by Kahlen Aymes
"It's silly to cry over it now, since here you are in my arms... but the pain was so unbearable. Even the memory is so real. I never want to lose you, Cade. Promise me."
"Oh baby. I promise. That can never happen, Brooklyn. I can't survive without you now."
I meant every single word.
I LEFT CADE asleep in the bed and moved quietly around the room to dress. He looked so peaceful with his hair falling softly across his forehead as he lay sprawled flat on his stomach, his arms stretched above his head. Last night was amazing. I felt stupid at how my mind kept using that word when thinking of him, but that’s what he was. The look on his face when I surprised him filled me with indescribable happiness. This was our roller coaster; super highs, plunging to the deepest depths, and even if it was scary at times I didn’t want to get off. I sighed contentedly as I threw on an old T-shirt and jeans.
The delicious smell of bacon frying permeated the air and I could hear the low sounds of a television coming down the hall as I quietly opened the door to Cade's room. He was planning on taking me to see his apartment later in the day before I had to catch my plane shortly after midnight. He called it a flat and I reminded myself that I wasn’t in California anymore. Not yet. Two days, one night, then who knew when we'd be able to be together again. These redeye flights helped with the jet lag and also the mobs of fans, but it cut our time together short.
Lillian was in the kitchen making tea when I walked in." Good morning." I smiled at her and sat down at the curved marble bar that arched around the kitchen.
"Morning, darling. Did you sleep well?"
"I did, thank you. You have a very beautiful home, Lillian. Thank you for helping me with Cade’s surprise."
Her face lit up in a bright smile. "Yes that was precious. He simply adores you Brooklyn. I've never seen him so besotted before." She reached out and patted my hand.
"Well, I think he's pretty special, too.” I hesitated briefly before the next words burst from me. “I love him a lot." I ran my hand through my hair nervously, waiting for her reaction. Lillian nodded, her eyes filling with warm admiration as she gazed across at me.
"Would you like some tea? Or, I have coffee and juice? Caden insists on coffee since he's been spending so much time in America, so I always have it on hand for when he comes home."
I grinned. Cade did like his Starbucks. "Coffee'd be great, thank you."
Lillian had the same color hair as Cade and the same blue eyes. She was calm and genuine and had a wonderful way of making me feel welcome.
"You look sad, Brooklyn, are you alright?" she asked as she brought me the cup. "Cream?"
"No, thank you," I sighed. "I always love seeing Cade, but leaving him just always hurts so much. It's just something that we deal with, but never seems to get any easier." I shrugged and gave her a weak smile.
"Cade struggles with it as well. I hate seeing the two of you so unhappy," she reached out and took a hold of my left hand and examined the engagement ring that I wore, "but on the other hand, you're both so blissful, aren't you?"
I felt my face flush and nodded. Had Cade told his parents about the ring? I still kept it hidden from mine. Even though I was really open with my mother, she would think eighteen too young to be engaged.
"He did a nice job on that, didn't he?" She smiled again, and my breath rushed out in relief.
"Yeah. I… ” I paused, “I wasn't sure if you knew. I don't usually wear it because we have all of those contract restrictions, but it makes him so happy; I thought for these few days, it would be okay."
"He told his father and I that he was going to marry you about half way through the filming.” I gasped and my mouth dropped open at her statement. The shocked expression on my face made her nod gently. “It's quite beautiful, isn’t it? Simple and elegant."
My eyes widened in shock. "Um... he didn't give me the ring until July. The movie wrapped at the beginning of May."
"No matter.” She shrugged. “He told us in March." Her smile was so warm and reached all the way up into her eyes, so much like her son’s.
"But..." I was speechless.
"He said he didn't know how long it would take, but he said you were written on his soul. He seemed extremely determined."
"Wow.” I was speechless. “He's just…” I shrugged incredulously. “Incredible." I felt tears prick the back of my eyes and flood my eyes as I blinked them back quickly. "You must be so proud of all he's accomplished. How long has he been playing music? He sort of downplays everything, like he's only mediocre at everything. Sometimes it completely astonishes me that he doesn't get how wonderful he is. Or how beautiful." My mouth lifted in a gentle smile as I let my breath out, "Hmmph."
