Inked on Paper
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She swallowed but shook her head, and I knew she wasn’t going to tell me. I didn’t want to admit how much that hurt me. I’d thought we had made some progress over the weekend, but it was evident she was still closing herself off to me. I had suspected as much since she hadn’t called or texted in the past two days, but I’d been trying to give her some space.
Then again she had shown up at my door when she clearly needed someone, so that was a start.
Rather than give me some lame excuse, which would’ve truly pissed me off, Presley looked up, and then her face fell again, more tears spilling down her cheeks. I couldn’t help it, I pulled her into my arms, wrapping her tightly in my embrace, and kissed the top of her head. I didn’t say anything, not sure what to say because I didn’t know what was wrong.
Several seconds ticked by, and I tried to come up with a question, something that would convince her I wasn’t her enemy, that I would listen to anything she had to say, but it appeared Presley had other ideas. When she slid her hands beneath my shirt, lifting it, I closed my eyes and welcomed her touch. I’d missed her since we’d come back from the cabin, and though it had only been two days, it felt like an eternity.
I didn’t want to think too much on that, because I didn’t even like the way it sounded in my head.
“Jake,” Presley whispered, pulling back and looking up at me. “Make me forget for a little while?”
Forget what? I wanted to know, but I could see she’d effectively put up that wall. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, because I knew it meant she was using me. After what we’d shared over the weekend, I had been hoping for more. But still, I couldn’t tell her no, so I lowered my head and met her mouth with mine. The kiss started out gentle, but it grew hotter, more intense within seconds, and I realized she was working off the pain, using me to escape it. I hated that she didn’t trust me enough, but there was a give-and-take when it came to Presley. And I was willing to give her what she needed.
Her hands fell from my skin, and the next thing I knew, she had ripped my shirt open, sending buttons scattering, pinging off the hardwood and the walls. That single move triggered something in me, that primal instinct kicking in.
Our clothes made a quick disappearance, hands and mouths roaming; the only thing that mattered was touching her, tasting her.
I jerked her to me, then lifted her off the ground, continuing to kiss her while she wrapped her sexy legs around my waist. I’d made it halfway up the stairs when she stopped me.
“Now, Jake. Fuck me now.”
When she put it that way…
I set her down, hovering over her as her soft thighs cradled my hips, and in a split second, I was inside her, pushing deep, the warmth of her pussy stealing my breath. Presley held on to me, never letting go as I fucked her right there on the stairs. I knew the position couldn’t have been comfortable for her, but she continued to plead, so I drilled into her, my eyes closed as I listened to her soft whimpers and moans.
“Turn over, baby,” I groaned, needing to find a better position for both of us.
I pulled out, and when she was settled on her knees, legs spread wide while she braced herself with her hands, I gripped her hip and guided myself home once again, loving the tight clasp of her body. I loved it so much it made it easy to ignore everything that was pinging in my head and focus solely on this. On her.
Her hand reached around, gripping my thigh as I pounded into her, groaning as the pleasure intensified.
“Jake!” She thrust her hips back against me, and I tightened my grip, my hips jerking forward as I filled her deep and hard.
Damn, she felt so fucking good. Tight, wet, eager. Just the way I wanted her.
I was well on my way to oblivion when Presley cried out once again, her body tightening as she came beneath me, triggering my release.
Neither of us moved for a moment, and I suddenly wondered if she intended to sneak out on me the way she had the first time. I hoped that wasn’t the case, but I wasn’t sure what I’d do about it either way.
Because I knew one thing to be true … something I’d realized while I’d been alone at home for the past two days.
I loved Presley.
And though I wasn’t sure she loved me back, I needed to believe that it was possible.
Chapter Sixty-Two
Presley
Rather than leave the way I’d intended, I realized quickly that it wasn’t what I wanted. I preferred to stay with Jake than to have to deal with anything else at the moment. And that was a little disconcerting considering I’d been running from thoughts of Jake for two days, fearful of what I’d come to expect from him. Or him from me.
And maybe it made me a bitch, to boot, since I was now avoiding another part of my life and using Jake to do so. But being here, in his bed, in his arms, it felt right. Though I wasn’t sure where this was going—or even where I wanted it to go—I couldn’t deny that I felt safe with him.
“What’re you thinking about?” Jake mumbled from behind me, tightening his arms around me while we lay in the darkness.
“I like your bedroom,” I told him, since that seemed easier than telling him what was really on my mind.
“Yeah?”
“A lot more personality than the downstairs had,” I said, snuggling against him, enjoying the way his thick arms circled around me, making me feel sheltered and protected.
“You wanna talk about what was bothering you earlier?”
I’d known he would ask and I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I was sure I’d freaked him out, showing up on his doorstep with tears running down my face. I hadn’t even thought about how it looked at the time.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” I said truthfully.
“You could start at the beginning.”
I rolled over, situating myself so that I could rest my head on his chest and listen to the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat.
“I went for drinks with Blaze and Gavin tonight. They did the deed, by the way.” I knew Jake didn’t realize the significance of that. “We were talking, and as usual, the subject of Adrian came up.”
