“How did you sleep?” she asked.
“I haven’t slept better in years,” I said, admitting the truth. I had been missing what an actual sleep felt like for a while. I wasn’t sure if it was because there were no drugs in my life, meaning my anxiety was usually pretty high which then lead to restless nights and nightmare prone sleeps.
And then here comes Courtney, curing me. All in one incredibly hot night, she was able to do things that no therapist was able to accomplish. I had an incredible night's sleep and best of all… I felt myself letting go of the dependency to drugs. I wasn’t sure how long this reprieve would last, but I didn’t care. Something just clicked and I realized that my old life was fucking done. I’ll face the pain head-on as long as that means keeping the life I built for myself. Keeping Courtney.
She was all I needed. I didn’t want to numb myself and risk losing her because of it.
“I’d like to think that was because of me but I did get new Tempur-Pedic pillows so take that as you will,” she shrugged underneath me. I laughed into her hair, tickling the back of her head.
“I think it was a fifty-fifty split,” I said, squeezing her a bit tighter in my arms.
“I’ll take it,” she said, spinning around so that we were face to face, her eyes locking onto mine. Her fingers came up and traced the outline of chest, following the curves of the muscles, making them twitch involuntarily under her light touch. She laid one reassuring hand on me, closing tightly, just so that I could feel like she wasn’t going anywhere.
“So how did you do it? Get over your addiction?”
Her question was innocent, only wanting to further explore my past, peel back layers that I had hid underneath for years. I had never really talked to anyone about this except for Ryan. But this girl was doing things. Things I just couldn’t explain.
“Someone close to me passed away and it just opened my eyes,” I said, it was what I believed as the truth and it was coming out, the memory becoming clearer. My hands became clammy out of nowhere as the nightmare once again resurfaced and came back in full force, not relenting its grip on my mind.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, placing a hand over the side of my face.
“It was my fault,” I said, the words flooding out of me uncontrolled, unfiltered, words I had never spoken aloud. The source of my nightmare. The source of the torture that had kept my soul under lock and key. The vivid images of my nightmare now painting the real-life picture of what happened the night Patrick died.
We were both up at five in the morning, just getting home from a red-carpet after party we managed to crash. He had gotten Sandra Bullock’s number on the back of a napkin. I banged a Thai model flown in straight for her magazine spread. It was perfect, absolutely no downs. We kept on taking shots too, right after taking lines of coke in the bathroom stall. My heart was racing the whole night, the adrenaline and euphoria crashing together to create the perfect state.
Of course, everyone went home, so we did too. We stumbled inside, still buzzed, still hyped up over how awesome the night was. I suggested we did one more line, just one more to really cap it off. Patrick said no. He said no five more times, saying he felt a little weird. I ignored him, pressuring him, saying he was just overreacting. I wanted to keep riding the night, not throw it to waste.
So Patrick finally did it. And an hour later he was dead.
And it was all my fault.
“Oh no, Jason. Oh Jesus,” she said, running her hand down my face, sadness filling her eyes. I could see tears for me beginning to form, threatening to fall down onto her pristine white sheets. I brought my hand up to her face, pushing back a strand of her morning mane and I smiled at her.
“I’ve never been able to tell that to anyone. You’ve helped me more than I could have ever thought possible.” I leaned in and kissed her, cupping the back of her head in my hand. A meaningful kiss. One that held a real promise.
"I can't imagine what you must have gone through," she said, her breath tickling my neck.
"It was, has been, really hard. Waking up from that nightmare just made everything more real. It was why I called you that night. Why I knew you would answer."
"I was a little surprised. Happy, but surprised."
"I've been wanting to ask you out since you first ruined my white coat," I admitted.
"Why didn't you?" she asked, throwing me off a bit.
"I guess you were the one girl I was always intimidated by."
"What made you come around?"
