by Lisa De Jong
Page 13
Author: Lisa De Jong
His words stung. I picked up my coat and immediately started toward the door as anger ran through my veins. If he wanted to be an ass, he could be an ass, but I wasn’t going to put up with it for another minute.
“Alex!” I heard him call after me, but I continued to walk. He quickly caught up to me, but didn’t say anything as we continued to walk.
“You don’t have to walk me home. I’m a big girl and I don’t need a chaperone!” I yelled.
“I’m not letting you walk home alone. Just keep walking and you can continue to pretend that I’m not here. If you prefer, I can walk a few feet behind you so no one suspects that we’re together. ” He used finger quotes to emphasize “together”, pissing me off even more.
“Quit being an ass,” I said through my teeth. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this mad and had let someone else see it. Dane had a way of bringing emotions out of me, good and bad.
“I’m not the one who started it,” he said, picking up his pace to walk next to me. Neither of us said another word as we made our way to my dorm building. I wanted to get inside my room and forget this night ever happened.
“Looks like you’re off the hook now,” I said, grabbing my key from my purse. I wanted to get away from him as quick as possible.
“So this is it?” he asked, as I placed my key into the lock.
I opened the door and quickly stepped into my room, shutting it in his face before he could follow me in. As I threw my purse onto my bed, I heard him yell, “Shit!” I stood still in the middle of the room until I heard him stomp down the hall. I let out the breath I had been holding in.
I was a mixture of confused, relieved and sad. I was confused, because my heart was telling me one thing when my head was telling me another. I was relieved, because the date was over and I wouldn’t have to fight whatever this feeling was any longer. I was sad, because all those wants and feelings would have to be left unexplored. I could imagine him, but I couldn’t have him. It was more obvious than ever that given the opportunity, Dane Wright could break me.
Chapter Eight
Friday and Saturday were a complete blur. Jade asked me about my “date” on Friday morning and I left out some of the more colorful details, telling her we had a good time dancing, he walked me home, and that was it. She stared at me, waiting for mention of a kiss or more, but was disappointed.
To be honest, I was a little disappointed in myself. I should’ve told him that he was good enough when he thought he wasn’t. I shouldn’t have let him leave thinking he was the problem, but I didn’t know how to tell him I was the problem.
Dane arrived in Art Class before me on Friday. He didn’t greet me with the smile that he normally would, causing my stomach to drop. I didn’t know what I expected, but I hoped everything would just be normal when I walked into class. I sat in my seat and whispered “hi”, but he still didn’t look up at me. I had always been the girl everyone liked, the one who was always nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings, so I wasn’t sure what to do with this.
On Saturday, my guilt reached an all time high so I decided to send him a text.
Alex: I’m Sorry. Friends?
I spent the next two hours checking my phone every five minutes, waiting for the text that never came. Jade asked if I wanted to go out with her and I turned her down, telling her I had yet another date with Ben and Jerry.
When Sunday morning arrived I still hadn’t heard anything from him. I hated it when someone completely ignored me; it felt worse than being yelled at. Jade hadn’t come home last night which gave me extra time to think. . . and drive myself crazy. I paced the room before doing some angry cleaning. I decided to try another text.
Alex: What gallery is the exhibit at?
Again I waited with no reply. I guess I could add stubborn to the list of words to describe Dane.
It was times like this that I thanked my lucky stars for Google. I googled Urban Art Show, New York, NY, January 29, 2012 and Expressions Gallery popped up. I wrote down the address and started getting ready. I had no idea if this was a dress up kind of art show or a more casual one so I decided on something in between. I settled on a knee-length black shirtdress that flowed slightly at the bottom with a thick red belt around my waist and my black boots. I topped it off with a black and white checkered scarf and a black beanie. I slipped on my jacket, grabbed my car keys, and headed out the door.
There was no guarantee that he was going to show up, but I was hopeful that he would. A man took my coat as I entered the packed gallery. I took a quick look around and when I didn’t see him I started looking at various sculptures, large paintings in vibrant colors, and collages of items that would be junk to some people, but put together in the gallery were absolutely beautiful.
I turned a corner and standing right in front of me, talking to an older couple, was Dane. He wore black dress pants with a grey sweater that fits snug around his arms and chest. I liked this Dane, but had to admit I missed the leather jacket. I imagined the way it smelled and how it felt to hold him with it on. The other night I was stupid to think I could just walk away from this. He saw me and stopped talking for a second before he returned his attention back to the couple. I felt rejected, but not enough to give up so easily. I looked at the metal sculptures that were arranged behind him and discovered that the artist was Dane Wright.
