me, though it is certain she will fight me.
"And why, Lord Seavers, will Alicia fight you?" Wesley asked very slowly.
Geoffrey took a breath, bolstering himself. "Because, my lord, I was not gentle with her feelings. War was calling, my ships were leaving port, and I treated her ill. I was not there when she needed me. It is difficult for her to let me make things right."
Wesley’s expression did not soften. However much he admired the lad, he would not see his daughter hurt.
"The Tildens are, all of us, a prideful and stubborn people. Alicia has already proven she is made of the same stuff. You may not be able to change her mind."
Geoffrey straightened himself with determination. "I will change her mind, my lord. I love her." He had learned, today, that saying that aloud felt amazingly good. "Can you accept me as her husband?"
"I will have to have her word on it, that is all I can say."
"It would help considerably if you were in favor of the idea."
Wesley found laughter on his lips. "You would like a sponsor, eh, lad?"
"It wouldn’t hurt, my lord."
Wesley could hardly suppress the smirk. He had not foreseen how enjoyable it would be to interview a prospective son-in-law. "And you have ships? Land? A title?" Geoffrey nodded to each question asked. "All debts are settled and there is no trouble with the law?"
Geoffrey felt tension build. "There are a few loose ends, my lord. Minor, I assure you."
"And what are your expectations of dower goods?"
"None, sir. I am interested in Alicia, not her dowry."
"I have a substantial one that I look forward to giving her as her wedding gift, should she desire marriage. How do you feel about that?"
"I have some money and a debt that waits for me in England. If her dowry is even meager, I can pay my debt and build a house for her and will her my land. She will have security all of her days."
"Then she would control her dower purse?"
"Of a certain, without your asking."
"You are a very accommodating groom, Lord Seavers. I wonder what my daughter has done to make you so eager."
"It was during a time when I was never so determined in anything as to keep free of bonds and promises, that Alicia touched my heart. I have been like a man crippled since she left London with no word. Now I’ve found her, I won’t let her slip away again."
Wesley thought for a moment and looked up at Seavers again. "Tread carefully while you are here, Geoffrey. If your presence does my daughter ill, I will have you moved from this house."
"Aye, sir."
"And remember, Seavers, that this once my approval will not help you. If Alicia chooses another husband, my will rests on her choice." He cleared his throat. He was a man too successful in all his endeavors to admit that in this he had no control. He feared Alicia’s flight from his family.
"She will not, my lord. As I taught her not to trust me, I can teach her to trust me anew."
Again Wesley frowned. "In deference to my close kinship with your deceased family and your friendship with my son, I will allow this nonsense about the details of your friendship with my daughter to remain private—for now. But should I ever learn that you—"
"I swear, my lord, my foolishness in the way I treated Alicia can all be rectified if I am given half a chance to win her heart."
Wesley grunted. "Preston dotes upon the lass. I suppose he wouldn’t allow you in this house if you had acted improperly."
Geoffrey felt his pulse quicken and hoped the older gentleman would not notice. He was worried that his truthfulness on the matter of their marriage might only force Wesley to support him—endorse a marriage—but that was not what he wanted. He wanted her to come to him of her own free will. "Aye, sir," he said.
"Remember my warning, Seavers. Take care with your treatment of my daughter."
"I will take the greatest care, sir."
Wesley sat behind his desk again and Geoffrey made a brief, stilted bow and left the room. Just outside the study doors he paused and breathed a sigh of relief. He thought it would be best if he could quickly straighten things out: before Wesley Tilden learned the details of his bargain with his wife and had him horsewhipped.
So, she wants to be courted, he thought. And her father’s warning lies over my head at my every word and movement. Alicia, I pray you work out your anger quickly. Before the leaves turn with autumn our dilemma may become...obvious.
On a sunny morning, as Alicia sat on the veranda paring apples so that Etta could make a special pie, Geoffrey approached and bowed. "Madam, I would deem it an honor if you would walk with me for a while this morning."
"Another time, Lord Seavers. I have a busy morning ahead," she said briskly, picking up her pans of apples and peels and entering the house. She went straight to the kitchen.
At dinner that night Geoffrey leaned across the table and addressed Alicia. "Alicia, I beg a private moment of your time. Would you take a ride in the carriage with me in the morning?"
She looked around at the faces, all turned toward her as they waited for her answer. "What is it you wish to discuss with me, Lord Seavers?" she asked coolly.
Geoffrey’s jaw tensed. "Alicia," he said quietly, "must I play my court in public?"
