There was a pause as he was moving around the kitchen area and grabbing the stuff from fridges under the counters and I felt compelled to translate it for him.
“She means yes please,” I told him.
He laughed, and this led into another huge conversation about the differences in how we talk to each other. Honestly, to us (English folks) it sounds a little rude and a tad demanding just to say “sure.” I mean, if someone offers you something, it’s only proper to acknowledge the kindness and say please, no?
Saying “sure” makes it sound like you’re doing the other person a favour by accepting it! Well, to our ears anyway.
Sigh.
Anyway – we laughed about it for ages… and even weeks later, now and again she’ll respond to these kind of questions in her best English accent and say, “Yes, please”.
(It can be taught! Even if it’s only ironically…)
[EDIT: NO, AMY, DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!]
[Ellie Edit: (eyeroll)]
Hot World Problems
Recently I was on a call with MA. We’d been talking for some time, and I’d been drinking something with ice in it. It’s kinda hot at this time of year, and being in Texas that means the effects are multiplied a hundredfold.
Anyway, as you know when you have cold drinks in hot climates, the condensation cools on the glass and makes sopping wet puddles everywhere you put your drink. I realized that I had another puddle by my laptop and got up to grab a cloth to dry it off.
I muttered something by way of explanation as to why I was leaving the screen. “This isn’t a problem in countries where you don’t need ice in everything.”
MA shot back immediately, “You’re so dramatic!”
I’m seeing a theme here.
(You may recall last book I told you about how Amy has me profiled as a four on the enneagram profiling system, which primarily means she gets to point out how dramatic I am in even the smallest comment.
It appears MA is catching on.)
[EDIT: GO AMY!]
[Ellie Edit: (double eyeroll) Clearly I can’t let you two in the same room together now.]
Steve Is Taking Over My Author Notes!
Zen Steve is the guy who looks after the massive task of getting our words published. We basically complete the manuscript as far as we can and throw it over the fence to him. At this point he wrangles our awesome team of JITers, implements the changes, and then uploads the formatted file to the Zon.
What follows is an excerpt from a recent conversation about the length of our author notes… And why we have to cut them down:
steve [1:00 PM]
Apparently, there’s a deadline of today to have back matter under 10%. Republishing a batch of books today.
ellleighclarke [1:02 PM]
ah I see. Yeah, i only heard about that this week! So much for 10k word long author notes, eh?
steve [1:03 PM]
Yeah - One of yours with MA was 25% back matter
ellleighclarke [1:05 PM]
oh heck! :-o (Sorry!)
steve [1:06 PM]
I edited your author notes to: “Thanks for buying the book. Please buy the next one too.”
ellleighclarke [1:07 PM]
hahahhahahahaha!
You're so funny...
I'm putting that in the author notes of the next book...
steve [1:08 PM]
LOL - Classic
I don’t think that needs any additional explanation ;)
Skydiving Relationships
Last week Amy came over to mine for one of our work dates. You may have seen pictures on fb and Patreon of us hanging in our favourite café near my place… pretending to work. (I do get some stuff done, but we do chinwag a bit too. It’s good to have author friends. This writing lark can be quite isolating otherwise.)
Anyway, after a full afternoon of cranking words onto the page we headed back to my place to eat. Amy mentioned she’d never seen Dirty Dancing. I’ve no idea how anyone can get through their life and get to our age, and not have seen it. However, she assured me she hadn’t so we set up the projector and settled in to watch it on Prime.
[EDIT: How the fuck does someone still have a projector in 2018???]
[Ellie Edit: to those of us who don’t have TVs it’s a novelty. Some fashions just go full circle.]
Now, the beauty of this setup rather than being at the theater, is that we can pause it and talk about it as often as we like!
And that’s what happens.
Others of our friends have talked about how they’d love to be a fly on the wall for this…and we may put something in the pipeline for it soon. But putting that aside for now, we got into a deep discussion about relationships. I was finding that I couldn’t get my head around how even near the end they (Johnny and Baby) never had a conversation about what came next, after summer camp.
I mean, who would get into something like that and never think about the future?
Amy explained it to me like this: Summer flings are like skydiving. Short, intense and your probably only wanna do it once.
Ellie: So Patrick Swayze is like the skydiver of dance instructors?
Amy: Yes.
For the record, I still don’t understand it fully, so it will remain one of life’s mysteries as to why anyone would just want to have this short relationship with Swazey and then move on for no good reason.
Sigh.
Maybe it’s the overly romantic in me.
Self-Revelation
I had an extraordinary self-revelation the other week when we were thinking about whether to eat at the movie theatre or not. I realized I didn’t really want to and then found myself having to explain why…
Turns out, I can’t eat in the dark!
I’ve managed to get to (cough cough) [EDIT: 42 BWAHAhahahaha] years old, and only just realized it. In my defense, this is only a problem when you have cinemas that bring you food during your movie and not something I’ve really encountered before. And yes, I realize this is very much a first-world problem…but bear with me. Despite this, I’ve come up with an excellent (and yummy!) solution for all moviegoers.