Lillian's face softened as she looked at me.
"Well, I'm his mum so I have to think he's fabulous. He's been playing piano since he was about four and he got a guitar as a gift from my brother when he was five and taught himself, really. He's always loved music and he has a brilliant ear. He would play for hours and hours, or go into his room and lock himself away with his records."
"Layla was always the more flamboyant of the children. Caden's more introspective, like Oliver, but he does have his sister’s wit."
I nodded as a smile came to my lips, "When he talks about all of you, it's evident how close you all are. I think that's great. My family is very close, as well."
The door at the end of the hall opened and soon Cade padded his way to join us in the kitchen. He was wearing black jeans and a grey T-shirt, his hair seriously messy, but incredibly sexy.
So fucking hot. Jesus. My body quickened just looking at him and I blushed. I bent my head and scratched the back of my neck, hoping to hide my reaction from his mother.
Cade was rubbing his stubbly face as he came in and walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, bending to kiss the side of my neck, as I remained on the stool. My eyes shot to meet Lillian’s. My mind resisted the PDA in front of his mother, yet my heart and body craved even more.
He felt so good, and I closed my eyes as he rested his chin on top of my head. My arms covered his of their own volition.
"Do you want something to eat, darling?" Lillian asked him.
"Not quite yet, Mum. Thank you. What are you girls out here jabbering about?" His lips curved in a boyish grin.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I teased. "I was just telling your mother how absolutely wonderful your family is."
He leaned in and placed a soft, open-mouthed kiss on my lips then moved to the stool next to mine, but kept my hand firmly in his the whole time.
"What are your plans today, Caden? Your father had to go in to work, but wanted to know if you and Brooklyn would be around for dinner," Lillian asked as she brought Cade his coffee.
"I wanted to take Brook to my flat, to show her what an utter slob I am.” He offered a boyish grin. “But the bloody paparazzi always hounding us will prevent us from going out and doing anything else. We can't let it out that Brook’s in London," he said as he added some cream to his cup.
"And I have to be at the airport later tonight, Cade," I reminded sadly.
His hand squeezed mine and he turned to face me. "Can't you stay longer? What is it you're running back to?" His brow dropped over his eyes as he searched my face.
"You know I'd stay if I could, but I have a meeting with the director of that urban flick and I don't even know when that will be. Jeanne is still trying to nail it down, but I've got to be available just in case. I guess with these temperamental directors, you never know their schedules."
"That seems bloody inconvenient and inconsiderate!" Cade huffed indignantly.
"Caden," his mother admonished him.
"What, Mum? It is, isn't it?" His expression was agitated.
I laid my free hand on his arm. "Yes, but I really want this part. More importantly, Jeanne tells me I really want it. I have to trust her, since I barely know what I’m doing. After I’m better known, maybe I'll have more leverage.”
My eyes pleaded with his for his understanding.
"Yes, it’s just— Well, you just bloody got here and now you're leaving me already?"
I laid my head on his shoulder without saying a word as my fingers twined through his.
Suddenly Layla ran into the kitchen, flustered and frantic.
"Jesus, Cade! Tina is in the drive! How in bloody hell did she know you were home?"
Cade's eyes widened, "Uh, no idea. I didn’t tell anyone." He glanced uneasily in my direction and it was clear he was wondering how we should handle it. Obviously, she couldn't know I was in London because she might leak the information to the press.
"I'll just go in your room, okay?" I pointed down the hall.
"Brook, you shouldn't have to do that." Cade said softly just as the doorbell rang.
"She has a nerve for showing her face around here after all this time, and how she dumped you," Layla huffed.
Dumped him? The girl must be on crack. "Cade, its fine. Okay?" I put a hand to his face and kissed his mouth. He nodded as I turned to walk away down the hall at the same time Lillian went to answer the door.