"I apologize, Lord Seavers. I did not mean to mislead you. I am not interested in courtship now."
He tried to keep his embarrassment from showing. The other fa
mily members began to eat again, except for Wesley, who sat frowning at Alicia. When she looked at him no words needed to be said; she knew he approved of Geoffrey and disapproved of her reluctance toward marriage.
"May I be excused, sir?" she asked.
Wesley Tilden nodded and Alicia left a silent table.
On a rainy evening, when one of the first fires of the fall was built in the sitting room, Geoffrey approached her again. "Alicia, a word, I beg. May I speak to you for a moment?"
"I beg to decline, Lord Seavers. I tire easily these days and was just about to go up to my room."
"I would have you set aside some time for me, Alicia. At your convenience, of course," he said, his voice terse and strained.
Though there was no one else in the sitting room at the moment, Alicia decided against a confrontation. "Perhaps, Lord Seavers. I shall certainly tell you when I have the time. Goodnight."
She rose and walked slowly to the sitting room doors, her stride even and consciously unhurried, since she knew that as she walked, he was watching her back in near fury. When she closed the sitting room doors behind her, she leaned against them and smiled.
"I don’t like what you’re doing," Preston said.
She looked up at him in surprise. "Whatever do you mean, Preston?"
"I don’t like this game you’re playing with Geoffrey. It is dishonest and cruel."
"And did he treat me with honesty and kindness?" she asked in a whisper.
Preston leaned closer. "If it is vengeance you carry, tell me when you think it will be spent so that I can advise the man to humiliate himself no more."
"When I am satisfied that he no longer uses me!" she snapped, her voice cautiously low and her eyes darting about to make sure no one was around to hear them.
"Will you satisfy yourself by refusing to speak to him? By running from his presence and keeping armies of family about you so that he may not speak his mind? Will your hostility be spent and your heart satisfied before his child is born?"
Alicia’s eyes blazed. "I see. How many are left that are still unaware of my problem? Has he told the entire family?"
"As far as I know, I am the only person here with whom Geoffrey shares confidences—and he divulged that information only that I might understand the urgency of another problem. One that I seek to help him solve."
Alicia stood tall, her chin lifted indignantly. "He neglected to mention, Preston, that I need only one husband to help me solve my problem, and I think there are other men here attracted enough to my dowry to do me the honor. Lord Seavers is not the only man asking."
"Take care, Alicia. You can buy more with tenderness than you can with hatred."
The sitting room doors opened and Geoffrey stood there looking at them.
"Leave her alone, Preston. Let her have this her way. I will wait."
Alicia looked at him in wonder. Preston slowly withdrew from them and went down the foyer in another direction. For a long moment Alicia stared at Geoffrey, and then, picking up her skirts, fled toward the stairs, tears glistening in her eyes as she went.
"I will wait, love," Geoffrey said softly.
The sight of Bryson’s carriage approaching the house surprised Alicia, but she met him on the porch with a smile of welcome on her lips. She found herself almost wishing that Geoffrey was nearby to see for himself that other attractive men were interested in her, but she had not seen him about the house since morning.
"Bryson, what a pleasant—"
"I imagine I should have sent a request to see you, Alicia, but I feel this is rather urgent. I need to speak to you alone."
"Certainly, Bryson," she said, bewildered by his brusque manner and terse words. It was unlike him to be any less than cautious in how he spoke to her. He was usually deferential and apologetic.
"Can we walk?" he asked.
"I suppose. What troubles you so?"
"It is my own impatience, Alicia, and my desire to protect you."
"Protect me? From what?"
"From anything in life that would injure you. I’ve asked your father’s permission to have you as my wife, and he leaves the matter to your discretion. I don’t understand his decision at all."
"I thing perhaps he trusts my judgment," she said, knowing that was not the truth. He was extremely angry with her reluctance to do something to insure her future; she knew Wesley wanted her married and settled.
"That may be, but I think we should be married at once."
"Oh, you do?"
"I do. Before people begin to speak of you unkindly."
"Why would they do that?" she asked. For a moment her greatest fear was that the whole of Virginia was aware of her condition.
"You have long since reached the age when a woman marries, and people wonder at your reluctance. I have made it well known that I desire marriage with you, yet have been unable to gain your acceptance of the idea." He stopped and grabbed her by the arms and turned her to face him. "Alicia, you know I want to marry you."
"Yes, Bryson. I know."
"And now that Seavers chap is living under the same roof with you, and some say you’re interested in him."
Alicia thought for a moment. She had been openly impatient with Geoffrey, publicly unkind, and less than decorous. "I don’t see how anyone could think that."
