They did not speak on the drive home, words were unnecessary, and would break the magic aura surrounding them. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel, the other draped across Daphne’s shoulders.
His goodnight kiss at the door was a long one.
“I’m sorry I can’t invite you in for tea, but...”
“Shh, it’s all right, Sunshine, I understand.” He put a finger to her lips, thinking it was for the best anyway. Once he got inside he would want to stay. They would have to be married soon. He wanted her so desperately he feared losing his head one of these nights and asking more of her than he should.
“I love you so much I’m frightened something is going to spoil things for us.”
“Silly girl.” Regretfully he put her aside. “I’ll pick you up about ten so we can shop around for a ring before lunch. After work, we could have supper somewhere.”
“I usually sleep in at the hospital.”
“Oh, my darling, when am I supposed to see you?”
“If you like you could meet me after I finish, I only sleep at the hospital to save going home alone.”
“I’m a selfish swine.” He pulled her back into his arms and held her close, resting his chin on her soft, shiny hair. How good it smelt. “It’s just that I want you with me all the time. I hate the idea of sharing you, even with your work. I’ll be a jealous, possessive husband.”
“I’ll be that way myself, but if there’s anything you have to do on your own, travel for work, I mean, I wouldn’t stand in your way.”
“You’re sweet and unselfish, but we can travel together, anywhere we have a mind to.”
* * *
When Paul arrived next morning he wore a navy suit. His kiss, a long lingering one, sent her heart cart-wheeling.
“How’s my sweet girl today?”
“Very well thank you.” Her tone was prim and proper, but her smile was teasing.
They went to an exclusive jeweler and looked at several trays of rings.
“These are too expensive. I wouldn’t expect you to spend so much money on me.” She moved towards the most inexpensive tray; even these prices were more than her father would earn in weeks.
Under his urging she decided on a solitaire diamond ring, with an emerald on either side. Paul also bought a matching heart shaped emerald pendant on a fine gold chain. He put the pendant on her straight away and slipped the ring into his pocket.
Daphne had often passed by the Windsor Hotel, but had never gone inside. It was near Parliament House. Robert Menzies, the Australian Prime Minister, refused to stay anywhere else. These hallowed walls had seen the English Test cricketers, and the old, established pastoral families always stayed here.
Paul must have made a reservation. She felt like royalty as the Maitre de escorted them to a table. Her eyes swiveled upwards to the huge cupola lights, ten feet in diameter at least. Paul laughed at her obvious awe.
What a delight it would be to take Daphne to Paris and Rome, as long as Adolf Hitler and his Nazis stayed in Germany. She was so sweet and unspoiled he must guard her carefully once they returned to England, and keep her out of his father’s clutches.
He hated dropping her off at the hospital and driving home alone. To kill time until she finished work, he would attend to the business side of things and check if the factory had put on any of the men from the soup kitchen.
No way would he tell anyone at home about Daphne. He would arrive with her as his bride. Then it would be too late for the old man to do anything to thwart his plans.
* * *
Every evening when Paul picked her up from the hospital, they would go for a light supper somewhere or drive to an inner suburban beach. They sometimes strolled through the city streets admiring the Christmas decorations and each night it became harder to part from him.
Three days before the start of her holidays, they planned to eat at a quiet little restaurant not far from Ian’s place.
“Why don’t we walk. It’s such a nice evening,” she suggested slipping her arm through his. It was a magical night. Shining stars popped out from the black velvet sky, and the breeze was enough to cool the heat still rising from the pavement.
When they arrived at the restaurant she was shocked. They refused to let Paul in because he wore slacks with an open necked shirt.
“Who the bloody hell do they think they are?”
It was obvious he had never been turned way from a restaurant before. Furious, he strode off, and she had to run after him.
“You could offer me some tea.” She tried to placate him when they got to Ian’s place.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ian’s away until after Christmas.” They stood outside Ian’s gate. “He’s housekeeper doesn’t live in.”
“I trust you.” She pushed the gate open and walked through. He followed a step or two behind her.
“Well, you shouldn’t, because I don’t trust myself. I’m mad for you.” He pulled her into a darkened corner of the garden, and his lips were fierce, hungry and determined.
“Paul, I love you so much.”
Common sense warned her they should not go into an empty house together, but she hated their hurried meetings, and the pain of separating after such a short time. Holding hands they sauntered up on to the porch. He unlocked the front door. She hesitated before following him over the threshold.
“What a charming room.” She glanced appreciatively around the sitting room.
“It’s not bad.” His nonchalant acceptance of what she considered luxury was rather disconcerting.
“Would you like me to make our tea?” she asked.
He gave a sudden cheeky little boy grin. “I’m not used to doing for myself, but I can make a decent brew. Could even cook you some toast, if you like.”
“No, just the tea please.”
When he returned Daphne sat in one corner of the couch with her eyes closed, her feet tucked up underneath her. How young and vulnerable she seemed. He hated the fact she worked so hard. It was pure selfishness expecting to see her every night, instead of letting her go straight home to bed. If the Clarke’s agreed, they could be married before the New Year and there would be no need for her to go back to the hospital again.
