The smile fell from his lips.
I miss her, God. I can’t believe how much.
He missed the way she looked at him with wonder sometimes, like she couldn’t believe he was there. He missed the way she smelled like sunshine and citrus, the way her eyes danced when she smiled, the way her hair looked all rumpled in the morning. Shoot, he even missed the way she put ketchup on every blame thing she ate.
He missed Olivia too, and wondered if she’d finished the book they’d been reading. If she’d built any snowmen without him. He wouldn’t see her when her braces were removed, wouldn’t see how pretty she looked when she stopped hiding her smile.
Travis slid into his cab and started the vehicle. He was so tired of this ache in his gut. When would it go away? He pounded the steering wheel.
The night before, in a moment of weakness, he’d started a letter to Shay. This morning he’d read it, then wadded it up and tossed it into the nearest garbage can. Shay didn’t want to hear that. She wouldn’t believe him. Didn’t trust him. When would he get that through his thick skull?
The phone vibrated in his dress pants pocket. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But it might be Seth. Maybe he’d left something at the church, forgotten to pay the pianist or save the wedding cake top. He was the best man, still on duty, he supposed.
He checked the screen. Miss Lucy? Travis started to return the phone to his pocket, then stopped. What if something was wrong with Shay? Maybe she’d dropped a salt block on her other foot.
“Hi, Miss Lucy.”
“Hello, young man. Am I interrupting anything?”
“Not at all. Just leaving my friend’s wedding. Headed home now.” Travis put the truck in gear. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, just fine, dear. How’s your job?”
“All right. I’m staying busy enough.” Working someone else’s land wasn’t the same as having your own. Not even close.
“Dylan said you were looking for a place of your own. Any luck finding a spread?”
Travis pulled onto the street. “Not yet. I’ve looked at a few, but nothing that’s calling my name.” He’d started wondering if anything would appeal to him.
“Heard about one you might be interested in.”
He sighed. “Not buying my parents’ place, Miss Lucy.”
“Oh, I wasn’t talking about that. Shay’s ranch is up for sale.”
Travis gripped the steering wheel, frowning. “Shay’s place?”
“As of last month.”
Shay would never willingly sell her place. She’d go to any lengths to keep it. Shoot, hadn’t she let him move in, agreed to live as husband and wife for five months just to keep it?
“Why?” Travis said. He’d gotten her through a rough spot, had even paid up her mortgage a few months ahead.
“I don’t know the particulars, dear. Just saw the sign one day and asked Abigail about it.”
“What’d she say? Is Shay moving away?” Travis asked, then scolded himself for caring.
“Said she was moving into town. Word has it John Oakley put in a lowball offer.”
Travis pressed his lips together. Didn’t the man make enough money at his bank? He had to take advantage of a single mom too? “She accept?”
“Abigail said she countered high. Bet he’ll come back just as low as before.”
What if she didn’t have a choice? How were they going to make ends meet without the ranch? Those baskets she made were great extra income, but that wouldn’t support them.
“Why don’t you just come back, Travis?”
His gut tightened. He missed Shay so much he ached for her. He wondered if Miss Lucy felt like that when she’d lost her husband. He’d thought it might be easier here, hundreds of miles away. But it wasn’t. Who was he kidding?
“I feel just awful about my part in all this,” Miss Lucy said. “And call me crazy, but I still think it was all part of God’s plan. At least think about coming back.”
“Sure.” Travis wanted off the phone. Talking about Shay wasn’t helping. Now he only felt worked up and frustrated.
“That didn’t sound very sincere, young man.”
“Sorry, ma’am.”
“You’ll think about it, then?”
“I will.”
They talked a few minutes more, then said their good-byes.
Why was Shay selling her ranch? He couldn’t come up with any reason other than she had to. Things were tough right now. It was hard for ranchers to make ends meet, much less a single mom trying to run her own spread.
