by Lauren Runow
“Exactly!” he says, proud of himself and his idea.
“I think I’ll take the pillowcase to my friend who has this machine that prints pictures on fabric. I can have your face printed on it and lie with you at night.”
“Okay, now, you’re getting weird.” He laughs, and I can tell he’s being playful.
“Hell no! I want my Drew pillow. You’re the one who put the idea in my head. If you haven’t found out yet, I’m an all-in type of girl.”
“Yeah, I can tell. But it might be freaky, sleeping next to a blown-up picture of myself.”
“What if I hide it until you’re gone?”
He laughs. “I’d still know it existed. What if someone saw it and we had to explain?”
He can barely hold in his laughter at our ridiculous conversation, but I love that he plays along with my crazy ideas.
“Hmm … okay, that might be weird. People might think I dry-hump the pillow when you’re gone.”
His laughter radiates through the phone, and my cheeks start to hurt from smiling so big.
“What if I have the Giants logo and the number twenty-four printed on it with Miller somewhere?” I ask.
He thinks about it. “Okay … I’ll agree to that. That would be cool. I can see that lying across the back of our bed. Yeah, I’d like that actually.”
“Our bed?” I ask in surprise.
“Hey, you’re the one who just said you’re an all-in type of girl. I’m just following your lead.”
I sigh kiddingly. “Hmm, I did say that, didn’t I?”
“Why, yes, you did.”
I lean back on my new pillow, pretending it’s him, and then ask, “How tall are you again?”
“About six-two. Why?”
“I’m trying to envision what it would be like to cuddle next to you.”
He lets out a breath. “We’ll know for real here … someday … hopefully.”
“How long do you think this will last? I’ve heard so many different reports that I think my head’s going to explode. They announced already that school wouldn’t be going back at all. I don’t understand how they can say that this early. I mean, we still have the rest of April, all of May, and the first week of June. That’s eight more weeks before school was supposed to be out.” I stop and sigh.
Eight weeks. Will Drew and I be like this for eight more weeks?
I saw on TV that the MLB is talking about quarantining all the baseball players in one place down in Arizona or Florida, so they can play to empty stadiums. If that happens, he’d have to leave right away. I’d never get a chance to know what his arms felt like, wrapped around me. I’d never even get a chance to kiss him before he left.
My chest aches at the thought.
“Hey, what’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks.
“Sorry. I have these moments of disbelief sometimes. Like, I have to stop myself and ask if this is really happening.”
“I know. I feel the same way. I think everyone is feeling that way though. I promise you, you’re not alone.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Well, actually, yeah, I am alone. Wait, not now, now that I have my Drew pillow!”
He sighs. “You’ll never be alone with me in the picture now.”
“I did hear today that they think we’ve hit the peak. That’s good news, right?”
“It’s very good news. So, maybe this May first date will actually happen.”
“May first …” I say more to myself than to him. “So, that’s twenty more days.”
“Yep … twenty more days.”
We sit in silence as we let that set in.
“Hey, do me a favor,” I ask.
“Anything.”
“Do you have a measuring tape?”
“I’m sure my dad does. Why?”
“Go get it, please. I want you to measure something for me.”
I hear him rustle around and stand up. He walks through his house, and I hear his parents ask if he’s talking to me.
When he responds, “Of course,” my heart does a happy dance.
I can hear his mom in the background say, “Tell her hello for us,” and I dance even more.
It’s like they’ve already welcomed me into their family, and the calmness that washes over me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Maybe he’s right. With him around, I’ll never be alone.
The sound changes slightly when he enters the garage, like there’s an echo around him. “Okay, I have the measuring tape. What am I doing with it?”
“Pull out five feet five inches,” I direct.
“Five feet and five inches,” he says under his breath as I hear the movement of the tape in the background. “Okay, got it. Now what?”
“Hold it up against your body and tell me where it comes to on you.”
“The very top is right below my shoulder. Why?”
I let out a content breath. “It’s perfect.”
“What is?”
“I’ll fit right in the flat part of your chest, and you’ll be able to wrap your arms around me without having to bend down or lift your arms at a weird angle.”
I close my eyes and imagine what that would feel like. His warmth pressed against me as I wrap my arms around his waist. Or even better, I’d bring my arms in against my body, placing my hands under my chin, and let him hold me completely.
“You really would fit perfectly,” he says, and I can tell it’s genuine.
“I can’t wait to feel it for real,” I say.
“Me too. I promise it won’t be the twenty days.”
“Yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah. I don’t think I can wait that much longer,” he says with a chuckle.
“ ‘You don’t love me; you just love my doggy-style,’ ” I say, all dramatic-like.
The laugh that escapes his lips echoes around him even more since he’s still in the garage, and I crack up along with him.
Only time will tell.
16
Day 16
April 11
My face is flushed, and my pulse is starting to race when my phone rings. The familiar clapping of “Centerfield” by John Fogerty turns my face even warmer.
