by Sherry Soule
“You’re worth it, Serena.”
I hung my head. “I’m glad you think so. Sometimes, I’m not so sure.”
“Well, I do, because I’ve met someone extraordinary who’s going to change my life.”
“You did that on your own by going away to college.”
“Yeah, in a way I guess I did. My father and I never...well...he’d say it’s my fault that we never got along. But it’s his drinking that’s the problem. It’s not really fair, but whatever. Things got worse after my older brother, Jack moved out of the house. But, you know, as bad as it gets between me and him, I think it’s even worse for my mom. Who’s so amazing, she’s funny and graceful. She used to smile more.” Cole tugged at his collar and cleared his throat. “When my father and I fight, she gets so unhappy, and...sometimes she cries all night. Now that I’m away at college, my father and I don’t have to be around each other, and my mom isn’t so unhappy anymore. I hope. It’s just better for everyone when I’m not around…”
I put my hand in his and glanced at his face. “On top of my mental issues, I’ve got major parental drama, too. My home life isn’t ideal, but it’s not that bad,” I said. “My dad’s trying to encourage me to move on. But I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.”
Cole squeezed my fingers. “I don’t go home for breaks or holidays. It’s just easier this way, but I really miss my mom. So it also kinda sucks, you know?”
“Yeah, it sounds awful.” I rubbed his back and the tension in his muscles slightly relaxed. “My dad won’t let me forget my past, so there’s all this tension every time we talk, as if he expects me to go full-throttle crazy on him. I feel like he’s got a straitjacket hidden somewhere and he’s just waiting for me to breakdown again. My dad seemed relieved when I left L.A., maybe because I can’t embarrass him now…” I slipped my arm around his waist and squeezed. “Although, having a daughter, one fry short of a Happy Meal, might help get him the sympathy vote,” I joked.
His damp eyes meet mine. “Are you trying to cheer me up for a change?”
“Yup. Is it working?”
He softly smiled and brushed aside a stray tear from his cheek. “You’re a true work of heart, Serena DuPont.”
I smiled, too. “Nice play on words.”
Cole leaned me slowly backward onto the bed and my leg hooked over his. A thrill of heat rushed through me. He slid his hands underneath my hair and pulled me to him, then pressed his lips to mine. His kisses urgent. Almost violent. He slid his hands under my shirt and my breath caught, but his palms stopped on my stomach.
Cole pulled back and gazed into my eyes. “I’ve fallen hard for you, Serena,” he whispered. “I love you.”
He’d said those infamous three words, eight letters that lit a fire in my heart. It meant he was serious about having a chance at a real relationship. But was I ready to make the same commitment?
“You don’t have to say that,” I said.
His brown eyes were stormy, fierce. “I meant it Serena, with all my heart. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
My heart was drowning in depths I didn’t know it could reach. “I love you, too.”
He softly kissed me. “I’m so glad we found each other, Serena. I just want to protect you and make you happy. Always.”
Cole crushed his mouth to mine and rolled on top of me. Parting my legs with one of his knees, warmth instantly pooled low in my belly. He molded himself into me and we began a slow, rhythmic bump and grind. The deep kisses were the most thorough, most sensual, best make-out session conceivable. For that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the Zeta Betas. Pledge Hell. Or all the creeptastic threats by that sorority hater. Because Cole was holding and kissing me, and for those few precious seconds, all seemed right with the world again.
He moved away and stood to help me undress. When all my clothes except my black lace thong were lying in a pile on the floor, he slipped off his own clothing. My skin was trembling in heated anticipation before he’d even taken off his boxer/briefs. Cole gently laid top of me, so we could resume exploring each other’s bodies with our lips, fingers, and hands until we were both breathing hard. His manhood throbbed against my core and a ragged lust filled groan rose in his throat.
