“And do you feel I could be a part of that future?”
She hesitated. “Would you like to be?”
“I would.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “Are you absolutely sure? You know how prickly and quick-tempered I am.”
“Only when you feel threatened. Given the security of a stable marriage you’d soon let down your defences.”
“You can’t really want to marry me. Live with me, possibly, but not marry me.”
His smile broadened into a grin. “Jo – there’s nothing more that I can ask of life than to have you as a wife to share it with me. I’ve loved you ever since I first set eyes on you – and as for Beth, she’s like a sister to me.”
Jo smiled. “You’ve been so wonderful with her – she worships the ground you walk on.”
He took her hand. “I don’t expect you to love me as I love you – that would be too much to hope for – or expect for that matter, after what your father did to you. But what I can offer you is a stable home for yourself and Beth, financial security and a loving relationship which will make no demands upon you, other than those you feel able to fulfil.”
Joy, hope and a sense of awe at what he was offering, threatened to overwhelm her. Her voice, when she finally spoke, was no more than a whisper.
“You may have to be patient with me. Things may be difficult between us – physically, I mean, for a while.”
“I’ll be as patient as you need me to be. It’s something we’re going to have to work at together.” He smiled down at her. “I would rather share my life with the woman I love – on whatever terms – than not share it with her at all.”
Their eyes met and this time it was tears of joy which threatened to overwhelm her. She felt the burden of her uncertain future lift from her shoulders. And even the burden of her past seemed to rise momentarily, shake itself, and settle down less heavily upon her.
“Can I take it that the answer is yes?”
She nodded wordlessly.
He grinned and she saw the wicked glint in his eye.
“I’d like to kiss you, but another slap across the face would rather spoil the moment.”
By way of reply she lifted her face to his and their lips met. And though the earth failed to move in quite the same way she knew it would have done for Kate, neither did it produce the shudder of revulsion which she had feared it might.
Eventually, with some reluctance, Aidan drew away from her.
He rose. “And now I think it’s high time we went upstairs to bed.”
He saw the shadow of alarm which crossed her face and laughed.
“Separately, my dear Jo, separately. Much as I desire you, it’s sleep I need, not sex.”
The relief which she felt brought with it a sense of shame.
“Give me time, Aidan.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Words can’t express how grateful I am to you. I’m sure that everything will be fine – just give me time.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
From her window, Jo watched Kate as she crossed the square on her way back from church the following morning. The moment that she had been dreading had finally arrived. Ten minutes later she tapped on her door.
Kate’s welcoming smile pierced her to the marrow and she sent up a quick prayer to the god she didn’t believe in, that she was not about to lose her closest friend.
“I was making coffee anyway, so I thought I’d bring you a cup.”
“Thanks – that was kind of you. Have you time to come in for a few minutes?”
Jo nodded.
“Good!” Kate’s smile broadened. “What with you studying for A levels and me working late at the office, it seems ages since we had a proper chat.”
Jo followed her into the room and perched on the edge of the bed. Her palms felt clammy with nerves. Better not to pussyfoot around with any small talk – she’d get straight to the point.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Oh yes?” Kate seated herself in the armchair and crossed her slender legs. “Something good, I hope?”
Jo tugged at a recalcitrant hangnail, unable to meet her eye.
“It’s about Aidan.” She took a deep breath. “We’re getting married.”
There was a prolonged silence broken only by the slam of a car door in the square outside. Eventually, unable to bear the suspense any longer, Jo looked up. Kate’s face, pale at the best of times, was ashen. She felt like a murderer who had just stabbed her best friend in the heart.
“You and Aidan? Married?”
Jo nodded. “It’s all been a bit sudden – he proposed to me last night... well, in the early hours of this morning to be precise.”
“But you don’t even like him! You told me yourself he wasn’t your type only five months ago. Or were you lying all along as I suspected?”
“Kate, honestly, I wasn’t – you have to believe me.” Jo gave her a beseeching look. “Aidan irritated me to death when I first met him – and the fact that he had obviously fallen for me only made things worse.” She looked away, unable to meet Kate’s unrelenting gaze. “But everything seemed to change at Easter... he was so kind and understanding when Beth told him how difficult our family life had been that...” She faltered.
“That your irritation magically changed to love?” The incredulity in her voice was unmistakable. “That’s an awfully big leap, Jo.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Kate. I can’t explain how, or why it happened – it just has.”
“And you love him – really, truly love him?”
Jo nodded.
Kate cleared her throat and Jo saw that she was struggling to keep her emotions under control.
“In that case,” the false brightness in her tone made Jo wince. “Regardless of my feelings on the subject, I must congratulate you both. I wish you every happiness in the future.” She set down her cup with a trembling hand. “Have you told Hannah yet?”
“Aidan’s telling her now. We’re driving down to see Beth this afternoon, before Aidan goes back to Devon.”