I slam the paperback book I was reading down on the couch and take a deep breath. My mind was already racing, my desires building out of control.
Jeannine, my friend in New York, sent me a book—Black Widow by Lauren Runow—that she said was her favorite by this author. I had known she read dirty books, but holy hell, this book is going to make my little predicament with Drew even harder.
No, I’m not a sexual deviant, and I’ve never met guys on Tinder for a quick fuck, so I should be used to going a long time without sex, but now that I have Drew around, it’s been even harder.
It’s like a Girl Scouts Thin Mint cookie. You don’t crave them year-round, but when they’re around, you want to devour the entire box over and over and over again. Thin Mints are always the first to sell out, and this is why.
Drew has become my Thin Mint, and it really sucks, knowing he’s right there, staring at me to attack him, and I can’t. This is worse than any diet I’ve ever been on.
I close my eyes and swipe to answer the phone call.
“Hello?” I say, mad my voice didn’t sound as level as I’d hoped.
“Hey. What’s going on?” he says.
I try to hide my laugh, wondering if I should tell him what’s really going on.
Oh, you know, I’m over here, thinking about masturbating to a really dirty book. How about you?
I go for nonchalant instead. “Just reading a book.”
“Anything good?”
“My friend recommended it, so I’m thinking it will be.”
“What’s it about?”
The laugh escapes my lips, and I decide, What the hell? So, I go for it.
I cover my face with my hand as I whisper, “A sex club.”
“Oh,” he drawls. “You read dirty books. Man, I’m seeing a whole new side of you.”
“Hey! It’s contemporary romance. And, yes, most couples—minus us right now—have sex. So, yes, it explains the sex but—”
“Whoa, no judgment here,” he cuts me off. “And believe me, we will rectify our little issue very soon.”
I can’t help but giggle. “Our issue?”
“Yes, because, right now, it’s an issue. A huge issue. And, um”—he pauses, and I can hear him rustling around—“it’s getting bigger, the more we talk about it.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “Do you have a growing problem over there?”
“Oh no problems in that department. Only problem I have is that you’re there while I’m here.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I’m definitely here. All alone.”
“Why don’t you read me something from that little book you have there since you don’t have to worry about anyone around you hearing?”
My eyes widen. Can I really do that?
“Um, I’m not …”
“What? You’ve never had phone sex before?” His voice drops an octave, making my mouth water.
“From reading a book? No.” I giggle some more.
“Have you ever done it at all?”
I exhale and admit, “No.”
“Even better. Why don’t you read me something dirty?”
“Well, I was getting to a scene when the phone rang actually.”
“See, it’s like I knew your brain was saying, Gosh, I wish I could fuck Drew right now.”
A sharp inhale enters my chest as my core tightens.
“Nice to know I hit the mark,” he says. “Now, tell me what happened up until the part you’re at?”
“There’s a girl, Kamii, who lost her husband and has become a bit of a workaholic. She meets a girl named Becca, who is this outgoing, crazy girl, and she wants to bring Kamii out of her shell. I just got to the part where Becca is taking Kamii to the club for the first time.”
“And what kind of club is it again?” he asks, and I can tell he’s trying to get me to say it.
“A sex club,” I say and then decide if we’re going to do this, I’m jumping all in. “But even better … it’s an anonymous sex club.”
“Anonymous?”
“Yes. They don’t use real names, and they wear masks, so it’s supposed to be sex with strangers. It’s based out of San Francisco too. Maybe we can look for one when all of this is over …”
“Are you serious?” he asks, surprised.
I laugh out loud. “Um, no. Don’t get your hopes up on that one, big boy.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure we won’t need other people to keep us happy. I’ll keep you satisfied.”
“Oh, really? Confident much?”
“Very. Now, read.”
“Yes, sir.” I laugh before inhaling a breath, and then I start to read.
I sit quietly, shocked at where I am, hoping I don’t look like the most prudish virgin, sitting here by myself.
I’m both very thankful and extremely upset with this rule telling me I can’t join in. Then, I wonder, How is it that I can be both upset and thankful for the same rule? If there wasn’t this rule, could I really just walk up like Becca did and join them?
The answer is no. I couldn’t. I’d never have the guts to do that. The thought saddens me more than I’d like to admit.
What am I even doing here?
I bring my fingertips to my mouth and start to slightly tug on my lower lip when I suddenly feel the heat from someone sitting next to me. When I turn, I see it’s him. Eros. And he’s alone, next to me.
Where did the other woman go?
I drop my fingers from my lips and start to play with the straw in my drink, looking forward, watching the show unfolding in front of me.
There are three guys and three girls. Two of the girls have been stripped of their clothes and are starting in on one of the man’s clothes. Becca is lying down on the bed. One man is stripping her clothes while she already has another man’s dick in her mouth. She’s up on her elbow, leaning to the side, working his dick between her lips, as the other man finishes taking off her skirt.
