Okay…my mind was in the gutter.
I shook the thoughts away and kept staring at her. She wore a white blouse with a dark blue cardigan over it. She wore skin-tight black jeans with black flats. Her face was free of make up but she still looked like a bombshell.
Was she real? She was too hot to be true.
Her body had all the right curves in the right places. Why did she try so hard to hide herself? It was impossible. I noticed her charms and so did everyone else.
The professor started the class, but I kept looking at her. She never looked in my direction so she probably had no idea I was in the same room as her. At least I could gawk and stare at her all I wanted—for the time being.
When the class was over, I moved into the hallway and waited for her to come out. Walking like she was in a hurry, she sped by. I got on her tail and followed her a short distance away, trying to think of a way to talk to her. She shut me down hard last time. I really didn’t want to feel rejected like that again.
She walked into the library then headed to the third floor. I trailed behind her quietly, watching her upright posture as she moved. My eyes glanced down to her round ass a few times, wondering how it would feel to squeeze it.
She moved to the corner where the tables were. Not many students came here because it was too quiet and abandoned. I was surprised spider webs weren’t in the corners. She clearly wanted to be invisible.
Maybe I should just walk away and leave her alone. She clearly didn’t want to talk to me. But I couldn’t just leave…I had no idea why. I wanted to know why she hated me, why she practically ran from me.
My fascination with this woman was quickly turning into an obsession.
I took a deep breath then approached her table.
She looked up when she saw me, and the agitation was deep in her eyes.
This time, I stayed on the other side of the table, not going anywhere near her. “I won’t come any closer.”
Her eyes were wide and her body was tense. She watched me like a hawk, taking in my every move.
“I was hoping you had the assignment for tonight. I’ve seemed to misplace my syllabus.”
“Assignment?” Her voice was deep and beautiful. It made my spine shiver all the way to my tailbone.
“I have psychology with you.”
The disappointment was evident on her face. “Oh.”
Ouch.
She opened her binder then handed me the paper.
At least she didn’t tell me off this time. “Thanks.” I took it from her then made a few notes in my notebook. I had the syllabus but I couldn’t think of a better excuse to talk to her.
She flipped through her textbook with her highlighter in hand.
After I was done, I handed the paper back. “Thanks. You’re a life saver.”
She returned it to her binder then said nothing.
I’ve never worked this hard to get a girl just to look at me. “So…are you excited for the semester?”
“Not really.” Her eyes were still focused on her textbook.
“Me neither,” I said with a laugh.
Okay…now what do I say?
“What are you working on now?”
She finally turned to me, the irritation coursing through her body. “I’m really busy and I have a lot of things to do. Is there something you wanted?”
This girl was rough around the edges. She may come in a pretty package, but she had a tough personality. Should I just go for it? It was either now or never. “I was hoping I could buy you lunch. I’m good company and I’m a nice guy.”
She sighed in annoyance. I thought she would explode and tell me off. But she didn’t. “Look, I hate to be cold but I’m not dating right now. So please leave me alone and focus your efforts on someone else.”
Not dating right now? What did that mean? So, she didn’t have a boyfriend. That was good news. Now I needed to walk away and give up. She hadn’t responded to my good looks or the sight of my fit body. She was immune. “Well, since we’re in the same class, maybe we could be friends and study together.”
“No, thanks.” She turned back to her book.
“How about—”
“I said no. Don’t you understand the meaning of no? It doesn’t mean try again. It doesn’t mean do it anyway. It means, I said no. Respect me and do as I ask. No. No. No. Just…please….no” Her voice sliced through the quiet atmosphere of the library, catching everyone’s attention. She clenched her fists, making her knuckles turn white. The emotion filled her eyes and she looked like she might break down into tears.
Fuck…what did I do?
She was having a bad day or a bad year. The frustration and anger was heavy on her eyes and body. She stood up and sniffed, shoving everything into her bag as quickly as possible.
I didn’t mean to make her upset. Now I felt like an ass. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”
She ignored me.
I stepped back, hoping the space would make her feel better.
Tears spilled over her eyes then she grabbed her bag and stormed off.
I stayed rooted to the spot, trying to figure out what just happened. How did a conversation turn into such an emotional hardship? How did I hurt her so much? I still couldn’t figure out what happened, but I felt like an asshole anyway.
Seeing the sight of her tears made me feel like shit. It would haunt me forever.
CHAPTER FIVE
Livia
I needed to calm down.
That night would haunt me for the rest of my life. Anything that remotely resembled it made me become weak and scared. I hated being so skittish, turning into something I didn’t recognize.
But I couldn’t help it.
I hated being cornered, unable to get away. I hated the pressure. I hated it when he pressed his advance on me, not listening to me. I told him to leave me alone and he didn’t. It was too similar.
I just wanted to be left alone.
I hid my body as much as possible. I didn’t wear make up so I would look hideous. I wasn’t friendly and I never smiled. I did everything I possibly could to make myself seem as unapproachable as possible.