"Don't worry dear, we'll shoo her off, toot sweet," Lillian reassured me and I nodded and smiled at her as I left the room.
"Fuuuuuuck!" I heard Cade say behind me, and I smirked at his frustration. At least I knew he wasn't excited to see his old girlfriend.
MY HEART ACHED as I watched Brooklyn disappear into my room and close the door behind her. I didn't want to hide her or my feelings for her. I was fucking sick of this whole charade and our relationship was so new, I didn’t want any chance for misunderstandings.
My mum came back into the kitchen closely followed by my ex-girlfriend, Christina Baines. We'd dated for a few years when we were both in drama school together. She wasn't as pretty as I remembered, though maybe it was my pissy mood because she’d arrived without an invitation. Was my perception clouded because Brook was a few yards away or because Tina had ended our relationship unceremoniously two years previously, before I’d made it big? It had stung when it happened, but it was probably more of a blow to my ego than actual pain at the loss.
Layla leaned up against the counter with her arms crossed, not attempting to hide her disdain. She raised one eyebrow then rolled her eyes.
"Well... Tina, to what do we owe this fascinating honor?" Layla asked sarcastically.
"Layla," Mum admonished her quietly.
"Hmmph," she said and turned to begin loading dishes into the washer, clanking the glasses so much I thought they might shatter.
"I um, heard Cade was in town for Christmas and I thought...” Tina shrugged. “That well, we might catch up. It's been such a long time." She came to me and put her arms around my waist. I brought my hands on her shoulders as she tried to place a quick kiss on my lips. I turned my head and pushed her away so it landed on my cheek, hearing her sharp intake of breath.
I quickly pulled back and separated from her. "Yes, it's nice to see you, but I'm only here for a short time and my schedule is rather full, actually."
I knew my voice was flat and dismissive, and I didn't care. I was in fact lying through my teeth. I was in London indefinitely—until I could figure out a reason to fly to L.A. to be with Brook which would also satisfy the bloody studio.
"Um, well are you going to go see Daniel’s band play or anything? Maybe I can come with you. I've really missed you." She bit her lip and moved closer, her hand coming out to touch my stomach.
"More like you've decided to hitch a ride on Cades's recent blast into the stratosphere, yeah?" Layla interjected. "Well, he's done perfectly well without you up till now, and he doesn’t need any dead weight. Get the picture?"
My lips twitched in an involuntary smile; it was all I could do not to burst out laughing at her remarks. I adored how Layla stepped in to protect Brook's interests, and it was hilarious as hell. I crossed my arms and raised my eyes to meet Tina's. Her steel grey eyes hardened at my sister’s comment.
I cleared my throat. "Um, yes, I'm doing quite well. Things are busy and we'll be filming the sequel soon. I've also just read for another project in New York afterward, so I may not even be in London much after the end of February, Tina. What have you been up to?"
Jesus, what can I do to get her to leave? What must Brook be thinking, sitting alone in my room?
"Still working on my art. I have a friend who shows my stuff in her gallery as a matter of course, now."
"Congratulations. That's brilliant for you." My words were stilted. I didn't have anything to say to her and I was pandering.
"Can you come out for a while today, love? Maybe we can walk in the park or have tea?"
"Um...," I stuttered.
"Oh, for God's sake!" Layla threw up her hands and turned to face Tina abruptly. "What my brother is too much of a gentleman to say is that he's seeing an American girl, so there really is no point to your little attempt at weaseling back in his life.” Her eyes widened dramatically as her hands spread in front of her. “He's clearly not interested! Are you bloody blind?"
I almost choked at Layal’s bluntness. She’d never liked Tina and she didn't make an effort to hide the fact.
Tina looked at me with shocked eyes. "Cade, is that true?"
"Yes, I'm seeing someone." I nodded.
"Who is she? Anyone I know?" She wanted details.
"Now that my life is no longer my own with the press chasing me around everywhere, I don't share many details of my personal life, but it's... it's serious."