“Daphne,” he spoke her name softly.
“Oh, you were quick.”
“I thought you were asleep.”
“No, just resting my eyes.” She made to move.
“Don’t, if you’re comfortable.” He sat next to her on the couch and picked up her hand.
She swung her legs down to the floor and he glanced at her tiny, shapely feet. Everything about Daphne was dainty and she wore an air of fragility tonight that he hadn’t noticed before.
“Tea, all right?” he queried.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Biscuit?”
She shook her head.
“They’re your favorite, chocolate,” he persisted.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Aren’t you well?” He drew her hand to his lips. “What is it?” Tell me, sweetheart.”
“I shouldn’t be here like this.” She gave a hunted look around and set her cup on a small side table. “If anyone ever found out my reputation would be ruined.”
“No one will find out.” He pulled her into his arms and felt a tremor of apprehension run through her. “Just a few kisses before I take you home.”
What was meant to be a session of light lovemaking, soon turned into a thing of passion, as he kissed her mouth, her eyes, and the warm vulnerable softness of her throat. He nibbled at her ear lobe, his breath teasing the hair at the side of her neck.
“I’m just about out of my mind with wanting you,” he groaned hoarsely.
He heard her take a short, sharp breath as he maneuvered them until they lay full length on the couch, then he undid the buttons on her blouse and brushed it aside. He slipped her brassiere down, freeing her creamy white breasts. His passion ignited, burning fiercely, completely out of contr
ol now.
He kissed her breasts each in turn, circling the nipple and areola with his tongue. Drawing her left nipple into his mouth because it was the closest one to her heart, he suckled it hard, quickly bringing it to life. Never had he tasted anything as sweet as this tight, rosy bud.
She returned his kisses shyly at first, but quickly gaining in confidence. Slipping her hand inside his shirt, she felt his warm, hair-roughened chest against her fingertips. Emboldened, she caressed his nipple, rolling it gently between her thumb and forefinger until he groaned with pleasure.
They were both trembling with emotion as his hand went up under her skirt, so his fingers could scorch a fiery trail across the quivering flesh of her thighs. She felt him removing her stockings, and her undergarments soon followed. When he eased back a fraction, so he could gaze upon her naked body, she felt no shame only exhilaration and excitement, because his blazing eyes told her, he liked what he saw.
His hands and mouth began a thorough exploration. Not one inch of her body was left unexplored, no secret left unshared. A sudden raging inferno of desire engulfed her. White hot, it seared into her soul and she closed her eyes to block out the heat. A million stars exploded inside her head, so bright did they shine, that she didn’t know how she could endure such brilliance.
Frantically he dragged off his clothes. He came down on top of her, his hands smoothing a path between her thighs so his fingers could gently probe the soft folds of her inner sanctum, until the bud of her ripening womanhood blossomed under his touch.
“Paul.” Momentarily she cried out in pain, but this was soon forgotten as they rocked together in a frenzy of passion, each taking, giving, but still wanting more. With an agonized groan he withdrew just before reaching his ultimate climax.
“I can’t risk getting you pregnant,” he rasped at her shocked intake of breath. “Withdrawing from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life.” He lifted her tears away with his tongue.
“I’d be proud to have your baby.”
“But not before our marriage, huh. Your father and brothers would be after me with a shotgun for sure if I did. Probably go for me now, too, if they knew. You aren’t sorry are you, my love? I mean, that we anticipated our wedding night.”
“No.” Her lips trembled now the passionate fire had burned itself out.
“Hell, I should have waited, but I couldn’t.” He caressed her hair.
“You do really love me? You haven’t lost respect for me?”
“I love you, Daphne and I’ll always respect you. Don’t make me take you home tonight. I never want to be parted from you again.”
He stood up and reached for his pants. “I’ll go upstairs and get you something to put on. Afraid I don’t have a nightgown to loan you. Will a pajama top do?”
“Yes.” Her answer came out in a husky whisper.
As soon as he left, she covered her nakedness with her discarded petticoat. With shaking fingers she tried to tidy up her tousled hair. Dear God. Why hadn’t she stopped him before his passion got out of control?
“Don’t blame him,” the little voice of honesty asserted itself. “You wanted his lovemaking. You craved it. Didn’t want it to end.” Would anyone notice that her innocence was gone, because she had been fully awakened by Paul? If her parents noticed, would they be disappointed that she hadn’t waited to give her virginity to her husband on her wedding night?
He returned and, without a word, draped a dark silk robe about her shoulders and spun her around to face him. “I’m sorry, my darling. I should have waited.” He held her close, and Daphne rested her face against his warm, still naked chest.
Hours later, she lay wide-awake with Paul’s arm draped across her waist. She felt dog-tired, yet sleep was impossible. His breathing sounded regular and even, and it hurt that he could sleep so soon after what they shared. It would be different for a man, all this was so new and wondrous to her, whereas for him. She shivered. Would he soon tire of her youthful inexperience and turn to the arms of more sophisticated, exciting women like Kitty?