"Look at you, it was only a matter of time," I said, my voice getting low, turning into a slight growl. I tilted her chin up and leaned down. Our tongues met again, leaving nothing to say, but the exchange of passion that was growing again between us. Our kiss became hungrier as we both realized how close our naked bodies were to each other, the heat emanating and getting trapped between the both of us. My dick began to grow, pushing against her thigh.
“You make everything better,” I said into her neck, my teeth nipping at her soft skin, turning it pink as I sucked a bit harder.
“You have the same effect,” Courtney said, pulling the back of my head again, pushing herself up so that her belly pressed against my stiff cock, causing it to throb between the both of us. She undulated her body, straddling my thick leg with hers and sliding on me, I could feel how wet she was on my firm thigh. I groaned into her neck as she let go of my thigh and started to move her whole body downwards, kissing my abs on her way, licking each one, teasing my cock with her small hand, stroking it up and down, cupping my balls.
Her lips finally got to the tip of my straining dick, pre-cum oozing out of the top and onto her soft tongue. She wrapped her mouth around the throbbing head, sending waves and waves of pleasure come crashing over me, her warm, wet mouth encircling my hardness. With each stroke of my cock, another shot of ecstasy was administered straight into my blood stream. She was fucking perfect. She could barely even swallow half of me, but she did her best, gagging a little as I pushed forward, discovering what her limits were.
I felt lustful. Like I wanted to stretch those limits. Like I wanted to challenge her the same way I wanted her to challenge me. I thrust upwards a little harder, feeling her wet, slick throat open for the length of my cock. She gagged a little more on the thickness but kept at it, using the saliva as extra lubricant, creating a slippery sensation that felt fucking incredible. I kept thrusting, my hand now pushing her head down further onto my dick, until she made it down to my balls, my fullness inside her. She pulled back, her tongue working me in ways I couldn’t even have imagined. I hooked my hands under her shoulders and pushed her up. I then flipped her over and pinned her underneath me, hearing a bit of surprise at the suddenness of the move. I hovered with my cock just above her wet lips, parting them to the sides as I rubbed myself between them, my shaft sliding up and down.
I then scooted backwards and licked my way down to her sweet cleft. My tongue moved its away about and over her clit. I felt her tremble underneath my flicking tongue, her body feeling rockets of pleasure with each pass. I spread her wet lips open and tasted her inside, my tongue adding the perfect amount of pressure, taking in her sweetness as I pushed on her spot. The one that made her hips thrust forward, mashing herself onto my face. It was really fucking hot. I took a hand and stroked my cock, beating it hard as Courtney came in my mouth. Her hips thrusting forward, being supported by my hand under her ass.
My other hand kept slamming my dick, feeling myself tighten as I reached the edge. Huge, stringy loads of cum shooting out from my throbbing cock. I moaned into Courtney, both our bodies lost to an almost infinite bliss, our nerves firing off at extraordinary rates, delivering a euphoria that was unmatchable.
It took us both a minute or so to catch up, to finally come down from the roller coaster of a ride we both gave each other. This girl knew how to do things to my body that no one else even hinted at. She was proving harder and harder to shake.
Not that I ever wanted to shake
her.
“Want breakfast?” she asked, still a little out of breath.
I smiled and took in just how truly perfect this girl was.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The bacon sizzled on the pan as the oil popped and crackled underneath, Courtney standing guard over it. She was wearing teal shorts that stopped just underneath the curve of her perfect ass with a tie-dye shirt she got from a fraternity formal. I sat on her couch, shirtless with a pair of black gym shorts, my tattoos now on full display.
“What’s that mean?” she asked, pointing over at the quote on my forearm.
"It says, “Dum Spiro Spero, it mean’s ‘while I breathe I hope,” I unconsciously began making a small circle with my shoulder and stretching it out, a dull pain underneath, one that I could now handle without any help.
“I love that,” she said, twirling the spatula in the air and nodding as she focused back on the breakfast. The door to the apartment clicked open as Emma walked in, looking a little taken aback by me. She hid her surprise well, recovering from her lack of composure and dropping her purse on the table by the door, a white envelope sticking out of the top. She slipped off her sandals and waved at me, “Morning! Hey Court,” she said to her best friend.
