The blue eyes peeping out from behind his specs were appealing, and for a second I hesitated.
“No, I should probably get off,” I said at last. “See you, Alex. Thanks for your help with the storage.”
“No problem. I’ll let you know how it goes.” His gaze followed the two of us as we left the pub.
Chapter 12
Ten minutes later, Ross and I were crunching along the seafront in silence, foaming waves slapping against the pebbles by our side.
“Did you have to be so abrupt?” I demanded when I was sure we were out of earshot of other people.
“Any reason I should be polite to that guy?”
“Well there’s one massive one,” I said. “We need him. Alex is on the council; he could be a big help. Especially with Langford gunning for us.”
Ross just snorted.
We lapsed back into silence, listening to the waves and the strangled yarking of the seagulls. He was walking a little apart from me, and I couldn’t help letting out a sigh as we passed Gracie’s bench. I’d felt so close to him that night. To talk, to touch, to kiss, had just seemed the most natural thing. And now… everything was different. Surely it couldn’t be that when we weren’t talking lighthouse we had nothing to talk about?
“What did Alex do to you, Bobbie?” Ross asked at last.
Ok, nothing except that.
“Do you mind if we don’t talk about it?”
He frowned. “If that’s what you want.”
I glanced at him and sighed.
“He cheated on me,” I said eventually. “It was complicated, but that’s what it comes down to.”
Ross stopped walking and turned to me, shock written across his face. “He did that?”
“Yeah. Girl from his squash club.”
His brow knit dangerously. “Bastard! He’s lucky I didn’t know before, I’d have told him to shove his help.”
I suppressed a smile. It was sweet seeing him go all protective, even if it was only as a friend.
“Well, it’s in the past now,” I said. “Nothing to do but move on.”
“You’re not even angry?”
“I was. I went through all the stages they tell you about in the women’s mags: anger, grief, despair, etc. And time went by, and then I saw him at the council meeting, same as ever, and now I’m just… resigned, I suppose. We both have to live here and things are the way they are.”
He scowled. “You might be resigned.”
“Look, what’s it to you, Ross?” I demanded. “It’s between me and Alex, isn’t it?”
“I don’t like the thought of him hurting you, that’s all. I don’t like him.” Ross dipped his head to look into my eyes. “Bobbie, can I ask you something?”
“Course.”
“Are we… what are we? I mean, who are we?”
I blinked in puzzlement. “Sorry, what?”
“What I mean is, we’re partners, aren’t we?”
“Well, yeah. Why?”
“Anything else?”
Where was he going with this? Was he asking me if I wanted to be something else? Was he telling me he didn’t want to be? It had seemed easier to talk to him months ago, when we were still virtual strangers.
“Only I got an ear-bashing from your mum after the paint party that basically amounted to a demand to know what my intentions are,” he said.
“She didn’t!” I exploded. “I knew she was up to something. I’ll kill her!”
“Oh, don’t be too hard on her. She’s only looking out for you.” He twiddled his fingers awkwardly. “So… did you want me to have some intentions?”
“Depends what they are.” Suddenly I started laughing. “God, we’re riddling like drunk bloody leprechauns. Come on, let’s stop playing silly beggars and say what we mean. We’re too old for games.”
“And getting older by the minute.” He sought my gaze. “Is something wrong? Things seem weird between us lately.”
“No. Not really.”
He hesitated. “Look – that night. Last time we were here.”
“I told you, forget about it. It was the booze.”
“Not for me it wasn’t. I really liked you, Bobbie. And then next day you just seemed to cool off. I’ve thought about it over and over, wondering what I might’ve said…” He paused. “You didn’t know I was married, did you?”
“No,” I said, flushing. “Not until you told me.”
He groaned. “Oh God, I knew it! So that’s what it was all about. You wouldn’t have kissed me if you’d known?”
“No.” I wrestled my eyes away to glare at my sandalled toes. “It’s just – well, my dad and everything. You know Mum’s story. It’s made me wary, that’s all.”
“Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I thought we were mates.”
I frowned at him. “Well it’s not like you’ve been so bloody approachable lately, is it? Never coming near me, being all moody. And with the –” I bit my tongue. I really didn’t want to go into what I’d seen on the pier, not until I knew for sure who the woman was. “With you working all the time.”
He turned away to look out over the ocean. “I wasn’t being moody.”
“Come on, you know you were. I never know how you’re going to react to me these days. I patted your knee the other week and you jumped about a foot.”
I grasped his arm, turning him back to face me, and felt him shudder under my fingers.
“See?” I said as he jerked his arm away. “What’s wrong with you lately? You’re jumpy as hell, all the time.”
“You really don’t know why? You haven’t worked it out?”
“No. Why?”
He swallowed hard. “God, you must know how it works,” he said, his voice choking slightly. “When you get near me, when I touch you… I mean, I can smell you, Bobbie. I can feel you against me. It’s kind of torture.”
I took a shocked step backwards. “What?”
“I had to back off, didn’t I? It just felt like the more time I spent with you doing lighthouse stuff, the harder it was not to – to want more, you know? And then you’ve seemed so different lately, I didn’t know if you wanted –” He flushed. “Well, the same thing I wanted.”
“Oh. Right.” I could feel my cheeks getting hot. “Er, sorry. For smelling and everything.”
He smiled. “Don’t apologise, I love how you smell. Not your fault you turn me on, is it?”
“No, um, I guess… not…” I mumbled, head reeling at the sexy turn the conversation seemed to have taken.
“So did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Want it?”
I hesitated, for what seemed like an age. But I was done with riddles.
“Yes.”
He inhaled sharply. “Oh God. Why didn’t you tell me, Bobbie?”
“You were being so weird with me. I thought maybe you’d… met someone. Or something.”
“Met someone?” He laughed. “When would I have time?”
I managed a smile, and he took my hand to draw me closer.
“Why didn’t you talk to me, if that’s all it was?” I asked.
“And say what? ‘Sorry I can’t be close to you, it makes me fantasise about ripping your clothes off and ravishing you over the bar’? I didn’t even know if you liked me like that. You’ve been so cold since the council meeting, and this thing between you and Alex –”
“There is no thing between me and Alex.”
“But you hid it from me that you’d been a couple, didn’t you? It was only when your mum told me off for dicking you about that I thought I might still have a shot.”
The council meeting. The day I’d seen him down on the pier. Maybe I had been cooler, without meaning to be. Maybe my behaviour had seemed just as inscrutable to him as his had to me.
“I’m sorry, Bobbie,” he said softly. “I didn’t even think how the thing with your dad might’ve affected you. Seriously, I thought you knew I was separated.”
“I know. It was
just such a shock, when you said you were married. That poor woman… my dad’s wife, Corinne. God, he hurt her so much. My mum’s never really forgiven herself.”
“She needs to,” Ross said earnestly. “Middle-aged teacher and seventeen-year-old pupil, seems pretty obvious where the blame lies. Your mum and his wife were both victims.”
“I know. But Mum really drummed it home, you know? If someone’s married you stay the hell away, or it’s a sure-fire recipe for pain for everyone concerned. It became almost a gut reaction.”
“Be logical though. It’s been over between me and Claire for ages. Honestly, what is it but a piece of paper in the end, if the love’s not there?”
“I just… want to do the right thing. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to get hurt, not again.” I sucked my breath in sharply. The whole time we’d been talking he’d been touching me. Taking my hand, running his fingertips over the ridges of my knuckles and across my palm, gently tracing the bones of my wrist. Now, finally, he pulled me into his arms.
“This is the right thing,” he whispered, and his voice was trembling. “Oh God, you feel it too?”
“Yes,” I muttered as the sensation hit me. “Yes, I feel it.”
