Onwards Flows the River

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Onwards Flows the River Page 11

by Caroline Windsor


  o0o

  The meal, Kate reflected some two hours later as she surveyed the well-scraped plates littering the table, had been delicious. Both men were obviously well used to catering for themselves – Aidan in his comfortably shabby terraced house on the outskirts of Westermouth, Daniel in his flat in the centre of the town. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Around her she caught various snatches of conversation. Aidan was showing Jo and Beth some old photographs of Cocklecombe, while at the other end of the table Daniel and Hannah appeared deep in conversation.

  “I expect you’ve made some interesting friends at college,” she heard him say.

  “Oh heaps,” came Hannah’s reply. “The social life is absolutely wonderful.”

  Kate caught Jo’s eye and winked at her. It would never occur to Hannah that she was actually telling a barefaced lie. If challenged, she might agree that she was exaggerating a bit, but that was all. Still, if she wanted to make Daniel jealous that was her affair, Kate had no intention of disabusing him. But of one thing she was certain. Hannah was secretly as delighted to be back with Daniel again, as he was to be with her. The two of them were made for each other, the incessant teasing and bickering which characterised their relationship being the only way they knew to express their affection. Kate turned her attention to the others.

  “Is that your boat?”

  As she watched, Jo’s hand brushed Aidan’s arm as she leaned across to point at a photograph.

  “It is.” Aidan flipped over the page. “And that’s it again, when Hannah and I were sailing last summer. It’s only a small dinghy, but it’s perfect for pottering about on the river.”

  Jo looked up and smiled at him. Engrossed in the photographs she continued to turn the pages of the album, responding now and then to some remark of Beth’s. Kate closed her eyes again, wondering why she felt a slight ripple of unease. Slowly, the reason dawned upon her but she pushed the thought away. It was only when she peeped through her lashes several minutes later that her worst fears were confirmed. As the light from the ceiling sent chestnut glints rippling through Jo’s short dark hair, she saw that Aidan was gazing at her, transfixed. And the expression on his face was one she had never seen before.

  CHAPTER SIX

  It was just after nine o’clock the following morning when the doorbell roused Kate from a fitful sleep. Pushing back the bedclothes, she sat up.

  “Who the hell’s that?” From her bed beside the door, Hannah’s outraged face emerged from beneath the eiderdown.

  Kate peered out of the window. “Actually, it’s your parents – and your mother seems to be carrying a casserole.”

  “They must be mad, waking us up at the crack of dawn. We’re on holiday for heaven’s sake.”

  “It’s not that early.” Kate tapped on the window and waved vigorously. “It’s all right, Jo’s let them in. She must have been up already.” She scrambled into her dressing gown and fetched Hannah’s from the wardrobe. “Come on, get a move on! Where’s your Christmas spirit?”

  “It’s still asleep,” Hannah grumbled as she thrust her feet into her navy-blue fleecy slippers. “As I would be, given half a chance.”

  She stumbled after Kate down the narrow staircase. Voices from the kitchen told her that her parents had already introduced themselves to Jo and Beth.

  “Don’t worry about the Mr and Mrs,” she heard her father say. “George and Mary’ll be fine. We Quakers don’t go in for titles as a rule.”

  “For God’s sake, they haven’t been in the house five minutes and they’re on about religion already,” she muttered.

  Kate gave her a sharp nudge.

  Mary emerged from the kitchen, her curly blonde hair standing out in a halo around her head.

  “Hannah darling!” Her mother’s soft, plump arms enfolded her in a warm embrace.

  “Hi Mum.” Over her mother’s shoulder she saw her father’s shrewd eyes watching her.

  “Good to see you were up early cooking breakfast for your guests.”

  Hannah groaned.

  “Don’t tease the girl, George. You know she’s not at her best in the mornings.”

  “No, I’m not – and I wasn’t expecting you to call so early or I’d have put the alarm on.”

  “It may be Christmas Eve but some of us have got to work today – and work late probably – to make up for having the next few days off.”

  Hannah gave her father a peck on the cheek. “It’s hard work being a solicitor – I bet you’re glad I didn’t decide to study law and follow Aidan into the family firm.”

  “Too right I am! You’d have spent all your time flirting with Daniel and I wouldn’t have got much work out of either of you.”

  “I’ve made you a fish pie, darling, to save you having to cook tonight. I know Aidan and Daniel will be coming over late this evening to go to the midnight service, but they weren’t sure what time they’d be finishing work so they said they’d have a bite at the pub first.”

  “Thanks, Mum – you’re an angel.”

  “So, Kate,” George gave her an enigmatic smile. “Who’s winning – the Quakers or the Anglicans?”

  Kate laughed. Her religious vacillations were an old joke between them. “I go to the Anglicans most weeks, but that’s because the church is just across the square from Harrison House and I wanted to be involved in the local community. But I do go to Meeting once a month too. I think the Quakers will always be my first love – if the meeting house had been closer I’d have gone there instead.”

  “I suspect Hannah’s grateful it isn’t – I know you drag her along with you when you go, but I’m sure she’d hate to feel she ought to go every single week.”