I sucked in a breath when his lips started making a sensual journey from my throat, over my breasts, and down my stomach. My skin quivered when Cole bent one of my legs, letting his hands slowly trail down the inside of my thigh before doing the same to the other. He knelt back and hooked his fingers on either side of my lacy panties, and drew the thong down my legs. He kissed his way back up my body to my mouth, then pushed himself inside me, biting back a groan. Cole cupped the firmness of each of my breasts and I arched upward. Liquid flames lapped at my insides. His hand wrapped around my back, pulling me closer to him as we moved together and he stirred my body to new heights with each stroke. My bones seemed to dissolve under his skilled touch.
When we finished, we laid there holding each other and whispering our love for one another.
A flood of fireworks bigger than Chinese New Year gave me a surge of happiness I hadn’t felt in ages. No way could I give him up. Not now. Not when I finally found someone who understood and knew my darkest secrets.
PAST LOVES
A door slammed out in the hallway of the dorm. I jerked straight up in my chair, and blinked my eyes. I’d fallen asleep on my notes and European history textbook. Some drool stained the page with the naked Greek statues.
Yawning, I stretched my arms over my head and unfolded my legs from beneath the desk. At this rate, I was never going to pass that class if I couldn’t stay awake while studying. I may have to search the Internet on how to build an IV caffeine drip. Or maybe I could borrow one of Vanessa’s energy drinks and replace it tomorrow.
My phone buzzed and I expected it to be a call from Brooklyn, Cole, or even my dad, but the caller ID read “Unidentified Caller.”
“Um, hello?”
“Hey! It’s Seth.” His gravelly voice crackled through the phone.
Breathe in, breathe out.
A bundle of nerves formed in my stomach. It was my ex. The guy who’d cheated on me with my best friend and shattered my heart. He was a first-rate snake.
“How are you?” he asked.
Small talk? Really?
“Fantastic. And yourself?” I asked, my voice shaky.
“Good. Good…” Seth sighed into the receiver.
An awkward silence followed. That jerk would not screw with my head. He was a two-timing, slimy excuse for a human being.
“What do you want, snake—I mean, Seth?”
“Please don’t hang up. After some begging I got your number from your stepmother and I just…I need to talk to you. Can you meet me in the student parking lot by your dorm in about ten minutes?”
My heart lurched. I jumped off the chair and stomped around the room. “You’re here? In Northern California?”
“Yeah, I drove down yesterday. I have to see you. Please,” he begged.
Hesitation stilled my tongue. I told myself a billion times that I never wanted to see Seth again. It took a moment to catch my breath. It was astonishing how easily his voice pulled me back into the nightmare. I used to think I saw his face in crowds, driving by in cars, or on advertisement billboards. After our breakup, I’d shed more tears over Seth than when my old friends and I had seen “The Fault in Our Stars.” I had gone through every possible emotion, always able to find a Taylor Swift song to relate to whatever it was that I was feeling.
Breathe in, breathe out.
“Look, if this is some twelve step therapy for bastards-who-sleep-with-your-roommate program, then go seek forgiveness elsewhere,” I said.
“I deserved that. You’re still feeling salty over the breakup.”
“Salty?” I laughed. “Chips are salty, sea water is salty. I passed salty several months ago!”
“Don’t be like that. Come on. For old times’ sake,” Seth pleaded. “I e
ven miss the smell of your charcoal.”
“Must make going to a barbeque a real bitch.”
“Please just hear me out.”
I had confessed everything to Cole and now my spirit felt lighter. Maybe getting some closure with Seth might help me to finally move on and close the door on the past.
So how did a girl confront the curb when she’d been kicked to it? She got back up after getting the boot by confronting the person who’d left her there. He was wrong to dump me. Seth never really knew me. Not the real me. Now I was a new woman. So over him, it wasn’t even funny. He meant nothing to me now. And I decided I no longer cared about the past, and I wouldn’t let it define me anymore. My therapist would be so proud.
I blew out a breath. “Okay, Seth, but I can’t stay long.”
“Thank you! See you soon.” He hung up.
I stared at the phone. Nothing good ever came from guys like Seth. He was just a snake looking to shed his skin, and act all broken and pitiful, then go right back to his twofaced, cheating ways.