They were of couples; one was dancing, one was hugging, one appeared to be sitting on a bench and one was holding hands. They were so simple, yet beautiful. I knew he was talented, but I had no idea he could do this.
“Does my work live up to your expectations?” he asked, startling me. He stood so close to me that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
I turned around, leaving us separated by only inches. “They’re beautiful,” I whispered.
“Really?” His voice was controlled, but there was a hint of sarcasm. I didn’t say anything; I deserved his tone.
“Really. ” I took a deep breath and said what I had come to say. “Look, Dane, I’m really sorry for what happened the other night. I had a great time with you and I let my head get in the way. ”
He moved his head a little closer to mine. The way he looked at me, I was sure he was going to tell me to go away, but before I could process what happened, his lips were on mine. At first, I didn’t react, but then my body took over as I wrapped one hand behind his neck, tasting the mint on his lips and savoring the soft feel of his mouth. The connection made me pull him closer until there was absolutely no space between us. As his tongue begged for entrance, I granted it. We stood there for what seemed like forever, like there was no one else in the room. His kiss was soft, yet passionate, and at that very moment I knew it was the first meaningful kiss I had ever experienced. I needed him and I was his if he’d have me.
He broke away, putting his forehead to mine. His eyes were hooded and I wanted nothing more than to have those lips back on mine. I felt n**ed and vulnerable as I waited for him to say something. “We can’t be friends,” he finally said as he closed his eyes. I nodded my head and began to turn around, feeling defeated and rejected, before he caught my arm. “Where are you going?” His eyebrows were drawn as he searched my face.
“I came to apologize, but obviously it wasn’t enough, Dane,” I said, my voice shaking.
“We can’t be friends, I meant that,” he stepped closer to me, never breaking eye contact. “I want you to be my girl,” he whispered. For a second I didn’t think I heard him correctly, but then my heart went aflutter.
“What?” I had heard him, but I wanted to hear him say it again.
“I want you to be my girl,” he said, a little louder this time. I started that internal battle between my head and my heart, but this time my heart won. This man standing in front of me right now could break me into a million pieces, but if I didn’t let him in I’d never feel that deep down in my stomac
h kind of love; I’d forever be unbreakable. I wasn’t sure how to respond so I did what I’d wanted to do since his lips left mine and kissed him again. He wrapped his arms around me until I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs to breathe.
He backed away just enough to speak. “Wait for me. I have to stay here until 7 and then I want to take you out to dinner. ” I nodded before reaching up to give him one more kiss. It was hard to leave him as I toured the rest of the gallery. I wondered what my parents would think if they knew what I was up to right now, but I quickly buried it away. I made the decision to stay in the moment and not worry about anything else. I stole a few glances in Dane’s direction and whenever our eyes met he threw a sexy smile my way. It melted my heart every time. I was happy.
After the show was over, he took me to a little Italian place around the corner from the gallery. It was quaint with soft yellow walls, black and white photos of old Italy, and white table clothes. It was a quiet Sunday night and I felt relaxed just being here and talking with him.
There were some things I needed to say before we could move forward and there was no time like the present. I grasped the end of the table with both hands. “Dane, I’m really sorry about the other night. I just freaked out, I guess. I’ve never felt this type of connection with anyone and it scares me. ”
He reached across the table, grabbing one of my hands in his. “Alex, I’ve never tried this with anyone. I run from things like this; I don’t like getting close to people, but I can’t avoid what’s already there. For the first time in my life, it’s easier to just feel. ”
Heat radiated through my chest. He felt the exact same way I did. We were two people running from ourselves who found each other. “I know,” I finally replied. “I guess we’re going to do this together in more ways than one. ” He squeezed my hand before turning his attention to the waiter who had arrived at our table at some point during our exchange.
After the waiter took our order, he told me about his father who left them after his sister died. Things had turned really bad between his parents and his father began drinking heavily. His mother had never worked when his parents were married and had to take on a couple of minimum wage jobs to support him and his brother, Nolan. She wasn’t around much, so Dane took care of his brother. He began having problems at school, getting into fights and barely passing classes before he found art and music as a release for some of his anger.