It wasn’t until I was at Tessa’s side that I finally cast my eyes down on the poster laid on her bed. At first, all I could see was glitter. The whole thing was dusted in the stuff, and it looked like some kid’s art project rather than any kind of plan. But then my eyes were drawn toward the title across the top of the page.
“Operation Pest Control,” I read aloud, causing my heart to stutter a beat. My hands grew clammy, and confusion swirled through my mind. “Tessa, what is this?” I asked, unable to drag my eyes away. I didn’t wait for her explanation as I continued to study the poster, and my stomach began to churn as I kept reading.
“Step one: Attraction,” I murmured. The title was written in large bold letters, and there were hastily scrawled notes surrounding it. Words and phrases like flirting and smiling and looking appealing. It didn’t make any sense until I saw no fighting had also been written down, and I began to put it all together. My heart started beating harder and a hot flush began to work its way up my neck. I thought I’d come here to get information that was going to help me with Ally, but this only seemed to be confusing me more.
“Tessa, what is this plan?” I growled as I began to read the comments around step two and step three. They were all geared toward forming a relationship, but I couldn’t understand how it was related to Ally being unhappy that I was living with her.
“You were never meant to see this…”
“No shit,” I replied. “So, why are you showing it to me now? What exactly did you and Ally cook up?”
I wasn’t sure I needed her explanation though as my focus landed on the fourth and final step: Getting Caught. Pain lanced through me at the sight. Whatever this plan hoped to accomplish, it was clear that Ally wanted to use a relationship against me. Did she want to make me fall for her and then break my heart once I had? If so, she’d done a pretty good job.
“Tessa, you need to start explaining…” I glanced in her direction, and she quickly started speaking when she saw the anguish in my eyes.
“It was a plan I came up with,” she said. “We were trying to get you kicked out of Ally’s house.”
The blood drained from my skin, and the pain daggering my stomach magnified. “I’m the pest?” I said, her words confirming my suspicions.
She nodded, and her eyes filled with sorrow.
I thought it would make me angry, but instead, I felt broken. I had actually thought that things were real between Ally and I, that we’d moved beyond our past hatred and begun to form something special.
I shook my head as I glanced at the poster once more. Sure, she’d done a lot of the things listed here, but then she’d told me she didn’t want me. Breaking my heart wasn’t a step on this plan, and I wondered where it went wrong.
“Why would I have been kicked out if we were caught together?” I asked. “How exactly was this plan supposed to work?”
“Ally’s dad doesn’t let her or Shane date,” she answered softly. “So, I came up with the idea that if she were caught dating you that he’d kick you out.”
A deep furrow formed in my brow. I knew Shane didn’t date, but I never thought it was because he couldn’t. He’d always just said he was too focused on football to waste time on a girlfriend. He even told me that Ally didn’t date either, but I didn’t think it was because of their dad.
“I don’t understand. Why won’t he let them date?”
“Mr. Lockwood has always had a rule that he won’t let either of them date until college. I think he believes it’s too much of a distraction, and he wants Ally to focus on her getting good grades so she can get into a good college. He wants Shane to focus on getting that football scholarship.”
I fell silent as I tried to wrap my head around it. “But Ally’s always studying. And she has all those stupid calendars and Post-it notes.” I didn’t know anyone more organized and didn’t believe for one second that a boyfriend would change that.
“Yeah, she’s always studying because she has to put in a lot of work to do well at school, and she’s obsessed with her calendars because she hates not being in control. Ally’s mom was running late to an appointment when she got into her car accident, and ever since then, Ally’s been convinced bad things happen in life when you don’t stick to your plan.”
I swallowed down a painful lump in my throat. I didn’t remember the time around Mrs. Lockwood’s death well, but I did remember how Ally would freak if my mom was ever late to pick us up after school, how dinner always had to be at six o’clock sharp, and that she’d always come up with these painstakingly detailed plans for dealing with her problems. I never realized it was all part of how she dealt with her mom’s death, and it made me sad that she still needed so much planning to feel comfortable and in control.
I sighed and shook my head as I stared back at the poster once more. “Then what happened with this plan? Why didn’t she go through with the final step?”
“She didn’t go through with it because this plan of ours worked too well and she fell in love.”
My heart lurched in my chest, and my gaze darted up to meet Tessa’s. I was too scared to believe her words, but I desperately wanted to.
“She’s pushing you away because she doesn’t want her dad to find out about the two of you and for you to be sent away,” she continued.
A small smile started at the corner of my lips, and I couldn’t seem to control it because it quickly turned into a beaming grin. “You’re sure about this?”
“She told me herself,” Tessa confirmed.
It took me a few more seconds to process everything I’d just heard before I knew what I had to do. “I have to go.” I started toward the door. Now that I knew the truth behind Ally’s actions, I was jittery and restless and didn’t want to waste another second.
“Chase, just because she loves you doesn’t change the fact her dad won’t let her date,” Tessa cautioned, causing me to pause as I went to leave.