"That's a bloody understatement, if I ever heard one," Layla spouted. "Suffice it to say that the woman in question is in no doubt of Cade's adoration."
My eyes flashed to Layla and her face was full of mischief. She was bloody enjoying herself and my mum stood in the corner with a hand over her mouth, completely speechless.
"I see. Well, how does she feel about you? You can't have more than what we shared, right love. I mean, no one could love you more than me."
“Wrong!” Layla interjected shaking her head, her dark blonde hair moving around her shoulders.
I frowned. I had no desire to hurt Tina, but I was growing tired of this conversation and I was conscious of Brook in the bedroom.
"Look, I apologize Tina. I really didn't expect to see you and I don't want to be rude, but I did have plans today. As far as my feelings for this woman, I can assure you, that I love her more than I've ever loved anyone," I hesitated only briefly as Tina's face fell, "and I'm in no doubt that she returns my feelings."
Layla's face broke into a huge ass grin. "There! You see? Does that about do it, then? Good, have a nice day won’t you, Tina? It's been so um, annoying of you to stop by without ringing up first." Layla was motioning her to the door. "Happy Christmas!"
"Layla, that's harsh," I said quietly.
Tina shook her head and the look in her eyes was hurt, but what did she expect, really? I hadn't talked to her in eighteen months.
"Okay. I'll go. But Cade, I do care for you so if you change your mind..." her words fell off as she walked out of the door.
"Bloody lucky she didn't bring you another one of those hideous paintings of hers. Complete rubbish! Though I did quite enjoy the bonfire we made of the last ones," Layla said dryly. "The nerve of that nag coming here like that."
We all burst out laughing. "Layla! I love you!" I hugged her close.
"What? Is it my fault that I've the bigger bullocks of the two of us, then? You can thank me later, little brother. I rather like a Mercedes or Jaguar, but not in some hideous orange or yellow," she smirked at me and I continued to chuckle as I went to my room to get my girl. I needed to get my hands on her for the fourteen hours we still had before she jetted away from me again.
IT’D BEEN ANOTHER tearful goodbye at Heathrow airport. I'd ridden with Layla to drop Brook off and we’d both lost it again, clinging to each other until the absolute last possible moment before she had to leave or miss her plane. Bodyguards in street clothes waited by the cu
rb to inconspicuously escort her from the car. She put her hoodie up and pushed on a pair of sunglasses despite the lateness of the hour, bowing her head as she walked quickly through the doors and they closed in around her.
My chest hurt and I couldn't breathe as Layla and I returned to my parent’s house.
"Are you doing okay, Cade?" Layla asked as I stared out the window while she drove through the streets of London.
"Yeah. I just have to get a flat in L.A. It bloody guts me to say goodbye to her, never knowing when I'll see her again. It rips my heart out."
"What did she give you for Christmas? I was there when Mum opened the box from her, so I know she sent you something. What was it?"
"Oh.” I smiled, my heart swelling despite my sadness. “A journal she habitually wrote in when we were filming. She carried it with her constantly and wrote the director’s notes in it and some of the scene changes we came up with. I never thought twice about it, but now I find she was also writing notes to me, even some full blown letters about the feelings and conflicts she was facing. So, she let me have access to all of those emotions that she was experiencing. It blew me away. She's shown me that she has loved me the entire time I've loved her. It's... amazing. It literally stops my heart when I read it, Layla."
"That's very special. It's obvious how gone she is about you. You know that, don't you?"
I nodded and swallowed, trying to assuage the lump rising in my throat. "Yes. It's a miracle; the biggest miracle of my life. I sometimes still have to shake myself when I'm with her. Our time together is so unbelievable. I can’t even explain how she makes me feel."
I ran my hand through my hair as I watched the planes taking off, wondering which of them Brook was on. I knew in that second I wouldn't be staying away from her for very long.
"I'm calling Denise in the morning and having her arrange a flat and a car for me in L.A., and then I'm going to surprise Brook for New Year's. There’s no bloody way I'm going to stay away from her until the Tokyo Premiere two and a half months from now. "