Daphne tried not to torture herself with such thoughts, but she felt so unsure of this newly found emotion. She wanted to shake him awake, so he would comfort her with words of love.
* * *
Daphne woke up to the sound of crockery. Still dazed, she blinked several times on seeing Paul walking into the room with a breakfast tray. What was she doing here? Suddenly she remembered last night and embarrassed heat burned her cheeks.
“Good morning,” he greeted her with a cheerful grin.
“Hello.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.” He sat on the bed to kiss her mouth. “You look beautiful. Breakfast in bed because I wanted to spoil you.”
There was cereal, toast and marmalade, and a cup of tea. “I’ve already eaten.” He answered her unspoken query. “Might take a stroll to the corner shop for a paper. I want to see how things are going in Europe. Anything I can get you?”
“No thanks, I’ll have to go home for fresh clothes before I go to work.”
By the time she ate, bathed and dressed it was after eleven. Goodness, how the morning flew when you slept in late. She was normally an early riser, had to be, to get everything done on time.
What a wonderful house Ian had, with heaps of modern conveniences. Obviously, he was wealthy too. Would all his friends be like this? Would she, a nurse from a working class background, be able to fit into their careless, moneyed lifestyle? And what of his father? Would an aristocratic Englishman welcome her into the family? Not likely.
Paul sat in the sitting room reading a morning paper, but he stood when she entered. “Well, it doesn’t take you long to get up and about.” Surprise clearly registered on his face.
She supposed the type of women he usually associated with would take ages with their makeup and dress before presenting themselves to him. Some of these thoughts must have shown on her face.
“I can’t change what happened in my past, it’s only the future you need concern yourself with.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know, darling, but you have expressive eyes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m being an absolute beast, but I love you so much, I’m jealous of all your previous girlfriends.” The last few words came out in a breathy little rush.
“Don’t be, you’re the only girl I want now.” He kissed her mouth, and Daphne pressed herself closer as he tried to move away.
Passion flared between them. His tongue moved across her teeth, and his hand came up to cup her breast. By the time he pulled away he was breathing heavily.
“That’s enough.” Desire darkened his eyes to ebony. He raked trembling fingers through his hair. “I’d better take you home, while I’ve still got the willpower to do so. If we go back upstairs, there’s no way you would make it to work on time.”
“Paul!”
He laughed at her embarrassment. “It’s true. We’ll have lunch after we’ve been to your place.”
Once in the car, they did not drive off straight away, instead he took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. “Daphne, there’s something I have to tell you about myself. I should have done so before, I tried to tell you a couple of times but we always seemed to get interrupted.”
“What is it?” Fear blazed in her eyes.
“The longer I left it, the harder it got.”
“You’re married.” Those two agonized little words tore at his heart, and he suddenly realized how much she had given him last night.
“No, I’m not married.”
She sagged against him in relief.
“It started out as a joke, at Ian’s suggestion, but I’m a bloody idiot for going along it. When you marry me, you won’t be Mrs. Thomas, you’ll be Mrs. Ashfield.”
“What?”
“My full name is Paul Thomas Ashfield.”
“Is that all? I thought it must have been something terrible.”
“Tell me you’re not angry.�
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She nibbled her lip. “I did tell Mum and Dad your name was Thomas.”
“I’ll explain to them, of course.” He didn’t tell her his other secret. He was too fearful of losing her if she knew that the woman married to his father was, in fact, not his mother. Nothing like illegitimacy to scare people off. I can’t even tell her who my real mother is. He felt suddenly desperate. Later on, after they were married, he would explain what little he knew about his birth.
When they reached the boarding house, he did not let her out of the car at once. “Daphne.”
“Yes.”
“Stay with me at Ian’s until we go to Wangaratta.”
“Paul…”
“Please, Sunshine.” He always lowered his voice when he used her pet name, it somehow added to the intimacy between them. “We’ll be married soon. I can’t bear to let you out of my sight for long. No one need know. Everyone at the boarding house will think you’re staying at the hospital and vice versa. We can leave for your parents’ place in the morning. It will give us an earlier start.”
“I don’t know, it seems, somehow sordid.”
“Please, Daphne, we love each other. I liked waking up in the morning to find you next to me. Once we get to Wangaratta it wouldn’t be decent, not in your parents’ home, and it might be a couple of weeks before we can marry.”
“All right,” she finally gave in to his pleading.
He waited in the guest sitting room while Daphne changed and packed her case for home. When she returned they went to see Mrs. Rogers.
“I’ll be staying at the hospital until I go home,” Daphne said. “Paul’s coming back with me to meet my parents. I might have something to tell you when I return.”
“I think you might too. Your young man can’t take his eyes off you.”
“It’s a secret.” Daphne laughed. “Paul has to speak to my parents first. What I mean is…”
“You can trust me. Have a Merry Christmas, dear.”
“Thanks, same to you.”
A Mortal Sin Page 6