He supposed she’d finally just had enough of stretching her dollars. Moving to town . . . He couldn’t picture it. Couldn’t picture Shay anywhere but out in the country, the sun on her face, the wind in her hair. It was where she belonged.
Travis turned into the ranch drive and headed down the long dirt road toward the bunkhouse he shared with two other cowboys.
And now that weasel from the bank was trying to take advantage of her.
Everything in him wanted to step in. He had the money just sitting in his account. He wouldn’t even miss it. But who’d died and made him her knight in shining armor? She didn’t want his rescue. Would probably spit in his face if he tried.
All right, God. Last time I just jumped right in and did what I wanted. This time I’m asking. What am I supposed to do? I want to do Your will, and I want to help Shay.
But was that all he wanted?
No. He wanted her to hear him out one last time. He wanted her to listen and believe him when he said that he loved her, that he wanted those vows they’d shared to be permanent. He wanted to slip that band onto her finger and tell her she was the love of his life, his first and only. But was that what God wanted?
Travis pulled up to the house and shut off the engine, an idea already forming in his mind. He shrugged the thought away. It wouldn’t work. He’d only have his heart broken again.
Jesus, show me the way. I don’t want to go off half-cocked, and I don’t want to hurt Shay. I want Your will this time, even if that means losing Shay for good.
The idea surged to the front of his mind again. He remembered his mom’s words. Shay was his wife. Surely God wanted them to keep their vows, even if they had been accidental. It seemed pointless to end the marriage when they still loved each other. If Shay still loved him.
He looked around the barren barracks. He didn’t want to share his life with a couple stinky cowboys. He wanted Shay back. He wanted them to be a family, Shay, Olivia, and him. He wanted to share Shay’s bed, to wake up and see her face every morning for the rest of his life. He wanted to hear Olivia call for “Dad” again and know she was calling for him.
Peace settled over him like fog on a spring morning, and he felt God’s blessing clear down to the tips of his cowboy boots. His breaths grew shallow as his heart kicked into gear. The idea took shape, making more sense with each minute that passed. It was a risk, but life was a risk. And besides, God was in control this time.
Travis pulled the cell from his pocket and dialed.
38
Shay watched Olivia and Maddy two-step across the dance floor, laughing when they bumped into each other. Her daughter looked especially happy tonight, and Shay knew it had everything to do with her triumphant moment the day before.
Across the room, Katy O’Neil sat with her mom and dad, her chin propped on her palm. Shay smiled. She was glad she hadn’t called Katy’s parents. Olivia had handled herself just fine.
“What’s that smile about?” Abigail said over the music.
“I was just thinking about something Olivia told me yesterday. She stood up to Katy at recess in front of some other girls, and they took her side.”
Abigail smiled. “Maddy told me.”
“Well, I just hope this puts an end to the teasing. It was getting out of hand.”
“I think it will. Maddy seemed sure of it.”
The loud band made conversation difficult. Shay wondered if it was too loud for h
er baby’s developing ears. She folded her arms over the bump of her growing belly just in case.
The smell of grilled steak stirred her appetite. She wished she could afford it, but the burger basket would have to suffice. It seemed all she’d done lately was eat. Especially beef. Even Olivia was tiring of grilled burgers.
Two tables over, Ida Mae and Vern stared at her. Shay looked away, her cheeks warming, and caught the eyes of Pappy Barnes. Or was he looking at her? Maybe he was looking at someone over her shoulder.
No doubt word had circulated that she was pregnant. And since three and a half months had passed since the rodeo finals, everyone knew Travis wasn’t coming back. Shay straightened in her chair and sucked in a breath of courage.
“For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God?”
Facing her neighbors hadn’t been easy. She carried the verse wherever she went, her security blanket, ready to be whipped out at a moment’s notice. And she’d been finding plenty of those moments lately.
Abigail leaned in on her elbows. “What’s wrong?”
“People are staring.”
