by S. J. McCoy
Carter shrugged again, looking uncomfortable. “I guess. Guy Preston was over at the nursery the other day, pricing out landscaping for a new place. He said he's buying Gina's dad's place and...” he hesitated.
Mason thought he had a pretty good idea of what was coming. He waited.
“Well. He was talking as though a night with Gina was going to be part of the deal.” He studied Mason's face. “I thought you should know.”
“Don't worry. I do know.” Mason felt sick to his stomach at the thought that Guy had cost him ten years with Gina. He knew Gina would never do it, but the thought of her sleeping with him had the pulse in his temple throbbing again.
“She wouldn't, Mase. You know that. Even if the two of you weren't back together. Gina's not like that.”
“I'm not sure we are back together, but you're right. She'd never go anywhere near him.”
“You think they'd sell to him?”
“I don't.” He didn't add that they wouldn't because he'd buy the place himself before he'd let that happen.
“Okay, well I guess I'll get my dumb ass outta here then,” said Carter.
“Want to come back over to the cabin for lunch since you're here?” Mason hated for him to drive all the way down here for a two-minute conversation. He wasn't prepared to talk about it all because he didn't know what to think, let alone what to say, but he didn't want Carter to leave either.
Carter grinned. “You know I'll always stick around if you feed me.”
Mason laughed. “True. What time are you coming down here on Sunday? Are you going to help get the party set up?”
“Sure am,” said Carter as he followed Mason back up to the house. “There are going to be a lot of people out here and I don't want Mom overdoing it, trying to get too much done by herself.”
Mason nodded. “Yeah. I figure if we all get together we can take on most of it and she can do the light stuff. I've noticed lately that she gets tired fast.”
“They're getting old, Mase. Has Dad talked anymore about taking her to Arizona for the winter?”
“He has. He keeps handing more off to me and Shane and Chance. I think they're about ready to step back.”
“I do, too. I'll move back down here and help out with anything you need me to anytime, you know. Just say the word.”
That surprised Mason. Carter was all about family, but he had enough on his own plate. “You've got your hands full with your business, haven't you?”
“I sure have, but if you need me, all you have to do is say so. Family comes first for me. You know that.”
Mason had to wonder if everything was okay with Carter. He didn't get to ask. As they approached the cabin, the front door swung open and Chance grinned at them. “Why is it that anytime I fix something to eat, at least one of you always shows up?”
Mason laughed. “Hey. I didn't know you were back. How did it go?”
“Yeah, we got the whole herd up to summer pasture. Looks like it should be a good year. I'm beat though. I just got back in and I plan to eat and then sleep. Lucky for you two, I made enough to feed everyone for a couple of days so come on in. Eat up.”
Mason watched Carter and Chance as they ate. Chance felt like a fifth brother, he'd been around for so long and they were so close.
He looked up and grinned. “Are you and Gina back on track then?”
Mason pursed his lips. “Not quite, no.”
Chance frowned. “You'll figure it out.” He wasn't one to talk about women or anything to do with relationships. Mason had never known him to have one—not a relationship, he'd certainly had his fair share of women. When he thought about it, they were all held prisoner by their past in some way. He’d never been able to get over Gina. Chance had come here from California—via a stint in prison. He'd been escaping a tragic past, but it seemed he'd never escaped it, just moved away from it. He hadn't moved on any more than Mason had. Carter was in the same boat. As so many guys around here seemed to, he'd married his childhood sweetheart straight out of high school. They'd lived in one of the cabins that Shane now used to accommodate his guests. Carter had come home one night and found her in their bed with one of the ranch hands. She'd left with the guy the next day. Mason had never known Carter to even date another woman since then. Perhaps that was why he was so concerned about him and Gina?
He grinned at Mason. “I think I need to come back down here more often if I'm going to get fed like this when I do.”
Chance laughed. “Well, don't expect me to be the one cooking when you do. This is me done. Now I'm going to catch up on some sleep. It was good to see you, Carter.”
“Yeah, you too, and thanks for lunch. I'll return the favor sometime. I'd better get going myself.”
Mason followed him out to his truck. “Thanks for coming down.”
“Sure thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm too far out of everything, being up there in town and all. I just wanted to remind you that whenever you want me, I'm around.”
Mason nodded. “I appreciate it.” He watched Carter drive away before heading back to the barn. He wanted to get some more of his paperwork taken care of before he needed to get Annie and Storm saddled up and ready. He wasn't even sure if Gina was coming. She hadn't replied to his text, but he was pretty sure she’d be here.
~ ~ ~
Gina's stomach was tying itself in knots by the time she pulled up at the barn. Since she'd talked to her dad this morning, she'd been driving herself nuts. Why hadn't she talked to Mason about what she'd heard him say? Why had she thrown away everything they'd shared? She knew why. Because she'd heard from his own mouth that he didn't want her anymore. What woman would stick around after that? Whatever he might have to say about what had happened ten years ago, she wondered what else he would say about what might happen now. Did he really want a shot at forever? Was she prepared to take the risk? She cut the engine when she saw him appear in the open doorway to the barn. She'd tormented herself with those questions all day. She wasn't going to be able to find the answers by herself. She needed to talk to him. And there he was.
