“I dashed down to Melbourne to tell you, after we realized what had happened.
I could even forgive you for rushing into the arms of another woman within hours of leaving me, but Kitty. You took her to the bed we shared. That was the vilest act of all.”
“Daphne!”
She twisted free of him and walked away, leaving him to stand there. By the time he arrived back at his own table Daphne and her friends were leaving.
“I’m sorry about rushing you all off like this, just drop me off at home, I, I don’t feel well,” Daphne said in a wobbly, pain filled voice.
“We could have coffee somewhere,” Helen suggested obviously dying to find out what had happened on the terrace.
“I’d like to apologize for my disgraceful behavior before, Daphne, I don’t know what came over me.”
“Don’t worry about it, Roy, I acted like an idiot, too.”
If he asked her out again she would refuse him, it was better that way. They lapsed into silence. Even Helen, sitting next to them in the back of the car seemed disinclined to talk. Only Bill kept up a stream of frivolous chatter none of them cared about.
Chapter Ten
On Sunday afternoon Daphne and Molly sat on the lawn sipping cool drinks. A car pulled up and Paul stepped out. He wore civilian clothes, smart, lightweight grey slacks and an open necked white silk shirt.
“Good afternoon, ladies.”
“Hello. Am I supposed to know you?”
“Dr Gratton, isn’t it?” Paul gripped the large, almost mannish hand that was thrust at him.
“Yes.”
“I’m Paul Ashfield, Daphne would have mentioned me.”
“Afraid not. Khoo, another drink, please,” Molly instructed the young houseboy.
“A stengah, thanks.” Paul sat down in a cane chair. “How are you Daphne?”
“All right.” The words belied this. She looked pale, her skin almost transparent, and her eyes burned fever-bright.
“She’s been crying half the night.”
“Molly, you’re exaggerating,” Daphne protested.
“No, I’m not, my girl. You’re the one who broke her heart before, aren’t you?”
Paul felt his cheeks burn. This big, raw-boned woman made him feel like a naughty schoolboy. “Yes.”
“She’s already carrying deep scars from you. Don’t inflict any more will you. I’m off inside.”
“You don’t have to go, Molly,” Daphne told her friend.
“It’s time to clear the air once and for all, if you need me, Daph, holler.” Molly stood up.
Paul caught the look the doctor cast Daphne’s way and was shocked by the possessiveness of it.
“You’re too good to me, Molly.”
“Rot.”
“What do you want, Paul?”
“You.” He saw pain flare in her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. My behavior was despicable, but I was shocked out of my mind. Not only did I think you were my sister, but I also discovered I was conceived as a result of rape.”
“What!” Daphne felt faint. If she hadn’t been sitting down she would have collapsed in a screaming heap on the ground.
“It’s true. Allison’s diary said Phillip Ashfield forced himself on her.”
“My God!” Shock shuddered all the way through her. “My God, Paul!” She wrung her hands in anguish. What torture her mother must have endured all those years ago.
“I always felt there was some terrible secret in Mum’s past,” she finally whispered. “When she realized you’d read the diary, she burned it before the rest of us could even look at it.”
Paul left his chair so he could squat down beside her. “I’d cut my right arm off if it would undo the pain I inflicted on you. Please, can’t we start again? Let me take you somewhere tonight, I know of a good club.”
“I don’t think so, thanks. You don’t need me when half the girls in Singapore are lusting after you.”
“Damn it.” He slapped his forehead with an open palm. “You’ve been listening to scurrilous gossip. I didn’t rush into Kitty’s arms, either.”
“Liar,” she accused. “I went to Ian’s to find you, and Kitty answered the door in her nightgown.”
“I didn’t go to Ian’s place straight away. I swear it. I stayed at a hotel for a few days drinking myself senseless.”
“Kitty said you were in bed.”
“She bloody well lied.” He played his ace, the only one he had. “Tomorrow I’m going up to Kahang in Central Johore. The Australian 29th Battalion is near by.”
“Robbie?”
“Yes, I could arrange for you to see him.”
“How did you know about him?” she asked wide-eyed.
“I made enquiries about you, and one of the nurses at the 113th A.G.H proved most helpful.”
“Helen?”
“Yes. Robert Clarke, “A” Company, 29th Australian Infantry Battalion.” He nodded his thanks to the boy for the drink, took a quick sip and put it on the table. “Where’s Tom?”
“The Middle East somewhere. He’s in the Artillery. How long have you been here?”
“Since the end of July. Before that,” he grimaced, “deskbound in England.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, my father tried to keep me there. I volunteered to come here, finally, couldn’t stomach a desk job when so many other chaps were getting killed. Right after I left you, I went to Singapore and worked here for a while. I couldn’t go back to England and face the old man, not so soon after what I’d found out. Anyway, I’ve got local knowledge the army can use, so when I found out a school chum of mine was a colonel out here it was easy. He pulled strings and my father couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. So here I am.”
“Did you tell your father what you’d found out about Mum?”
“I wasn’t ever going to speak to him again, but he had a heart attack. They thought he might die and sent for me. What could I do? I did ask him. You know what he said?”