  “She doesn’t drag me along, as you put it. I’m more than happy to go – it’s just that it’s a really difficult place to get to by public transport, especially on a Sunday, so I’m dependent on Kate for her car.”

  “Just as well you failed your driving test then,” her father observed. “Otherwise we might have felt obliged to provide you with your own transport purely for the sake of your soul.”

  “Why is it that my family and friends can never have a normal conversation with me? I get sick of being teased all the time.” Hannah turned to her mother for support.

  Mary laughed. “It’s only because we love you – and because you’re so eminently teasable. Now, we’d better be off – your father’s late enough for work as it is. We only dropped over to deliver the fish pie and introduce ourselves to your friends. We’ll look forward to seeing you all tomorrow.”

  “And thank you so much for everything,” Jo smiled at her. “It’s lovely for Beth and me to be able to spend Christmas together – especially in somewhere as beautiful as Cocklecombe.”

  “It’s good to have you here. I hope you’ll be able to come again – maybe in the spring or summer when the place is at its best.”

  Hugging her dressing gown around her, Hannah followed her parents out to the car.

  o0o

  “Aren’t they simply amazing?” Hannah banged the front door shut behind her and hurried to the fire to warm her hands. “They just never stop talking about religion!”

  “Oh, what rubbish!” Kate sprang to their defence. “They only talk about it when the subject comes up naturally.”

  “Yes, don’t be so unfair to them,” Jo agreed. “I thought they were a lovely couple.”

  “You’re so lucky to have parents like that,” Beth added quietly.

  “Well, it’s three against one, so I guess you’re right.” Hannah sighed. “It’s just that sometimes it would be nice to be able to have a conversation where no one mentions politics or religion. You know – the sort of conversation normal families have.”

  Kate thought back to the conversations which she used to have with her parents. “You’re
wrong, you know. Most so-called normal families have the most tedious conversations imaginable. All about the price of food, the weather, or some scandal about the neighbours.”

  “And some families never have real conversations at all,” Jo agreed. “They just sort of grunt at each other... and that’s only when they’re not either shouting or refusing to speak at all.”

  Kate saw Beth’s eyes well up with tears.

  “I think I’ll just go up and make our beds. I won’t be long.” She disappeared up the stairs.

  “Oh dear, I shouldn’t have said that.” Jo ran her hands distractedly through her dark, cropped hair. “I forgot how sensitive she is sometimes.”

  “It was my fault.” Hannah’s expression was rueful. “I know perfectly well how lucky I am – and most of the time I adore my parents, especially my mother. It’s just that sometimes they drive me up the wall too.”

  Jo laughed. “I’m sure it’s mutual.”

  “It is indeed.” Hannah lowered her voice conspiratorially. “While Beth’s upstairs, Jo, my parents asked me to have a word with you. They’d really like to buy a present for Beth from the family – and they didn’t want to embarrass you or anything, but they wondered if you thought she’d like some new clothes. As Mum said, girls grow so fast at that age – and what with clothes being so expensive – they’d love to be able to give her something she really wants.”

  “But they’ve been so generous already, having us for Christmas and everything. I couldn’t possibly let them spend any more.”

  “They can afford it, believe me. They don’t look particularly affluent, I’ll agree, but that’s because they don’t actually spend very much on themselves. What gives them real pleasure is being able to share what they have. It’s all part of the equality thing, you see; they like to even things up a bit.”

  “Yes,” Jo’s face brightened. “I do see. And yes, in that case, I would be extremely grateful. Beth’s shot up in the past few months – I’ve managed to buy her a few things, but I know she needs quite a bit more.”

  “Great – that’s settled then.” Hannah’s face relaxed into a smile. “I wonder if you and I could get the bus into Westermouth this afternoon to do the shopping. You know Beth’s size and the sort of clothes she’d like – I really think I need you to come with me.”

  “Of course. Beth hates crowds anyway, so I doubt if she’d want to come.”

  “But she might like to come for a walk along the estuary with me. I’d love to have the chance to get to know her better.”

  “That’s a brilliant idea, Kate – I’ll go and sound her out.” Jo turned as she reached the foot of the stairs. “I can’t thank you both enough – it’s wonderful to have such good friends.”

  o0o

  “I love this place – it’s absolutely magical.” Beth’s quiet voice interrupted Kate’s reverie.

  Kate looked down at her and smiled, remembering the first time she had seen Beth – in the photograph beside Jo’s bed in Harrison House. She was struck now, as she had been then, by the ethereal beauty of the girl’s heart-shaped face with its frame of dark hair streaming down over her shoulders. Now though, the pale cheeks were tinged with pink and the deep brown eyes beneath the heavy fringe sparkled with exhilaration. That strange quality of other-worldliness, so apparent in the photograph, had gone. It was as if the beauty of the countryside around them had brought the girl alive.

  As if to echo her thoughts Beth turned and gave her a smile of pure joy.

  “Sometimes I think I only really wake up when I’m out in the wilds somewhere. The rest of the time I just lie dormant. Do you ever feel like that?”

