by R L Medina
I will NOT be your soldier.
“In time, you will learn to accept your responsibility. Until then, you’ll remain compelled.”
With that, he marched out, leaving me reeling. Anger stirred hot and boiling inside me. Silence filled the room, but my heart roared in my ears. I couldn’t move or speak, and it had nothing to do with my tío’s control over me.
“I’m sorry.”
I whipped toward Javi. His face flashed with regret and grief. The pity I found in his stare only fueled my emotions.
Sorry. He was sorry?
My life had become a cage at only seventeen. It was wrong, and I would not accept it. I would fight it every step of the way and somehow, I would find a way out.
“Do you… did you still want me to explain more?” His words were measured and soft.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head. “No. I’ve heard enough for now.”
He nodded. “Okay. Do you want to… I don’t know. What do you want to do?” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I’ll be in my room.” I marched off before he could stop me.
He let me go without an argument. I retraced my steps back to the room they’d given me, blinking away the hot tears. The ache that was becoming fearfully familiar, spread in my chest. I needed Papi. I longed to run to him and let out all my frustrations. I wanted to yell at him for keeping me in the dark and I wanted to hear the truth from his mouth. I needed him to tell me what to do. To promise me it was going to be okay.
I made it to my room and threw myself down on the giant bed. My mind swam with questions and my emotions clashed together. Exhausted, I eventually closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
6
I woke up to find a steaming hot plate of tamales waiting for me on a tray. After a full belly, I pulled out my phone and squared my shoulders back.
My reflection stared back at me from the black screen. I turned it on and went to my texts. The phone didn’t work—not to tell anyone what really happened to me. I’d tried that already. I could read all my messages, but my fingers wouldn’t move to make any reply. My eyes scanned the numerous texts from my friends.
Why did you leave without saying goodbye? Are you okay? When are you coming back?
I sighed. Never. And no, I was most certainly not okay. Tears prickled my eyes once more, but I blinked them away. I’d done enough crying. It was time to take some action.
My eyes landed on the door leading to the balcony. I’d discovered earlier that it was locked, but that gave me hope. If they locked it, maybe it meant I would be able to break free from my tío’s hold long enough to scale down it, which they obviously didn’t want me doing. All I needed to do was find a way to unlock it.
A knock snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned to the door and frowned as my body moved of its own accord. My hand stretched out and turned the handle.
Tía Teresa stood on the other side, her dark eyebrows pinched in worry. I braced myself for whatever was coming and motioned her in.
She glanced around at my belongings, staring at the photos I’d pinned up on the wall. It was the only way to keep my sanity. Pretend everything was normal. There were pictures of me with my friends, who were probably wondering if I was purposefully trying to forget them, and pictures of Papi and I. She paused in front of the only photo I’d brought of my parents and I together. I was just an infant in my mother’s arms.
“Your mother was a remarkable woman,” she finally spoke.
My eyebrow arched. “Oh?”
A sad smile spread on her face. “She was destined for great things.”
I scoffed. “So much for that working out, huh?”
She frowned. “Your mother was not perfect, Rosa, but she did do great things in her short time here. She was one of the best GRIMM agents. A hero until she left.”
“Why did she leave? Do you know?”
Her eyes searched mine. “She didn’t agree with the rules and protocols. She thought the organization was too extreme in their thinking. Too oppressive with the innocent extraordinaire.”
“Extraordinaire?”
“The magical beings. Not all of them are monsters.”
I blinked in surprise. Maybe I did have more in common with my mom than I’d thought. If she walked away from the GRIMMs without going crazy in the head, maybe I could do it too.
“The GRIMMs are… strict. They have to be. Without guidelines and rules, it wouldn’t work.”
“Aren’t you a GRIMM?”
She nodded. “Yes, but I never passed the final exam. I’m just a supporting role in the operations. I help your tío.”
I stared at her. Did she regret her decision? Did she feel forced into that life?