“Tried to lie his way out of it, I suppose?”
“No, he didn’t. He said he loved her. No woman had ever spurned his advances before, so in the heat of the moment he lost control. He was sorry afterwards, regretted it bitterly ever since.”
“What a weak excuse. How Mum must have suffered. Yet she’s not bitter.”
“Will you come with me tomorrow, Daphne?”
“Yes, you know I will, unless Molly needs me.”
“She spends most Mondays on hospital visits.”
“You have been checking up.”
“And tonight, you’ll come out with me? We could go for a quiet meal, if you prefer. You’re the religious one. Forgiveness is scattered right through the Bible if I remember correctly.”
“Helen says the nurses call you Sir Paul. You don’t go out with anyone below the rank of captain. I’m not even in the army, not English either, so how would I rate?”
“You’re being bloody stupid. For God’s sake, you want me to shave my head and don sackcloth. Is that it?”
“No, but I don’t want to be hurt again.”
“I won’t hurt you, Daphne. I love you.”
“How many women have you told that too?”
“None.”
Her laughter was high pitched, bordering on hysterical. “Don’t lie to me, Paul, I couldn’t stand it. I wouldn’t be able to survive if you betrayed me again.”
Her face was white with distress, her lips trembling and vulnerable, and in a simple pink cotton dress she looked about fifteen.
“Listen to me.” He grasped her hands and held them tightly. “There have been other women, quite a number. Beautiful too. I liked them, but I never mentioned the word love to any of them.”
“You slept with them?”
“Yes, I did with some. I’m a single, healthy man with the usual male urges, and I’ve never claimed to be a monk. How are things at home?”
“Mum and Dad were terribly upset when Robbie ran away to join up. We didn’t hear anything from him for ov
er a year.”
“Stupid young devil.”
“I think he’s beginning to wish he hadn’t been so rash. He’s not like Tom, who was always restless and craving excitement. Robbie felt he should do his bit for our country.”
“You know something, Daphne. When I found out Allison Clarke was my mother I felt terrible because of you, but if it hadn’t been for that, I couldn’t have chosen anyone nicer myself. I really believe that as much as my father could love a woman, he did love her. My stepmother Isobel is neurotic, was from the start of their marriage apparently. He’s certainly rued the day he met and married her.”
“Perhaps that’s his punishment for what he did. It’s strange, you know what hurt Mum most about the whole affair?”
“No.”
“Your father deprived her of having Tommy Calvert’s baby. He was her one true love. For years she thought there was nothing of him left, that’s why there’s a special bond between her and Tom. In normal circumstances, a woman being confronted with her husband’s illegitimate offspring would be devastated, but she was glad.
“What are you saying? Tom’s not her son?”
“No. Tommy Calvert had a fling the night before he left for the Great War; he and Mum had argued and Tom’s the result of that. Tom’s mother died and Mum ended up with him. She always loved Tommy, they were soul mates. She showed me all of his letters once. They were really poignant. They were married only ten days before he went overseas and never came back. Her brother got killed too, and she was left to struggle on all alone.”
“Your father, um, Frank?”
“She loves Dad, I know it, he does too, but not in the same way as Tommy. With his dying breath Tommy tried to make things easier for his Allison, but only made them worse. Do you know how your father got you away from Dixon’s Siding?”
“No. I read the letter he must have taken from young Calvert. It was covered in blood. It contained a photo too, but I never saw it, that’s why I came to Australia originally. I traced Allison Calvert to Dixon’s Siding and to a dead end. I met you a few days later and gave up the search. Back then, I couldn’t understand why she let my father take me away, but after finding out how I was conceived, well...”
“No, you mustn’t think like that. Mum loved you. She really did. Your father virtually kidnapped you. He couldn’t marry Mum, so he wanted to set her up as his mistress.”
“What!”
“It’s true. Mum told me she was prepared to go even on those terms rather than lose you, but I came on the scene to complicate matters further. Your father gave her an ultimatum, leave me or he’d go to England without her. My real mother and Allison were close friends, and she had promised to care for me. She would have taken me to England, too, but your father took off without us.”
“Why didn’t she go to the police?” His mouth twisted slightly
“When Tommy Calvert lay dying on the battlefield he confessed to Phillip about killing Allison’s drunken father. Phillip threatened to have Mum implicated.”
Paul’s face blanched. “I knew the old man could be ruthless, but I never thought even he was capable of stooping to something so diabolical.”
They sat without speaking for a time, each with their own thoughts. Paul finally broke the silence between them.
“Will you come out with me tonight? I know of a nice little place called the Tanglin Club that stays open until four in the morning. There are lots of places to see here. I could take you to the theatre, anywhere you like.” He sounded quite boyish in his endeavor to please.
“I’ll go to dinner with you, but somewhere quiet, please.”
“Pick you up about eight?”
“Yes, that will be nice.” Daphne sat watching until he drove away then slowly walked inside.
“You going out with him?” Molly met her in the hallway.
“Yes. Common sense tells me not to, but my heart won’t listen. I think I’ll have a lie down, I feel exhausted.”
Molly stared after this pretty, frail looking girl. Ever since they first met at the QueenVictoriaHospital, she had felt protective towards Daphne.