I felt Jake’s body stiffen, but he didn’t say anything.
I continued. “Adrian and I broke up because I found him in bed with two women. I’d always known he was a cheater, but I’d mistakenly trusted that I might’ve meant more to him than one of his throwaways.”
“Did you love him?”
“No,” I answered quickly. “But he was a friend before…” Jake already knew most of the details, so I skipped them. “Anyway, I didn’t tell Gavin that his brother was a lying, cheating bastard; instead, I told him that I’d broken up with Adrian because things had grown stale. Turns out, Gavin knew all along. He’d set it up so that I found Adrian.”
I still didn’t understand why Gavin would’ve wanted to hurt me like that. Why he’d purposely send me into the lion’s den to stumble upon that. I’d known all along what Adrian was capable of, but I hadn’t needed to actually see it for myself.
“So, why didn’t you tell Gavin the truth?” he asked, his voice a soft rumble against my ear.
I shrugged, but my position hindered the movement. “Gavin’s the only family I have. I didn’t want him to take Adrian’s side.”
“So you didn’t trust him to back you up?”
I pushed up off Jake, glaring down at him. Why was everyone making this about trust?
“Whose side are you on?”
“I’m not on anyone’s side,” he said, propping himself up on one arm and watching me closely. “I simply asked a question.”
“Yeah? Well, it sure as shit sounds like you’ve got his back on this one. Why was it okay for him to lie to me but not for me to lie to him?”
I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say more, but he clamped his mouth shut, which only pissed me off more. We engaged in a stare off but he backed down first.
“Come here, Pres,” he said softly, pulling me back down to him. “I’m on your side, no mat
ter what. You have to know that.”
Well, I didn’t.
Reluctantly, I eased back against him, trying to see things from his perspective. Sure, it sounded like a bunch of high school bullshit, even to me. But at the time, the thought of losing my best friend had terrified me. Gavin had warned me away from Adrian—rightfully so—but I hadn’t listened. Which made me as guilty as he was for that.
“Stay here tonight,” Jake whispered, his arms tightening around me.
I nodded but didn’t say anything, sliding my hands over Jake’s smooth chest. His hand mirrored the motion on my back, sending chills along my spine. This was headed right back where it had started, and I couldn’t deny that I wanted it. So much easier to get lost in the moment than to have to deal with all the shit.
I made the first move, easing out of Jake’s embrace and lying on top of him, straddling his hips. I could feel the rigid length of his erection against my sex and knew he was up for round two.
Rather than ask permission, I shifted my hips, allowing his cock to slide through my folds. When a soft rumble sounded in Jake’s chest, his eyes locked with mine, I slid my hand between our bodies and took him inside me once again.
“Presley.” The way he said my name … there was emotion behind it that I couldn’t name. Something I’d never heard in anyone’s voice before, and it made me want to think that this could be more than what it was.
Only I wasn’t sure that was the case. I remembered Jake’s words from before.
When I’m around you, I can write. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can do anything.
Why is that?
I think I’ve found my muse.
And I’d found mine in him. But was that enough? Or were we merely using one another?
I wanted more. Or at least I thought I did. When I was around him, I wanted to let him protect me from the world.
“Look at me, Presley.”
His whispered words had me opening my eyes, and I hadn’t realized that I’d closed them.
“Make love to me,” he urged, his hands gently gripping my hips, rocking me forward and back along his cock.
So that was what I did, pretending, for this moment in time, that I was more to him than merely inspiration.
And knowing deep in my heart that he was definitely more than that for me.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Jake
One week later—Monday
For the past week, ever since Presley and I had made love in my bed, I hadn’t felt the same. Perhaps that was due to the fact that the next morning I’d woken to find her gone. Not that it had surprised me. It had pissed me off, but I’d still been expecting it. I’d been what she’d needed at the time. Someone to take her mind off her problems.
Never mind that I couldn’t count on one hand how many times I’d used a woman the same way Presley had used me.
The truth was, I was a changed man after our time away together, or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Either way, none of it mattered, because from the moment I’d woken up that next morning, the inspiration had disappeared. Right along with Presley.
And that pissed me the fuck off.
Although I’d seen her once during the week when I’d stopped by the tattoo shop to check on her, she had been busy with work, trying to make up the time, or so she’d said. Quite frankly, I was pretty sure she was avoiding me. But I couldn’t be sure and I damn sure wasn’t going to be that guy. The last thing I would do was grovel at some woman’s feet to get her to pay attention.
I needed Presley to want me the way I wanted her, without me having to coerce her.
Didn’t look as though that was going to happen, and honestly, I was fucking tired of thinking about it.
As I lay on my brand-new couch, staring up at the freshly painted ceiling some thirty feet above my head, I contemplated all of the things I could do to pass the time. I’d already hung up all of the pictures I’d bought from Gavin, turning one wall into a collage of spray-painted designs. Josie had helped me pick out some furniture since most of it was already gone, donated to a church that would auction it off to raise money for a teen retreat this summer.