“It’s not like you think. I’ve accepted I’ll never be more, and what I do matters too.”
Not knowing what to say to that, I remained silent. My eyes fell on the floor, the tension growing awkward in the room.
“But I don’t think that will be your fate.” She smiled.
“No. It won’t.” I stared at her dead on.
She glanced at the photos once more. “I am sorry, Rosa. Sorry for everything you have lost. It never should have happened like this. Your abuelos should have done more. Your parents too.”
I bristled. “My papi did plenty for me. Kept me safe and away from all of you.”
She flinched. “That is not true.” Her face hardened. “Your tío is the one who protected you. He broke the council’s laws to do it and went against your abuelo’s knowledge. You have him to thank for keeping you out of sight. You should be more grateful.”
Heat spread across my face. Grateful? No chance in hell of that.
She let out a heavy sigh. “I did not come in here to fight with you, Rosa. I don’t want to be enemies. We are family. All you have left.”
I didn’t respond. Her words left me hollow. I turned away, refusing to look at her. I didn’t turn back until the sound of her retreating footsteps sounded outside my door.
That night my dreams were haunted once more. Visions of the closed casket and my mother’s portrait plagued me. No matter how much I tried to forget, Manny’s transforming face replayed again and again. I woke up in a sweat, clutching my covers tightly to my chest.
I blinked, trying to calm my racing heart. My body thrummed in flight mode while my mind slowly pieced together current events.
I was safe. Safe in my bed in my tío’s house. Chills crawled over me. But was I really safe?
Bright light streamed into my window waking me up. For a moment I couldn’t remember where I was or what happened. Pain blossomed in my chest as it all came back to me.
Papi was dead and I was stuck with my lunatic family who wanted me to join their legion of monster hunters.
Forcing myself up, I threw off the covers and slid off the bed. I went straight for the balcony door and tugged at it. Locked. Of course. I turned and made a beeline for the bedroom door and was delighted to find I could open it.
My heart pounded. Did this mean the hold on me was gone? I glanced down at the metal bracelet. How long would the power be off?
I needed to act fast.
Still in my jeans and long-sleeved shirt, I pulled on my socks and laced up my boots. I grabbed my backpack from the closet and started shoving things in. Extra clothes. My makeup. Phone. Spare cash. I pulled down some of my photos and zipped them inside the pocket. I’d sneak into the kitchen next and swipe some food and water.
Adrenaline pumped through me as I threw the backpack on and quietly snuck out the door. I glanced up and down at the empty hall, heart racing. Retracing my steps, I headed for the giant kitchen. My ears strained as I tried to listen for any sound. What if I ran into my tío?
My fist clenched. I wouldn’t stay without a fight.
Making my way past the game room and dining area, I paused and pressed myself against the wall. Feeling confident, I peered around the corner and scanned the kitchen.
Empty.
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I hurried to the pantry, heart thumping against my ribcage. Glancing over my shoulder once more, I stepped inside the giant pantry and grabbed as much as I could. It would be enough to get me through until… I knew my next step.
Shoes clicked against the tiled floor. My heart leapt into my throat as I paused, still clutching a bag of chips. I held my breath and waited until the footsteps faded. Carefully, I peeked through the crack of the open door and sighed in relief when I didn’t find anyone. Tossing the last of the snacks into my backpack, I stepped out.
A small, blonde woman stood on the other side of the door. I jumped.
She gave me a curious look and a curtsey. “Did you need help, senorita?” Her voice was thick with an accent I didn’t recognize.
My cheeks flamed. “Oh… no, I… I’m fine.”
“Should I make you something to eat?” Her face remained a blank mask.
There was something off about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but my instincts told me to be on guard. Her brown eyes bore into mine. Realizing I was still staring at her, I flushed and shook my head no. “I’m good. Thanks.”
She nodded and turned abruptly, no doubt to start on some other task. I watched her go, stunned.