I turned back to look at her. “No, but it changes everything else.”
27
Ally
I glared down at the book in my lap, desperately wishing I hadn’t picked Twilight for book club today. Forbidden love was the last thing I felt like talking about. Normally, I was all for that kind of stuff, but right now, it was hitting a little too close to home.
It felt like forever since I last talked to Chase, and with each day that passed, I was growing more miserable. Every fiber of my being protested as I continued to pretend I didn’t care about him, and the knowledge that he cared for me too made the whole situation unbearable.
I’d really messed things up, but even if I wanted to fix them I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t be with him, not even in secret, because I couldn’t take the risk that we’d get caught and he’d be kicked out of the house. I was so stupid for believing that Operation Pest Control could ever end in anything other than tears.
“Are you going to start, sweetie?” my grandma asked. I had all The Three C’s at the book club today along with a special new attendee, Chase’s grandpa Bart. He was so adorable as he sat next to Connie. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off her, and they hadn’t stopped holding hands since I’d entered the room. The two of them together were a hit of cuteness overload that my sour heart was struggling to take.
I took a deep breath before I started. “So, the book this month was Twilight. What did you all think?”
“The vampires didn’t drink human blood,” Connie said. “It was very strange.”
“And that Bella girl needs to date someone her own age,” Cora added. “I know Edward looks seventeen, but he’s an old man.”
“I liked that they loved each other despite their differences,” a voice said behind me.
I jolted in my chair and turned to find Chase standing there, clutching a copy of Twilight in his hands. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt he’d rolled up at the sleeves. He looked just as smart as the last time I saw him at the nursing home, and the memory was like a sharp jab
to the gut. That had been the first day I’d started to see another side of Chase, and I wished I could forget it.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I’m here for book club.” He spoke like his answer was obvious and waved his book in the air.
“You’re not a part of our book club.”
“Sure I am. Your grandma said I could come.”
I shot a scowl in Grandma’s direction, but she must have sensed the annoyance in my look because she refused to meet my eyes. We’d be talking about this betrayal later, that was for sure.
“Chase, you don’t want to join book club.”
“Of course, I do.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to do anything you’re doing.”
His words chiseled a small crack into my heart, and I swear I caught Bart giving him a wink.
“Don’t be childish, Ally, let him join the book club,” Cora said, looking Chase up and down. “He can sit next to me.” She patted the free chair at her side.
“Yes, Ally, don’t be childish,” Chase said in the irritating tone that had always made me want to punch his beautiful face.
I let out a breath. “Fine, you can stay.” It didn’t really feel like I had much choice though. Grandma had already said it was okay, and with his grandpa sitting here, I’d have to be a pretty horrible person to send him away.
Chase grinned in response and made himself at home next to Cora. His butt was barely on the seat when she started talking.
“My, you’re a handsome boy,” Cora said. “Is this your grandson, Bart?”
“The one and only.” Bart’s voice was filled with love and pride. It was sweet how much he cared about Chase, and it killed me that I couldn’t feel that way about him too. The Chase I’d come to know had a big heart, but I could never lay claim to any part of it.
“We should get back to the book,” I said, but my words fell on deaf ears. Now that Chase was here, book club was completely derailed, and all attention was on our newest arrival.
“Do you go to school with Ally?” Cora asked him.
“I do.” Chase smiled widely. “Her family has also kindly taken me in for senior year while my parents are away working.”
“Oh, so you live together.” Cora could barely keep the excitement out of her voice. “Are you two friends?”
Chase laughed. “Not really.”
I struggled to stop myself from smiling too. As much as it irritated me having him here, it was cute how flustered he was getting by Cora’s questions.
“Wait,” Cora said, turning her attention on me. “This isn’t the boy you hate, is it?”
Now it was my turn to get flustered, and I started blushing, wishing I’d never opened my stupid mouth about Chase to The Three C’s. Old people couldn’t be trusted, it seemed.
“It is the boy you hate,” she quickly inferred.
“The one she wanted to kiss?” Connie asked. My cheeks might have been warm before, but now, they were burning hot. I wanted to crawl under my chair and slowly die. I was never telling these people anything ever again.
“I’m guessing so,” Grandma replied. She was watching me closely, and it felt like she could tell exactly what I was thinking. She knew me too well.
“Did you go through with it?” Connie asked.
“Look, we may have kissed one time,” I grumbled. “But that was it.”
“No, it was more like two times,” Chase said.
“Two times!” Cora squealed.
“Yep,” Chase said with a nod. “And she’s been ignoring me ever since.”
“What?” Cora turned to me once more. “Why have you been ignoring him?”
I groaned and put my head down in my hands. This book club was going from bad to worse at the speed of light. I loved these women to death, but having The Three C’s gang up on you was the equivalent of being waterboarded in an interrogation. There was no way I was leaving this room without completely spilling all my secrets.