"Never mind, I know you’re not—"
"You do?" she asked. "How could you know that?"
Bryson sighed, visibly annoyed that his romantic schemes were not unfolding as quickly as he’d hoped. "The point, Alicia, is that so little is known about your past, and your family is so silent on the subject, that people are apt to talk. It is jealousy, I assure you, but the best relief is a quick and suitable marriage, and I am willing to give you that."
How strange, she thought, how many dire things can be cured with marriage. She had a basket of ills that would all disappear by simply repeating the vows of matrimony. "And you are not concerned about my past?" she asked.
"I am prepared to accept you in whatever condition you are in."
"Condition?" she asked, her eyes sparkling. Perhaps the whole of Virginia did know about her pregnancy.
"It does not matter to me if you are not a virgin."
"Did it occur to you to ask?"
"No. Ah, it seems unimportant now."
Alicia thought for a moment and her eyes narrowed slightly. "Tell me, Bryson, how will you support me?"
"I have a fine house, Alicia, and the possibility of even greater financial success. You have no need to worry about your future."
"You have an interest in milling, haven’t you?"
"Aye, and that project should be among the first things to get underway."
"I imagine my dowry would help immensely."
"I won’t have you think your dowry is the most important thing in my consideration. I am very attracted to you."
Alicia sighed audibly. "Yes, I imagine you are."
"You don’t believe me?" he asked, stopping their stroll again.
Alicia paused too, looking earnestly into Bryson’s face. She suspected he was being honest with her. She thought perhaps he really did love her, but he wouldn’t mind the financial boost her dowry would bring, either. No one would. It would aid Bryson’s success as it would aid Geoffrey’s or any other man’s.
"How do you suppose a maid can be assured that the man she chooses to wed truly loves her?" she asked.
"Alicia, I don’t intend to take you to a far-off land where you are without the benefits of your family. You have five brothers and a father. Would I ask for your hand in marriage and move you to a house a few miles away, if it were my intention to abuse you?"
"I suppose not..." she mused.
"Of course, I wouldn’t. And for that matter, what more could I do to convince you that my love for you is…"
But Alicia didn’t hear the rest. Her mind was elsewhere. Since coming to America, Geoffrey had tried as carefully and at least as loudly to convince her that he loved her. But her an
ger was so powerful she could not hear him. The hurt she felt at his rejection in England would not abate enough for her to ask herself the most important question: whom do I love?
"Bryson," she said suddenly, looking up at him, "kiss me."
He stared at her in shock for a moment, then looked around the yard to see who might be watching. Alicia wrinkled her nose as she noticed his worry over spectators. She had a feeling Geoffrey would be carrying her to the nearest grassy bed, his wanting was so intense.
Satisfied that they were alone, Bryson carefully encircled her waist and pulled her near, his lips moving over hers with delicate intent. She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him nearer still, but nothing moved in her. There was simply no passion in their kiss. He released her and sighed with absolute pleasure.
Alicia sighed as well, but it was at the difficulty of the task before her. "I’m sorry, Bryson. It is impossible for me to marry you."
"Impossible?" he questioned, aghast.
"Impossible."
He looked completely crashed. "Alicia, you could learn to love me if you—"
And then it came to her as naturally as if it had always been there, the answer simply waiting for the question. "It is impossible, Bryson, because I am already married." And she picked up her skirts and started back in the direction of the house. She smiled as she went. Of course, she was married. She had perhaps been using another name, but the vows had come out of her mouth, her heart. It would need legal attention—perhaps a second ceremony using the proper names—but these were mere details! Somehow it would be corrected.
"Married to whom?" he insisted at her back.
"Lord Seavers."
"But you don’t love him!" Bryson blustered.
Alicia stopped suddenly and Bryson nearly trampled her. When he had stopped himself and backed up a space, she looked at him as if he were a complete fool. "But of course I love him, Bryson. He’s come all the way to America to find me again."
"Why didn’t you tell me?" he demanded, his face twisted into an angry pout that made him look more like a four-year-old than a grown man.
Now that she had blurted it out, she wasn’t sure why she’d let so much agony stand between her peace of mind and the truth. "I don’t know," she said as she contemplated the question. "I suppose I’ve been very foolish." She shrugged and smiled. "Well, I’m sorry for you if you’re hurt, Bryson. I told you I didn’t think you should count on so much from me. Good day." And she was in the house, leaving the badly disappointed and deflated Bryson to gather up his mettle and take himself to find another bride.