  “Frequently, but it’s a relief to come across a kindred spirit. Most people I know seem to prefer towns.” Kate turned off the quiet winding lane which had brought them past the pastel-washed cottages huddling around the head of the creek, and led the way down a narrow footpath to the river’s edge. The comfortable wooden seat on which she had spent so many solitary hours over the years, dreaming and planning her future, beckoned as it always did. “Shall we sit here for a few minutes? Let me know if you find it too cold.”

  Beth settled down beside her and gave a contented sigh. “What a wonderful view – I wish I could stay here all day.”

  Kate laughed. “I have stayed here all day – or nearly all day – in the past, on many occasions. I used to call it my dreaming seat.”

  “You lucky thing – did you used to come with Hannah?”

  “Oh, Hannah and I would generally stop here for a rest or a drink when we were doing the walk around the estuary, but only for ten minutes or so – Hannah’s not a great one for sitting and watching the world go by. But on days when she wanted to go off shopping in Westermouth or to spend some time with Daniel, I used to love to come here on my own.” Kate gazed out across the river, deserted now, save for a flock of oystercatchers, their huge red bills probing for worms down on the mud-flats. “I’d set off early in the morning and do the full five-mile walk beside the estuary, out around the headland and back down the valley to Cocklecombe – just as we are doing now. Then I’d pop into the bakers, buy some sandwiches, and come back here for the rest of the day.”

  “It must have been wonderful.” Beth’s quiet voice was envious.

  “Well, yes it was, in many ways. But often we only appreciate moments like that in retrospect. At the time I was usually as miserable and confused as any normal teenager.”

  “You – miserable and confused? I can’t imagine it. You seem so sane and sensible.”

  “It’s true, I promise. This seat was my refuge, the place where I came to sort out my problems and dream about the future. Like you, I only really feel fully alive when I’m out in the countryside, and especially when I’m near water. It seems to have a healing quality somehow. Rivers in particular – something to do with the way the water is constantly flowing – onwards to the sea and back again, filling up the creek.”

  “Yes, that’s it exactly. It’s so soothing it helps you to put your problems into perspective.”

  Kate nodded. “It’s comforting to know that whatever upheavals may be going on in your life, the water just keeps on ebbing and flowing just the same. It gives you a sense of peace – a feeling that there is some higher power which has got everything under control.”

  Beth was silent for a moment. “It’s easier to believe in God really, when you’re in the countryside. Sometimes I sort of lose him when I’m back in town.”

  “So you’re not an atheist like your sister?”

  “Oh no! I’ve always known that God existed – I’ve known that since I was about four. Sometimes I see...” She broke off, embarrassed.

  “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to, Beth. It’s not always easy to talk about spiritual things, even to someone you’re really close to. But anything you do tell me is just between the two of us, OK?”

  “Thanks.” Beth was silent for a moment, then the words came tumbling out. “I do see things sometimes. I see my mother quite often – she comes to stand at the bottom of my bed at night. And other times I don’t exactly see something, but it’s as if perfectly normal objects like a tree or a flower are surrounded by a special kind of light which makes them stand out. It’s not something I’ve ever talked about really. Jo’s never had any time for religion, or anything like that.”

  “Sometimes people don’t feel they can subscribe to any of the organised religions – Anglicans, Methodists, Catholics and so on – but it doesn’t stop them having a rich spiritual life.”

  “I don’t think Jo has that either.” Beth leaned forward, elbows on knees, and propped her head in her hands. “I mean, she’s got a really good brain, and she’s much cleverer than I am, but she just doesn’t seem to be aware of anything else.”

  “I think a lot of people are like that. They live their
lives in the present without ever really questioning the meaning behind it all. Some go on like that until they die. Others, of course, have some sort of dramatic conversion experience which changes them for ever. And then there’s the third group, who gradually come to accept that there is a spiritual dimension to their lives and then set about trying to find some religious slot which they can fit into.”

  “And have you found the right slot for yourself yet?”

  Kate laughed. “I think I’d classify myself as a Quanglican, which means that I like to worship both with the Quakers and with the Anglicans – to absorb the best of both traditions, if you like.”

  “I’ve never been to a Quaker meeting, but I’ve often wondered what they’re like. There’s a Quaker lady at the children’s home who’s been really kind to me.”

  “I’ll take you to one, one day – and that’s a promise. Hannah’s family usually goes to Westermouth Meeting, but because it’s Christmas Eve and the midnight mass at Cocklecombe Church is so beautiful, we thought – since we’re staying in the village – that we’d go there instead.”

  “I’ve never been to a midnight service before – it sounds really romantic.”

  “It is; I think you’ll love it as much as I do.” She smiled at Beth. “And now I think we’d better get on. We don’t want to get stuck out on the headland in the dark.”

  They walked in companionable silence along the footpath which bordered the river. As they approached the head of the estuary the path broadened into a stony track which climbed steeply upwards. At the top of the rise they paused for breath.

  “You see those houses over there beyond the next headland?”

  Beth nodded.

  “That’s Westermouth. Hannah’s parents live out on the edge of the moors about five miles the other side of the town. It’s a lovely rambling old house called Downlands. You’ll see it tomorrow, of course.”

 

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