This was the first time I had seen Emma since the shooting. God that was such a weird fucking night. To think that I was in a shooting. It was just bizarre.
Emma turned to me, stumbling to find the words. She fidgeted with the edges of the sleeves on her pink sweater, imprinted with "UCLA" across the center.
“I… uh want to-” I cut her off, “Don’t worry about it. None of it was your fault,” I said, getting up from the couch and walking over to her, my arms outspread. We both hugged, feeling each other’s trauma, relieving some of the burden. We both knew exactly what the other went through. Well, almost. But specifics aside, we both still went through an incredibly traumatizing ordeal.
We both broke the hug at the slightest, but still demanding, cough coming from Courtney’s post by the bacon. “We all came out ok, that’s what’s important. No need to worry about all the other bullshit,” I said, trying to emphasize the miracle that we were all indeed alive. I mean, the shooter had plenty of time to make a life-ending shot, and the distance between my heart and the gun barrel was only a few feet. But we all survived, and for that we had to keep hoping.
“You’re right, you’re right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a Debbie downer for you guys. What have you guys been up to?” Emma asked, trying to change the conversation. She was just as good at Courtney. I watched her walking over to Courtney and checking out what was on the menu. Courtney flicked a rice grain left on the counter, causing it to bounce on the approaching Emma. I could see how close they were. That was when I knew I could trust her. Poor girl had already gone through so much, I couldn’t begin to put myself in her shoes. Well, sort of at least.
Courtney looked at me, holding the slightest moment where we both flashed back to our passionate fuckfest, and then she giggled, “I think I’ll plead the fifth.” She swatted Emma’s encroaching hand away from a bacon strip. “Girl, I can just give you a straw and you can suck up the grease like that if you want,” Courtney said, reaching over on the counter and pulling out a bright pink plastic straw from a container, handing it over to Emma.
She laughed, taking the straw and throwing out in the garbage next to her.
“No thanks,” she said, pulling out a gallon of milk and pouring herself a glass.
I walked over to Courtney, wrapping my hands around her waist, resting my head on hers as she pushed the bacon around, getting ready to scoop them up and place them down on their white Ikea bought plates.
“What’s Ryan up to?” I asked Emma. I noticed how Emma seemed to brighten up when I mentioned Ryan’s name, like she was happy just talking about him, his name invoking some strong emotions. I could tell they had some powerful chemistry together, and I had really never seen Ryan so happy.
“Working, when do you go back?” she asked, placing down two other glass cups on the wooden table, setting up the spots for our bacon feast.
“They gave me a week to relax and then I have to jump back into it,” I said, thankful that the administrator had reopened my file and decided I needed a week to recover. It made sense too. I needed to make sure I was always at my best when I was at work. Being half-assed could cost someone else their life, and that blood was not going on my hands. Not again.
“Nice, got any plans?” Emma asked, leaning on the counter, dangerously close to the bacon.
“Nothing in particular,” I said, glancing over at Courtney and imagining a week of lovemaking, never leaving her room except for food.
Then Emma brightened up, jumping back a little from the table as she remembered the news she intended on telling us in the first place.
“Well, I’ll have you guys know, I figured out what I’m doing with my life!”
I looked at Emma, remembering she had to reconsider her future career path after she found out she passed out whenever she saw blood. That was how her and Ryan had met. She had passed out and got a concussion so Ryan was the doctor who was treating her. He never stopped telling me how perfect she looked, her eyes half open after the concussion but fluttering wider after every minute, finally opening to reveal eyes that took his breath away. At least that’s what he told me.
Ryan could be a sap sometimes.
“Oh? Wait, wait! Let me guess!” Courtney arched an eyebrow and chewed on her lower lip, thinking as to what Emma would have decided to go with.
“I’m getting… oh no, not philosophy?”