I had to admit, the place felt more like me, but something was still missing, and I got the feeling that it wasn’t a material item. It was Presley. Only there was nothing I could do to change that.
My cell phone rang, and I nearly launched myself off the couch, grateful for something to do. I grabbed it from the coffee table and glanced at the screen before hitting the talk button.
“Liz,” I greeted, trying to sound happy to talk to her.
“You sound good,” she said, her tone chipper. “Please tell me that’s because you finished the book and you’re now planning to take some time to yourself right after you send it to my email.”
“Not yet,” I admitted. I still had at least two more chapters to tie everything up, but I was stuck, unsure which direction I wanted to go.
Admittedly, writing shorter books wasn’t easy for me, but it was all I seemed to have in me right now, so I was learning to deal.
“Well, I love what you sent me. And I think it’ll only take you a day or two to tie it up.”
“Probably,” I agreed. “As soon as I feel the characters again.”
“Have you thought about letting Josie read it? Or what about Presley?”
After I’d returned from the cabin, I’d told Liz about the impromptu trip and how my desire to write had come back during that time. At first, she’d asked me why I hadn’t just stayed put and finished the story, then she had grilled me about my relationship with Presley. I’d told her as much as I was willing to.
“No, actually, I haven’t,” I told her now, flopping back and glancing down at the notebook on the table.
“One of them might be able to give you some ideas.”
True. Josie was usually a great beta reader, offering tons of feedback, helping me to walk through the story and see it from the reader’s perspective. As for Presley, I had no idea what type of feedback she might provide.
That was, if she even cared to read it.
Liz’s tone softened. “I don’t mean to be a pain in the ass, Jake, but I really do have to have this finished in a week. We’ve got the first-pass editor lined up already.”
“I know.” I sighed. I had never missed a deadline yet, but I knew that Liz was thinking the same thing I was… There was no way I would get this done. I sat up. “I’ll call Presley and see if she’ll read it.”
“Great.” The chipper note was back, as though that was going to solve all of our problems.
A knock sounded on my door, and I quickly told Liz I had to go, springing to my feet and making my way over. I didn’t even bother looking through the security hole, not caring who it was, just content someone had come over.
When I opened it, my heart began to race, seeing Presley standing there, a warm smile on her face.
She held up a bag. “Brought dinner.”
I studied her for a moment, tried not to be too happy that she’d come to me again.
Shrugging it off, I decided to go for cordial. “As long as it’s not tofu…”
Her face fell and she turned around to walk away. Before I could tell her I was joking, she pivoted back around.
“Do you really think I’d force that on you?” Her chuckle warmed me, and I stepped back out of the way, letting her inside.
After taking her coat and folding it over the back of the couch, I took the bag from her hand and carried it to the kitchen.
“I know I’ve already said this, but the place looks a million times—”
Actually, she hadn’t said that, but apparently she thought she had. Regardless, something had caught her attention, so I shrugged off the comment.
When she stopped talking, I turned to see why and noticed her staring at the pictures I’d bought from Gavin.
She laughed. “Does he know you have all those?”
“I’d hope so. Since I bought them from him.�
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“Don’t let him see that,” Presley said when she followed me into the kitchen. “His ego might actually burst.”
“Mum’s the word.” Pulling the food out, I spread it on the kitchen table, then joined Presley when she took a seat. “So, have the two of you worked out your issues?”
Gone was the light in her eyes, and I knew the answer before she had to say anything. Good thing, too, since she didn’t bother to answer.
Goddamn. I was growing tired of her shutting me out, but I didn’t know how to approach the subject without her going off the rails and running away. If I’d learned anything about this woman, it was that she was slow to trust and quick to run. Only I didn’t know why that was.
Her eyes roamed back to the living room walls. “What’re you putting there?” She pointed to the empty space above the fireplace.
“Not sure yet,” I lied. I’d already made the purchase and was just waiting to take possession from the art gallery, but I figured that was the last thing I needed to share with Presley at the moment. The fact that I’d bought the piece she’d had there probably wouldn’t go over too well with her.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find something cool.” Her smile returned and she moved toward me, going up on tiptoe to kiss my lips.
I kissed her back, and for the first time in a week, I felt as though my world wasn’t tilting on its axis, and I knew she was the one responsible for that.
The problem was … I didn’t know how—or if—I should tell her.
Worse … I didn’t even know if I wanted to.
Chapter Sixty-Four
Presley
Despite what it looked like, I honestly hadn’t been avoiding Jake for the past week. Not completely, anyway. Things had just been hectic. When I’d stepped foot into the shop last Wednesday, after I’d spent the night at Jake’s, Charlie had instantly informed me that she needed to head back to her hometown—a tiny dot on the map called Mystery Springs—because something had come up that she needed to take care of.
With her gone, that left me to handle a lot of the shit, and since I’d taken my fair share of time off recently, I’d merely sent her on her merry way and told her not to worry about a thing. On top of that, Blaze had come down with the flu—perhaps conveniently—and that left me one tattoo artist short, so I’d been forced to fill in. It hadn’t been pretty, but I’d managed.