“Ally?” my grandma prompted. She was always the less flighty one of her friends. I’d hoped I could at least rely on her not to get carried away around Chase, but even she sounded curious.
When I glanced up at her, I could see it wasn’t curiosity in her gaze but concern. “It’s not like you to shut people out,” she said.
My eyes darted in Chase’s direction. “Can we please just talk about this later?” I begged.
“No, we can’t,” Chase replied. “Because you’ve been pretending you don’t want to be with me and that I don’t exist, and I’m not taking it anymore.”
“I haven’t been pretending you don’t exist.” It was the exact opposite. He existed everywhere for me, and I couldn’t seem to escape him.
“Ally, I had to gate-crash this book club just to get you to look me in the eyes.”
I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but somehow, the two of us were standing, glaring at each other as we stood in the middle of the book club circle with everyone watching on. I didn’t want to have it out in front of them. I just needed to be alone, so I turned and left the room.
Chase followed right after me though, catching me by the elbow, as I exited into the corridor.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I pleaded, as I turned to him. It was getting harder and harder to push him away. I wanted to break so badly and melt into his arms, but breaking meant letting him down in the worst possible way, and I couldn’t do that.
“Because you don’t let the people you love push you away,” he replied.
I froze. Every wisp of air knocked from my lungs, my mind blank of anything but his words. I slowly started shaking my head. “You don’t love me,” I whispered. “You can’t.”
“I do,” he said, not backing down. “And it wasn’t because of some stupid plan you came up with either.”
All heat left my skin, and I stumbled back from him. He knew about the plan. I didn’t even know where to begin to explain it to him, but he kept talking before I could try.
“Yes, I know all about the plan, and I don’t give a shit about it.”
I opened my mouth to ask him why, but he kept on going.
“And I do love you. I love you because the things that have happened between us were real, because we are what happens when things don’t go to plan.” He closed the distance between us once more until our bodies were but a breath apart. “And because I miss every damn thing about you, including every little thing I thought I hated. You are the most stubborn, most annoying pain in the ass I’ve ever known, but you’re my pain in the ass, and I’m not letting you throw us away.”
I let out a little laugh and shook my head as tears welled in my eyes. “It doesn’t matter how much we love each other. My dad will never let me date you.”
He grinned at my words. “So, you do love me.”
I slowly nodded, fear swirling within me as I admitted the terrible truth to him. “It doesn’t matter though.”
“It matters to me.”
His lips descended on mine. Our lips clashed with the intensity of waves slamming against the shore. It stole my breath, my heart, and a little piece of my soul. The whole world lay forgotten in the moment, and I would have given anything for the kiss to never end. I needed him like I needed the air I breathed, but each breath was also filled with pain because deep down I knew it could only be this one time.
It was our first true kiss, but it would also be our last. So, I pushed down the pain and clung to him as I threw myself into it, knowing this might be the only chance I ever got to kiss him this way.
When we finally broke apart, he rested his head against mine, allowing our shaky, shallow breaths to mingle. It took everything in me to step away, and Chase’s eyes were filled with such affection as he looked upon me that a small part of my soul was chipped away. He looked at me like he’d just unearthed something precious, but I knew I could never be his.
“Chase, that can’t happen again.”
“Of course, it ca
n.” His nonchalant attitude sparked my irritation. I was trying to do the right thing by him, but he was acting like my concerns were unfounded.
He started walking down the corridor toward the parking lot, but I chased after him. “No, it can’t,” I said. “If my dad finds out, he’ll kick you out of the house, and we can’t risk that.”
“It’ll be fine, Ally.”
I was beginning to wonder if I wanted to take back my declaration of love. This boy drove me absolutely crazy; how could I so easily forget?
“Chase, will you just hold up a minute?” I said, as we reached the parking lot. His long legs meant I had to jog to keep up with him.
“What is it?” He stopped and turned to me.
I blew out an irritated breath. “You can’t just decide that everything will be fine when it won’t be. We. Can’t. Be. Together.”
He grinned in response. “Yes. We. Can.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Have I ever told you that you are the most irritating person alive?”
“Plenty of times.”
“Then why are you being so pigheaded about this?”
“Because, princess, we’re going to be together.”
“But I’ve already explained why we can’t.”
“Yes, but I’ve already spoken with your dad, and we can.”
My mouth dropped open as I stared at him. “What?”
“I talked to your dad and told him that I was in love with you. And that if we didn’t kill each other, I could make you happy.”
“You what?”
He smiled. “He seemed a little concerned at first and was worried about your grades and dating a boy you lived with and all. But I managed to get him to come around.”
“And how exactly did you do that?”
“Well, I said that if our relationship became a problem he could kick me out immediately and I wouldn’t be a distraction anymore because I would be living out of state. I also explained to him how our proximity was actually a good thing. Your friend Miles might be the smartest kid in our class, but I’m coming in a close number two. I told your dad that I’d tutor you with any subject you were having trouble with and that being with me would actually make your grades higher.”
I Hate You More Page 23