She’s completely naked now, and the man leans in, licking her folds. The familiar ache between my legs heightens as I continue to watch.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Right in front of me.
“And I can’t believe you were actually reading this,” Drew interrupts with a laugh. “I knew you were my dream girl, but damn, you just upped that to a level I hadn’t known existed.”
“Dream girl?” I ask breathlessly.
“Very much so. Now, keep reading.”
I reposition myself before I begin again. Reading this and then hearing him call me his dream girl are doing some crazy things to my insides. I’m dying to touch myself, but I fight it off as I continue.
I close my legs tightly, shifting in my seat, trying to ease the need I feel.
Heat starts to overwhelm my body, and I realize it’s Eros; he’s sliding closer to me, pushing his body against mine. A shy smile slips from my lips before I turn my attention back to the scene.
Becca is still on her back, but now, a female is straddling her face, and the guy who was licking her before is now doing her slowly as he watches her devour the female. My vision locks on him as he slowly pushes himself in and out of her while she licks the woman she doesn’t even know.
I’m shocked.
I’m mortified.
I’m more turned on than I have ever been in my entire life.
“Yeah, right there with her right now. How is that even possible?” Drew asks. “Please tell me you are too.”
I let out a shaky breath, not able to answer him.
“Yeah, you are. What happens next?”
I continue.
My chest is tight, and my stomach starts to ache as my breathing gets so erratic that I can’t hide it anymore.
To change my focus and try to calm down, I look around the scene to see the other two guys with one girl. They’re sitting on a couch with the girl bouncing up and down on one guy while sucking on the other, who is standing next to them. He’s leaning down, rubbing her breasts, as the other guy rubs her clit.
I hear her moan in ecstasy around the guy’s dick, and I feel myself get wetter than I ever thought was possible from just watching people.
I can’t just sit here. I have to do something.
The glass I was holding is still in my hands, so I open my legs only wide enough to slide the glass down between my thighs, suddenly very thankful Becca made me wear this short skirt. The feeling of the cold glass up against my soaked panties is pushing me further than I imagined. The coldness along with the hardness of the glass pressed against me causes my clit to tingle, releasing pure ecstasy.
Slowly, I move my hips from side to side, trying to hide my movements and not make what I’m doing obvious to anyone around. With my vision stuck on the body of a woman I don’t know while a man’s dick slides in and out of her, I feel myself start to almost drool from my slightly parted lips.
I think I’m getting away with my own private little scene until Eros slides closer, and I hear him whisper in my ear, “Let me help you.”
“Fuck me, Sharee. I’m so fucking hard right now. I don’t know if you should continue,” Drew says, his voice laced with pain.
I take a breath before letting it out. “I wish I could help you.”
“Help me?”
I bite my lip and nod even though I know he can’t see me.
“How would you like to help me, Sharee?”
The way he says my name pushes me over the edge. I put the book down and get more comfortable on my couch. And by more comfortable, I mean, I run my fingers down my stomach and in between my legs.
“I want to feel how big your cock is,” I say as I drop my head back on the couch and rub myself through my pajama pants.
“I wish you could. I don’t remember the last time I was so hard. It’s been like torture ever since I met you.”
“Have you
been jacking off to thoughts of me?” I ask.
“Every day,” he says breathlessly. “It’s like a dream to do it right now, hearing your voice.”
A groan escapes his lips, and visions of him sliding his hand down his cock makes my chest tight.
“Please tell me you’re touching yourself,” he says.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Are you on the outside or inside of your clothes?”
“Outside.”
“If I tell you what to do, will you do it?”
I nod, humming into the phone as my response.
“Close your eyes and envision it’s my hand as you move up to your stomach, slowly touching the top of your panty line before slipping underneath the fabric, all the way until you feel your slit.”
As my fingers glide over the smooth skin, I feel the wetness against my fingertips.
“Move your fingers around until you reach your clit.”
A little squeak escapes my lips, and he moans when he hears I’ve hit my mark.
“Fuck, I’ve wondered what sounds you would make. That’s going to be ingrained in my brain for the rest of my life.”
He takes a deep inhale, and all I can think of is him holding back his urge as he moves his hand up and down his shaft.
“Now, play with your clit, twirl around on it before sliding down and slipping one finger inside. As soon as it’s all the way in, I want you to slide it all the way out. Repeat that motion until I say to stop.”
I spread my legs wider as I do as he said, imagining it’s him controlling my body right now.
“Continue to do so while cupping your hand around the mound of your pussy, giving it pressure on your clit.”
I do, and a loud moan escapes my lips. He growls in return.
“Keep your pressure there as you insert another finger and start moving both of them in and out, only slightly, keeping them inside you.”
“Yeah,” I say breathlessly.
“You like that?” he asks, his voice cracking.
“Yes, Drew. Very much.”
“God, I love my name on your lips. Say it again.”
“Drew. Drew. Oh my God, Drew,” I say as my body starts to tingle and burn in all the right places.