I was used to having help. We had a cook, maid, and gardener, but they’d been more like family and we’d never made them wear uniforms.
“What are you doing?” Javi appeared in the doorway.
I spun around to face him.
His eyes flitted to my backpack and narrowed on me. “Were you trying to get Anya to help you run away?”
“So, what if I was? You going to tell on me?”
He let out a laugh. “Rose, none of the servants are going to help you. My dad pays them a lot of money to keep quiet. Plus, Anya is part fairy. She’d never betray my father because she’d find herself on the outs with every GRIMM.”
My eyes widened. “Fairy? What, like sparkly wing fairy?”
“Yup. Though her wings are more shiny than sparkly. Did you see them?”
I stared in the direction she’d gone. “No. Why couldn’t I see them?”
“Huh. Maybe your sight isn’t in fully? You should be able to see past the glamour. Even halflings like her can produce pretty good glamour.”
“Halfling. Part fairy and part… human? Like a human and fairy got together?”
Humor shown in Javi’s eyes. “Yeah, that’s how that typically works.”
“How is that even physically possible?”
He laughed. “Fairies aren’t that much smaller than humans. You’re probably thinking of pixies. Those are the little ones.”
My mouth dropped. He was dead serious, and somehow I was the crazy one. Shifters, fairies, pixies, who knew how long that list of creatures was. It was all too much.
I glanced toward the front door, calculating how fast I could make it.
Javi stood blocking my escape. I’d never make it past him.
“Let me go, Javi. Please. I don’t want to be here.”
His brow furrowed. “I can’t, Rose. Only my dad can break the bond.”
His words struck me like an arrow. I stumbled back a step. “But I thought…”
“The bracelet won’t let you leave the house without my dad’s approval. Only your room.”
My backpack slid down on my arm. So much for my brilliant plan to escape. I stood there, numbed.
Javi’s face softened. “If you promise not to run, I’ll tell my father to release the hold on you.”
I shot him a glare. “Yeah, like that will happen. This isn’t right and you know it, Javi. Are you guys going to keep me prisoner forever?”
He flinched. “You’re not our prisoner, Rose. You’re family.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know anything about family. Your family sucks.”
Anger flashed across his face. “If you would just give us a chance…”
“Javi? Rosa?” Tía Teresa entered, breaking our conversation.
Her eyes landed on my backpack. My face flamed in embarrassment. She ignored it and folded her hands in front of herself. Her fancy tan pantsuit fit her flawlessly and gave her an air of superiority I hadn’t seen yet.
“You will have to handle breakfast on your own today. I have an errand I must run. Anya is in, so you can tell her what you’d like, and she’ll be happy to make it for you.” She directed the last part to me.
My eyebrows shot up. Were we not going to discuss my failed attempt at running away? Javi looked just as stunned as she waved goodbye and disappeared down the hall.
“Are you going to tell your dad?”
He turned back toward me. “No.”
“Thanks.”
He blew out his breath. “I know everything sucks right now, but I promise it will get better.”
My lips twisted, but I said nothing. He was trying to console me. I knew it was genuine, but he didn’t understand. It would never be better.
I didn’t want to be a blind soldier like him.
“Yeah. I guess I’m gonna go put this stuff back.”
“Do you want to eat first? I’m starving.”
“Sure.” I shrugged.
I watched him move around the kitchen, whistling as he went. It was hard to picture that this was the same boy who’d shot the shifter multiple times and would spend the rest of his life hunting monsters. In a way, I pitied him. He hadn’t asked for this life either and instead of fighting back, he’d accepted it.
I could never do that.
“Did you just put hot sauce in the pan?”
He whipped toward me. “Yup. Cholula.”
I made a face.
He shook the spatula at me. “Have you tried it before?”
“Not in an omelet. Gross. No.”
“Then you can’t say anything until you’ve tried it.”