He was leaning in the doorway, watching her get out of the truck. Damn him, why did he have to be so handsome? Broad shoulders, narrow hips, such a handsome face—even without its usual smile.
He didn't come to her when she got out. He just stood there waiting for her to make her way across the parking lot to him. It felt strange. He'd always been one to come to meet her as soon as he saw her, wherever they were. There seemed to be some meaning in the way he stood there waiting for her to come to him. It was up to her to close the distance between them. That thought stuck in her head. Was she the one who had caused the distance? No. He had.
She stopped before she got to him and held his gaze. She'd come most of the way to him, but it was important to her that he do the same. She needed to know that it wasn't going to all be up to her. If they were going to be able to come back together they both needed to put forth the effort.
He seemed to understand that. He gave a slight nod and pushed himself off the doorframe where he'd been leaning. His long stride closed the final gap between them in a few steps. He stood before her, his eyes boring into hers. She felt an almost overwhelming urge to throw herself into his arms, but she resisted.
He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. The warmth of it spread through her, untying the knots in her stomach and making her relax a little. “We've got some talking to do, huh?”
She nodded.
“Annie and Storm are all ready to go. What do you say we head up to Overlook Point? It won't take long, and we can let them graze up there while we talk.”
“Okay.”
When Mason brought Annie out, Gina buried her face in the mare's neck. “Hello, beautiful. I've missed you.” Annie had been such a huge part of her and Mason's time together. Gina loved her and had missed her. From the way she nuzzled into Gina's neck, it seemed the feeling was mutual.
Mason brought Storm out and Gina had to say hi to him, too. J
ust like his rider he was handsome and strong, but older than Gina remembered. He'd been a headstrong youngster back then, now he was a seasoned old pro. As soon as she swung herself up into the saddle Gina felt as though she truly was home.
The horses knew their way up to the point well enough. Annie fell in behind Storm and the two of them picked their way up the path through the trees. It was still early in the season, recent rainfall had filled the air with the scent of juniper—the scent of home, Gina couldn't help but think. She watched Mason's back as he rode ahead of her. The set of his broad shoulders made her feel uneasy. She kept re-running last night's conversation in her mind. From what she'd said, he must know that she'd heard him talking to Guy that night. He must know that she'd heard what he'd said about her, and about April. After not wanting to talk to him about it for all these years, now she was impatient to do just that. She wanted to hear what he had to say. Mason didn't seem in the same kind of hurry as she was. He led the way on Storm and made no attempt at conversation. It was strange not to ride beside him, but the trees would open up soon, the trail would widen, and she'd be able to bring Annie alongside. In the meantime, all this riding in silence was causing the knots in her stomach to retie themselves.
Once they emerged from the pines, Gina urged Annie into a trot to catch up. Mason met her gaze. She couldn't figure out what his eyes were trying to tell her, but it seemed as though there was an awful lot that needed to be said. Gina bit back all the questions she'd been about to launch into, deciding instead to wait and hear what he had to say.
“From what you said last night, I'm guessing that you heard me talk to Guy Preston?”
She nodded.
“And you believed what I told him?”
She nodded again. Why wouldn't she?
Mason shook his head sadly and rode on in silence.
When they reached Overlook, Gina reined Annie in and stared out across the valley. It was so beautiful up here. Even under these circumstances the view took her breath away. The valley lay before them, yellow fields turned to green around the edges as the land rose, all ringed with snow-capped peaks. She and Mason had come up here so many times, she'd always remembered it as one of their special places. As she watched him dismount from Storm, she wondered if today would make it an even more special place or whether it—and they—would be nothing more than a memory once they got done talking.
Mason took care of the horses before showing any sign that they'd come up here to talk. Gina didn't know where to begin, so she waited. Once Storm and Annie were tethered and grazing happily, Mason came back to the point where she was standing, taking in the view. He held his hand out to her. She looked at it before meeting his gaze, then nodded. She let him lead her out onto the rocky promontory, the 'Point' that gave this place its name. It was windy, but then it always was up here.
Mason sat down on a rocky outcropping that looked for all the world as if someone had carved a bench ready for weary travelers to rest a while. Gina sat down beside him and stared out. Maybe this was the perfect place for them to talk. Sitting side by side would be easier than holding each other’s gaze the whole time. She didn't want him to see all the pain on her face. Nor did she want to see the pain on his, and she had the feeling there was going to be a whole lot more there than she had ever dreamed in all the years she'd been gone.
They sat in silence for a while, listening to the wind.