[Ellie edit: I am NOT 42!! Asshole… ;)]
Enter the mighty milkshake!
Delicious, and potentially boozy [EDIT: HAHAHAHAHA], this is the answer to when the dark and food intersect. No more distractions from what is going on in front of you. No more worrying about dropping food down your front when preoccupied with the screen. In fact, the straw-action is probably the safest clothes-protecting mechanism ever invented. (And yes, I fully support the new ones that are made from recyclable, decomposable material. It’s definitely the way to go).
And in case you’re interested, the Alamo recently had a very special milkshake on its Jurassic World menu. (You may wanna stop reading if you’re prone to cravings.) Get this: it was called Big Blue, after the main hero dinosaur in Jurassic World. I didn’t know that the first time I ordered it, though. It was only when they mentioned the dino in the film that Amy and I gasped in delight… probably much to the amusement of those silent movie-watchers around us.
The Big Blue was made of Blueberry cheesecake. That’s right – (fake) blueberries, and cheesecake lumps. AND rum.
The. Best.
So as long as you can find the straw with your mouth – eating in the dark isn’t an issue!
This is my contribution to humanity: how to ‘eat’ at the movies. ;)
Ok, I’ve rambled enough and need to leave room for MA’s notes. If you’d like to see more though, feel free to check out my Patreon account here: www.patreon.com/ellleighclarke
E x
Author Notes - Michael Anderle
August 12, 2018
THANK YOU for going through our book(s) and reading our Author Notes here at the end.
So, we have a limit on how much space we have, and my esteemed collaborator just ate the shit out of it.
No, seriously.
[Ellie Edit: You have at least 600 words
more you could write. Besides, I’m doing you a favor. You’re always on about how much work you have to do!]
On a different subject, summers have been a real challenge ever since I started writing books (this is my third summer) and it is problematic to keep the publishing effort going as collaborators, friends, and family take vacations and go do things. Generally our minds become mush.
[Ellie edit: I didn’t. I’ve been here working my fingers to the bone the entire time.]
[Michael edit post Ellie edit: Then how do you explain all of the times you blocked out to go out with Amy to the movies and parties / poker / stuff? Or the times you tell me ‘I can’t do Sunday, I’ll be recuperating from Saturday night?]
As we come to the end of August and beginning of September, kids start going back to school and within a couple of weeks, life gets back to a routine. THEN the days become ever shorter and work seems like the right thing to do.
Except for my collaborator.
If you haven’t followed our conversations in The Ascension Myth books (if not, check them out! First book is here: My Book (that’s U.S. - same link w/ different amazon website for others.))
Anyway, if you followed some of our conversations, you would realize that Ellie was in Los Angeles for much of that series, and has only moved to Texas (somewhat) recently. Then, somehow, she got into a poker tournament setup weekly on Wednesday nights (and studied the shit out of it) and now is God only knows partying like a rock star with Amy and other friends weekly.
A bit of different from LA.
[Ellie edit: yes, things are definitely looking up.]
It has gotten so bad that (I am a witness) Ellie got a master in her life as well. I tried to warn her, but she ignored my friendly warnings and accepting a master-slave relationship openly into her life.
She even was HAPPY with the whole situation. I shake my head in confusion that someone so intelligent, so logical, and forward-thinking succumbed.
You will have to read the next book (and the next Author Notes) to see how this progresses, and if anyone in that relationship gets a collar.
[Ellie edit: I’m sure he deliberately made this sound like a BDSM thing…now that he’s getting more comfortable with writing raunchy stuff. However, you may be disappointed to know that he’s just talking about me having a special house guest: I’m cat-sitting for a friend!]
[Michael edit post Ellie Edit: I bet we just lost a few hundred extra sales there… Damn!]
Until next time ;-)
Ad Aeternitatem,
Michael
Labyrinth
Chapter 1
Nickie
Rebus Quadrant, Themis Colony, Mess Hall
Nickie waited in the dinner line with Grim. The day’s labor had taken it out of them both, and Grim was leaving Nickie to her thoughts while the line shuffled forward.
She was still finding her feet as someone who gave a shit. It was an entirely different mindset to the one-woman universe she’d lived in before her special functions had been activated. Not so long ago she had been free, fighting her way around the galaxy, unburdened by purpose or responsibility.
Or sobriety.
She had been…
Lonely. You were lonely, Nickie.
Nickie made a face and sighed. I wish I could argue with you there.
Shall I give you a moment to think it over? I am certain you can find something to disagree with.
Bitch. She reached the head of the line and greeted Melissa, who was in charge of this communal meal, with a smile.
These last few weeks on Themis had reminded Nickie what it was like to be part of a community. Part of a family. She was finally beginning to flirt with the possibility that letting people in did not automatically mean they would leave, but she wasn’t quite ready for her real family. Not yet.
People were still a pain in the ass, especially since part of her still craved the ease of losing herself to the party. It was simple to just give up responsibility for herself, to numb that deep ache of loss. But it wasn’t that bad having people around. At least, there were some aspects she was getting used to. Getting fed was one of the pluses.
She held her tray up to accept Melissa’s offering.