With an exaggerated bow he set the plate in front of me and handed me a fork. My stomach rumbled at the sight of the steaming egg, potato, and veggies. He turned back to plate his own and joined me. Unlike the massive dining table we’d eaten at yesterday, the kitchen table was small and cozy.
“Oh. Wait. You’re gonna need something to drink with that.” He stood up and walked to the fridge. “What do you want?”
“Water is fine.”
“Bubbly or regular?”
My eyebrow arched. “Regular water is fine.”
He filled up two glasses for us and rejoined me. I thanked him and blew on the omelet before taking my first bite.
To my surprise, Javi was as good of a cook as his mom was. The hot sauce had a strong kick, but it was tempered by the avocado he’d thrown on top. Still, I devoured the omelet too quickly, burning my tongue.
Javi gave me a smug smile. “See? Not so gross now, huh?”
I chugged down the water and sighed. “It’s good. I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Mama taught me.”
A pain blossomed in my chest. If my mom had lived, would she have taught me? It wasn’t the first time I felt the sting of my loss, but it had been a long time since I’d really thought about it.
Pushing away the emotions, I sat back in the chair and eyed my cousin. “So, aren’t you supposed to be at magic school?”
He tensed. “It’s not magic school. This isn’t Harry Potter. It’s advanced, serious training. Anyway, I got excused from classes. Family matter. But today I’m taking you over to see the campus.”
My eyes snapped to his. We were leaving the house? Hope rose inside me. Already my brain ran the scenarios, planning a way to get away from him.
“If you’re thinking about running away again, stop.” His words shattered my thoughts.
I frowned. “I’m not.”
He scoffed and scraped the rest of his omelet off his plate. “Before we go, I thought we could start a little training here.”
My lip curled.
“See if you have any skill with a weapon.” His eyes flashed with excitement.
“No thanks.”
&n
bsp; His smile faltered. “There’s not a lot else to do before my dad takes us over to the academy. Unless you want to listen to my dad’s lecture on GRIMM protocols.”
“Fine. Weapons it is.”
The smile returned once again.
I bit back a groan and stood to carry my plate and cup to the sink. I stared at the decorative plaque hanging above the double sink. Two flamenco dancers painted in vibrant reds and oranges. Beautiful, but a strange choice for the kitchen.
“Your mom painted that,” Javi interrupted.
I spun around to face him. “She did? Why is it here?”
He shrugged. “It was saved with abuela’s stuff. Must have been when your mom was young. Mama wanted to keep it and thought it would brighten the kitchen.”
I stared at the picture again as if it could reveal secrets of my mother—who she had really been and if I was anything like her.
“You can leave the dishes there. Anya will get them.” Javi broke my thoughts.
I’d already washed the egg off, so I slipped it into the dishwasher along with my cup. Turning back to Javi, I sized him up.
There was no kidding myself into believing this would be a fair match up. I’d never hit as many targets as he could. He was a freaking hulk with a gun. I’d never shot anything before, and my only experience with swords was my failed lessons with fencing. Papi insisted I try the sport because it had been Mama’s favorite, but I was terrible at it.
Shaking off the memory, I sighed. “Let’s go.”
Javi led me to the gym. He could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of teaching me how to fight. While the idea of being able to defend myself against future monsters was appealing, a part of me worried what would happen if I started letting my guard down too much. I wouldn’t be turned into a mindless soldier.
I needed to remember my goal. Escape and then I could spend the rest of my life… in hiding.
Once inside, Javi motioned me toward the back wall and pushed the button to slide the wall panel. I still couldn’t get over the fact they had their own secret store of weapons. It was like something you’d see in a superhero movie.
Some of the weapons took up the whole wall, and I’d never seen the likes of them before. What did they do? All I could tell was that they were gigantic and could probably cause a lot of damage. Apparently, it was perfectly legal to own such weapons. I was beginning to realize that the same rules didn’t apply to the insanely wealthy or maybe it was their monster hunting status.