But that didn’t stop Scotty—or whatever the hell his name is.
He pushed my buttons until I snapped. I hated crying in front of people and refused to do it, but he triggered that emotion inside me. Tears fell quicker than I could stop them. It was like that night all over again. I couldn’t get it out of my head.
He was a tough guy with obvious muscles along his arms and chest. He was tall, reaching high above me. If he wanted to hold me down, he could. I hated the way he looked at me, his eyes constantly glued to my body and my features.
I knew exactly what he wanted but no matter how hard I rejected him, he wouldn’t stop.
Then I broke down and thoroughly embarrassed myself.
Now I was at home in my cave. My canvas was in the middle of the living room, looking dark and twisted. I hadn’t painted a sunrise or ocean tide in months. All I saw was darkness. I was cold and empty, lifeless.
I tried to get back on my feet but I couldn’t. I lost all my friends, my family despised me, and now my artwork was suffering. Every time I tried to drag myself out I couldn’t. I was stuck.
My friends used to call all the time but when I stopped answering they gave up. I pushed them away until they were too far gone to go back. All of this was my fault. If I hadn’t let that night ruin my life, I might still have something to live for.
The walls were caving in and my thoughts were suffocating me.
I couldn’t breathe.
My phone buzzed to life. I’m going to a fight tonight. Come with me. It was my brother.
It’s Thursday. Shouldn’t you be studying?
You need to have fun while you’re working your ass off. If not, what’s the point?
I wish I could be like him. I missed being fun and outgoing. Now I preferred the company of silence over real people. I have plans.
; I’m calling your bluff. I’ll pick you up at 8.
Ash, I don’t want to go.
Too bad. I’m dragging you there.
I really hated my brother sometimes. I put my phone aside and tried to think about something else. I was spending too much time being upset about things out of my control. I needed to take my life back.
But where did I start?
My phone rang and I saw my boss’s name.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Livia.” His voice held a slightly French accent. “How are you?”
“Well. You?”
“Well. Thanks for asking.”
He was always so polite.
“How’s your new piece coming along?”
I knew he needed it for his gallery. I sold my artwork for a living and I made decent money doing it. “I’m almost done.”
He sighed. “This one is taking longer than usual.”
“I know…I can’t rush it.”
“Yeah.” There was a pause over the phone. “Well, I’ve had a few people ask for something new by you and I told them it would be ready soon. I hope you let me keep my word.”
Rydell was a wonderful boss and a kind man. I respected him and hated letting him down. “I’ll make sure it’s ready soon.”
“Thank you, darling.” He hung up.
I went back to sitting in the dark.
My brother pounded on my door right at eight. “Open the door, brat.”
I rolled my eyes then pulled it open. “I said I’m not going.”
“It’s not even a weekend. It won’t be crazy.”
“I just don’t want to, okay?”
“Why not?” he demanded. “Give me one good reason why.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down.
I didn’t have one. “I don’t have to justify anything to you.”
He grabbed my wrist. “Come on. I’ll drag you if I have to.”
“I’m just going to stand there and look miserable.”
“Then don’t,” he snapped.
“You’re going to hook up with some chick within ten minutes and then I’ll be stranded.”
He rolled his eyes. “I won’t hook up with anyone. I’ll be beside you the whole time. Now let’s go.”
I wasn’t sure I could believe him.
“Livia, what’s going on? It’s like you died. I asked the girls why you stopped talking and they said you never called them back.”
“I just didn’t have anything to say…”
The anger disappeared from his eyes, replaced by sadness. “Livia, why won’t you tell me?”
I hated lying to him. He was a jerk but he was my jerk. He acted like he hated me but I knew he loved me deeply. But I couldn’t tell him the truth. What would he think of me? “There’s nothing to tell…”
He sighed in annoyance then turned away. “Let’s go.”
Ash ordered two beers then handed me one.
“You’re going to drink two?” I asked incredulously.
“One is for you, idiot.” He paid the bartender then headed inside the seating area.
I walked beside him, having no intention of even taking a sip.
Ash moved to the second row right next to the ring. I’d never been to a fight before, and I never showed any interest in the sport. It was just two huge guys trying to rip each other apart like grizzly bears.
“Why did you take me to this?” I asked over the sound of the crowd.
“So you would get out and join the rest of civilization.”
“Like you care that much,” I jabbed.
“Actually, I do.” He drank half his beer then eyed mine. “You aren’t going to drink that?”
“No.” I hated to be rude but there was no way in hell I would even take a sip of it.
“You used to love beer.”
“Well, I only drink out of a sealed bottle.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nevermind. Have mine when you’re done with yours.”
He shook his head. “Annoying…”
The crowd went wild when the fighters took to the ring. A large man came from the right, his eyes furrowed and his chest pounding. The other guy was smaller than him, having a slim waist and thick thighs. When he came closer, I watched his posse. A girl was all over him, and I saw the rock on her finger. He rubbed his nose against hers then gave her a long kiss. All of his boys rolled their eyes.