Kate nodded. “I know she’ll be thrilled to have Aidan as a brother-in-law – they’re so spiritually close, the pair of them.”
Jo heard the implied criticism in her remark.
“I know what you’re thinking. How can someone like Aidan, whose religion means everything to him, contemplate marrying an atheist like me?”
Kate shrugged. “It works both ways. How can someone who detests the very name of God, who has absolutely no conception of what an inner spiritual life is really like, even consider marrying a Quaker?”
“I don’t know, Kate.” Jo sighed. “Frankly, given my past history, I think we’re more likely to have problems on the physical front than the spiritual one.” The first nagging doubts and uncertainties crept into the back of her mind and she pushed them firmly away.
Kate sighed. “I’ll be honest with you, Jo. I don’t understand what made Aidan fall in love with you – or you with him for that matter. You seem to have absolutely nothing in common.”
“You think the odds are stacked against us?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t need to.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them.
“I’d hate to lose your friendship, Kate – but I know what Aidan means to you. If seeing the two of us together is going to make you unhappy, then I’ll understand if you prefer to keep your distance. I’d hate it – but I’d understand it.”
Kate forced a reluctant smile. “I think our friendship is tough enough to survive, Jo. It may emerge a bit battered – but I think it will survive.”
Jo hugged her. “Thanks, Kate.”
Her friend’s eyes looked suspiciously moist and she sought to lighten th
e moment.
“Changing the subject, I’m glad to see you’re getting on so well with your boss.”
Kate gave her a startled look. “How do you mean?”
Jo hesitated. “Well, I couldn’t help seeing you on Friday night when he brought you back... I was working late downstairs in the office.”
“What exactly did you see?”
“In the car – I saw you kiss him.”
Kate’s expression was making Jo feel distinctly uncomfortable.
“You saw nothing of the kind!”
Into Jo’s mind came a clear image of their two blonde heads together in the moonlight. She knew what she had seen – she would have sworn to it in a court of law. And it hadn’t been just a casual kiss either. It had been done deliberately and with an enthusiasm of which she hadn’t thought Kate capable. She gave a helpless shrug.
“Some idiot secretary spiked my drink at the party – Tim drove me home. End of story.”
It was obvious that Kate had absolutely no recollection of the evening’s events. She probably even thought she had managed to get herself up the stairs and into bed. Jo remembered the tussle she had had to undo the zip of Kate’s navy-blue dress which had somehow got inextricably entangled with her petticoat. How she hadn’t ripped the thing to pieces she’d never know.
But now was not the time to be arguing the toss with Kate. She gave her an apologetic smile.
“Sorry – I could have sworn it was Tim’s car where I saw the couple kissing, but it obviously wasn’t. No offence intended.”
“None taken.” She saw the relief on Kate’s face. “You had me worried there though! If I thought for one moment that I’d made a grab for Tim, I’d never be able to look him in the face again.”
Jo gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t give it another thought, Kate. It was late and it was dark – and I was obviously mistaken.” She stood up. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d better go and organise some lunch.”
o0o
Tim glanced up as his secretary set the coffee down beside him.
“Thanks, Kate – it’s just what I need. Forty minutes of the appalling Mrs Prendergast and her arthritic knee is enough to give anyone a dry throat.”
She gave him a distracted nod and went through the dividing door into her own office. Soon he heard her typewriter clicking rhythmically away. He frowned. Normally Kate was all too ready to share a joke with him about one of his more intransigent patients. A good sense of humour, as he knew only too well, was an excellent defence mechanism which helped to dissipate the normal stresses and strains of a demanding job.
He thought back over the past few days. Kate, he realised, hadn’t been her usual cheerful self since the previous weekend and although her work had been done as meticulously as usual, there was a joylessness about her which he found worrying. Something had happened to upset her, that was for sure. He drained his cup and went through to her office.
“Come on, Kate – spill the beans.”
He leaned against the wall, arms folded, watching her.
A faint flush spread over her pale cheeks. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do – something’s upset you and I know it isn’t me.” He gave her an appealing smile. “You’ve listened to my problems often enough – the least I can do is return the favour.”
The ghost of a smile passed her lips.
“Thanks – it’s kind of you, but there’s nothing you can do.”
“There probably isn’t, but at least I can listen. You look as if you need a shoulder to cry on.”
He saw the tears glisten in her eyes. She blinked them back.
“It’s nothing much really. I heard at the weekend that a friend of mine is getting married. It was a bit unexpected, that’s all.”
She gave a long, shuddering sigh.
Tim watched her closely. It obviously wasn’t just any old friend who was getting married – it was someone about whom she cared very deeply. And from the look of her, that someone probably wasn’t a woman. He put two and two together and arrived at the correct answer.
“It wouldn’t be someone called Aidan, would it?”