Now I understood what he meant, about getting too close. I felt a spasm of arousal as I absorbed the feeling of being there in his arms, his scent, faintly caramel, and my body pressed against his. I struggled against the sudden ramp in my hormone levels, tried to slow the pulse that had started thrumming up through my body from between my thighs. But it was too late.
The next thing I knew he’d dropped his satchel full of lighthouse paperwork and we were kissing, kissing like we were fused, like we were never going to stop.
I lifted my hands to his neck, caressing the firm sinews with my fingertips. Ross’s hot tongue teased my lips apart to explore my mouth with a hungry intensity that seemed to filter three months’ worth of kisses that never were into this single one. And I savoured every second: the feel of him, his taste, his warmth. In a minute there’d have to be a conversation. But right now there was just Ross Mason, his arms holding me and his wine-laced tongue embracing mine.
When he finally drew back for a gulp of air, he was almost breathless. I felt my chest rising and falling rapidly against his and realised I was too.
“That was… unexpected,” I gasped.
“Yeah,” he said, his breath coming through in sharp pants. “Did you like it?”
I attempted a casual shrug. “It was all right.”
Ross grinned. “Go on, you can do better than that.”
“Very nice.”
“Nope, I can hear you panting. One more.”
I sighed. “Ok, ok. Best kiss ever.”
“That’s more like it.”
Suddenly I was conscious of the fact I was in his arms, his hands caressing my back, his obviously aroused body pressed into mine, and with a huge effort I dragged myself into the real world and wriggled out of the embrace.
“What’s up, Bobbie?”
“We shouldn’t.”
“Why shouldn’t we, if we both want to? Keep telling you, it’s just paper. You do believe that, right?”
“I do. But it’s not just that. There’s the lighthouse too.”
“Um, ok.” He frowned. “What about the lighthouse?”
“People round here know you’re married, don’t they? And you know what Cragport’s like for gossip.”
“Everyone knows I’m separated though. Anyway, what’s that got to do with the lighthouse?”
“Don’t you think it might bother the powers that be if they hear we’re suddenly sleeping together? By the time it got Chinese Whispered back to that knobhead Langford at the town hall, we’d be notorious local swingers with secret plans to turn the lighthouse into a leather-upholstered sex dungeon.”
He cocked his head. “Hey, is it too late to ditch the music venue idea?”
“I’m serious,” I said, smiling. “He’d be bound to hear about it. People always do, round here. It might affect our funding chances if donors know we’re not strictly business partners.”
“Well, you could be right.” He scrunched his eyes closed and I heard him stifle a groan. “Jesus, Bobbie, I want you so much right now, you know that?”
“Bloody hell, Ross…” I swallowed hard, trying to still the banging in my chest. “It won’t help if you say stuff like that. And stop making sexy noises.”
“You were the one who brought up leather sex dungeons. Hey…” He came forward to slip his arms round me, and I could feel the heat from his body flowing into me through the cotton of his shirt. I gasped as he tilted my head to one side and started kissing down my neck, his fingers burrowing up into my hair. “You know, here’s a radical suggestion,” he muttered against my skin. “We could just be really sneaky and not tell anyone. You could take me home right now and I’ll make some more sexy noises for you.”
“God, that sounds good…”
“Does, doesn’t it? Here’s a taster.” Sliding his palms to my buttocks, he pushed himself firmly against me so I could feel his erection hard on my leg and let out a long, low, open-mouthed groan that just oozed sex. The vibrations from it tingled into the flesh he was caressing with his lips and sent the muscles below my abdomen fluttering alarmingly.
“Do you have to be so bloody erotic at me?” I choked back an answering moan, summoned the last shred of resistance I had and pushed him back so his body wasn’t touching mine. “No, love, we can’t.”
“This is for me and you, it doesn’t concern anyone else. Why shouldn’t we enjoy each other if that’s what we want?” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Go on, Bobbie. Enjoy me.”