“No, I want to have some prospect at a job that pays money. I decided I’m going into health administration, working on the other side of the hospital. Not down on the front-lines but still making a difference,” she said, beaming at her new found path. I could tell things seemed to have agreed with her, the same way things clicked with me and Courtney. It was a hard moment to describe, like a clarity overtaking all of my senses, as though I had needed glasses this whole time and finally managed to grab prescription lenses.
“Nice, well I’m glad you got that figured out. Trust me, I know how stressful it feels to be lost. Secret is… no one has their shit together,” I said, happy that Emma could get things sorted. I wondered if part of it was because of how happy Ryan seemed to make her. She was glowing with something, it made her carry herself higher.
“And here I was thinking I did this whole time,” Emma said.
“It’s all a learning process.”
“Speaking of learning, did you study for Biology tomorrow?” Courtney asked, transferring the sizzling sticks of greasy goodness onto the paper plate, a towel laying underneath so that the excess oil would have a place to go. She brought it over to the long table in front of the couch and sat down next to me, leaning in and grabbing a slice of bacon, crunching it in between her perfect teeth. I put a hand on her knee, claiming her as mine.
This girl was mine.
“Shit, no. I was too busy almost getting shot... Sorry, Jason... that was insensitive,” I shrugged and she kept talking, “do you think Dr. Grace is going to let me retake it?”
“I don’t know, remember that one time you thought her TA farted by your desk on purpose?” Courtney said, chuckling at the memory, “I mean that is pretty ridiculous,” she commented on the side.
“Yeah, why? What does that have to do with it?”
“Well if he did, in fact, let one rip by your unsuspecting person, then he probably doesn’t like you, meaning he won’t let you retake. It’s up to the TAs discretion in Grace’s class.”
“What?!” Emma said, rummaging through her backpack so that she could find the class syllabus. I guessed she probably didn’t read all of it.
“But hey, maybe it was just a big lunch and you were an innocent bystander?” Courtney said. I watched them both continue arguing on whether or not the teacher’s assistant passed gas after considering the collateral damage or not. Emma
was still rustling around in her backpack as Courtney began pulling out papers and reading the random class titles.
“When did you take History of Vampires?!”
“Summer term, it was for a Humanities credit. Remember I told you that hot kid, Tyler, was in the class?”
“Ugh that’s right! You still should have told me to take the class. It sounds like fun and it was probably easy as dick,” she said, putting the syllabus back into Emma’s messy bag.
Easy as dick? I think I was going to start using that one now.
“It was fun and actually really hard. You’d be surprised how much history there is, very specific history with very specific dates and names. It wasn’t easy remembering those things.”
“Yeah, I bet. Wait, Jason, what did you have to learn? Oh yeah, that’s right, every single thing about the human body,” Courtney said, smirking in that mischievous way of hers. The one where she knew she was close to stepping on a few toes but was personable enough to play it off, her smile was able to disarm even the toughest of opponents.
“Well whatever. In case you were wondering, Vlad Tepes is the original Dracula,” she said, storming off into the small guest bedroom where she was crashing in. Before Emma closed the door, she poked her head out of the side and called back to us.
“Oh, I forgot to mention, I think that Ally girl was sitting outside when I was coming in. She acted really weird when she saw me.” Suddenly my world felt like it shifted underneath me, a sharp sliding motion that ripped the ground under me and made me feel wobbly. Her words turned my blood cold. Why was Ally hovering around us like a dangerous insect, the kind that burrow under your skin to lay eggs. I couldn’t help but suspect there was something else going on here.
Courtney looked at me. She knew there was something off too. Why would Ally just be sitting outside and not tell either of us? It wasn’t something normal people did. She came over to me and sat on my lap, kissing me quickly before looking at me, a worried expression painted across her beautiful features. I shook my head, not knowing what to say. I couldn’t really tell her how close I was to Ally, not without risking an argument with Courtney, or something even worse than that. Fuck that, she didn’t have to know. But I still had to keep her safe, because whatever Ally was planning, I had a feeling that Courtney could be involved.
Numbed (The White Coat Series) Page 9