Outside, the night air was cool and crisp. There wasn’t a sound on campus except the crickets chirping on the grounds. The scent of newly mown grass filled the air.
“Seth?” I called, glancing around the darkness.
My ex-boyfriend moved out of the shadows and into the dim light of the lamppost, illuminating his lanky body, golden curls, and handsome face. He wore a long black trench over a hooded green sweatshirt and jeans. In his hands, he held a bouquet of daisies, my favorite flower.
Seth handed me the flowers. “Hi…”
Then he smiled his sweet, toothy grin that used to make my heart melt. But this time my stomach knotted. The poor douche-canoe must’ve thought he was working his charm on the old Serena. Instead of imagining how we used to rip each other’s clothes off with our bodies crashing together, the only image I had was of me kicking him the balls. Hard.
I flung the daisies at his feet. “A trip to the florist can’t trump a night spent cheating on me with my ho-bag roommate.”
“I-I thought it was a nice gesture,” he said lamely, shuffling his feet. “Guess it’s gonna take more than that, huh?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What did you want to see me about?”
Seth rubbed the back of his neck. “You look great.”
“What do you want?” I repeated, while wondering if nailing his head to a dartboard with my favorite red stilettos would really be the best use for those shoes at this junction in my life.
“I just hated the way we ended things,” Seth said, lifting one shoulder.
“You mean the way you did.” My arms flew apart. “You cheated on me with my roommate—then got freaking in engaged!”
“I know! But now I’m having second thoughts…” Seth ran a hand through his hair. “I love Alyssa, but I can’t stop thinking about you lately. After I heard that you had a nervous breakdown, I felt so shitty—”
“You should, but it was a dumb of me to let a guy have that much power over me.”
“I’m really, really sorry about what I did to you.” His eyes filled with tears. “Say you forgive me. Please say you’ll take me back.”
I shook my head. “Seth, you actually did me the biggest favor of my life.” My voice came out steady and strong. “Letting me go gave me an opportunity to meet someone who truly loves, cherishes, and wants to be with me. It was the biggest solid you’ve ever done. You’re just not worthy of me, or my time, anymore.”
“But…but I think I’m still in love with you, Serena.”
“Then get over it. I don’t love you anymore, and I’ve met someone else. You need to go back to Los Angeles. Back to Alyssa.”
His head lowered, his chin touching his chest. “I had to try…I know I made a mistake and I regret it now.” Seth lifted his chin and blinked back tears, swiping at his nose with his sleeve. “Can we at least be friends?”
Time to finally let the weepy, dejected, pitiful me go, so I could leave her behind for good. I had gotten my closure without being institutionalized or needing shock therapy. Go, me!
I nodded. “Sure. It’s all in the past, and it’s time for both of us to move on.”
“You’re a really good person, Serena.”
I faintly smiled. “I know.”
Seth moved closer and I let him hug me. It felt awkward at first. Then a giant gong went off in my head. I could be standing in my dad’s arms. I felt nothing. No vaginal action whatsoever. Not a tingle, quiver, or heart palpitation. His hold on me was gone. My backstabbing BFF Alyssa was more than welcome to this jerk. I relaxed and hugged him back.
“What the hell? Who’s this dirtbag?” Cole said from behind us, his voice laced with venom.
Shit! I shot out of Seth’s embrace. Cole grabbed my arm and jerked on it hard. I tumbled into him and he tripped back slightly. I braced my hands against his solid chest and straightened.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Cole.
Seth’s cheeks puffed and reddened. He gripped my wrist and turned me to face him. “Can we go someplace more private and talk. Please?”
Cole stepped forward, put his palms against Seth’s chest, and shoved him backward into a lamppost. “Do not touch, Serena,” he growled.
“Stop it, Cole. There’s no need to go all cavemen,” I said, quickly moving between the two men.
Tension and testosterone thickened the cool night air. Cole was breathing hard like a wild bull on the end of a short rope. He stood at least three inches taller and twenty pounds heavier than my ex.