I fought against another wave of lust that was threatening to surrender me. “Oh God… look. Ross. Believe me, I’d love to take you back to mine and rip your clothes off right now.” I paused to trail my gaze over the inviting contours of his body, then squeezed my eyes closed to shut it out. “But it’s not just the donors. It’s… well, it’s me. I’m sorry.”
His voice softened. “Is this about your dad?”
“Partly. And what happened with Alex. I just think I’d feel better about myself if you were a man actually getting divorced rather than just a man not living with his wife, you know? I know it’s just a piece of paper, but it’s a bloody important one.” I opened my eyes to seek his. “Would you wait for me? Just until the lighthouse is done. You’ll have your petition in then, and all that time and energy we’ve been focusing on the project can be for me and you.”
“Is that really what you want, Bobbie?”
“No, I want you. But it’s what I think we should do.”
“God. You had to go and say that, didn’t you? Like this isn’t hard enough.” He swallowed another sexy noise and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ok. We’ll wait.”
“You really don’t mind?”
“Well, yes, I bloody do mind because I’m seriously horny right now.” He gave a deep, throaty sigh. “But if it’s what you need.”
“Thanks, Ross, you’re a good boy. Sorry I made you horny.”
“Never mind. I’ve got a Razzle at home.” He clapped his hands together. “Right, so what’s the next thing, lighthouse partner?”
“Bloody hell, you’re keen all of a sudden.”
“Yeah. I could do with something to distract me before we get back out in public, if you know what I mean.”
I laughed. “Ok, well, I’m going to put in that bid for the lottery money, and then we need to start planning some fundraising.”
“What’re you thinking, like a bikini car wash or something?”
“You really are horny, aren’t you?”
“Yep.”
“You can soap up cars in your trunks if you want, handsome. Then we might make some real money.” I paused for a moment to savour the image. “Heh. Wish I had a Razzle at home.”
“I’ll lend you one. So, what’re we really going to do?”
I s
hrugged. “Not sure yet, needs brainstorming. Let’s get out of here before this goes all From Here to Eternity on us, eh? Apparently we’re not safe alone together in beach settings.”
“No.” He shot me a warm smile. “Bobbie?”
“What?”
“Glad we understand each other again. Next time let’s just talk, all right? No more secrets.”
I smiled back. “No more secrets, Ross.”
Chapter 13
Now Ross and I had cleared the air, everything seemed to slot naturally into place and I felt happier than I had since the day I’d seen him on the pier.
I still hadn’t asked him about that. Jess was probably right, the woman was a design client: some local entrepreneur needing business cards or whatever. I didn’t want to sound all stalkery by quizzing him. He wasn’t seeing anyone else; he never had been. That’s all that mattered.
He was occasionally tired still from late nights working, but the mood swings disappeared, the awkward silences were no more. We were as comfortable in each other’s company as we had been in those early days, and when Ross put space between us, I just felt grateful to him for being willing to wait.
To be honest, since that night on the beach the keep-your-distance rule was as much for my benefit as his. The sexual tension hadn’t gone anywhere, and our biggest problem now seemed to be keeping our hands off each other long enough to actually get the lighthouse finished.
“You sure we should do this here instead of the pub?” I asked when I met Ross outside the lighthouse for our fundraiser planning session.
“Just wanted to check out the speakers they’re installing with that Eric Godfrey money. I’m sure we can stop it getting too sexy if we keep our distance.” He nodded down at Monty, on his lead by my feet. “Anyway, that’s why I asked you to bring this little chap. There’s something about him giving me evils that puts me right off.”
“Heh. Yeah, he’s a bitch like that.”
I let Monty off his lead. As soon as he was free, he bounded over to Ross and jumped up to rest his two front paws on the man’s calves.
Ross frowned. “What’s he doing that for?”
“He wants a stroke,” I said, smiling. “Looks like you made a friend of him at last, Ross.”
Meet Me at the Lighthouse Page 10