Grim gave her a little nudge with his tray and nodded toward Adelaide.
Nickie narrowed her eyes at the slumped shoulders and the desultory way she picked at her food. Adelaide spotted them and brightened immediately. She waved cheerfully at Nickie, who met Adelaide’s sweet smile with one of her own and made her way over to the table.
This is personal growth, Nickie. I’m impressed.
Nickie snorted, then blushed when the people around her laughed good-naturedly. They’d all gotten used to her sporadic bursts of laughter and the occasional comment aloud to Meredith. What the fuck does an EI know about growth?
I know you would have turned around and walked away from this not so long ago. You are learning to care for these people.
I wouldn’t go that far, although I do kind of like it here. It’s out of the reach of my family, and frankly, these people need my help. They’re just gonna keep getting picked off by whatever Skaine come by, and I never mind dealing with those fuckers. She nodded at Keen, who nodded back and returned to his conversation. Besides, it might not necessarily be a bad thing to care.
Will wonders never cease? Perhaps next we can work on caring about yourself, if that is not a step too far?
Don’t push it.
Nickie took a seat on the bench next to Adelaide, and Grim chose the empty space across from her next to Keen. Raynard was conspicuously absent, and Nickie raised an eyebrow at the slight shadow under Adelaide’s eyes.
Adelaide was getting used to Nickie’s unasked questions. “I’m okay, honest. Just tired from construction on the water supply line. Where’s Durq?”
Grim nodded toward the door. “He went back to his quarters for some quiet time. He worked with the planters all day today.”
“Oh, I see.” Adelaide grinned, then pressed her lips together to hide the small smile. “They’re a little chatty, that’s for sure. I had a visit from Leesha and Roan this afternoon.”
Keen’s bushy eyebrows knitted together in mild surprise. “Oh? What did they want? I can believe Leesha was there distracting you, but it’s not like Roan to leave during the shift.”
Adelaide stirred her food. “They wanted to talk about the best place to situate the mains access once we get the pipe run over from the reservoir. And for me to put in a word with you about getting a little more water from the reserves in the meantime.”
Keen sighed. “I hope you’re getting somewhere with that, Addie. Our water reserves are starting to run low.” He put his spoon down and pushed his tray away. “We have enough for now,” he told them, “but we need to get the desalination plant working and finish running the supply line out to the dome if we’re going to meet the colony’s agricultural needs.”
Nickie lifted an arm. “It’d also be good to get off rationing and have a real fucking shower. The sonic shower just lacks something, you know?” She shifted in her seat and took a hasty bite of her food. Having a wet shower would be nice. She waved her fork at Keen as she continued, “The climate control installation was completed today. As soon as the water tanks are at capacity, the environmental systems can be brought online, and the agricultural workers can expand production. I can’t believe you guys had all that equipment just gathering dust in storage.”
Keen shrugged in resignation. “It wasn’t exactly an option. We’ve been a little preoccupied with being raided by every passing contingent of Skaine until you got here.”
Adelaide patted Keen’s hand and pushed his tray back toward him. “Eat up. You need your strength.” Her ponytail swished as she lifted her chin and put a finger up to silence his protest. “I don’t care if you want to eat, you need to. None of us have had time to grieve. We’re all dealing with it by pulling together and rebuilding.”
Keen picked up his spoon, mutter
ing under his breath.
Nickie snickered. “So, Adelaide, how long until the water is running?”
Adelaide pressed her lips together and tilted her head side-to-side while she did the calculations. Finally, she held up her hands and shrugged. “Um, I can’t really be sure. We’re learning as we go, and since we lost both of our engineers in the Skaine attack, we’re relying on the manuals in the database to teach us how to do most of it.” She smiled brightly at Nickie. “Actually, the interface you provided with Meredith has been incredibly helpful while everyone is getting used to their new roles.”
Nickie’s heart dropped.
Are you going to start blaming yourself again? Meredith asked.
Shut up, Meredith!
Adelaide noticed the drop in Nickie’s mood. “What is this, brooders’ corner? You’re as bad as Keen! You can’t keep blaming yourself, Nickie. You’ve worked harder than anyone here these last few weeks, and we all appreciate it. You didn’t invite the Skaines over to kill our support personnel. Give yourself a break.”
Nickie pushed her tray away and made a show of yawning. “Well, tomorrow holds another full day of work. I’ve got a couple of things to do, and then I’m going to hit the sack.” She stood and slapped Grim on the back. “I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early.”
Grim looked up from his conversation. He took in the careful way she held her face and nodded. “Call if you need me, okay?”
Nickie nodded tightly and left.
Adelaide rolled her eyes and turned to Grim. “She didn’t hear a word of that, did she?”
Grim shrugged. “She’s a smart woman. It’ll sink in…eventually.”
Nickie made her way to her quarters without stopping to talk when Durq popped his head out of his room. She closed the door behind her, then flung herself face down on her bed and screamed soundlessly into her pillow.
Deuces Wild Boxed Set: Books 1-4: Beyond the Frontiers, Rampage, Labyrinth, Birthright Page 41