Seth was smart enough to back up a few steps, sweat beading his forehead. “Who is this joker?” he asked me.
“Cole is…is…” I stammered because we’d never really defined what we were in romantic terms. “My friend,” I finished.
Seth’s mouth set in a grim line, his jaw tense. “Well, inform your friend that we were having a private conversation before he rudely interrupted. And we’d appreciate it if he minded his own damn business.”
“Tell me yourself.” Cole moved forward with both palms striking Seth’s chest and forcing him backward again. He turned to me. “What the hell’s going on? I come by to see you how you’re doing—and find you with this guy all up on you!”
“It’s my ex Seth,” I said calmly. “He only wanted to talk. And it was just a goodbye hug.”
“Talk about what?” Cole asked, his voice low and hard. “How he broke your heart?”
“Cole, please,” I said. “Don’t make a big thing out of it.”
Seth stood to the side with an unreadable expression, listening to us argue.
A vein in Cole’s forehead throbbed. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to forgive him!”
“Hell no,” I said, shaking my head. “But it was nice to finally realize that I’m completely over him now without any epic meltdowns or rages.”
Cole stared into my eyes as if he didn’t believe me. He took my hand and turned his back on Seth. “I don’t want to just be friends, Serena…I want more. We’re good for each other. I realize we’re different, yet you know me better than anyone. I could make you happy…if you just let me try.”
My chest filled with this overwhelming and unexpected lightness. “I want that too,” I whispered.
Seth clapped his hands mockingly. “Nice try, but Serena’s not into that romantic crap.”
Cole’s jaw clenched. His nostrils flared. “That just goes to show how much you don’t know her. My girl’s still a romantic at heart.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re screwing her.” Seth glared hard at me and Cole. “I guess I wasted a trip here since she’s banging you now. I don’t even know why I bothered with that whore.”
I stepped back. My jaw dropped open, then snapped shut. My eyes met Cole’s. “Um, remember when I said not to go all cavemen?”
He nodded. “I sure do, babe.”
“Have at it.” I turned to Seth, the snake. “Excuse me. I’ll just stand over here, so
I have a clear view of Cole beating the shit outta you.” I moved aside and crossed my arms.
Cole’s chest puffed. Fists curled. “Take it back.”
Seth rolled his eyes. “Why should I—”
Cole’s fist crashed against Seth’s cheek with a loud cracking noise, knocking him to the pavement. He fell onto his butt, blood seeping from a deep cut on his busted lip.
“You son of a bitch!” Seth bellowed and hoisted himself up, swiping his bloody lip with the back of his pale hand.
“I’m going to kick your ass, douchebag,” Cole said, moving his fists up and his legs into a boxer’s stance. “You’ve got three frigging’ second to apologize to Serena.”
“Apologize to her?” Seth scoffed. “Not gonna happen.”
Cole lifted his chin. “One…two…”
Seth swung towards Cole, but he dodged the hit. Cole struck out with a fist and slammed his knuckles into the other boy’s ribcage, causing Seth to double over. Before Seth could recover, Cole punched him in the face, and a satisfying crack filled the air. A gush of blood leaked from Seth’s nose as he held his face and groaned.
This is not going to end well.
“Stop!” I yelled. “Before the campus police show up.”
Ignoring me, Cole advanced on Seth with his fists raised. “He hasn’t apologized yet.”
I grabbed Cole’s arm and pulled him back. “You should leave,” I said, without breaking eye contact with Cole.
“Yeah. Beat it, asshole,” Seth said smugly.
Cole flicked a glance at my ex-snake. “She meant you.”
I threaded my fingers through Cole’s strong ones. “You heard my boyfriend.”
Seth stumbled back as if I’d stabbed him in the heart. “Incredible. I can’t believe you’re choosing this loser over me.”
“Yup. What can I say? I’ve fallen hard.” I smiled up at Cole. “And, Seth, just a heads up…my invitation to the wedding should have a plus one.”
Without another word, Seth marched across the parking lot to his Mustang and roared out of the driveway.