“I'm so sorry, babe.” He spoke so softly that for a moment she wasn't sure whether he really had. He still stared out at the valley, but his hand sought hers. She let him take it and gave him a squeeze. She didn't want to speak, to interrupt him, but she wanted him to know she was with him.
“Tell me what you heard?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. It was only fair. “I don't remember the exact words, Mase. It was a long time ago. But you told him that you weren't so sure about me, about us, anymore. You were losing interest.” She stopped and swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat. Even now, it was hard to say it out loud. “That...that you wanted to get back with April. I just wish you'd told me before you told him.” She doubted it would have been any easier to hear. It still would have broken her heart, but at least she wouldn't have that deep feeling of betrayal that had plagued her all these years. The feeling that she had been just a stupid young girl, that she'd been blind because she'd loved him so much. She'd hated feeling that all the love she'd thought they shared only existed inside her head, that Mason hadn't felt it at all.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and looked down at her. There was no avoiding the pain she saw in his eyes. “I'm not going to deny I said it, Gina, but I need you to know I didn't mean it. Not a word of it.”
She sucked in a deep breath. She didn't want him to make excuses. “Don't try to make it easier for me. After all this time, please just tell me the truth.”
He gritted his teeth in frustration then took a deep breath of his own. “I was afraid you'd think that. Please hear me out. I fucked up. I see that now, but I did it because I was trying to protect you, protect us. You know how Guy has always been with me. He's tried to take away or destroy anything I've ever cared about.” He scowled out into the distance for a moment. “He's succeeded, too. I swore to myself that I would never allow him to mess with you or what we had. The irony of it is that in trying to stop him from destroying us, I went ahead and did it all by myself. I knew he was looking at grad schools in Portland and Seattle. I didn't want him going to Portland, living in the same city as you. I didn't trust him to not go messing with your head, trying to turn you against me. I was trying to steer him away from you. That's why I told him I wasn't into you anymore.”
It was hard for Gina to watch the regret play on his face. She knew he was speaking the truth.
“Last night I told you I feel kind of responsible for April. I do. I knew when I told Guy that I wanted to get back with her, that he would probably make a move on her. I got what I hoped for when he went to Seattle. He left you alone. What I didn't realize at the time was that in trying to stop him from destroying what we had, I was going ahead and destroying your life…and mine.” He shook his head. “And April's, too.”
Gina stared out at the big, blue sky. It all made sense now as he explained it to her. If only he'd explained it to her then. If he'd trusted her to include her, to talk to her about it. She shook her head. If only she'd explained to him then, trusted him enough to talk to him about what she'd heard. She couldn't blame him when she was just as guilty.
“Can you forgive me?”
She studied his face. Of course, she could. “Can you forgive me?”
He looked puzzled. “What for?”
“For believing your words without ever asking you about them. For refusing to talk to you about it for so long afterward. What you said, it made me call everything off. But if I'd talked to you just once, out of all those times you tried. If I'd answered you when you asked me over and over what went wrong, we could have gotten past it, together.”
“It's all on me, Gina. None of it's your fault.”
She shook her head. “I'd say if we want to start blaming then we share it equally.”
“No, babe. I...”
She put a finger up to his lips. “Don't, Mase. Whichever way you cut it, we both screwed up and it cost us ten years of our lives. Ten years that we'll never get back.” Her heart was heavy with the realization that all the time she'd lived without him, all the time she'd spent missing him, wanting and wishing she could have back what they'd lost, had been needless. She felt a tear roll down her cheek.
Mason brushed it away with his thumb. “Can you forgive me?”
She nodded as more tears escaped to follow the first. “I'll forgive you on one condition.”
“What's that?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked deep into his eyes. “That you forgive me too, and promise me we can spend the rest of our lives making up for the time we lost.”
> The ghost of a smile formed on his lips as he searched her face. “There's nothing to forgive...”
She shook her head. “That's my condition. I need you to forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“And I need that promise, too, cowboy.”
His smile spread. “I promise you, G. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
“And I want to spend the rest of mine making it up to you.”
He closed his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest. “Shall we get started right now?”
She nodded in the moment before his lips came down on hers.
Chapter Seventeen
Mason leaned on the stall door, watching Gina brush Annie down. He was still struggling to reconcile everything that he'd learned in the last twenty-four hours. He'd screwed up big time. It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that his mistake had cost him ten years. He shook his head to clear it. He couldn't help wishing that Gina had come to him, that she'd told him what she'd heard. There was no point dwelling on it. All he could do was be grateful for the fact that they'd finally gotten everything out in the open. That they could move forward together into whatever future they decided to build. His smile returned with the realization that everything he'd thought was lost forever was now possible. However bad he might feel about his mistakes in the past, he couldn't contain his happiness about the future. He'd believed that he would spend the rest of his life loving Gina from afar. Now he would get to love her up close, every day.
She tugged the comb through Annie's mane one last time then turned to smile at him.
“What do you want to do now?” he asked.