She looked at him, thunderstruck.
“How on earth did you know that?”
He shrugged. “It was just a guess – I think you mentioned his name at some point on Friday night.”
“Really? I don’t remember it.”
“It was just a passing remark – Aidan’s an unusual name, it must have stuck in my mind, that’s all.”
The anxiety in her face receded.
“Well yes, it is Aidan as a matter of fact.” She frowned as the tears threatened to spill over once more. “I don’t know why it’s upset me so – I’ve known him for years – his sister Hannah’s my closest friend. It just came as a bit of a shock, that’s all.”
She gave him a determined smile which deceived him not one jot. He knew exactly why his secretary was so devastated by this man’s forthcoming marriage. She was in love with him, had been for years probably, and now she had lost him. It was not something she was going to be able to come to terms with easily.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a misery – I’d better get on with my work.” She slipped the earphones onto her head.
“Okay then, but you know where I am if you need me.” He turned away, but not before he had seen the first of what he suspected would be a veritable flood of tears, slide down her cheek.
He returned to his office and flung himself down in his chair. If she wasn’t willing to confide in him, and he wasn’t able to persuade her, then he was just going to have to find some other way to give her the comfort she so desperately needed.
o0o
At nine o’clock that evening Kate was still pounding away at the typewriter. At first, she had cursed inwardly when Tim had walked into her office at half past five, given her a beseeching look, and asked if she could possibly manage to fit in an extra tape before she went home. Then, she realised that the extra work was, in fact, exactly what she needed to keep her mind off her problems. Tim had departed for The Cat and Fiddle soon after seven in search of an evening meal. Her own scanty appetite had been appeased by a cup of soup down in the kitchen.
Ten minutes later the tape ground to a halt. She switched off the machine and fastened the sheaf of papers together with a paper clip. The revised version of his chapter for the medical textbook which was, apparently, being requested so urgently by the publishers, was complete.
The harsh jangle of the telephone beside her made her jump. She picked up the receiver.
“Kate? It’s Don, the barman down at The Cat and Fiddle.”
“Hi, Don. What can I do for you?”
“I’m afraid your boss has had a bit of an accident.”
Hearing Kate’s sharp intake of breath, he hastened to reassure her.
“It’s nothing serious mind – he tripped over the threshold on his way out to the car park and twisted his ankle. It’s too painful for him to drive, so he wondered if you’d be kind enough to run him home.”
“I’ll be down in a few minutes – I’ve never driven a Jaguar before, but I expect I’ll manage.”
“Thanks, Kate – Tim said you were a kind girl. He hoped you wouldn’t mind helping him out.”
o0o
Ten minutes later she walked into the bar. Tim was sitting at a table by the fire, one bandaged leg propped up on a stool. He gave her a cheery wave.
“Thanks for rescuing me, Kate. Like a drink before we leave?”
Kate shook her head. “I’d better not. I’ll have to get back to Harrison House after taking you home and the buses are rather few and far between at this time of night.”
“Then if you could give me a hand we’ll be off.” He reached into his pocket and handed
her his car keys.
Kate looked at them nervously. “You do know I’ve never driven anything bigger than a Morris Minor, don’t you?”
“You’ll be fine,” he reassured her. Wincing slightly, he lifted his leg off the stool and rose to his feet. “I’ll need to lean on you a bit I’m afraid. Probably best if I put my arm round your neck.”
“Of course.” She hastened to his side.Slowly they wended their way through the tables towards the door.
“She looks like a woman one can lean on in times of trouble,” one wag called out as they passed.
Kate felt the warmth rush to her cheeks.
“She certainly is,” Tim assured him. “She’s been a tower of strength to me.”
Her spirits rose at the compliment and she flashed him a grateful smile. Here at least was a man who seemed to appreciate her. Steering him carefully through the door and across the car park, she opened the door of the sleek silver E-Type Jaguar and helped him into the passenger seat. Feeling slightly apprehensive, she slid behind the steering wheel and peered down the lengthy bonnet.
“Nothing to be nervous about,” Tim told her briskly. “It’s only a piece of metal after all. It’s not the end of the world if you do have a scrape.”
Her confidence thus boosted, Kate adjusted the driving seat to suit her somewhat shorter legs and switched on the engine. It roared into life with enthusiasm and she felt a thrill of excitement. Carefully she edged out of the car park and turned left on to the road.
By the time they reached the smart square of Georgian terraced houses where Tim lived, she was thoroughly enjoying herself. She glanced across at him. He was leaning back in his seat, his eyes closed – though whether he was relaxed or simply terrified she had no means of knowing. He opened them as she drew to a halt outside his house.
“There – I told you you’d be fine!” He gave her a warm smile. “You’re an excellent driver, you know. I had complete confidence in you.”
Onwards Flows the River Page 26