Men had never interested her. Self-centered bastards only wanted pretty, flighty little things. She was thirty-eight and had rarely been out with a man. Would never find a husband now. Never know the joy of bearing a child.
People thought her an oddity but she didn’t care. Her caustic tongue, mannish hairstyle and manner, would never endear her to the British populace. Daphne and her native patients were the panacea for all the snubs and slights she endured. No, Paul Ashfield would not add Daphne to his list of conquests in the Far East.
Daphne hadn’t gone into much detail about his previous betrayal, but it didn’t take a genius to guess what happened. I won’t let that bloody snob get away with doing it again. Poor, sweet Daphne had suffered enough already.
* * *
Right on eight o’clock, Paul arrived wearing a dark lounge suite. Daphne wore a plain oatmeal colored crepe dress, with a little governess jacket of jade taffeta over it.
“You look beautiful.” His appreciative male eyes appraised her. “Ready?” He put out his arm and she took it. As they left, Molly stared straight into Paul’s face.
Snobbish bastard, she thought. “Have a nice evening,” she said.
“Thanks, I won’t be too late,” Daphne promised.
As soon as they drove off Molly picked up the phone. Given time and the right circumstances, Daphne would get over Paul Ashfield. Major Paul Ashfield was not going to hurt her again, not while there’s breath left in my body, she vowed.
The small, intimate club overlooked the sea. Daphne, who had never been here before, glanced around with interest. There was a softly lit garden courtyard with several large palm trees and tropical plants.
“It’s beautiful, Paul.”
A Japanese waiter in a spotless white uniform greeted them on arrival.
“Major Paul Ashfield.”
“This way, Sir.” He spoke deferentially, but Daphne, glancing up as he held the chair out, caught something akin to hatred burning in his eyes. What had Molly said? Japanese were infiltrating legitimate businesses to spy on government and military officials. She gave an apprehensive shiver.
“Will you let me order for you?” Paul’s fingers stroked her knuckles.
“Yes, please.”
“Grapefruit first followed by soup.”
Daphne ate hungrily. Her appetite had been wretched since her arrival in Singapore. She always blamed it on the climate, but everything tasted different tonight because Paul was here.
The orchestra played a soft romantic number. It was a dream come true to be back in his strong arms once more. She rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes to savor his nearness, inhale his special male scent and feel the heat emanating from his body. Please, God, don’t let him hurt me again, I couldn’t survive it a second time.
His breath stirred her short hair, when he whispered. “The music has stopped, Sunshine.”
He held her hand as they made their way back to their table. He briefly acknowledged the greetings of several couples he obviously knew, but made no attempt to join them.
“This place is wonderful.” She paused from eating a delicious asparagus roll.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
Her mouth was curved into a soft, sweet smile and her hand touched his often, as they ate. He groaned inwardly as he fought to suppress the tumultuous feelings she aroused in him. God, he wanted her desperately.
“Coffee and liqueur?” he asked.
“Just coffee thanks.”
He ordered two coffees, plus a brandy for himself. He was desperate to take her somewhere so they might make love for the rest of the night, but dared not suggest it.
How could he blame her for being suspicious of him under the circumstances? She had every reason to distrust him and that’s why he decided not to tell her about Caroline Bowater. Why the hell did he ever let himself be man
euvered into getting engaged to her? He would have to do the decent thing and write to Caroline, asking to be released from the arrangement.
He kissed Daphne briefly when they returned to the doctor’s house that evening. The feel of her soft, tremulous lips nearly drove him insane, but he resisted the desperate urge to crush them beneath his own, to take all her sweetness and keep it for himself.
* * *
The next morning Paul called for Daphne in a staff car complete with a uniformed private as driver. The day was steamy, and Paul, in his uniform looked hot and sweaty, even though he would obviously have bathed recently.
Daphne felt cool and quite elegant in a bright floral dress, a white straw picture hat perched on her head.
It was a long drive, with several detours required, until a last they came to a native village. If it hadn’t been for the army vehicles parked outside the thatched huts, she would never have known it was a military establishment.
“I radioed through to Rob’s Company Commander; he’ll be meeting us here. I’ll be with you in a moment, Private.”
“Yes Sir.” He was young and he grinned good-naturedly at Daphne, but spoke only when addressed directly.
There was a slight arrogance about Paul. She had noticed it with the waiter last night. When he spoke to the soldier, his tones were clipped. The soldiers they encountered on their walk to the H.Q. building were more than a little interested and she smiled warmly at them. How tanned and fit they appeared in khaki shorts and shirts, and slouch hats.
“Where are you from, beautiful?”
She laughed out loud at the question from a swarthy-skinned young soldier.
“Australia.”
“You’re one of us?” Several others edged in closer now.
“Yes,” she told them laughing.
Paul’s lips drew into a thin, angry line. “Insolent young devils,” he muttered.
She shot him a questioning glance. “Why?”
“The Australians are notorious for their insubordination to officers. It’s intolerable.”
“Why should they snap to attention because some English major walks by? They’re not on a parade ground.”
A Mortal Sin Page 11