Abigail looked around. “No, they aren’t. And even if they were, it doesn’t matter, right?” She patted Shay’s hand. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m trying.”
“I can tell, and so can God. That’s all that matters.”
She gave a wry grin. “That’s what I keep telling myself.”
Abigail looked over her shoulder, then back at her. “There is one person who can’t take his eyes off you. Poor Beau.”
He’d approached her last month after hearing about her pregnancy. Offered to step in and marry her, be the father of her children. “I am married, Beau,” she’d told him before kindly turning down his offer.
“He’ll get over it,” Shay said. “Never would’ve worked.” He deserved someone who loved him the way she loved—
Do not go there, Shay Brandenberger.
“Did you decide what to do about John’s offer?” Abigail asked.
Shay was glad to think of something else, even if the insulting offer on her property did raise her hackles. “I countered. Just a little under asking price.”
“Good for you. It’s a fair price.”
Shay nodded. “I’ll bet he doesn’t counter back.”
And that worried her. Other than John’s offer, there hadn’t been so much as a nibble since she’d put it on the market a month ago. If she didn’t sell it soon, she’d be in trouble.
The baby was due August 7, just a week before her own birthday. What was she going to do with cattle to care for and a newborn baby? It had been hard enough over the winter, keeping the livestock fed. There seemed to be no end to their appetite. They ate and ate and bawled for more hay, and every day it started over again. Now calving season had arrived, and nighttime calving had cost her more than one night’s sleep.
“What’s John Oakley want a ranch for, anyway?” Abigail asked. “Never even seen the man in a pair of jeans.”
“He doesn’t want a ranch, he wants a deal.”
Abigail snorted, then tossed her blond hair. “More like a rip-off.”
“Well, I can’t afford not to take the offer seriously. Not like they’re flying at me from every direction.”
The server set her burger basket down. Shay said grace and dug in.
“How are your classes going?”
“Great. I’ll be ready for a break this summer, though. Not sure what I’m going to do once the baby comes.” Abigail eyed Shay’s fries.
Shay shoved the plate forward. “Help yourself. Believe me, I totally understand.”
“Thanks. I ate a nice nutritious meal at home and told myself that was it. But Junior has the appetite of a grizzly, and salad doesn’t seem to be his thing.”
Abigail had had an ultrasound two weeks ago and knew she was having a boy. Shay preferred to be surprised.
“Tell me about it. I keep telling myself no more fried food, and look at me.”
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Shay pulled it out and saw a text from her realtor. She read it and clamped her jaw. Selfish man.
“What’s wrong?” Abigail asked.
“Oakley countered. Five grand more than his first measly offer.”
Abigail’s brows pulled together. “I could just smack that man.”
“Get in line. He knows I owe more than that on it.” She’d be way upside down. Would be better off renting the property, though who’d rent it out for the price of her payments?
Her phone vibrated in her pocket, a call this time. Shay looked at the screen. “It’s Joann. Probably wants to advise on that wonderful counterbid.”
Shay hurried to the exit and answered the phone as she stepped outside into the cold spring air. “Hi, Joann. I got your text.”
“Oh, that. Never mind that offer . . . We have a new one.”
“Hallelujah. Please tell me it’s reasonable.”
“Better than reasonable. They offered list price.”
Shay caught her breath, unbelieving.
“That’s right. And better yet, it’s a cash offer.”
“I’ll take it!”
Joann laughed. “I thought you might.”
“Wait, who is it? Anyone I know?” Not that it mattered—an offer was an offer.
“It’s Wyatt and Doreen McCoy.”
Travis’s parents? But why . . . “They’re selling their place. Why would they want mine?”
“I didn’t ask their realtor, but I can guess. Their property is adjacent to yours, and a bigger spread will be more appealing to corporate investors. Plus you have all those springs on your property and river frontage, which theirs lacks. It adds value to their property.”