And I recognized one of them.
It was the guy from the library—Scotty.
My heart immediately kicked into overdrive. I wasn’t sure why. My brother was sitting right beside me. He’d take out anybody for just annoying me. I stayed in my seat and watched him. Scotty clapped the fighter on the shoulder and shared a few words with him. He seemed carefree and upbeat, even happy.
The fighter climbed into the ring, and his fiancé stayed outside the ropes in his corner.
“Rip him apart, Liam!” She was more enthused than her fiancé was.
The guys retreated from the corner then headed to their seats.
Scotty’s eyes locked to mine when he came near. His seat was directly in front of mine. There was no way for me to get away from him.
What are the odds of this happening?
Scotty recovered from the shock then sat down, not saying a word to me.
Hallelujah.
“What’s wrong?” Ash asked.
“Nothing,” I said immediately.
He eyed me suspiciously then returned his attention to the ring.
The fight began and the opponents rushed each other, bloodthirsty rage in their eyes. They swung at each other and smacked each other hard. Blood spilled into the sky but they kept going. Ash was into it, yelling and screaming. He took my beer when he finished his and focused on the game. I eyed Scotty in front of me, seeing the back of his head. His dark brown hair was slightly curly at the ends. His cologne wafted into my nose. It smelled masculine and faint. I waited for him to turn around and say something to me but he never did.
Maybe he finally gave up.
Now I was embarrassed over the way I behaved. I took everything out of proportion and lashed out at him. I thought about apologizing, but if I was never going to speak to him again, what was the point?
When the game was over, the fighter who had a cute girl at his side won. She moved into the ring and embraced him despite the sweat dripping off his body. Seeing the obvious love they had for each other was beautiful. He was strong and fit, able to protect her from anything. And she seemed relaxed around him, knowing she was safe.
What was that like?
“So, this was much better than sitting at home all night, right?” Ash finished his beer then tossed the plastic cup on the ground.
I didn’t bother to respond. Scotty was in earshot.
“Dallas owes me a hundred bucks.”
“You bet on the fight?”
“Yep. Some extra spending money.”
My parents paid for his apartment, his tuition, and gave him spending money. He had it made.
“Did you at least think one of the guys were cute?” he asked.
For some reason, I felt awkward with Scotty sitting so close. “No. One of them is engaged.”
“So? I check out married women all the time.”
“Good for you,” I said sarcastically.
He nudged me in the side. “Lighten up a bit. Be a girl.”
“I am a girl,” I argued.
“That’s debatable.”
This argument was going nowhere. “Let’s go.”
Without another look at Scotty, Ash and I left the ring then headed to the street.
“Let’s head to the bar.”
There was one next door. “You already had two beers.”
“Why not make it three?”
The last thing I wanted to do was go to a bar. “I already went to the fight with you. I’m done for the night.”
He looked at his watch. “It’s nine o’ clock. You’re a night owl an
yway.”
“I still have things to do.”
He rolled his eyes. “Just one beer.”
Ugh, I hated my brother right now.
We walked inside then sat down at a table.
“What do you want to drink?” he asked.
I eyed the wall. “A Bud Light—in a bottle.”
“Tap is better.”
“Bottle,” I said firmly. “And let me open it.”
He shook his head. “You’re so fucking weird.” He left the table then headed to the bar.
I stayed in my seat and surveyed the people around me. The heated stares of men burned into my skin but I ignored them. I wasn’t sure what they were looking at. I was a mess. I hadn’t even brushed my hair before we left the house. But I guess men would take anything when the lights were low.
The door opened and I saw Scotty walk inside, his friends and the fighter with his fiancé along side him. I hoped he wouldn’t get brave and try to talk to me again. I averted my gaze so he would have no reason to talk to me.
My brother came back. “Okay. Bud Light in a bottle.” He slid it across the table.
I checked the seal then slid it back to him. “Could you open it, please?”
He glared at me. “You told me to let you open it.”
“I just wanted to check it first.”
“For what?” he demanded.
“Just open it,” I hissed.
He twisted the cap off without any trouble then pushed it back to me. “No wonder why you don’t have any friends—you’re weird.”
“Yeah whatever.” I didn’t bother fighting him.
Ash’s eyes drifted around the room. “There are a lot of cute girls here…”
“You said you wouldn’t ditch me.”
“I know…I’m just saying. See anyone you like?”
“No.” I wasn’t attracted to men anymore. They were all disgusting to me. They only had one thing on their mind, and they would do anything to get it.
“Do you like girls or something?” Ash demanded.
“No,” I snapped. “Geez, just because I’m not a whore like you doesn’t mean I don’t like men.”
“I can’t tell sometimes…”
“Whatever.”
“Maybe you should give this blind date a try. If he’s willing to go out with you, he can’t be that bad.” He smirked at me.
Unstoppable (Forehead Kisses #4) Page 3