The bass thumped through the Chuckwagon’s walls. “Well, I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.”
“It’ll be a mail-away transaction, but since it’s a cash offer, that makes things simpler. Oh, and Zach said there’s no hurry on evacuating the property. Closing will probably be in thirty days, but since the McCoys aren’t moving in, they wanted to know if you’d stay until the property sells.”
“I can for a while. That’s very kind of them.”
Shay had to be out of there before the baby came, but at least the ranch was settled. They wouldn’t have to rush out, and she had ample time to find a rental and a new job. She pushed down the dread that spread through her at the thought of leaving.
“I’ll get the offer over first thing Monday, if that’s okay.”
“Fine, of course.”
They said good-bye and Shay turned off her phone. She’d been so afraid she’d have no choice but to accept John’s offer. But now she’d gotten more than she dreamed—list price.
Thank You, God. It’s so much more than I hoped for.
She’d have cash coming back to her, enough to pay off Travis and then some. Enough to pay for medical care when she delivered her baby. She put her hand over her slightly rounded belly.
She wouldn’t let herself think about losing the place where she’d grown up. The only home Olivia had ever known. The place where she and Travis had first kissed, the place where they’d made love and conceived this baby.
She wouldn’t let herself think about any of that. If she did, she’d fall into a million pieces right there on Main Street.
39
Travis eased up on the gas as he entered town.
Moose Creek, the sign read. Gateway to Yellowstone.
His heart raced at the sight. He’d driven half the night, but all weariness fled now. The day had finally arrived, and he was here. Mere miles from Shay.
It had been so long, a full five months since he’d left. Since she had tossed him from the property. What would she say when she saw him?
He feared she’d kick him from her land without giving him a chance to explain. Travis wiped his sweaty palms down the length of his thigh. She’d hear him out whether she wanted to or not. He’d tossed her over his shoulder once before,
and he’d do it again. He loved her, and it was time she believed it.
He stopped at the office on Main Street and collected the envelope before heading toward the Barr M. Buck had been cooped up in the trailer since Texas. He’d ride the horse over to Shay’s and allow him a little hard-earned freedom.
Spring was dragging its feet in the valley. Gray clouds stretched across the expansive sky. The vegetation had yet to green, and snow still clung to the rocky peaks of the Gallatin Range. In the distance pine trees added dark splashes of green to the landscape, otherwise still clothed in the drab colors of winter. Alongside the road, the Yellowstone ran quick and deep, flushed by snowmelt off the mountains.
When he arrived at his folks’ ranch, he fed and watered Buck, saddled him despite the slow drizzle that had started, and turned toward Shay’s place. He’d catch up with Jacob later. Right now he only had one thing on his mind.
Shay was probably nearing the end of calving season. He wondered how many nights she’d been up, assisting in births. Hopefully not too many. He’d used light birth-weight bulls with her first-calf heifers.
He missed working her ranch. Missed working with her. He wondered if she missed his help. Wondered if she missed him.
She hadn’t filed for divorce at least. He told himself it wasn’t because of the costs involved. Maybe she held out hope that they’d work it out.
He’d find out for sure in a few minutes. He’d know when he saw her. Shay was good at hiding her feelings, but he wasn’t just any old neighbor. She was his first love, his soul mate. He’d know when she saw him how she felt about his return. For better or worse.
Travis patted the envelope in his shirt pocket, reassuring himself that it was there. He felt for the lump in his jeans pocket as he crossed the shallow spot of the creek.
40
Shay washed off in the barn tub. The last heifer to calve had gone into labor that morning. An hour ago Shay had pulled a healthy newborn calf from the relieved mama. Now the heifer was on her feet and licking her calf clean in the fresh bed of straw.
Shay was glad to have the last birth behind her, relieved she’d managed without getting kicked. Branding was on the horizon, but she wasn’t fool enough to try that in her condition. Her neighbors would pitch in even if she couldn’t return the favor.
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